Zero Punctuation: Split Second: Velocity

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 NEXT
 

Raging virgins like Yahtzee make me proud to be a raging virgin myself

I know what he means when he said he likes to play racing games, but not good at them, same as me XD

Didn't know which game to buy from this and Blur though.

Don't worry about touching the game making you a prick yahtzee. You're already a prick, but you're a prick with an accent and a reasonable approach to critiquing games. It is why you have a much beloved show after all.

Therumancer:
until Scrooge Mcduck tells Mickey that his analysis of the market dictates that it's the ideal time for a release.

Scrooge actually employed someome for stuff like market analysis, money counting, and other number crunching stuff when he's not in his robocop-on-a-unicycle armor. Scrooge himself was an adventurer until the end (if you count the EU ending as canon in the NA Disney franchise).

The one oversight of the review was that the player has the ability to change the tracks via powerups causing things to explode.

So saying that there aren't any track variations is a little bit misleading; it's just that you have to earn those variants. That said; I'm only about 3 Seasons in and it's a solid enough game for what it is but I have started to notice a repetition in tracks and began to wonder about that....

TheYellowCellPhone:
Holy shit, no one got probation/suspension on a ZP video. This is a new record.

Other than that, nice review, and I'm disappointed in myself for laughing at the pregnant women joke.

If only it were true. Sadly...

ForensicYOYO:
What the hell! Probation? all I did was post the number1 to save my spot so I could come back after I watched it and edit my message. Was that so wrong? O and I got 7 days for it!?! what a load of crap.
OT: I liked your review as usual.

Man, I really think this is your funniest in a while. The electric wheelchair camera analogy is probably my favourite one you've done.

Well I get the point that the game structure is weak, but it never got in the way of appreciating it. I watch and enjoy every Emmerich, Bruckheimer and even Bay movies and I'm proud of it. My point is I like being blasted with big explosions. So I could say that I fit in the testosterone cave man category. If you are like me, then give Split "stroke" Second a chance.

Its not my fault my mom's six feet wide and farts carbon monoxide she's ummm.. diabetic yeah that's it.

ForensicYOYO:
What the hell! Probation? all I did was post the number1 to save my spot so I could come back after I watched it and edit my message. Was that so wrong? O and I got 7 days for it!?! what a load of crap.
OT: I liked your review as usual.

your kind makes me sick. well those that think its ok to go FIRST HEY LOOK AT ME IM ON TOP OF ALL YOUR POSTS.

I bought it after it got good write ups from proper critics. It's not bad, I did find myself playing it purely to complete it after the stages got stale.

Playing Split/Second felt like playing Bump'n'Burn on Amiga, except it totally sucked.

So what you're saying is that Split/Second advocates blue shell communism?

The Thatcher joke had me in stitches.

Never took my interest despite the rather interesting concept, although the Motorstorm appears to be going to the next step in over the top destruction.

The reason being is the somewhat limited selection. Yes I know one track and turn out many different ways but it's still the usually industrial complex either way.

In fact, that's my issue with racing games in general.

On a similar note to Yahtzee and driving games, I like fighting games but suck at them to for the same reasons Yahtzee dislikes them.

I bought and played Split/Second for at least four hours and I honestly didn't know that the title had "velocity" in it. Also, I liked Burnout: Revenge better. Revenge was the first Burnout game that I owned, and I actually got most of the achievements and everything. Also, in my opinion Burnout's music selection was better then Split/Second's.

Go play Blur instead, it's better.

Funny episode, though as stated at the start you don't seem to be very good at racing games :P

Huh. Split/Second: Velocity, eh.

Well, I remember I got into the Blur beta first, and thought Blur was pretty cool as it was pretty much Mario Kart with sweet graphics.

And then I downloaded the demo for Split/Second: Whatever. Bland graphics, no multiplayer demo, destroying things felt like quicktime events where you pretty much pushed X and the same building exploded every single time. I didn't get to pick buildings or anything. Boo. Went right back to blowing people up* in 20-player Blur matches.

* = Getting blown up myself most of the time, actually...

"to keep the general populace distracted from the machinations of the secret world government."

Why did you have to reveal my mediocre world-takeover plot :'(

Good episode, the last few have been better than usual.

Nice review as usual but I can't help thinking it's going a little bit too far with the adverts now. It's being pushed further and further each week so I'm afraid I'll be catching ZP elsewhere from now on.

ForensicYOYO:
What the hell! Probation? all I did was post the number1 to save my spot so I could come back after I watched it and edit my message. Was that so wrong? O and I got 7 days for it!?! what a load of crap.
OT: I liked your review as usual.

Yes. You aren't supposed to do that. How long have you been here? You had to have picked up on that rule by now.

