Escape to the Movies: The Expendables

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Rigs83:

When was the last time you saw a big budget film without an A-Lister or nothing but A-listers to draw in audiences. would Inception have just as well with an unknown in the lead instead of Dicaprio. A-listers get the roles because they can guarantee box office receipts.

Actually, yes, I think Inception would have done equally as well without DiCaprio. There are many, many good movies that use a relatively unknown lead star without giving up its integrity or its revenue.

I went to see the Expendables because I don't give a damn if they make a movie catering to geek and game culture because I don't give a damn about geek and game culture. Hell, most videoegames revolve around guys with biceps bigger than their heads shooting impoverished minorities while things blow up so Expendables is more like a game world than Scott Pilgrim.

...really? That is a massive pile of bullshit trying to pass itself off as a logical comparison, without even being relevant in the first place.

You watch Expendables because you don't go to the movies every week but you want to kill two hours enjoying AC and popcorn and not need a notepad to know what the hell is going on or watch actors you don't like act with imaginary objects that will be put in during post work.

Ok, so it has the "fun" factor of blowing shit up. There's nothing *wrong* with that or with preferring that over more cerebral films. But what else? Does it have actors who can actually portray a character? Does it have action sequences that do anything OTHER than try to pass themselves off as crap references to movies from 30 years ago? If it's not going to bother even trying to do something new with its resources, even graphically, then there's no reason at all not to treat it like any other crap movie like Cop Out or Twilight.

I thought it was ok, nothing to write home and scream about, but twas a good way to pass a boring thursday night with a few mates after the pub.

I'm on the fence about Bobs reviews and yay or nays personally, I didnt feel like seeing District 9, but he said to go see it and I'm thankful I did. But he also recommended Kick Ass too.....which very nearly put me to sleep.

Thank you MovieBob for putting the expendebles where they belong, six feet under the ground.

Hubilub:

IronStorm9:
He's not insulting the people who like the movie.

Yes he is! Actually, it's worse. He's insulting people who like the movie's premise.

And even then, how the hell does saying that Stallone is cashing in on this film makes sense? Stallone is one of the most respectable directors out there, he's the last person to do a movie simply for a cash-in

But that's just what the movie was. It had no substance, you could switch the actors in and out and no one could tell the difference, and two of the best 80s movies actors (Willis and Schwarzenegger) only get cameos. I saw an interview with Stallone on TV and he said he only picked them because he thought they were pathetically imitating him and he made several comments along the lines of "They're over the hill".

ironlordthemad:
Ok first off, I liked this movie, so I think movie bob is just off crying in a corner because his beloved 80's video games movie was beaten by a 80's movie movie.

But I do agree about the gore, some propper gore would have pushed this above Rambo for me.

Sometimes I get the feeling that moviebob is too smart for his own good, or that somehow he is being forced to review movies he doesn't want too, which makes him grumpy, so he gives movies that he has a slight bad feeling about a thrashing to make himself feel better. I can see why he lept on the chance to suck on Scott Pilgrim, thus getting him the nintendo kid crowd, because he couldn't stop the Expendables crowd, as he mentioned, its already number 1 in the box office, beating two movies that most critical/artistic/pretencious people call "Good".
So by bashing the expendables and hyping back to how much he loves Scott Pilgrim, he is trying to get more love from the nintendo crowd. Forgetting that not everyone was a nintendo kid or likes Michael Cera (or the rest of that indie douchebag mess). I'm just old enough to have played "the classics" but I didn't because I went outside or was busy reading rather than sitting with an old school nintendo consol and I'm sure that I can't be the only one. Its just that on here this is his primary (and therefore target) audience.

This is just MovieBob throwing a hissy-fit because of Scott Pilgrim, notice that the first couple of comments on this thead are "WOW we love your nerd rage!" And thats all Moviebob has done here, just ranted, because thats all he needed to do, this isn't a review, he just rants about how he doesn't like it. I didn't catch any of your notes on the movie's direction style, nothing about Rourke's good performance as the older father figure type (other than mentioning that he is the manager). And you know I would have let you pan the shit out of both of those two subjects, as long as it had given your review some substance.
You could have pointed out how Rourke is a parody of what this type of Macho attitude does to real people. Rourke is hurt, badly, boozing and bedhopping with women half his age to fill a hole is his heart that he is too macho to let show for fear of exposing a weakness. Rourke's only release of any true emotion is his oldest and truest friend, someone who has seen the same blood and same mud as him. Stallone and Rourke work well together to show two sides of the same coin and MovieBob could have even acknowledged this. But no...
Nerd rage has clouded his vision.
As I said at least twice now, this isn't Moviebob reviewing, this is MovieBob ranting and throwing his dummy out the pram. Ignore him like you would any other baby in the shopping centre and go form your own opinion, you might agree with him in the end, but realise that a reviewer's opinion is NOT your opinion.

