Critical Miss: #28

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#28

The fight for equality is never without casualties.

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But if you judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover...that's a good thing. Danny Glover was funny. And he's getting too old for this shit.

That said, so the lore of 40K really does have no females in the marines? I don't follow the series, so...

I bet that last panel is a reference to something that I would have understood had I ever played Starcraft and not just read the comics. It was still funny, though.

Edit: Okay, maybe the reason I didn't get it is because it's not Starcraft, it's Wahammer 40k. Clearly stated. Well, I'm an idiot.

Heh, been in the middle of that arguement is always a dangerous place to be...

Onyx Oblivion:
But if you judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover...that's a good thing. Danny Glover was funny. And he's getting too old for this shit.

That said, so the lore of 40K really does have no females in the marines? I don't follow the series, so...

Technically there are the Sisters of Battle, but they root out heretics, rogue psykers and the like. You know, those who oppose the EMPRAH!

This is the first Critical Miss I can say I didn't get.. Then again, I know nothing about 4OK or MMO's in general.

Meh, what do SPESS MEHRENS matter, we have the Adeptus Sororitas.
Cleanse it with fire, then burn the remains with more fire, then burn the ashes, then roll burning tires across the dust.
Then burn the planet from orbit.

I hadn't even thought of this, but yeah...still, Warhammer Online pulled it off.

Oh, and funny comic, too. :P Critical Miss is a bit Critical Hit-or-Miss (*ducks*) at times, but always worth reading.

Well the sisters of battle are around and I'm sure they can shoehorn some all female orders into the Marines this is the 40 thousandth century surely equal rights have permitted the induction of females

Also aren't the Eldar a matriarchal society? plenty of ladeez for the game

Brnin8:

Onyx Oblivion:
But if you judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover...that's a good thing. Danny Glover was funny. And he's getting too old for this shit.

That said, so the lore of 40K really does have no females in the marines? I don't follow the series, so...

Technically there are the Sisters of Battle, but they root out heretics, rogue psykers and the like. You know, those who oppose the EMPRAH!

You know, I think just having Sisters of Battle and classing them as female space marines might actually cause more problems (I.e. Beserk fanboyism) than just allowing female space marines.

Greyfox105:
Meh, what do SPESS MEHRENS matter, we have the Adeptus Sororitas.
Cleanse it with fire, then burn the remains with more fire, then burn the ashes, then roll burning tires across the dust.
Then burn the planet from orbit.

True, but then every time I read about the Sisters of Battle I always think they make up for everything they're lacking by being overly zealous about purification. And stuff.

Onyx Oblivion:
But if you judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover...that's a good thing. Danny Glover was funny. And he's getting too old for this shit.

I must be missing something... But what in blazes does Danny Glover and Lethal Weapon have to do with this comic strip??? That aside, I liked this one.

Greyfox105:
Then burn the planet from orbit.

I'd say that's the job of the inquisition.

The only thing this comic was missing was a third faction, clothed in bright green and yelling "Waaagh!" instead of "Waaaah!". Because we all know, the Orks are the real most awesomest faction in 40k.

Queen Michael:
I bet that last panel is a reference to something that I would have understood had I ever played Starcraft and not just read the comics. It was still funny, though.

No, in 40k, humanity uses warp drives to enter The Warp (Used for FTL travel), an area that is comprised of pure chaos. To protect the ship inside from the denizens of the warp, a bubble of real space is constructed before entering The Warp. This is known as a Gellar field.
"Recite the Litanies" is a reference to Techpriests, who have elevated technology to a religion.
Techpriests are in charge of preforming anything involving complex technology, and because of the religious-like knowledge of said technology, any activity surrounding constructing to activating etc. has a series of prayers and rituals.

yeah the SoB (hahaha i just notice that acronym XD) would make a welcome addition. Plus i think the Orks would have a problem. I think they just pop out of the ground cause for the life of me i've never read about a female ork.

and WH40K MMO?!?!?! WAHT!?

P.S. Don't the Sisters of Battle have the same 2 hitpoints all Space marines have and the same firing accuracy with Bolters? and the fact they can use Bolters not as Heavy weapons mean they are Space Marines?

Sisters of Battle Seraphim are ****ing awesome. The boys can have their silly marines.

Well... there's always the Sisters of Battle.

Also, you made a typo. I'll fix that for you:

*WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

itf cho:

Onyx Oblivion:
But if you judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover...that's a good thing. Danny Glover was funny. And he's getting too old for this shit.

I must be missing something... But what in blazes does Danny Glover and Lethal Weapon have to do with this comic strip??? That aside, I liked this one.

Read the text outside of the strip itself...

You quarrel about them SPACE MARINES, I go and roll a Howling Banshee or Ranger.

Oh by the Goldren Throne they better not shoe horn in female space marines or Emperor forbid male sisters of battle...

