Stolen Pixels #230: The History of Civilization, Part 1

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Stolen Pixels #230: The History of Civilization, Part 1

Videogames can teach you things you never knew about the history of mankind.

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I agree about the imbalanced civilisations part, germany can crush three civilisations before leaving ancient era thanks to their barbarian "allys".

And don't get me started on the japanese, as long as they heal every turn, even single units are a huge effort to defeat without seriously out-teching them.

But I thought America realy built the Piramids. It made their workers build faster. It makes sense.

Well Americans get the best bomber of the game. I think...

According to Civilization 5, Stonehenge was built by the Japanese, who then sent a rocket to the moon by 1300 AD, while United Nations was founded in 900 AD.

The more you know...

Moriarty:
And don't get me started on the japanese, as long as they heal every turn, even single units are a huge effort to defeat without seriously out-teching them.

Ahhh... Bushido, the only way a single scout can take an entire squad of warriors.

I'm currently having so much fun beefing up the city states with advanced units, so whichever empire tries to attack them gets annihilated.

I only played the demo and I had Thebes build every single one of the Wonders available.

Methinks a few modifications are needed here.

But how can we make sure that everyone gets those modifications, which couldn't really have been spotted in beta testing.

Oh wait, it's on Steam, already done.

Civ2.. the memories...
...of AI units pointlessly wandering back and forth,
and fortifying right next to my cities for 200 turns,
and attacking me slowly, gleefully, always one unit at a time,
and generally just sitting there waiting for my Dragoons and Tanks to roll over them.

Yes, Civilization 2 was great, but the AI really only started to get interesting from Civ3 upward.

Heh, It does seem some a pretty unbalanced, especilly if the AI controls the Japanese...it hurts!

Yeah, I got the "Seriously?!" achievement because Egypt kept building all the damn wonders.

Then I took them over. Now its all mine.

NOT SO SMUG NOW, ARE YOU EGYPT?!

Also, Big Ben is really located in Cleveland, not London. Who would have thought...

I love how the first few turns see you jumping forward several hundred years at a time. This is exactly how I'd imagine their reactions in the game. Absolutely hilarious.

Oh, and according to the last game I was playing about an hour ago, the Romans were annihilated by the Ottoman Empire, who built the pyramids. Unfortunately, I was the one playing the Romans... :(

Got over the Chime addiction, and replaced it with Civ, eh?

After reading this and Cirtical Miss I must say Civilization V sounds hilarius.

EDIT: Oh, and it is only part 1. Looking forwards to more.

I need a PC rig and play this game. This really has my interest, my girlfriend cannot stop japping about it. :__:

Moriarty:
I agree about the imbalanced civilisations part, germany can crush three civilisations before leaving ancient era thanks to their barbarian "allys".

And don't get me started on the japanese, as long as they heal every turn, even single units are a huge effort to defeat without seriously out-teching them.

man it sounds like fun as hell reading this XD I never got into the Civ series cause i got scared by it in one of the early iterations. It all seem too complicated >.< But i hear this one is actually a good starting point for beginners?

as for the comic Hah! XD

Moriarty:
I agree about the imbalanced civilisations part, germany can crush three civilisations before leaving ancient era thanks to their barbarian "allys".

And don't get me started on the japanese, as long as they heal every turn, even single units are a huge effort to defeat without seriously out-teching them.

My name, you stole it :(

WaderiAAA:
After reading this and Cirtical Miss I must say Civilization V sounds hilarius.

EDIT: Oh, and it is only part 1. Looking forwards to more.

There's always the chance it's a Mel Brooks reference. He may never go near this again. It's good to be the perpetually elected democratic head of state.

And may I say, it's really fun having cities on either side of the British Empire. The sun never sets on me Queenie.

Just want to reiterate my support for putting comments BELOW the comic. It is so much easier to read naturally now!

As far as Civ 5 goes, Civ Rev has a pretty balanced list of faction advantages. Even something as trivial as the Arabs' "Free knowledge of Religion" allows you to get a huge tech lead by trading Religion for whatever tech the other sides researched.

Robyrt:
Just want to reiterate my support for putting comments BELOW the comic. It is so much easier to read naturally now!

Hear hear!

Robyrt:
Even something as trivial as the Arabs' "Free knowledge of Religion" allows you to get a huge tech lead by trading Religion for whatever tech the other sides researched.

TBF, would you prefer the real version where the Japanese discover Gunpowder pre-Christianity, or the Moors(Arabians) discover Medicine/Architechture in Medieval times?

oliveira8:
Well Americans get the best bomber of the game. I think...

buying tiles is also cheaper. Makes getting resources quickly easier.

OT: For the egyptians, learn from history and do as Alexander did. Let them build their stuff, then capture their cities. Works every time.

I agree that 3 times barbarian cash may seem weak, but in my present game (Aztec, standard Earth, 3rd time option at Prince level, began in north america and quickly conquered the other civ in america), northen canada, south america and oceania have no civ on it so there's a lot of barbarian spawn, even in the 1900 AD. I've got the honor SP and a couple of units destroying camps when they spawn. It gives me about 10 culture every turn (Montezuma's special ability is to get culture every time you kill a unit) and 37 gold every 1-2 turn. I use it to fund my relationship with city-states. Having 3 times that amount would be useful. Also, embarked units can defend themselves, so you don't need a lot of escort while you transport your army from one continent to the next.

I think my favorite civ is the Arabs. +2 gold from trade routes earns you a LOT of money in archipelago maps (build harbors in every cities). Bazaar double the number of luxury resources worked by the city (and +25% gold like the market which it replace). That's a hell of a lot of resources you can trade to get those you don't have. They're good mid-game with their camel archers and late in the game they have a lot of tanks (because of their double oil).