I think that sometimes Bob forgets that not everyone goes too the movies to find an experience that moves them, that makes them think about the depths of the human soul and what "It" means. Sometimes people go too the movies just to be entertained and movies like this are made to do one thing, entertain.

As for the firefights being boring:

That was a good read and I agree. Fine work you did posting all that.

Hubilub:
I could barely finish watching this review. Took a lot of strength.

I can't believe Bob this week. We are obedient sheep because we go see one of the biggest collaboration films this decade instead of watching a film that was barely advertised in many places? We are the worst kind of people on earth because we like the premise that a movie will be an homage to 80s action films?

He dropped the ball on this review. Insulting a film is one thing, insulting someone for liking it is another, but insulting people for thinking the premise sounds like a fun idea?. That's a new low. I won't even go into how much I disagree with you on the quality of the film.

For someone who tries to hinder people from being elitist nerds, you are one of the biggest elitist nerds I've seen in quite a while.

I agree completely. To me the movie looks like a big ol' piece of crap, but it's incredibly elitist to look down on others for liking it.

I don't recall Bob saying anything this brutally offensive about the crowd that loves Twilight. I think he's just personally butt-hurt that Pilgrim didn't fair so well at the box-office.

If you want to be taken seriously as a reviewer, don't insult the audience. You're not a social commentator, you're a movie reviewer so act like one. Review the movies and give evidence why this film doesn't deserve recognition, praise, or people's money.

You're entitled to your own opinion and interpretation of this movie, as is everyone else in the world. But to blindly cast aspersions upon the audience, should carry some consequences.

...All right...all right...I apologize. What I said was dumb and I didn't think halfway thru it. Then again, who does when the post on a forum?

Besides, nothing says "controversy" and brings out the worst in people like a good-old-fashioned "Us vs. them" conflict. I should've known better than to get involved in this petty thing and for that I apologize. Maybe it's a generational thing, I don't know. But there's a huge gap right here and most people are content making it wider instead of trying to build a Goddamn bridge.

It's not like I have anything against action movies or anyone else: it's the fact how something derivative can make such a success in the face of something better and more original. Bob's the same way. We play to our biases plain and simple, and at least I can be willing to admit it.

Something tells me this flame war is gonna keep going for a while know: this is gonna be bigger than his Halo Legends review. Way to go, Bob.

Movie Bob, kudos. It needed to be said. I dont care what any of the other people have here have to say, this movie was tailored to the mouth-breathers who make up the movie going crowd; ya know, the ones that enjoyed the most recent "Fast and Furious".

Cinema is better off without this movie, and I see why Movie Bob gave it a scathing review. The characters were just bad. The plot was just bad. The action was mediocre at best. The only reason is sold is because of the list of actors it boasts.

I honestly believe people only liked this movie because:

A. They have a horrible taste in movies. Some might see this as an opinion, but there wrong.

or

B. They liked the movie because of how saturated it was with action stars, which gave them a flash of nestalgia and "omg this is badass Jet Li + Stalone manly <3"

Cinema has many purposes. It is there to entertain us: movies like The A Team do this. They incorperate decent action, and the characters personalities and actors just make it work. Its there to bring a message: District 9 had aliens exploding into puddles AND had a message. Movies can teach us about life and emotions: Scott Pilgrim analyzed relationships fairly deeply, and was extremely entertaining. It could have been done better, but it was vastly superior to this drivel. The Expendables failed to entertain; it had no "OH SHIT" moments, and bland action. It had no meaning, it was a bunch of retired action starts getting sweaty. It didnt teach us important life lessons. It only existed for nestalgia. And thats it. And it wasnt that good.

MovieBob, I agree 100% with your review.

Huh... I thought it would be better, may rent it just to be safe, after all I do kinda hate the whole "coreography" (read as wire-fu) fad that has been sweeping action films of late. Well okay I'll be fair, I dislike "wire-fu" when the context for it doesn't make sense. Like the Matrix can get away with it because it's a computer simulation (read as The Musroom Kingdom Laws of Physics) however when Hero did it I hated it... a lot.

