Escape to the Movies: Monsters

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MovieBob:
Monsters

This week MovieBob take a look at Monsters.

Watch Video

Happy to get that off of your chest, Bob?

Feels good to let the emotions flow, doesn't it?

Despite Bob making a point about him being a professional that follows movie news and info about them closely in the beginning, he gets the same stuff wrong as with Paranormal Activity 2.

Sure, Monsters started off as a indie produced film, but that was until the a British studio came along to help them - including some of the people from BBC that the director worked for many years - including getting equipment from them to work with (certainly not "generic consumer equipment" like Bob says).

Oh, and that 15k budget? Totally not true. The 15k may have gone into shooting, but it's pretty much clarified everywhere already that the cost of the film was actually far more - but again, the small amount is a better story, just not true unfortunately.

But yes, I agree with him on the part of the film not being that good.

Definitely enjoyed this review. You pointed out all of the flaws in it and gave good reasoning behind it. Thats what I want from reviews and you delivered, so thanks for that. Good job.

well I would HOPE you're psyched to see the True Grit remake. They better recreate the scene where Rooster guns down dudes while riding his horse with the reins in his teeth

OK, never heard of this movie before, but now I just gotta see it. Don't worry Bob, I have no intention of paying for it; I have a couple friends with terrible taste that are pretty much guaranteed to at least rent it.

Moon_Called:

JaredXE:
You had me at Anne Hathaway and Cool-Whip....lets just leave it at that.

It's funny, 'cause that's where he lost me.
Good to know the Escapist is still employing a sexist teenager who posts pictures of women in lingerie whenever he gets the chance.

Was that sarcasm? Cuz I honestly don't see anything to complain about in there. Except the teenager thing, If I were MovieBob that would be cause for a blood feud.

JaredXE:
You had me at Anne Hathaway and Cool-Whip....lets just leave it at that.

Caught my attention as well.. haha

I had never heard of the movie either.

But why can't people just make a sci-fi/monstor/fantasy movie, without a political agenda. No Avatar save the planet, no arpatide, no immigration. Just monsters attacking us, we fight back.. we hopefully win.. Independence II, Aleins come back, ground assault, no virus BS, we are better.. Jeff Goldblum dies.. (tear)

Go bob! tear it annew one

I kinda guessed this was a bad movie from the title. I mean, come on, just naming it monsters? It is like naming a fast and durious clone "driving". I mean, although one word titles often are cool, I don't think monsters sounds good enough, and when the director can't come up with anything better, there is little hope that he could come up with a great story for the movie.

You raised my hopes and dashed them quite expertly... Bravo sir.

Also... Glee...Lesbian Cheerleeders...
*runs off to find it*

It felt actually kind of sad that MovieBob ended up hating the film. Actually, judging from the trailer, I highly doubt it could have been made for $15k only. That's really a low amount of money, that would be barely enough to pay the actors and their flight tickets to Mexico.

Moon_Called:

It's funny, 'cause that's where he lost me.
Good to know the Escapist is still employing a sexist teenager who posts pictures of women in lingerie whenever he gets the chance.

I don't think you know what sexist means... Moviebob finds women attractive and is zealously open about it, he doesn't beat them or think they shouldn't have voting rights (or anything along those lines).

Anyway, disappointed to see this is bad. Even if it would have been just a D9 ripoff, but good, it would be at least worth a look. Cuz I mean, D9 was good so anything copying it would at least it would be somewhat interesting. O well, guess I can strike this one off my list.

Please dont watch glee bob that show looks like it kills brain cells faster than 200 proof liquor.

If I mention The Expendables here, will that preempt a pack of frothing-at-the-mouth idiots from derailing this thread?

I love serious alien movies so I am very disappointed to hear this.

This is probably the best Escape to the Movies I've listened to in a while. Especially liked how Bob set up his hopes about Monsters, only to get to how they were dashed by the actual product.

I had only heard of Monsters this week, and was intrigued by the premise for all of five minutes before I started checking the reviews, many of which pointed out some rather awful-sounding dialogue (even the positive ones).

Can't say I'm looking forward to the other alien invasion movie of the season, Skyline, either. Especially since it's directed by the Strauss Brothers (the second Alien vs. Predator...).

