Zero Punctuation: Split Second: Velocity

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Having this and Blink come out in the same month was too much for my prehistoric inclinations to ignore, and I picked Split/Second up. I convinced myself I was getting better at drifting, but finally threw the game away at season 6 after having again been inexplicably beaten by a truck a full lap ahead of me. When I drive that same truck the acceleration curve from 0-60mph was something like 14 seconds, so I don't know how he did it.

Sweet review, Yahtzee

this was brilliant. some of your points were absolutely spot on.

The whole random unavoidable obstacles thing and repetitive race tracks is what made Mario Kart Wii more annoying than fun. Great review Yahtzee, Split/Second can be thrown on the large pile of the other crappy quality games.

You made made my new favorite review, Yahtzee.

And it's convinced me not to get Split Second, Might get the same appeal of it watching a youtube playthrough.

Secret World Government is a reference to "Yahtzee Takes On The World", a webcomic which he made from 2000-2002, before ZP. I actually like it better than his current work because he did a lot of surreal humor on a topic that is completely different from gaming: taking over the world, with the help of an alien, his Borg guardian angel, an anime chick and a guy who's half himself and half himself from a parallel universe.

You know, I still can't make up my mind which to get out of Split;:Sec'ond/Veloc~ity or Blur, and this review didn't help. That's not Yahtzee's fault, more my own view/taste in games.

Have you ever tried watching zero punctuation when just coming home from a drunken binge, it seems like Yahzee talks even faster and is even funnier, strange huh?

It's always more fun when Yahtzee obliterates a game that I don't care about at all. SMG2 was painful.

All racing games are nothing more than point-click adventures for people with attention deficit disorder.

i.e. pointless and boring.

Great episode ^~^! Though I do wonder what the target audience was for this game o~O!

fetus joke... not cool or funny just disgusting

not as much vitriol as I expected, and the dead baby comedy kinda falls flat. C'mon Yahtzee, you can do better!

Am I the only one that noticed that he used a 2nd generation Mazda Miata in rainbow colors has his race car graphic? What's going on there...

This is the best review he's done in a while. Acerbic and on the money.

How the hell did he manage to mention tits several times in a review about a racing game made by DISNEY....
Takes skill...

Picking nits, but the city shown at ~1:29 is Atlanta. Nitpicking even further reveals that it is, more specifically, Hotlanta.

Am I the only one who thought the cars looked like rodents?

I rather enjoyed this review, but I wouldn't advise eating while watching it. Especially something seafood related. Appetite control, thank you Yahtzee. :D

I was thinking about getting this game, but after seeing this I'm not so sure.

If it's really that repetitive, I think I'll rent it first, before I purchase.

Yahtzee at his ascerbic best.

This is the best review in quite a while.

Thanks!

Great review, another racing game that I won't even touch with a barge pole. Oh and I laughed and winced at the foetus joke. Something about babies...

I thought I was the only one that collected disco balls while also being good at fellatio.

hmm those choppers in the vid are shooting... fuel tanks? lol sry i still get a kick out of the common mistake of them being bombs :p

Great review as always, loved the fetus joke. Still dying to see a retro review of Lair or Folklore!

ForensicYOYO:
What the hell! Probation? all I did was post the number1 to save my spot so I could come back after I watched it and edit my message. Was that so wrong? O and I got 7 days for it!?! what a load of crap.
OT: I liked your review as usual.

O.K. I know just from lurking that the "First Post" thing will get you into trouble. The thing is I can't find anything about it or much of anything else in the posting guidelines. So is this one of those unwritten rules? If so are there more?

ForensicYOYO:
What the hell! Probation? all I did was post the number1 to save my spot so I could come back after I watched it and edit my message. Was that so wrong? O and I got 7 days for it!?! what a load of crap.
OT: I liked your review as usual.

You know you're not supposed to save the number one spot. They're probably trying to discourage the "First!" epidemic of other forums.

I'm not really a fan of racing games in general, but I did like this one. It was a lot like an HD Mario Kart with less bullshit. I thought the powerups were cool because you have to earn them one of several ways and if you drive skillfully you can avoid being blown to pieces rather than just sucking down a blue shell. Some of the earlier races have drivers using unfairly advanced cars, but I never really felt like luck was a huge part of the proceedings.

I loved the review and i love the game then again i like racing games and blowing stuff up next to people near the finish making them crash out then steal first is so fun and unsetting when done to you but still like it. yes makes me feel like a prick when i touch it to but so much fun.

"Life was tough in Thatcher's Britain..."

I actually laughed out loud at this one. This one was quite well done.

Podunk:
I'm not really a fan of racing games in general, but I did like this one. It was a lot like an HD Mario Kart with less bullshit. I thought the powerups were cool because you have to earn them one of several ways and if you drive skillfully you can avoid being blown to pieces rather than just sucking down a blue shell. Some of the earlier races have drivers using unfairly advanced cars, but I never really felt like luck was a huge part of the proceedings.

Idk, the bullshit is kind of what made Mario Kart for me. I haven't played this game, but it looks like HD Mario Kart, but with an interesting and different type of bullshit.

The best thing that I got from this review is the affirmation that Yahtzee doesn't drive! That makes me quite happy.

played the demo...ya idk, single player seems like it'd warrant a rental maybe
multiplayer...dunno how that holds up but eh well it still looked a lot better than Blur did

Sounds like Mario Kart, but with exploding blue shells.

I like how he now specifically puts in edgy jokes, as if he's read the talk section on his TvTropes page, and just wants those people angry.
Anyway, liked it, as I always do.

LOL it's stupid how they say don't try this at home if it's impossible to do so.

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