But still one question, what the hell's so bad about Ted Nugent, I like his music a whole lot. No I don't really know much about him as a person, but he did fire a heavy machine gun in a combat zone, which to me spells King of Awesome... But then again I wish I lived in the Imperium, and was an inquisitor, so.

Wow Bob......just wow.

This was hard to sit through.
It wasn't the most artistic thing in the world.
So what.

It had some bad Acting.
So what.

It wasn't Scott Pilgrim.
So Fucking what.

It was an excellent action movie with a decent premise that is enjoyable to many people, especially those who like Gore Heavy Action Films.
And this movie DID have a nice amount of Gore.

Body parts being blown off by Auto Shot Guns?
Knives to almost every part of the body?
Body parts being sliced off with Bowie Knives?
Kaboom?
It had it all AND a nice simple story with a surprisingly moving look at Mercenarys.

Im disappointed MovieBob.
Very Disappointed.
And since when did i become a sheep for wanting to see something i though was interesting?
Your insults were way out of line.

EDIT:And we get it, you don't like Hunters and Rednecks.
Grow up.

hey Im not a sheep, I didn't see this movie! Also why do the 8 extra reasons make DOA movie better? Seriously please stop putting reminders that you appreciate womens' bodies. We get it, you are heterosexual.

Oh wow... Geez... I didn't expect the movie to be that bad, or bad at all... Thanks for the heads up, now I'm gonna seen Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.

Holy crap that rage was actually palpable. I can't wait for Scott Pilgrim to show up here :p.

I'm a little surprised you didn't comment on how clear it was that Stallone literally wrote the thing for himself.

And he's obviously not a very smart fellow.

So yeah, that could be a pretty big reason why it sucked.

bah, MovieBob has gone downhill. I don't mind him slating films that don't include him in its target market, I don't mind him creaming himself over pseudo-intellectual geek films such as Scott Pilgrim and the crap Tarintino has been secreting since the turn of the century, but now damning not just the films that push his preferred films slowly out of the Box Office but also the move-going public? Nah, getting beyond a joke here. This isn't Transformers.

IronStorm9:

Hubilub:

IronStorm9:
He's not insulting the people who like the movie.

Yes he is! Actually, it's worse. He's insulting people who like the movie's premise.

And even then, how the hell does saying that Stallone is cashing in on this film makes sense? Stallone is one of the most respectable directors out there, he's the last person to do a movie simply for a cash-in

But that's just what the movie was. It had no substance, you could switch the actors in and out and no one could tell the difference, and two of the best 80s movies actors (Willis and Schwarzenegger) only get cameos. I saw an interview with Stallone on TV and he said he only picked them because he thought they were pathetically imitating him and he made several comments along the lines of "They're over the hill".

Actually, have you seen Stallone and Lundgren's comments about current action movies including superhero films? I have rarely seen comments as insecure as these:

http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/movie-talk-sylvester-stallone-blames-batman.html

http://www.comicbookmovie.com/fansites/BrentSprecher/news/?a=14952

Wow, just WOW. It's especially sad since Stallone had enormous potential as an ACTOR and tried to be an action star to which Arnie beat him down at every step of the way.

I first saw the trailers and I though. "Eh, maybe I'll see it sometime after Scott Pilgrim vs. The World but now I'm glad I missed it very much. I've seen way to many comments from friends about how great Scot Pilgrim vs. The World is and I don't think even one person made any kind of positive comment on The Expendables yet. This is like some serious paradox that I believe over time will be fixed.

Loved Scott Pilgrim, loved expendables, loved the memorable kills in it aswell. I saw the movie in a full house and the crowd were going nuts at various points, first reviewive ever seen that made me think.."did this guy actually watch the movie"?

Oh for crying out loud people, you're all acting like MovieBob plowed your mum's beanfield or something.

So you already went to see the movie and enjoyed it. Good for you, I'm glad to see you had fun and that your 15 bucks was well spent. However, it is only your opinion and MovieBob has the right to have his own. I agree that the nerd rage was largely unnecessary and the review doesn't have the usual high excellence, but he saw how an average 90s style action flick attracted a larger audience than an original piece of work that did something different and now he's having a little crisis in the 'faith in humanity' department. It's not very hard to relate to, we all have a little passion we sometimes get worked up about.

For example, I truly and deeply love the first two X-COMs and it makes me so sad to see developers are willing to take a long shit on the spirit of the games and their original creatpr simply to milk more cash out of the little FPS faggots who wouldn't even touch the game if the main character wesn't a gun hovering in air. I am looking at you 2K, you shameless whores.