Whytewulf:

But why can't people just make a sci-fi/monstor/fantasy movie, without a political agenda. No Avatar save the planet, no arpatide, no immigration. Just monsters attacking us, we fight back.. we hopefully win.. Independence II, Aleins come back, ground assault, no virus BS, we are better.. Jeff Goldblum dies.. (tear)

Usually because the best ones *cough*the original Godzilla*cough*The Host*cough*The Thing*cough* have some sort of political message, or at least tap into whatever fears or mood society has at the time, just like any genre (hell, just like any art form). Of course, some directors go in trying to make "the next great sci-fi classic" and merely tack on a political statement, even if all they're doing is hitting people over the head with a mallet labelled "[insert point here]."

Monsters was a horrendous film. For once I fully agree with Bob.

I'm curious about the ending of this nonsense film, but it sounds so bad I don't want to see it. How does it end?

Also, does anyone think Bob will review that movie about the psych ward and Zach Galifihangoverguy? It looks horribly sappy, I wonder if MovieBob thinks differently (or plans on seeing it at all).

MovieBob:
Monsters

This week MovieBob take a look at Monsters.

For a horrifying moment, when I heard that music, I thought you'd be appearing in an Elvira costume.

Thank you for small mercies. ;)

Thank you Bob. The hatefilled Kurmudgen in me usually assumes that all critics opinions on artsy films are unreliable because its an artsy film. So thank you for proving me wrong and restoring some of my faith in humanity.

Also I had to watch this video 5 times in a row just to hear the bit about the resses and pie. Damn that sounds good.

Whytewulf:

But why can't people just make a sci-fi/monstor/fantasy movie, without a political agenda.

Because that's the only way anyone ever gets a "alternative" movie through these days. Or those days.
Attack of the 50ft Woman was a satire on the battle of the sexes, Romero's Dead series tackled alienation, racism and civilization, Labyrinth was about...

Well...Bowie's genetalia mostly, and Jennifer Connoly, but you can't make a good fantasy/sci-fi movie without some sort of trackback to the human situation.

What you can do, however, is to hide it under subtext. The "Prawns" from District 9 were given humanity in a way that the world didn't give the South Africans in District 6.

If you create a fantasy movie without a human element...you tend to get something like the Star Wars Prequels.

Add in the idea of a group of rebels running from a huge regime of Stormtroopers; who want to throw them in the Trash compactor, and you may have a good allegory - don't you George Bomberger and Steven Spielberg?

George Palmer:

Ampersand:
You should have been watching Glee anyway. ^_^

My hatred of Glee burns with the intensity of a thousand suns! I guess its just not for me. lol

:)

Right there with you. My wife watches it weekly, and Lea Michele is seriously cute, but the steadily rising smugness of the show irritates the heck out of me.

Oh, "Monsters", right!

I hadn't heard of it until now. Like MovieBob, I'm really disappointed. I love lower-budget cinema verite genre stuff. It's sad when it falls flat.

I'm also really tired of political messages being hamfistedly shoehorned into movies. As a science fiction fan, I appreciate when genre is used to address real-world concerns. However, it's apparently quite difficult to do well, because instead of being presented with all sides of the chosen issue and being stimulated to actually THINK about the issue, it's usually a one-sided argument carried by cardboard-cutout characters acting as the writer/director's mouthpiece while caricatures and strawmen are trundled out to cackle gleefully and demonstrate their foolishness and evil.

Oh bob, has your love of lesbianism become so all consuming that you would watch something you otherwise wouldn't just because it's in there?

Seriously though your three major loves seem to be Nintendo, Movies and lesbians. So, from that I would gather that the best thing ever for you would be Mario movie in which Peach and Daisy have a sex scene.

Moviebob,

Glad to see you're not afraid to slam an indie movie. Most critics see this whole sector of the industry as something sacred and pure.

Hey critics, the most successful independent films of all time...ARE THE STAR WARS PREQUELS!

I wouldn't go so far as to call Moviebob sexist, but some of those jokes seem to be catering to the lowest common denominator of Escapist posters. Same thing with the end tag. Liking Glee because it features hot ambisexual cheerleaders is as stupid as hating it for bearing a superficial resemblence to High School Musical.

Likewise, the self-deprecating humor is somewhat hit or miss (I'm thinking of the intro to his Social Network review).

