My Little Phony

 Pages 1 2 NEXT
 

My Little Phony

Secretariat shows how good stories become boring movies

Read Full Article

Please don't tell me we are going to see a resurging trend of cheesy underdog movies. I thought we got rid of those!

Just stay away from Australian cinema... It's all we seem to make...

Finally, someone calls this movie out on its pandering bullshit.

That said, I didn't think it was that bad AS A MOVIE. The acting was good, the cinematography and technical aspects were great, and though the pussified story and subtext were awful, the actual screenplay was pretty good.

But I still agree.

Damn Bob, you really know how to hold a grudge on a movie. The Blindside came out a year ago. Few people will actually remember it in more than passing sense given a few more months. By repeatedly bashing it, you serve only to remind those that liked it that it existed and get them huffy about your criticism, thus turning a one-shot feel-good film into an experiment in martyrdom. Maybe it's time to let go?

It sounds like a godawful movie of most severe kind. I'm glad I have never heard of it before reading this -- it sounds exactly like the kind of crap that I don't want to be paying for, much less being forced to endure.

Thank's for saving me the pain.

Let's see...

Secretariat is a movie about a horse....

No, lost me already. #1 is the title - that's a god-awful word.

MovieBob:
That somewhat drops completely, incidentally, during what can only honestly be called the film's love scene, in which Maiden and Steed share a lingering, wordless, psychic gaze. That sort of thing is cute when it's a little kid with the horse, i.e. Dakota Fanning in Dreamer; but here, with a decidedly grown up woman, it's hard for the mind not to step over the line into creepier, more parody-worthy territory. Or, rather, it'll be hard for you now that I've put the idea in your head - mwah ha ha ha!

No doubt this will be featuring in the next "from the writers of Scary Movie" film.

And this is why you need to look at multiple critics. I didn't think Blindside was bad, it wasn't good, but I fail to see reasoning for the level of hate you have for it.

That and I liked The Expendables for what it was. Mindless, senseless, and cheesy action film. It had overpowered weapons, a bad plot, and Stallone trying to act. It was an '80s throwback.

Togusa09:
Just stay away from Australian cinema... It's all we seem to make...

australian cinema only makes underdog movies?

This review has finally convinced me that MovieBob is not the critic for me.

When I saw the title of this article all I could think about was a pot and a kettle.

I cannot say Secretariat seems all that interesting, but a better question I think is, again, it comes down to if you made it a different way, would it have worked better?

If the movie perhaps hadn't been made by Disney (Who produce wholesome family entertainment at the extent of altering history), and say, had Paramount, or Universal Studios, ETC (Who can produce a PG-13 movie with a little more willing to "Grow a Pair" in the context that they'll tell the story with a little more willing accuracy), could it have been a picture to talk about, and not make it seem ironic?

Let's look at the Blind Side, which I'm not going to give a glowing endorsement to either, but say if that had been made by Disney: How much historically would have been embellished to make it a "Disney Movie" and less a "True Story"? Could Disney have made it and have gotten the "Nominated for Academy Award" praise?

Likewise, if Secretariat had been taken by Warner Brothers and was given a PG-13 rating, would have been a story about an Underdog horse with the subplot of a woman trying to do what she does in the picture, could it have been a better movie, knowing what actors would have been kept, what scenes that worked for you, personally, with the inclusion of some PG-13 scenes (or PG, what have you) could you have given it the positive response to it then?

I really won't see Secretariat unless it's something I HAVE to see, and currently, I'm not taking interest in Horse Movies to express concern for, just wanted to see if this "What if?" scenario would have had a different outlook on the picture.

I didn't think I'd wind up seeing this one anyway. I avoided Seabiscuit the way a blind man avoids the M25. I actually don't mind a bit of horse racing (strictly 1 pussy bets for me though), but movies about horse racing? They just turn me off right away. Especially so if there's some creepy 'adult-woman-and-horse-wish-fulfilment-fantasy' stuff going on.

Because I saw that video on the internet and I heard that she died afterwards.

MovieBob, I'm a big fan but I'm really hungry right now so I don't have the energy to do research. I'll just ask: What do you think of the Jackass movies, especially the newest one?

Alright. I Understand the the blindside ins't like the greatest movie ever or anything, but I fail to see how it was horribly racist. It was portraying racism, and seemed to show that it is wrong.

Political correctness to the degree where we can't have any black people helped out or supported by white people is even worse in my opinion. Sure, there should be movies about strong black men and women helping themselves (and I'm sure there are), but I don't understand why films with different approaches are considered racist.

I know that was all off topic, but bob bringing it up kind of made me angry about it again. I still want to check out Secretariat just as a fair-weather fan of horse-racing and to see what I think about it. Ebert gave it 4 out of 4 stars...

Here, here Bob! We need more critics like you to call out Hollywood on its pandering bullshit!! Otherwise, they'll just keep making the same damn movies over-and-over again asking "Why didn't it make as much money as [Title]?"

So... Secretariat doesn't work because nothing really is at stake here. All conflict has been pared away so all you see is a rich woman taking up horseracing, which is a little odd in that time of male-dominated horseracing stables, but nothing too scary?

Thanks for letting me know, MovieBob. I suspect some of your frustration is not because the movie is bad but because you did the research and know the story had the potential to be so much better...

Togusa09:
Just stay away from Australian cinema... It's all we seem to make...

