Zero Punctuation: Transformers: War for Cybertron

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Every single thing Yahtzee sais in this video goes strait over my head.
Every. Single. Thing.

I DIDN'T SEE A SINGLE PENIS JOKE O_O

Not a bad thing but DANG that was unexpected

Very funny.

After kind of liking the first film, that one quote about le bouf made me realise just how terrible it was.

Ah well.

i actually share the memories of b/w eastern european cartoons....yeah, the upsides of growing up in cold war europe...

Frankly I have already played the game and I will say that I liked the game, it's the transformers equivalent to Arkham Asylum, being that it is the first game with the license in recent memory that doesn't suck! As far as the nostalgia factor is I never saw the old cartoons, I did grow up enjoying the toys and I was a fan of the franchise, so yeah I enjoyed the game and your review is irrelevant to those who fell the same as me. (I've learned to take almost none of yahtzee's reviews seriously, you know how it's gonna go, it will range from "meh" to "This is a game that I don't like" with few exceptions to the rules)

Mangue Surfer:
Hun?! I don't get it... seriously. Old games like MDK, Heretic 2 or Heavy Metal have the same setup from time to time. Imply that this has something to do with Gears of War's stuff make no sense to me.

Well, the crate thing was more them winking at the tropes of shooters in general.

But the prevalence of convenient cover, spaced just so that you can hop from one spot to the next, the squad-based gameplay, and of course it used the same engine as Gears.

I'd bring up Escalation (i.e. Horde, w/robots!), but your original comment was in fact about "cover shooters", not Gears of War specifically.

XSA37:
You know Yahtzee, normally I love most of what you do, but I really didn't like this. It felt bland and just a little bit old. It just seems like this was a rehashing of reviews you have done before with some new words thrown in here and there along with pictures.

Just like the Transformers game! Neat.

What got on my goat is that this was meant to be the origin story for a lot of the characters, how they met, how they came to power ect. Then they ALL keep referring to things in the past that NEVER HAPPEN INGAME, as if they were the more defining points that led to the current situation. And that happens a good few times. I just remember thinking why could they not have had this game number 2 and made an actual origins game? Or at least not harp on about stuff that never gets fleshed out or even explained.

I had a transformer when I was 10. It cost $50 bucks and I had to save up for weeks. As soon as I got it I tryed playing with it. I broke my fingers and snaped in half. Fuck you transformers.

I belive this Transformers game were great, the greatest TF game so far... by far! The only negative thing about it if you ask me are the leaders in multiplayer... their buff called Warcry is way overpowered.

Mcoffey:

XSA37:
You know Yahtzee, normally I love most of what you do, but I really didn't like this. It felt bland and just a little bit old. It just seems like this was a rehashing of reviews you have done before with some new words thrown in here and there along with pictures.

Just like the Transformers game! Neat.

I bet that was intentional.

I can openly admit I'm a big fan of old-school Transformers. I enjoyed the Michael Bay movies as crap with pretty special effects, and I appreciate that the basics of this game's story do boil down to a fairly "been there, done that" style, but I DON'T see it as a cover-based shooter. If you transform a lot and experiment with the difference between vehicle and robot forms, it starts to feel much more fluid and dynamic.

Played on higher difficulty (or in multiplayer) the game is more about mobility and position than about hiding behind conveniently-placed metal boxes. Of course, I was only starting to get that when I went into multiplayer, which really hammers that aspect of the gameplay into you. Also, multiplayer lets you customise your characters, which is nice. Shame they don't have an offline skirmish mode. That USED to be common for games with multiplayer which plays so much differently from the standard campaign mode. And would have been better than the actual campaign. Much as I enjoyed the appropriately bad story and dialogue, I'd prefer deathmatch with bots for longevity. Or at least the option of it.

Also doesn't help that even if he wanted to, with only a week to review the game, Yahtzee wouldn't see a single round in multiplayer any more.

Giganticus:
I belive this Transformers game were great, the greatest TF game so far... by far! The only negative thing about it if you ask me are the leaders in multiplayer... their buff called Warcry is way overpowered.

And you're wrong. Different players do better as different characters. I can barely hold my own as a leader, Warcry is balanced in team matches, and the other abilities are much better in deathmatch.

Last comment I'm making.... I seem to be the only person who didn't have trouble picking enemies and friends out against the landscape. Weird...

EDIT:

mattaui:
Now on the subject of giant robots, when are we getting some more delicious Battletech action? There's a franchise in dire need of some love.

Seconded. Unless it's more of the travesty that occurred after Mechwarrior 3. (Hint: There is no Mechwarrior 4. You won't prove me wrong until they give me back my Mad Dog-D. And fix several 'Mech designs)

101194:

Ricky Cabrera:
this is just to make the "FIRST!!" people cry

Clever.

ZP:

Clever, But mean. Half of us grew up on transformers no reason to diss the entire series just for one game.

