Zero Punctuation: Castlevania: Lords of Shadow

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I played one of the Castlevania games on my game boy when I was like five. Easily one of my favorite classic game boy games ever.

The end credits comment was the best.

I really, really liked Lament of Innocence.

Long time viewer first time poster. I had to make an account to say that that was one of funniest things I have seen in a while. I laughed all the way through and then completely lost it with the counting of miserable little secrets sesame street style. I laughed so hard my roommate got concerned and came to check on me....and now thinks I am a crack head. "What is a man!"

Nope, I disagree. It is a great game and I love all the other game references, it was good for a laugh. It definitely feels like a Castlevania game, and you can go back and find things you missed, I guess he missed that, well he did when he mentioned the discs, but I don't see a problem because all a person has to do burn the game their hard drive, disc swap problem solved.

Oh, and in my opinion, if people that complain that a game is too long, don't have the right to complain that a game is too short. So what is this magical number of game length I never here of? Complaining about a game being too long, is like complaining about getting too much tasty frosting that you love on your piece of CAKE.

Not as funny as last weeks episode but a very good review. This holiday season has quite a few disappointments so I think Yahtzee has a lot of work cut out for him in the next few months.

joemegson94:

usucdik:

joemegson94:
In The Passing/The Sacrifice, it's possible to listen to Still Alive on a jukebox. Also the fact that it's by Vlave doesn't make a difference; it's still a game with a portal reference.

Which of course isn't even the issue.

It is. I'm pointing out that not all games with portal references are crap.

It still isn't.

"Angel is a cenafold

Angel is a cenafold"

...I'm really starting to hate Rock Band 3.

So.... he liked it, right?

lulz i just wanna know if anyone else noticed his spelling mistakes with the whole alucard joke instead of spelling "the" backwards "eht" he said "eth"

I really enjoyed Castlevania. But then i -actually- enjoyed Castlevania 64 too. Yep, i'm one of those super rare folk who don't grab the pitchfork and torches at what many decry as the 'dark horse' of the series.

You know, i get the whole 'every action adventure game tries to emulate God of War ffs' but, you know, you could say the same about anything. First person shooter? Let me get out my 'Like Goldeneye but...' stamp. Third person cover based shooter? Let's go for something more contemporary; i'll just get out my 'like Gears of War but...' stamp. Or we could go back to the N64 era and say 'let me get out my like Jet Force Gemini but stamp...'. In fact forget games, you might as well say every single plot it any movie and TV show has been done by one before it and perhaps even done by literary geniuses like Shakespeare. A love story? Oh please, Romeo and Juliet did that shit four hundred years ago!

The point is that recycled mechanics is of course expected, but it's how the game implements them. If it's fun to play but feels like God of War, then just say it's fun to play. If you don't like the combat mechanics used in God of War, you're not going to like them implemented in anything else, plain and simple.

Anyhow, i thought the stunning visuals and visceral combat were very entertaining, with light platforming sections to provide a bit of breathing room between the combat sections. And as mentioned, the logic puzzles were some of the highlights. I don't see why you should bitch about including an option to remove them by the way, since i'm sure there's a couple more casual players who would be seriously pissed off if they couldn't proceed because of a puzzle. You should be praising extra options for players who want or need them, not bitching about them. Also, you're complaining about a game being too long? Jesus christ man, in a world where people charge 40 ($60 for the Americans) for a 6 hour game (i'm looking at you, Force Unleashed 2, Vanquish and Enslaved) anything that pushes itself over the 10 hour mark is a real treat.

Holy bananas, that was the funniest episode I've seen in a long time. Not that the other episodes weren't funny, mind you.

Like always, another action rpg bashed by Yahtzee...the moment i saw the gameplay i was 100% Yahtzee would use god of war to bash castlevania.Is it really that fun to degrade games because they are just a bit lacking in comparison to the best out there?(positive criticism would be ok though)
Always the same thing if a game doesn't have stealth or sniper rifles then it's automaticly riped off some other game and is total crap.
If in devil may cry dante had a weapon similar to cratos's main weapon Yahtzee would've used "Like God of War Stamp" on it also.

usucdik:

joemegson94:

usucdik:

joemegson94:
In The Passing/The Sacrifice, it's possible to listen to Still Alive on a jukebox. Also the fact that it's by Vlave doesn't make a difference; it's still a game with a portal reference.

