Zero Punctuation: Transformers: War for Cybertron

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wooty:
You know, as a Transformer fan, even I though this was hilarious. Good job this week.

Oh, btw, Primes death WAS this generations Othello, I'm now off to cry into my duvet covers.

Imma cling to this post since its the only light I have in this dark time.

I'm in a very tough place now Yathzee...I am probably one of the biggest TF fans out there, and I also love you...so im going to spam this thread with how much I hate you for dissing transformers....ugh can't do it, okay okay everything you said was 100% correct as always.
however...im going to cling to the hope that this game is made for the fans...and from a fans point of view the game is great.

Yeah, I never got into Transformers either. I was a Ghostbusters kid, now that's where it was at!

He he, good one!

Have a nice holiday Yahtzee.

Sylocat:
I took one look at the title and thought, "Oh, this is going to be gruesome."

I was right.

dito,
helps reduce the sting, of the unfavorable review of a game i beat a month ago, when i can see it coming a mile away

to Yahtzee (assuming you read this at all) the transformations while, yes an over gloried sprint button, still kicked as, turning into a TANK, and clearing a room with the canon was awesome.

some criticisms are valid, but then, it was really made for transformer fans, (not the bayformer fans thank GOD) by transformer fans, so you should know weather or not its your deal by JUST the title

But Jason Statham didn't do any stunt driving in Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels or Snatch D:

I'm quite a fan of Transformers, and I loved this game.

Yet, I was scared of watching this video. Simply because I knew Yahtzee would slate this game, and I'd laugh because he'd be fucking right about it.

It's no surprise that my fear was correct. You've done it again, Yahtzee, you charismatic stallion!

As a kid, I never liked Transformers. The thought of my dad's car transforming into a giant, building-crushing monster from hell terrified me to the point of tears as it was, why would I want to immerse myself in an entire franchise of just that kind of thing?

So I honestly probably didn't need to watch the movies or buy the video game(s?) to put a stopper in that bottle of premeditated decisions.

That I took the time to watch a video based around what is basically sheer destructive violence in the form of a critical review doesn't say anything about these decisions of mine, other than I like cheap laughs every now and again.

But I will say this in the franchise's defense: At least when I saw the movies, they were worth watching. And I don't mean that in a "cinematic graphics" or whatever the hell CG stands for kind of way, nor do I intend to base it off the soundtrack (bleeding out my ears to Linkin Park blasted at, what, 100 decibals is not a good way to end an afternoon... and I LIKE Linkin Park), I mean it was made with enough attention to the fact that not many people give a rat's ass about sappy backstories and go to see an action movie just for the action, and maybe sex if that's included in the previews, so at least Spielberg and Bay did that much right.

At this point, I think I'm just spouting incoherent babbling, so I'm just going to go back to my silent stalker self for a bit.

Eh, the only reason I was really intrested in this game was because I demolished people in multiplayer (no pun intended). Its a shame the campaign is lackluster, but its a game for fans, and if your a fan, your gonna get it reguardless and deny any fault. Hrm... now what web genius said that? XD

Captain Planet was waaaaaay cooler than Transformers.

I absolutely died laughing at 'Das Fatcow'. Some of your best work yet.

lol loved the game tbh as a TF fan and the other pickings suck, but agree on the rest :p

tbh it doesn't fill the proper nostalgia factors either since its another "reimagining" of things.

as for anything specific, the review was more about transformers than the game, and there IS more to the story (the war, Cybertron, the transforming/disguise thing, and megatrons butt hurt attitude), but without being some TF archivist of some sort most of us will never know the whole story i suppose.

to me they'll always just be the best advertised toyline of my childhood and i love'em for it :)

I'm a huge transformers fan, and I agree.

To put this into Yahztee terms: The original show was Silent Hill 1, 2 and 3. War for Cybertron was Silent Hill 5. Actually that's not fair; Shia Labeouf's movies were Silent Hill 5 bad, at least. War for Cybertron is worse. I don't know, maybe it's more like the cell phone games?

The point is that NO ONE, liked War for Cybertron. If anything it is due to nostalgia that we hate it; it has more to do with the crappy movies than the original series.

By the way, you should pull an AVGN. Less videos per month, but each one is of higher quality. Sorry to say, but you've been in a bit of a decline recently.

Ok, somebody needs to tell me who is that guy Yahtzee keeps showing pictures of in nearly every video. I'm talking about the disembodied face of some pasty faced man that looks seriously bored. Is that a picture of pre-facial hair Yahtzee or is this person unrelated. Anybody know what I'm talking about.

It was a funny 'review' Yahtzee. However much like your Smash Bros video, you just didn't really know what you were talking about. So I just have to let something like that slide.

And I love the game. It's fun. :P

Oh and btw since I do not want to disappoint, I will nerd out; Omega Supreme is supposed to sounds like that. He always has. He's supposed to be cold and emotionless.

I never liked Transformers. It always seemed to me like the poor persons robot anime. Of which there was millions.

The review is one of your best. And makies me think you and Bob should really have a big ole recorded discussion about Stathams acting style and everything in the Transformers franchise... including le-douche.

It would probably be an epic half hour. XD

I didn't like Transformers, but I didn't hat eit either to flame everyone who liked it. I just found it decent. But this review noted basically all the points I have for the movies and games, specially this one.

Oh, and I shall prepare a bloodbath if I need to entertain myself while you are out BTW.

EvilYoshi:
Ok, somebody needs to tell me who is that guy Yahtzee keeps showing pictures of in nearly every video. I'm talking about the disembodied face of some pasty faced man that looks seriously bored. Is that a picture of pre-facial hair Yahtzee or is this person unrelated. Anybody know what I'm talking about.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/pictures/image/0,8543,-11404347243,00.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Ruff

You know... any shooter that relies heavily on online multiplayer will get a bad review from Yahtzee.