To be honest, if I hadn't watched the movies growing up, I'd assume the very same. I recently re-bought the first season and three episodes in I was wondering "I watched this shit?! WHY!?"

Like in the second transformers movie when all the appliances came to life and I thought "Taking it a tad far? Really?" I quit this game on the second level because of the problems he mentioned with flying... You ground your way along walls to move around....

Having grown up with transformers, I can appreciate his humor all the more say "Yahtzee, you snide bastard you. Good job!"

Not bad. But he needs to review Victoria 2 for some lols xD

Spot. Fucking. On.
Fuck Transformers. I've known that since I was five. Thank you for codifying why Shia LeBouf is so hateable, besides having a name that looks like French vomit. And that Pavarotti shit was FUNNY.

Good man Yahtzee. I love Transformers, but I will agree that all Transformers games I've ever played have been Universal Shit. :)

Movie crossover videogames are seldom worth even the effort of reviewing. Its merchandising, you should pick this swill up with the transformers t shirts, action figures, and megatron transforming fleshlights. The arkham asylum game is one recent example of an exception to this rule, and we applaud EA for delaying its release for what, a year? while they finished the game.

lately yahtzee the nazi has been posting very boring uninteresting games and their reviews (well imo) anyway... not that I'm angry with him or want him to "get his shit together"...

I just personally find those particular games boring and hence the reviews too.. but that's normal isn't it ? :P
who cares about me anyway.. i'm just a rusted leaf drifting off in the distance...

a terrible terrible game from some awful awful movies

Transformer toys kicked ass though! They were like action figures that were also puzzles!

and I didn't watch transformers growing up... I watched BEAST WARS! :D

I'm surprised there's someone out there with a more unhealthy hatred for Shia than me.

It was the 80's most people wouldn't understand and Prime dying was major as a kid. But Apollo Creed in Rocky 4 was worse. And as far as it being a cash grab to sell toys yeah it was... But at least we had better Cartoons in the 80's then the kids did in the 90's or even today. I watch some of the crap today and scratch my freaking head.

I don't understand how Yahtzee can go into a two-minute diatribe about exactly why Transformers fans are stupid mindless drones who can't see past their own nostalgia when he himself admits that he didn't know anything about Transformers. How can you be in any position to say what a franchise is and why fans are fools, when you admit you barely know anything about it? Very poor argument, and it comes across less like an actual point and more like unwarranted bitching about people liking something and you can't understand why, therefore you simply ascribe it to nostalgia and leave it at that.

Transformers has persisted since the '80s - contrary to popular perception, there hasn't been a time when Transformers has "gone away" like so many other '80s franchises - because there is something in the property that resonates. Not being able to understand what that is does not mean it's nostalgia and nothing else. If it was purely about selling toys, then it would've just gone the way of Dino-Riders, MASK and The Visionaries. Clearly there was something else at work here.

Transformers fiction started off as a way To Sell Toys to children. The series had rudimentary characters, but they were identifiable and memorable. It's a kid's show, after all. That doesn't mean it had to stay that way: with the G1 Marvel Comics and Beast Wars, Transformers started to add breadth and depth to their characters. They started to actually explain why they Transform, why they look humanoid despite being alien, why their vehicle modes have compartments that seem to serve no purpose save to hold human-sized beings, why the robots are at war in the first place. Sometimes the bad guys won, sometimes a Transformer would switch sides, sometimes the good guys would do bad things while the bad guys do good things, there would be lengthy character and story arcs, hi-SF concepts, musings on the nature of good and evil. Sure, it isn't Bester or Asimov, but it's better SF than most of the kid's SF that was around at the time.

I also find it kind of weird for Yahtzee to support the idea of humans in Transformers, since the Transformers are apparently impossible to relate to - this, despite most Transformers fans finding the robots the best thing about it, and the human characters largely superfluous and redundant. I find that sort of thinking really rather unimaginative, personally: by that logic, one would have to have a human character to "relate to" in any *franchise* that features non-humans as the primary characters. Kind of like how they had a white American male as the protagonist in Avatar: it's lazy and insulting, to assume the audience has no way of relating to anything that isn't just like them.

Also, Prime dying was a big thing. Name a kid's tv show of the '80s where the heroic main character - among many others - died ten minutes into the film. Not that many, right? This was a time when you couldn't actually use the word "death" or "kill" in kid's shows, and the Transformers film had the face of the entire franchise die - and he didn't come back at the end. Sure he came back *later* but that's like diminishing the death of Spock in Star Trek II because we have the benefit of hindsight.

The game sounds mostly like an exercise in fanservice for the TV show audience and some of the comic fans, and I think it does a disservice to the good Transformers fiction to simply go for the lowest common denominator. If WfC did a bad job of giving Yahtzee to care about Transformers, then that's a terrible shame, since there's a lot in the Transformers mythos worth ruminating over beyond Giant Robots Blowing Shit Up.

is it me or is yahtzee short of breath, ideas and pisazz sounds like another eminem creation here getting fat and lazy no longer able for gettho shouts!