I was thinking that Bob was being a bit harsh on an indy movie, but when he compared it to Shyamalan directing Cloverfield, that scared me off quite a bit.

Nope not even hot girl on girl action could make me watch glee!

What is the twist?! I really wanna know now but I don't wanna waste money going to see it!

The_root_of_all_evil:

Whytewulf:

But why can't people just make a sci-fi/monstor/fantasy movie, without a political agenda.

Because that's the only way anyone ever gets a "alternative" movie through these days. Or those days.
Attack of the 50ft Woman was a satire on the battle of the sexes, Romero's Dead series tackled alienation, racism and civilization, Labyrinth was about...

Well...Bowie's genetalia mostly, and Jennifer Connoly, but you can't make a good fantasy/sci-fi movie without some sort of trackback to the human situation.

What you can do, however, is to hide it under subtext. The "Prawns" from District 9 were given humanity in a way that the world didn't give the South Africans in District 6.

If you create a fantasy movie without a human element...you tend to get something like the Star Wars Prequels.

Add in the idea of a group of rebels running from a huge regime of Stormtroopers; who want to throw them in the Trash compactor, and you may have a good allegory - don't you George Bomberger and Steven Spielberg?

SO yea I mostly agree with you cause when you make a film with cool effects but no soul you get stuff like Toy Soldiers or the most recent Transformers movies. The kind of thing Monty Python might have been satirizing in The Holy Grail when Tim the wizard spends a minuet just blowing shit up.

Saw a preview for Monsters on the upcoming new films, and it seemed interesting...seems like Saw VII was slightly better than this movie.

I think I was in the same boat as moviebob here. I was really looking forward to this in the same way he was, and I was hoping that it would make up for not having seen District 9 yet. Though in the back of my mind I figured this would be the result. Well I guess I better just go buy District 9 on DVD and watch it instead.

Interesting. I've always wondered in every movie that I've seen like this why the protagonists have to hitchhike quite so far across the country to get out.

For example, if you find yourself stranded in Manchester, why try and make your way across the entirety of Britain to get to Dover and then Calais, instead of heading to Morecambe, where you are perfectly able to get a boat just as functional as one in Dover? (This isn't a situation from a story I've found, just an example.)

Why try and walk to America if Mexico is closer, why try and walk to Mexico if America is the closer border? It smacks of the writers trying to make the story longer than it should be. (Other addendums to this rant include why no one ever consistently drives, why no just pegs it at the first sign of trouble instead of after they've already been stranded and why people continue to make horrible monster/zombie/general destruction movies.)

I don't even know if any of that directly relates to this movie, but I have a feeling it just might. Anyway, haven't heard of the movie, it looks and sounds terrible, and I wouldn't have gone to see it anyway.

Man, I am very sad to here it's not that good. It looks awesome, how did it fail so much?

I understand how movie bob feels... kinda.

I work at a theatre, so I'm i charged with having to know everything about when movies come out,w hat they'll be about, good or not, who's in it, and this is all stuff that I really have no interest in finding out cause i dont want to know the movie in and out before I see it. Thats probably why I didnt give two shits for Inception and definately a big part of why I felt Avatar was over rated in its highest degree.

Side Note: Hm.... Critics dont get to see SAW 3D ahead of time to review? I wonder what THAT says about the movie.

All I needed to hear was it's like M night directing cloverfield and I know how bad this movie is. Really that's all you needed to say about this movie to make it sound like crap.

Ashoten:
The kind of thing Monty Python might have been satirizing in The Holy Grail when Tim the wizard spends a minuet just blowing shit up.

Look at how many messages were in that though.

Chivalry/BDSM : "Naughty Zoot"
Foolhardiness: "Brave Sir Robin"
Trojan Myths: "So, we get out of the wooden rabbit."
Anglo-Gaul Relations: "I fart in your general direction!"
Monarchy : "Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!"
Sound Effects: "Are you saying coconuts migrate?"
Quest Guardians: "African or European Swallow?" "I don't know thaAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Animation/CGI: "When suddenly the animator had a heart attack."
Writing, Quest Givers, Magic Help, Religious Artifacts, Monsters with horrible, nasty, pointy teeth...

Most fantasy survives on its realistic parts, surprisingly. Ni!

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