Anyhoo, please cut MovieBob some slack, he deserves the right to vent a little every now and then just like everyone else.

Eicha:
Well, nobody saw THAT coming. NAAAAT.

Hahaha, I did NAAAHT.

Also: this movie seemed pretty shit anyway. I haven't got a clue what Scott Pilgrim is about, but I suppose I'd better check that one out.

standokan:
Thank you MovieBob for putting the expendebles where they belong, six feet under the ground.

He didn't bury them he just raged impotently against the film because it pissed all over his preferred niche market film at the box office.

Hubilub:
I'm going to call it:

MovieBob is a hypocrite.

He complains that the people on earth are sheep following the word of the media and that we need to make our own decisions. BULLSHIT. That's not what he wants. He wants to be the one the sheep follow! That's why he's frustrated right now. A majority of people don't do what he thinks they should do, so he claims that they are sheep. What, so if we follow your word and just watch Scott Pilgrim instead of the Expendables we're not sheep?

Does he realize that Scott Pilgrim isn't AT ALL as appealing as The Expendables? Does he realize that Scott Pilgrim is aimed for a much smaller audience than the Expendables? If he doesn't, he's a moron. If he does, then he is frustrated because people won't go to see a film not meant for them, which, again, shows how he wants everyone to be his sheep, following his words. Anyone who doesn't? In Bob's eyes, they are the sheep of the media, explosion hungry idiots who don't deserve to watch films.

He's even worse than fucking Yahtzee! Yahtzee at least doesn't pretend to be anything else than someone who insults people that don't agree with him. Bob tries to make himself look like a god amongst nerds we all should follow, and when we don't, he starts to whine.

I feel the need to echo other people's (Hubilub's, mainly) statements and call MovieBob out on his elitism. I have not personally seen any movie in a really really long time - but it's pretty obvious that today's "review" was all about irrational hate. I'd go as far as to say "he's not like himself". But seriously, for someone who constantly demands from us all to stop being elitist nerds, there's way too much hate on the so-called "jocks" and "sheeple".

The Expendables may be total shite, or it may not - either way, Bob is not a reviewer or even a critic towards it, he's just hater. Which is not okay for someone who claims to be a reviewer or a critic.

IronStorm9:

Hubilub:

IronStorm9:
He's not insulting the people who like the movie.

Yes he is! Actually, it's worse. He's insulting people who like the movie's premise.

And even then, how the hell does saying that Stallone is cashing in on this film makes sense? Stallone is one of the most respectable directors out there, he's the last person to do a movie simply for a cash-in

But that's just what the movie was. It had no substance, you could switch the actors in and out and no one could tell the difference, and two of the best 80s movies actors (Willis and Schwarzenegger) only get cameos. I saw an interview with Stallone on TV and he said he only picked them because he thought they were pathetically imitating him and he made several comments along the lines of "They're over the hill".

No, the film is not a cash-in. The movie was a dumb action-film, but that doesn't make it a cash-in.

"Cash-in" is a word people throw around when they want to have a reason to hate a film that isn't purely subjective. This is not a cash-in. This is supposed to be a dream come true for many people. The people who made this film had fun, and they love this film. They also like to jokingly insult each other, which is where Stallone's "imitating" claim came from.

I only have one thing to say about this review:

According to Bob, if you see this movie you are a part of a bunch of mindless sheep.

What is your message to the people who will now mindlessly go watch Scott Pilgrim instead of the expendables because YOU told them to?

I wonder what hurts him more, the fact that The Expendables is a success and Pilgrim is not, or the fact that his opinion proved to be totally irrelevant to most people.

Oh man, that was some of the best nerd rage I've heard in a really long time...no wait I take that back. I heard lots of nerd rage with the air bender movie.

Reviews for shitty movies are fun; we get to watch Bob show his darker side.

I was on the fence about this. Now im not. thank you. Scott pilgrim, here i come again.

Ekonk:

Eicha:
Well, nobody saw THAT coming. NAAAAT.

Hahaha, I did NAAAHT.

... O HAI MARK

I really hope you were meaning to make a The Room reference

According to these comments, you're only allowed to insult your viewers and go on a tirade about something you intensely dislike if your name starts with a "Y" and rhymes with "Nazi"; anybody else is a pretentious, elitist critic that totally blew his cool and jumped the shark at the same time. Seeing as how I'm not a sheep, I'm going to agree with all of them with neither question or reason. I mean, shit, why can't you just be a REAL reviewer, MovieBob, and actually do your job by making sure that your opinions and views coincide perfectly with mine?