This would be the first time ive said anything about a review, i have no complaints about this, its more the reason they transform on their home planet was explained briefly in the classic (as in 1980s). They transform because originally the autobots used it as a form of disguise sinse they were apparently out matched in frontal combat, or so says the show. but im assuming after the decepticons learned of that it became just a common form of combat, sure it has flaws in the game where you could easily get past or to something by walking, but hey cuts time down and shuts up anyone that would complain that they didnt transform. I personally think the games fun to play every now and again, but hey thats my opinion and this review is yours

I get what he means about the size discrepancy thing. One of the bosses is this giant gun transformer that you spend about half a level flying through. You blow up the thing that allows to stay in its transformed mode, and you then fly out through its mouth. While you're flying out of it's mouth, its teeth are several times larger than you are. So this thing should be really huge right? But when you begin fighting it, it doesn't even look as you could fit inside its mouth anymore. I get that fighting something the size of lower Manhatten would be a pretty impossible task, but that's no excuse for it to suddenly shrink.

Giganticus:
I belive this Transformers game were great, the greatest TF game so far... by far! The only negative thing about it if you ask me are the leaders in multiplayer... their buff called Warcry is way overpowered.

That's not saying much considering 90% of Transformers games are crap.

Personally I didn't cry when Optimus died in that movie. I saved those tears for Beast Wars when Dinobot died after nearly tearing up the entire Predacon army single-handed.

I don't know much about transformers, but this has become one of my favorite recent ZP reviews! Awesome work Yahtzee!

I was and am still a fan of the 80's cartoon but in all honesty I rented this game and tried to get into it but it's true, it really is shit

Taranaich:
How can you be in any position to say what a franchise is and why fans are fools, when you admit you barely know anything about it? Very poor argument, and it comes across less like an actual point and more like unwarranted bitching about people liking something and you can't understand why, therefore you simply ascribe it to nostalgia and leave it at that.

Because you don't have to watch or understand Transformers to find statements like this from those who grew up with it:

Celtic_Kerr:
To be honest, if I hadn't watched the movies growing up, I'd assume the very same. I recently re-bought the first season and three episodes in I was wondering "I watched this shit?! WHY!?"

Like in the second transformers movie when all the appliances came to life and I thought "Taking it a tad far? Really?"

I never got into Transformers as a child, though the toys and the Beast Wars series did grab me. And I only went to see the first live-action Transformers film for the spectacle (only to be disappointed by too much of LaBeouf, Megan Fox's midriff, and the most disbelief-shattering product placement I have ever seen). Still, I can say I've felt this same "shock" when watching things I did grow up with, like Thundercats and the first TMNT series.

As I watched the milking-machine bit I smiled like a fool because I knew I was indeed attached to a few myself as a child, and as an adult I can indeed recognize that now.

I'm surprised to hear about all the people who like Beast Wars.
The 80's cartoon itself wasn't all that great, but the movie still holds up, IMO.

As for the game, I totally get why Yahtzee didn't like it, as it was a homage to the movie wrapped in a somewhat confused shell. The Transforming aspect was handled really well, though I didn't like the seperate jet levels all that much; they should have just made a jet character availiable in certain levels so that particular level would play out differently if you were a car or a jet. That would have added to the replay value, I think. The game was way too short, the special abilities in multiplayer are mostly really annoying, and the homogenizing of the weapons was something that didn't jive with me, but the visuals and the writing were absolutely amazing. WtC was too short to make a good buy, but it was a phenominal rental, and I for one enjoyed it immensely, a fiar bit more than I enjoyed Arkham Asylum, to be honest. :)

Sylocat:
I took one look at the title and thought, "Oh, this is going to be gruesome."

I was right.

yeah it was fantastically epic.....and gruesome too

I love transformers as a child but stopped caring after age 12, but I have a friend in his early 20s and ever since the movies came out he's been fascinated by them. He wasn't even around when they were on TV, hell I was just a pup when the reruns were on. Its really just like back in the 80s its just a gimmick to sell overpriced toys, movies, games and other merchandise to children/adults stuck in childhood.

I want a plushy of the fat imp at the start.

I just love the "fabulous purple" part. Good episode, the part where you talk about how the game had a chance to make you care about Transformers raises a good point. A similar argument can be made for hundreds of other games with creepy fanbases.

don't have time to read through eleven pages to check if anyone already did, so i'm going to point out the fact that the toy WfC impales in Yahtzee's eye is not a Transformer, though it can transform and was later remade as a G1 Transformer. it's a Valkyrie, a type of advanced jet plane (still piloted by humans) that could either grow legs and arms or go all the way and become a humanoid robot for fighting a race of collosal aliens that decended from the same space-fairing species that apparently humans descended from, from the extremely kickass anime series Super Dimensional Fortress Macross.

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