Which of course isn't even the issue.

It is. I'm pointing out that not all games with portal references are crap.

It still isn't.

I don't think Yahtzee's tripping because of the fact that the game includes a Portal reference, but the fact that the reference itself is the infamous (and unfunny, I always thought) "The cake is a lie" line.

Sonic Doctor:
Nope, I disagree. It is a great game and I love all the other game references, it was good for a laugh. It definitely feels like a Castlevania game, and you can go back and find things you missed, I guess he missed that, well he did when he mentioned the discs, but I don't see a problem because all a person has to do burn the game their hard drive, disc swap problem solved.

Oh, and in my opinion, if people that complain that a game is too long, don't have the right to complain that a game is too short. So what is this magical number of game length I never here of? Complaining about a game being too long, is like complaining about getting too much tasty frosting that you love on your piece of CAKE.

Which is a lie of course :P

XD This was easily the funniest ZP I've seen in a long time! I had to pause and wait for myself to finish laughing several times so I wouldn't miss the rest of the review. Although, the fart description at the end was absolutely nauseating.

Thank you Yahtzee.

Just beat it last night, being a Castlevania fanboy I didn't want to take stabs at it and slander the good name in front of the douchebags I play xbox with and the dickheads at gamestop where I buy my games from and get forced into conversations with.

Lets just say I was eagerly awaiting this review just to get the rage out before I pummel an infant.

Just before the four minute mark there's that line about stopping sex to wipe the sneeze off your lover's forehead and then she stabs you...

So you and Rebecca hooked up then?

I love how it says "available now: amazon, gamestop, etc etc" on the bottom of the page. It's like "now that you've heard how Yahtzee shredded the game to bits, would you like to buy it?"

Oh, God! I was eating!

Oh, God, why was I eating?!

The first time I saw Castlevania : Lord of Shadows, I knew I was going to hate it for being too much of a God of War ripoff. When I played the demo, it made that even clearer. I don't know why it got a high rating in a certain game magazine (maybe I shouldn't be surprised at this point, considering the bad reviews most magazines give). Yahtzee summed it well: what's so Castlevania about this God of War wannabe? The Western developers for this mentioned that they want to remake the series and "try something new"... and what they mean by that is make it their own version of frickin' God of War.

insanelogics:
Is it really that fun to degrade games because they are just a bit lacking in comparison to the best out there?

Mediocrity should not be rewarded.

Yahtzee Croshaw:
Castlevania: Lords of Shadow

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Castlevania: Lords of Shadow.

Watch Video

Yes the portal joke felt shoehorned into the game, but are you saying that it ruined the entire game? What if you never found that scroll? Would the game suddenly have been more fun? And this game was intended to be a reboot. Didn't you say that a proper reboot makes a nod to the franchise, but doesn't copy it entirely?

sukotsuto:
The first time I saw Castlevania : Lord of Shadows, I knew I was going to hate it for being too much of a God of War ripoff. When I played the demo, it made that even clearer. I don't know why it got a high rating in a certain game magazine (maybe I shouldn't be surprised at this point, considering the bad reviews most magazines give). Yahtzee summed it well: what's so Castlevania about this God of War wannabe? The Western developers for this mentioned that they want to remake the series and "try something new"... and what they mean by that is make it their own version of frickin' God of War.

You do realize all but like four reviewers gave Castlevania lords of shadow a score of 90 or above?

One of his funniest reviews in a while. I liked the line about the gizzards flying prettily across the room.
Random thought: When he put up the two chocolate bars to represent good and evil, did anybody who has never been to Australia know what the evil chocolate bar was? I know anybody who is English would have no idea...

"My other boss is a colossus"

I lol'd

Hey I dug playing on Castlevania for the n64.

Favorite/hated moment of that game: Going to get the Nitroglycerin and heading back >:D

The Great JT:
No Dracula? Oh Castlevania, what've they done to you? That's on par with what Captain N did to Simon Belmont.

Oh he's in the game. I wont give any spoilers, but during the epilogue you get a big surprise.

Misho-:

Sonic Doctor:
Nope, I disagree. It is a great game and I love all the other game references, it was good for a laugh. It definitely feels like a Castlevania game, and you can go back and find things you missed, I guess he missed that, well he did when he mentioned the discs, but I don't see a problem because all a person has to do burn the game their hard drive, disc swap problem solved.