Hey!
Snatch and Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels.

Jason Statham didn't fight or stunt drive in either of them.

I don't like it when a game messes up Robots and Aliens, I like them. This one has Alien Robots and apparently it's not that good?

D :

am i the only that think is review was totally pointless?
how long has the game been out? like........3 months?!
anyone who was gunna play this game WOULD'VE BY NOW!!!

this sketch was hilarious. i have the game, i am a transformers fanboy, so are my two brothers, who paid for the game, and are either playing it or watching G1 on the big Mac screen over youtube. there's a LOT of stuff yahtzee pointed out that i agree with, the visuals were a bit of a mess, unless you're flying, you're blending in with your surroundings. however, you can see fairly decent in multiplayer, just not so much in campaign.

although, i think he's wrong about the vehicle mode (to an extent) i like to use my vehicle mode as a way of getting to the camping spot really fast, getting out of a hot spot in a hurry, rushing to save a team mate, speeding to control command point, anything that includes getting from point A to point get the f**k out of dodge or you gonna die. also, as a decpeticon (and now with the autobots DLC solider class) heavy weapons are a luxury to have, tank cannons are great in close quarters, and as a jet you have unlimited ammo. last thing about vehicle; by little brother does this brilliant strategy where he picks one the the chassies/models for the scientist class that most resembles a similar chassie/model on the the other team, he then uses his disguise ability to give the appearence that his IS on the other team. and becuase his chassie/model looks just like the one on their team, the other team doesn't even know until my brother QUICKLY CHANGES BACK AND STABS THEM IN THE BACK!!!

anyway, yahtzee, you have to understand about the whole fanboy cattle following transforming toys to the slaughtertron; as fanboys, we HATED the micheal bay transformers movies (the robots looked kinda cool, but so much of the movie pissed me off. DID YOU SEE STARSCREAM IN THE FIRST ONE? WTF? HE'S ALL PAST PUBERTY AND SHIT!!!) we fans know what cattle fodder and what is made for the fans.
Transformers: War for Cybertron was probably the best transformers video games to date, all the other ones (the micheal bay spin off ones) sucked omega supreme's dick. this game however was made by fans for fans, they guys at the studio for this games actually were fans of transformers, so they knew what we wanted; good gameplay mechanics (check), contingency (check), lack of even steven/stanley yelnats/sam witwickey-fuckstick and his girlfriend side kick jennifer's body (check), lack of all spark silliness (check), included every character we loved from G1 and made each one's playing style unique (check), and lastly god damn stan bush did the song at the end (CHECK)

he's the guy that wrote "the touch" and "dare" from the original transformers movie.

so long and short of it yahtzee, go give multiplayer a shot on your holiday, you'll be surprised by how addicting it is (escalation is fun!!!)

Strange, I'm also going to be on vacation next week. If I see him at burning man, I'm going to demand a cartoon and sexual favors, but mostly a cartoon.

huh. yahtzee calls people sheep and he gets praised. movie bob calls people sheep and he gets flamed.

Why do they transform? Yahtzee, hello!

Transformers... ROBOTS IN DISGUISE.

I found the transforming part to be solid and smooth. Which is exactly what they were going for. You would have complained more if it were clunky, awkward, and difficult to utilise.

if we can't have yahtzee next week, can we at least have his annoying stand in from the first half of his halo wars review?

I liked everything but the hate on Shia Lebouf. Seriously, lay off him. He has apologized several times for his performance in the Crystal Skull. Sheesh.

Next time my parents ask me to help them weeding the their garden, I'll bring an AK 74.

i knew this game would suck and that dog pic looked exactaly like my dig lol. and im srry yahtzee but i will not exept u to not post a video next week (jks calm down)

Have a nice trip, let us know how it went... I suppose we'll find out in 2 weeks by how angry you are in your next video.

I kind of liked the last Transformers game. It was based on the movie...I think, but it was kind of a fun TPS where the transformations actually did provide advantages. Infact, the ability to attack right out of transforming was kind of a fun add on, I wish they'd had gone on with that formula. That being said, while I was never a big transformers fan, they did have some pretty good continuity even if their plots weren't stellar. But this one takes place before they get to earth, and to me that kind of ruins any want I have for the game. I want to turn into Optimus Prime's truck form, not whatever the Cyberton equivalent was.

Going anywhere nice on holiday, Yahtzee? Or are you one of these "I'll just stay at home and sleep more" types?

It was a shame you never referenced how the AI was in this game, since I'd heard good things about it. Apparently the developers had to write a new Engine and AI for the game, because the combat arenas are so large. Perhaps I'll be able to look at this myself some day... when I get a rise... and Osbourne doesn't try to take all of it away in tax.

Deliciously clever this episode was.

I thought the Transformers only turned in to vehicles after getting to Earth and scanning shit. Did this game mess up the canon or am I misremembering?

Either way, middle of the road 3rd person shooters don't interest me.

The second film was a dirty mess anyway. The fight scenes weren't epic, I couldn't even tell which Transformer was winning!

I would like to point out that Yahtzee did what Movie Bob did not,

Yahtzee told people he did not like the subject matter with out calling the people who did enjoy it "idiots" and "destroyers of human intelligence".

Yes I am one of those people who will be mad about Movie Bob's expendables review for a long time, and no not because of what he said about expendables but what he said about me because i like expendables.

the free to air had some some weird kids programs so in the days be for the net i hardly knew what a transformers a i saw bit of best wars was we we normally just had stuff from the uk

so i dont see what the excitement over transformers is ether there robots they crush things yay

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