A really good australian film came out this year called Animal Kingdom. its not in the least bit cheesy.

ya i knew this movie was gonna suck once i say it on family channel being advertised by that stupid voice

Velocirapture07:
Sure, there should be movies about strong black men and women helping themselves (and I'm sure there are),

I saw this one. It had a load of snakes in it. And a plane, I think. As far as I know Jules Winfield was pretty sick of the situation.

gallaetha_matt:

Velocirapture07:
Sure, there should be movies about strong black men and women helping themselves (and I'm sure there are),

I saw this one. It had a load of snakes in it. And a plane, I think. As far as I know Jules Winfield was pretty sick of the situation.

Haha, this made me laugh. Thanks. Don't know if you were trying to say anything but it's still funny none the less.

ravensshade:

Togusa09:
Just stay away from Australian cinema... It's all we seem to make...

australian cinema only makes underdog under-dingo movies?.

Fixed it for you.

It looked like a decent yet bland film from what I saw.

Much anger in this thread I sense.

Maybe if the film ended in a gunfight I would have been interested, I mean I am a FPS addict.

*twitch*

If you want a good film about feminism that has come out recently check out "Made in Dagenham".

secretariat is the michael jordan of the horse world, and the horse is actually better than mj since he never had to struggle or overcome.

if disney made a film about mj they would probably focus a bit on the pistons struggles, toucvh on the death of his father and the impact on him to leave the game. but totally forget the gambling, the what i would assume womanizing, the friction between him and his team especially in the early teams. And of course his burning drive to dominate a team sport.

the horse just owned all, i am pretty sure he did not get very upset about the loss of his parents, he had not major rivals to overcome, he was just faster and stronger and better by miles than anyone else in the individual sport.

but then again wth do we expect disney to make? i mean do we expect than a disney movie is going to have a good hard look at sexism and vietnam and dysfunctional families and peoples sex lives in any movie? i think a majority of people on the escapist or in the general movie going public will skip this move just because there is no there there and how many adults really share a burning need to know more about a horse the kicked the living crap out of everything. this is a movie for parents that what some safe and non threatening movies to take the kids to to kill 90 minutes.

just like in the next 10 year or so io am sure there will be jordan movies coming out to relive the glory days of the nba and if disney makes one that is the one my kids go see, the one oliver stone makes is the one i go see.

I can't even get over the name... What the fuck? It's just a word. Who names their horse with a fucking unsuitable word like that? "Oooh, I know a French word, It's so exotic!" Fuck you. It's the rough equivalent of naming your horse "Administration" or "Management" or "Assistance". Seriously, Fuck that name.

...and thus were MovieBob's detractors reminded of why he is allowed weekly contributions on the Escapist.

Well done, Sir!

image

All I can say is thank God it wasn't turned into one of those "feminist conquers men" movies. There are already way to many of those vile things.

The 70s was 40 fucking years ago, feminism is just as irrelevant now as everything else from the 70s is.

The Blind Side was possibly the most racist movie I have seen in a long time. The black character was portrayed as a simpleton. The only thing he was missing was a lazy eye, and a bit of drool coming out the side of his mouth.

So this movie white washes history. Fantastic.

That's the cliche anyway, and largely what I've been exposed to. There are breaks to this of course, people I know just generally prefer Australian movies like "The Castle".

Thomas Guy:
The Blind Side was possibly the most racist movie I have seen in a long time. The black character was portrayed as a simpleton. The only thing he was missing was a lazy eye, and a bit of drool coming out the side of his mouth.

So this movie white washes history. Fantastic.

What I found most racist about it was that he wasn't even the main character in his own story. What? So a black man can't be a relatable character in movies, he needs to get the cheap Julia Roberts to tell his own story for him? Not cool, Hollywood, not cool.

RestamSalucard:

Thomas Guy:
The Blind Side was possibly the most racist movie I have seen in a long time. The black character was portrayed as a simpleton. The only thing he was missing was a lazy eye, and a bit of drool coming out the side of his mouth.

So this movie white washes history. Fantastic.

What I found most racist about it was that he wasn't even the main character in his own story. What? So a black man can't be a relatable character in movies, he needs to get the cheap Julia Roberts to tell his own story for him? Not cool, Hollywood, not cool.

Wow, you guys miss the entire point of the Blindside when you cry about its portrayal of black people. The point of it was to point out socio-economic problems, connected to race but not about race. Rich people, poor people. Not White and Black. There's even an argument in the movie about this very distinction. Keep in mind the story is in Memphis, where socio-economic stratification is a cold reality.

And it makes sense to me that a feminine, motherly character narrarates the upbringing of her adopted son, even though most of the action revolves around him. The movie is about a mother watching her son overcome adversity.

God I hate movies that try to show adult relationships but utterly ignore the whole 'adult' aspect of it and treat them like love struck 5 year olds. When will we get back to hollywood making a movie for the audience its made for instead of trying to trick people that its totally intended for everyone.

If the protagonist was like Sarah Palin every liberal character in the movie would treat her like she's the greatest threat to the human race who ever lived. In other words, she's the sort of female that makes liberals forget they're supposed to be feminists. Of course, therein lies the real truth--in order to have a liberal's respect you have to agree with him. No deviating from the dictates of the hive mind, ladies, or else you'll lose your "protected" status!

Anyway, aside from being excessively liberal again, good review.

For.I.Am.Mad:
When I saw the title of this article all I could think about was a pot and a kettle.

Um...I don't get it. I mean, I get the reference, I'm just not quite sure what you're trying to get at with it.

 Pages 1 2 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here