Oh, and in my opinion, if people that complain that a game is too long, don't have the right to complain that a game is too short. So what is this magical number of game length I never here of? Complaining about a game being too long, is like complaining about getting too much tasty frosting that you love on your piece of CAKE.

Which is a lie of course :P

I looks like I will have to break out the word "seriously" again, like I mentioned in my thread about words I am addicted to using.

Seriously, I meant everything I said about Castlevania: Lords of Shadow.

he right but its still fun none the less it no curse of darkness but it still good

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow of the Colossus... nice one, Yahtzee.

"That game had SIXTEEN colossi, and we've got THREE!"

(*uncomfortable silence*)

"So where do you want this LIKE GOD OF WAR BUT stamp?"

I knew Yahtzee was gonna bring out that stamp after I saw the ending message from this week's Unskippable.

So let's review:

Darksiders - Like God of War but
Bayonetta - Like Devil May Cry but
Dante's Inferno - Like God of War
Castlevania: Lords of Shadow -
Like God of War but like Shadow of the Colossus and gets a bit Dante's Inferno-y at times

Can't wait for the next time that stamp is needed.

blueshark217:

sukotsuto:
The first time I saw Castlevania : Lord of Shadows, I knew I was going to hate it for being too much of a God of War ripoff. When I played the demo, it made that even clearer. I don't know why it got a high rating in a certain game magazine (maybe I shouldn't be surprised at this point, considering the bad reviews most magazines give). Yahtzee summed it well: what's so Castlevania about this God of War wannabe? The Western developers for this mentioned that they want to remake the series and "try something new"... and what they mean by that is make it their own version of frickin' God of War.

You do realize all but like four reviewers gave Castlevania lords of shadow a score of 90 or above?

Exactly. If you got what I meant (which I admit, probably wasn't clear earlier lol), I was wondering why the heck it got a high rating, when it's kinda "meh" overall.

A little background on my history with Castlevania. I've been a dedicated fan of the series since the first one came out for the NES in 86'. I was like 9 at the time, but I loved the hell out of that game. I then played Simon's Quest (not the biggest fan now), and Dracula's Curse (my 3rd favorite of the series). Actualy in order I'd say my favorite CV games (before LoS) are: SotN, Rondo of Blood, Dracula's Curse, and Order of Ecclesia. I've played every console CV, and all but two of the handhelds...

and... I really don't understand how anyone (who was actually bothered to play the full game, and NO the demo DOES NOT give you a good idea of what the rest of the game is like!) could come away with anything but "That was the best Castlevania game I've played since..." as their primary response to the experience of playing this game. And yes the first 1/2 or so of the game feels like some of the wilderness locations in Order of Ecclessia more than proper Castlevania levels, but once you get to Wygol, that all goes out the window for the next three or four chapters (about 15 or 20 "levels" in total). As you slowly ascend the coolest castle I think I've ever seen in a Castlevania game (it's also freaking ridiculously huge... just look at it in the distance when you enter Wygol).

And to be perfectly honest I can't imagine this game working in 3D, w/out using similar combat mechanics to GoW. I mean if "you" were to make a 3D castlevania, where the main character uses a whip, various selectable items, and magic, how would "you" make the combat work? Probably pretty damn close to what this game already did.

Sure the Colossus battles were a little close to a certain masterpiece, and the climbing was a little Uncharted/Prince of Persia-esque, but once again... how else would you approach programming those elements? At least this game gives you a respawn point after almost every jump, so platforming NEVER feels frustrating.

Furthermore, the vistas you see in this game almost make the price of admission worth it alone (then add on top of that an intriguing story, excellent enemy designs, more fluid and complex combat than GoW, and the dual magic which gives boss battles an extra layer . I clocked over 20 hours in this game easily over a period of a week. Thatw asn't even going back to complete each levels bonus challenges, or returning to previously explored areas to unlock all of the upgrades I didn't have access to on my first time through.

The game does have a few very minor flaws, but I am glad I took this trip into a newly rebooted Castlevania universe and I'm greatly looking forward to where Mercury Steam takes the franchise from here (part 2 is already under way).

joemegson94:
Left 4 Dead 2 has a Portal reference and that game's awesome.

Left 4 Dead 2 was made by Valve, they have a license.

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