Split second looked fun but judging from this review it sounds like mod nation or blur would be better. I'm probably going to get mod nation even though it too has some serious problems.

Since too many people seem to be traking ZP as a proper review instead of a humerous rant, I'll address a couple of the issues he brought up.

Premise:
1) It's not a city, it's all built explicitly for the "show".
2) The "On the next episode" stuff is not there to tell a story or recap or anything, it's just to create a sense of emersion so that you actually feel like you're actually participating in/watching the show.
3) The "Don't Try this at Home" is meant to be tongue in cheek and tie it into the "TV Show" theme.

Tracks:
4) Yes, there do need to be more, but there release is staggered accross the entire season, so you won't see them all till the final couple of episodes.
5) Reverse tracks would not be simple as 90% of the PowerPlays (explosions, route changes, etc) wouldn't work anymore.

Gameplay:
6) If you're being blown up 10m from the finish it's because you suck. Either hang back in second and blow the person in front up or put your foot down and pull far enough ahead to be out of range.
7) The PowerPlays aren't random, they're in the exact same place each time you race. If you fail to remember where then that's not the games fault.
8) There are multiple tracks in one location. a) it's all the same city b) there are three main areas in which the tracks are located: downtown, dock/powerplant and the desert. Using the route change powerplays will have you shifting between the diferent tracks mid race.

Fun game. I'm a huge fan of the Burnout series, and this feels extremely familiar. It definitely has its quirks...Burnout is a much more aggressive game, while Split Second is more a "passive aggressive" game. It's the difference between smacking someone with your car vs. pressing a button to activate explosives that may or may not connect. I found Burnout more road rage inducing, while in Split Second, you barely care who caused the gas station next to you explode. Spectacular ride though, and worth at least a rent.

The pregnant women fighting for the right to chow down on some tasty foetus was an interesting idea, I give it a decade (tops) before it becomes a staple of Saturday night television.

On a mildly related note, 23rd birthday today and my girlfriend got me a Zero Punctuation T-shirt as one of my gifts. This made me really rather cheerful.

Hey, Yahtzee? That part where you point out how incredibly stupid it is to use a "/" where a "-" would be more appropriate? THANK YOU. I hate it when they do that.

Queen Michael:
Hey, Yahtzee? That part where you point out how incredibly stupid it is to use a "/" where a "-" would be more appropriate? THANK YOU. I hate it when they do that.

Absolutely right. It should have been Sec/ond. Ha!

The cartoon version of Yahtzee in a car is really cute.

I want to hear more about this driving instructor story...

Liquidcathedral:
Raging virgins like Yahtzee make me proud to be a raging virgin myself

You mean you both can't drive or you're both virgins who are really pissed off about life?

That with the moms eating babies was one hell of a joke

Siege_TF:

Therumancer:
until Scrooge Mcduck tells Mickey that his analysis of the market dictates that it's the ideal time for a release.

Scrooge actually employed someome for stuff like market analysis, money counting, and other number crunching stuff when he's not in his robocop-on-a-unicycle armor. Scrooge himself was an adventurer until the end (if you count the EU ending as canon in the NA Disney franchise).

This wasn't intended as a serious analysis of Disney characters. Though I suppose in the spirit of my original post I could claim that Scrooge was simply acting in a TV show similar to how Mickey was given what he was apparently really like. :P

Besides if you wanted to get really technical back in Disney's "A Christmas Carol" where he was Scrooge (you know, the original point), Mickey was playing the Bob Cratchett [SP] role and acting as his clerk...

That would mean that Yahtzee's image might be Scrooge dressing up in mouse ears as Mickey to do this kind of stuff, while the actual Mickey comes up with the market analysis for when to release the car tracks.... but such thoughts rapidly get too disturbing for even me to contemplate long. You don't need Cthulhu to shatter minds when you can put Disney characters into warped roles.....

... but the game isn't based on luck at all, in fact the smart player won't take first until the final lap, constantly hang back until they can spring a powerful trap towards the end and then win. The trick is in playing the course and keeping pace, not only that but the power-ups are earned, not randomly distributed.

Methinks you missed the point.

Gotta say I'm in the same boat. I really don't mind racing games but I'm just not very good at them.. and that is only exacerbated by the need for most racing games to include luck based mechanics or rubber band AI. Even when I do get in a good racing groove and am doing well, it's beyond frustrating to know that one tiny mistake, or the game apparently deciding you're just doing too well at it, will knock you out of first with no chance to recover.

Hehe...Good ep. I liked the racing action, but I got some strange glitches at points...

I laughed at the part of the pregnant ladies having to eat eachothers foetusses.

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Registered for a free account here