Great just what we need. More space marines to remind folks like Marcus Pheonix that they aren't special little flowers, make them all emo and cut themselves with their chainsaw bayonets...

Never mind that's a great idea. Besides all this stuff is just a knockoff of epic European poetry anyways.

The next question I have is. What are we going to do with all the MMO trolls making fun of teh Spesh Marines for being a all-man-group... Oh right rip their faces off with a chainsword. Fun times.

Onyx Oblivion:

itf cho:

Onyx Oblivion:
But if you judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover...that's a good thing. Danny Glover was funny. And he's getting too old for this shit.

I must be missing something... But what in blazes does Danny Glover and Lethal Weapon have to do with this comic strip??? That aside, I liked this one.

Read the text outside of the strip itself...

Ah-hah - Thanks.

Sisters of Battle can wear power armour and use bolters. But humans can too, Guard officers use boltpistols and 'normal' inqusitors wear power armour. The difference is just that stuff is not as good as the Astartes persay. Marines are genetically enhanced and wear a special body suit to fully interact with all the systems of the power armour. Humans of both genders will also wear a body suit and have some implants so they can actually move in the suit but cannot use all of its features.

Because of that, most of the Marine features are not built in. Like helmets (sometimes) HUDs, increased speed and strength and the ability to survive in a vacumn. However it is still a nearly invincible suit of Adamantium and Ceramite.

So you can tell I'm a fanboy, so I loved the Gellar field reference. And I can see that problem happening among, you know, idiots ... which can be a lot of MMO players.

ONLY IN DEATH DOES DUTY END! FOR THE EMPEROR!

DTWolfwood:

P.S. Don't the Sisters of Battle have the same 2 hitpoints all Space marines have and the same firing accuracy with Bolters? and the fact they can use Bolters not as Heavy weapons mean they are Space Marines?

Nope space marines go through rigorous training and genetic modification to the point that they are hardly human anymore (they still look relatively human) Sisters of battle do not go through genetic modification (they might go through good training though nowhere on the level of space marines).

Betancore:
-All Hail Britannia Snip-
True, but then every time I read about the Sisters of Battle I always think they make up for everything they're lacking by being overly zealous about purification. And stuff.

The source of their power is their faith. Whereas the Astartes rely mostly on tech, the Sororitas rely on tech, and their unbreakable faith.
And it does the job >.> They get little miracles granted by the Emperor, or various saints >.>
They are zealous, because if they keep believing, then their prayers are answered >.>
Plus, a prerequisite to join them is to be a pyromaniac.
>.>
<.<

Always nice to see something that's being parodied in a webcomic being ENACTED ENTIRELY BY THE PEOPLE IN THE FORUMS.

Seriously, this exact same thing happens every single time Yahtzee insults a fanbase as well, it's tedious to the extreme.

Well the Marine rely on faith too but yeah, Sisters do pray and get special Emperor magic.

I have a feeling that is going to be a serious problem. I personally love the 40K Fluff, it makes great books and is a fun universe to write in. Now I am not a huge fanboy (well maybe a little bit) but I will not be happy at any attempt to rewrite the lore so that space marines can be female, this isn't me being sexist or anything, it just doesn't work (God forbid that they make one of the lost legions an all female legion). In the same vein as you can't have male sisters of battle. All orks are asexual so they are not a problem.

I just want to role my aplha+ psykic inquistor with the power to dissolve entire cities with the power of my mind (although knowing my luck that won't be a playable faction neither will the grey knights, nor any of the officio assassinorum and I severely doubt I'll get a chance to play as a titan princeps).

Canadian Briton:

DTWolfwood:

P.S. Don't the Sisters of Battle have the same 2 hitpoints all Space marines have and the same firing accuracy with Bolters? and the fact they can use Bolters not as Heavy weapons mean they are Space Marines?

Nope space marines go through rigorous training and genetic modification to the point that they are hardly human anymore (they still look relatively human) Sisters of battle do not go through genetic modification (they might go through good training though nowhere on the level of space marines).

well regardless of the lore, i remember they have the same stats as Space Marines. Plus they share the same power armors ^-^ just one set actually has breast behind the breast(shape) plate. XD

Onyx Oblivion:
That said, so the lore of 40K really does have no females in the marines? I don't follow the series, so...

Space Marines in 40K aren't just marines, in space - they're genetically modified superhumans, modeled after the genetic template of the Emperor himself. The augmentation process requires that it be started young, like no older than 14, if there's going to be any real chance of success, and the process renders marines functionally immortal (in that they don't die of old age, whether they would if given enough time is unknown because marines tend to die violently). Space Marines are pretty much a separate species, only they can't procreate. So no, there are no female marines.

As others have pointed out, there's an entire faction of power armor wearing religious fanatics that's exclusively female, and women can certainly be in the guard, the inquisition, assassins, etc, so it's not like guys get to do all the fighting. There just aren't any female marines, and most 40K fans think that suggesting there could be is every bit as stupid as trying to gin up something like say... male amazonian warriors; there are some things you just do not do.