Remember, you're not allowed to be frustrated about the box-office success of this movie indicating that we're going to continue on the cycle of creative, risky films being shunted in favor of brainless action flicks, because that would make you pretentious. Seriously, dude, that would make you almost as pretentious as a gamer that complains about how much they hate Call of Duty and Halo and everybody that plays them is too stupid and happy with their bland blandness to understand the complex beauty of a lovingly-crafted RPG that likely won't see a sequel because it's getting stomped to death by the competition... and let me tell you something, buster: you sure as shit won't find anybody like that, here.

Furthermore, how dare you take your job seriously by watching a film with an analytical, deconstructive mindset when the basis of your Escapist series is analyzing and deconstructing movies for our enjoyment? We don't want you to call out a movie's self-described style as being bullshit; we just want you to sit still for two hours, forget everything you know about everything, allow your eyes to glaze over, and when the movie is over, go home and make a full-length review that consists of the words "MOVIE GOOD" emblazoned over a fireworks display that makes fart noises instead of booms, for five solid minutes.

Lastly, just because people like to go slack-jawed while staring a screen full of explosions, bright colors and loud noises, doesn't mean you're better than them, so let me be the first one of many to say: throw away that TP and start wiping your ass with your hand, because we're all doing it, and the majority is always right, you arrogant jerk.

BAAAAA-AAA-AA-AA-AAA-AAAAAAH!

Wow, this looks like the biggest fan backlash sense Yatzee reviewed Brawl, if not bigger. Except this time bob's review was consistent with other critics. Come on people this is the guy who liked 2012, he likes corny movies, but he's saying this movie didn't make that mark.

Hubilub:

Ekonk:

Eicha:
Well, nobody saw THAT coming. NAAAAT.

Hahaha, I did NAAAHT.

... O HAI MARK

I really hope you were meaning to make a The Room reference

O HAI HUBILUB. Yeah, I was. Best movie evar.

FargoDog:
And yet I'm still going to see it.

Good for you. Bob is right that this movie won't matter in 5 years, but with a few exceptions it delivers what it's advertised well enough. Sly tried to add a dramatic scene which Rourke delivers great, but is out of place and very "tried". The action was something I complained about, as it was not as bad as Transformers, but did look like it was shot so they could cut corners. It was nostalgia, it was some fairly mindless entertainment. It was meaningless, but fun.

Hubilub:

IronStorm9:

Hubilub:

IronStorm9:
He's not insulting the people who like the movie.

Yes he is! Actually, it's worse. He's insulting people who like the movie's premise.

And even then, how the hell does saying that Stallone is cashing in on this film makes sense? Stallone is one of the most respectable directors out there, he's the last person to do a movie simply for a cash-in

But that's just what the movie was. It had no substance, you could switch the actors in and out and no one could tell the difference, and two of the best 80s movies actors (Willis and Schwarzenegger) only get cameos. I saw an interview with Stallone on TV and he said he only picked them because he thought they were pathetically imitating him and he made several comments along the lines of "They're over the hill".

No, the film is not a cash-in. The movie was a dumb action-film, but that doesn't make it a cash-in.

"Cash-in" is a word people throw around when they want to have a reason to hate a film that isn't purely subjective. This is not a cash-in. This is supposed to be a dream come true for many people. The people who made this film had fun, and they love this film. They also like to jokingly insult each other, which is where Stallone's "imitating" claim came from.

The point that I am trying to make with that statement is that he wanted to be the star of the movie. Normally I'm not against that (Clint Eastwood did a very good job starring in his own movies) but when you don't give anyone besides yourself good lines, that crosses into author-self-insertion territory.

Cocamaster:

I wonder what hurts him more, the fact that The Expendables is a success and Pilgrim is not, or the fact that his opinion proved to be totally irrelevant to most people.

Obviously the former, if it was the latter then he would be an idiot. If Obama, Nelson Mandela and the spirit of Gandhi came out and called a press conference to say this film sucked then it wouldn't have any impact on ticket sales. Marketing and word-of-mouth matter more than whatever the critics says.

Even if you absolutely hate a movie I'd say you're better served to use examples to make your points rather than calling people stupid for liking it. Explain why it fails even as a braindead action movie rather than calling people braindead and, by extention, seeming braindead.

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