I want this game so badly, it looks absolutely amazing.

I iz learning.

But this seems fairly fun, but I've never been able to get into the PC civ games. I love civ rev (for the DS, the 360 version advisers drive me mad), but I always get distracted when I try to play Civ4, and I'd rather play that for a bit before even thinking of getting Civ5.

I don't really know how you would go about balancing a game with this degree of freedom. Seems like a nightmare.

I played only one game, on Chieftain difficulty (easy), as the Persians, who get a 50% increase in Golden Age length, and +10% combat strength and +1 unit speed during a Golden Age. I built the wonder which increases Golden Age length by 50%, had a few cities churn out great people, and then I had a Golden Age which last until the end of the game. So named because you get filthy rich during it if you've got a lot of cities.

I used the gold to buy science buildings, so I ended up with Giant Death Robots in the 1800s.

How long has everyone's game time been? My first and only game took me nearly 10 hours. Probably because I was micromanaging 20 cities a turn, but still, it seems excessive.

DTWolfwood:
man it sounds like fun as hell reading this XD I never got into the Civ series cause i got scared by it in one of the early iterations. It all seem too complicated >.< But i hear this one is actually a good starting point for beginners?

as for the comic Hah! XD

well this is actually my first game of the civ series, and you learn stuff pretty fast.
I'm generally rubbish at strategy games, but I already played 25h of civ 5 according to steam =)

So, with 51 hrs of Civ 5 under my belt as well as victories so far up to Emperor level, I have some conclusions:

It's undoubtedly a different game than Civs past. Better? In some ways, yes, in other ways not so. I still think for me Civ 4 was more fun, but Civ 5 is a damn fine game.

The AI is ridiculously bad, though. It tends to spam its unique units, regardless of whether they're the best for that job, and then deploys them poorly. In my Emperor level game yesterday, I rolled in with a half-dozen musketmen and some lancers and ran through about 20-odd longbowmen that the England AI had spawned. Stupid. On the other hand, tactical placement is now far more important, so that may be why I can escalate faster to a higher difficulty than in Civs past.

There is a definite imbalance in the special abilities. Some are incredibly strong: Egypt, Greece, Babylon, Japan and Persia come to mind. Some are situationally useful, such as Germany. Others just flat-out suck: America, Ottomans and England are probably the three worst.

Onyx Oblivion:
Got over the Chime addiction, and replaced it with Civ, eh?

There is no addiction more powerful than Civ, not even hookers and blow.

Tiamat666:

Yes, Civilization 2 was great, but the AI really only started to get interesting from Civ3 upward.

It did? I thought it kept being bad, hitting bottom rock in Civ 4. Civ 5 AI seems to be better than Civ 4 though...but that's not saying a lot. It's still pretty average.

Another great strip for Stolen Pixels! It's true that there is no greater addiction then Civ. Although the combat in this game is by far superior to past Civ games, the AI leaves me feeling a little wanting...

I actually preferred Civ4's version of factions, where you had the option of picking (for some nations anyway) between two different leaders with different effects. My current game is germany against 7 others on a standard map. There are some problems, particularly with the AI. One of my coastal cities destroyed dozens of barbarian boats, which they happily left within range. The other nations aren't faring much better, but that's half of the fun. I kinda miss religion though, it was a fun little feature that made diplomacy a bit more dynamic.

I've never really played a Civ game, but this one looks like a ton of fun. Too bad it won't run on my mac. :(

Wonders really don't matter as much in Civ 5 as they did in the other games, unless you're going for a small empire culture bid.

As for the x3 barb gold... everyone said huyana capac's unique unit in civ 4 sucked. After all, it was just a warrior with +100% to archers. Who would want a UU for a unit that was never used except for spawn busting and scouting? That is until they figured out you could bumrush the diety ai since they massed archers.

So maybe someone will be able to use that massive early game bonus gold for some cheesy strat.

Or maybe it sucks.

Wow if someone has every wonder by 2,400 BC they've got to be cheating lol.

"My Great Grandfather stood right here and was killed by that same ship. This is part of our heritage!"
If only Fox had gotten rid of King of the Hill as fast as it did Firefly

Dammit, I hate Egypt. They've always seemed to have been given some ridiculous combinations of bonuses that make them attractive, but I just hate playing them.

I totally agree; even though I've only played Civ 4, 5 just seems better. It's the combat; it feels like a contest of skill, as opposed to Civ 4's test of whether or not you have epic cities. The tile purchasing is fun, too. Taking your money and translating it into more territory.

Supp:
Wonders really don't matter as much in Civ 5 as they did in the other games, unless you're going for a small empire culture bid.

As for the x3 barb gold... everyone said huyana capac's unique unit in civ 4 sucked. After all, it was just a warrior with +100% to archers. Who would want a UU for a unit that was never used except for spawn busting and scouting? That is until they figured out you could bumrush the diety ai since they massed archers.

So maybe someone will be able to use that massive early game bonus gold for some cheesy strat.

Or maybe it sucks.

If you can isolate a part of the map so that barbarians spawn there, you can easily farm them. I had 3 spots on the map plus a couple of islands where barbarians regularly spawned. I destroyed an encampment every 1-2 turns for half of the game and got 37 each times (the amount seems to depends on the size of the map and the difficulty). With that cash, I could fund one extra city-state. I was playing as Monty, so if I had 3 times the cash from barbarians, I could be allied with 2 more city-states. That means +40 culture per turn or 2 military units every 17 turns or a lot more food for all your cities. Of course, I had the honor SP to know where the barbarians spawn and patronage SP to help against influence decay.

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