DTWolfwood:
Plus i think the Orks would have a problem. I think they just pop out of the ground cause for the life of me i've never read about a female ork.

P.S. Don't the Sisters of Battle have the same 2 hitpoints all Space marines have and the same firing accuracy with Bolters? and the fact they can use Bolters not as Heavy weapons mean they are Space Marines?

That's because there aren't any - in the old old fluff there were, but Games Workshop revised the orks to be partly fungal organisms who reproduce via spores (the details are actually quite fascinating, as the same spores that produce orks also produce all the other orkoid forms - they're essentially their own traveling hard to root out ecosystem). So all orks look male, but are actually asexual. I suggest any ladies inclined to roll one up can deal with it.

As for stats meaning equality, table top stats have relatively little to nothing to do with the actual fluff - it's a game, and games need to be balanced. In-universe they're just a fanatical order of warrior-nuns wearing power armor and burning stuff; marines have the Black Carapace, they don't wear armor so much as it becomes an extension of their very body. Also they're superhuman even without the armor, and the Sororitas are normal non-augmented women for the most part.

crotalidian:
Well the sisters of battle are around and I'm sure they can shoehorn some all female orders into the Marines this is the 40 thousandth century surely equal rights have permitted the induction of females

Also aren't the Eldar a matriarchal society? plenty of ladeez for the game

No no no no no no no no no no no a thousand times NO. They cannot shoehorn them in because they do not exist, the process by which Space Marines are created doesn't work on women.

The idea that we actually need to have female marines to balance things out is silly - a female Calidus assassin is far more deadly than a single marine, women can kick ass with the best of them in 40K.

And no, the Eldar are not a matriarchal society. Most of the various 'roles' you'd find Eldar in are open to males or females, but even they have their own exclusive factions - Howling Banshees anyone?

Danzaivar:

You know, I think just having Sisters of Battle and classing them as female space marines might actually cause more problems (I.e. Beserk fanboyism) than just allowing female space marines.

I rather doubt that - in table top terms their stats are all but identical, I really don't see 40K fans making a stink about the Adepta Sororitas being functionally like marines (for the most part, there should be obvious factional differences but the baseline stats could be mostly the same and we probably wouldn't care). Allowing female space marines will definitely cause an uproar, because most fans are going to see that as changing things for no damn reason - it's not like you can't find women in literally any other imperial organization!

BiscuitTrouser:
I dont realy see the issue here, they could get away with combining these factions into "servants of the emperor" and letting people roll space marines or battle sisters. Basically same thing different name. And whats in a name.

Considering I find that entire notion heretical, no they could bloody well not. You can make battle sisters just as good in-game terms as marines, and fanatical 40K fans won't care (I should know, I am a fanatical 40K fan). You CANNOT slap them together and call them two parts of "Servants of the Emperor" - Space Marine chapters and Battle Sister orders are not the same thing at all. True, both organizations serve the Emperor, but the Sororitas are the militant arm of the Ecclesiarchy, and the Astartes are an independent imperial organization in their own right, beholden to no one save the Emperor himself (in theory, in actual practice they have to play nice with others because they rely on the Mechanicus and whatnot). You could create an in-game category called that with clear explanation that the two possible selections are not in fact part of the same group, but actually combining them is grounds for being declared Excommunicate Traitorus, just like adding in female marines would be.

ironduke88:
I just want to role my aplha+ psykic inquistor with the power to dissolve entire cities with the power of my mind (although knowing my luck that won't be a playable faction).

Not to burst your bubble, but even supposing the Inquisition is a playable faction, the human mind doesn't seem to be able to handle psychic potential past Beta while remaining sane; essentially all Alpha level psykers are nutjobs, and Alpha+ psykers even more so. Not really going to find them as inquisitors for that reason.

Seems like Cory Rydell and Grey Carter are fans of Scroobius Pip, kudos to you cool cats.

Onyx Oblivion:
But if you judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover...that's a good thing. Danny Glover was funny. And he's getting too old for this shit.

That said, so the lore of 40K really does have no females in the marines? I don't follow the series, so...

It does but they arnt literally "space marines". Imagine a warrior priest thats a space marine in all but name reserved only for females. I dont realy see the issue here, they could get away with combining these factions into "servants of the emperor" and letting people roll space marines or battle sisters. Basically same thing different name. And whats in a name.

Warhammer online had no female orks. no one complained there. It was as it was.

I hate being that guy but the comic forgot about sororitas. There are female space marines. They just are not called space marines. Battle sisters. Basically no difference

only 40K game I care about is warhammer: space marines. and what RockPaperShotgun.com commented on it ultramarines are genetically altered supermales who are castrated. I don't give a care about the rest as long as it's a reckless disregard of cover system.

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