Shamus Plays WoW #2: Toiling in the Kobold Mines

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Shamus Plays WoW #2: Toiling in the Kobold Mines

Who knew Kobolds came in such a wide variety of flavors? Other than Marshall McBride, obviously.

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I love this! Putting real character into the let's plays is awesome, and it's definitely an improvement, to me, than the utter downer of idiocy the last LP was. (not on your part, on the games part.)

Heheh. The thing I love about Let's Play is that it points out the complete nonsense that comprises most MMO "storylines."

I played the first couple levels of the human campaign, and it hit really close to home!

Heh, loving this series of Shamus Plays. I've never played a human (For the Horde and all that jazz) but if it's anything like the Troll/Orc/Undead starting areas, well... I feel sorry for Gobstab. It's going to be a loooong road paved with facepalms.

What if Eagan had said to you straight up, 'I collect animal pelts for a living. If you'll bring me the pelts of eight dangerous, disease-ridden wolves I'll give you these tiny shoes.' Would you have agreed to that?"

It's funny because that was the exact quest before they revised it (well, except the wolves weren't diseased, but wev).

We're working for Marshal McBride, head of the local militia.

And for just a second my brain processed that as "Marshall McLuhan".

I always wondered about the starting quests. "GO kill me 8 of those" GOOD! "Now kill me 12 of those and grab their collars" Perfect "now go fetch me this" But it's 10 feet away "I SAID GET IT!"

Heh.. it could be worse. In one quest for the Dwarves you are asked to go fetch a book from a dwarf in the library... Asked by another dwarf STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO HIM. Within arm's reach.

The best I can figure they had an argument and this was one of those 'I'm not talking to HIM snit, but you tell him...' snits.

I look forward to more demon picking apart the idiocy of the human quest chains... there's so much material to work from.

I like this series! Reminds me of my first character back at release (well, a month after, during Christmas break) and I made a human mage.

Keep it up!

I definitely had doubts about McBride's competence :D

This post shows an appalling lack of research. Where is the journalistic integrity?

The Kobold Workers belong to the National Kobold Workers' Party, following Flzwump the Third, whose role in the Silver Age should be familiar to students of diminutive history.

The Kobold Laborers belong to the Kobold Labor National Party, which separated from the National Kobold Workers' Party following their controversial decision to establish amicable relations with the Northern People's Party for Kobold Unity.

The Kobold Peasants are a hereditary caste with an ancestral right to labor in the fields of the nobility, but not the mines or the forests.

Recent immigrants and children who have not yet become eligible to join one of the Kobold Local Underclass Unions are referred to simply as Kobolds.

Wonderful job Shamus. This series is ilarious!

I can't help thinking of Nashkel when I see kobold and mine in the same sentence. Ah, the good old days. Gibbering, crazy mage casting spells at kobolds. Raving lunatic barbarian with a hampster hacking away at kobolds. Yup, better days.

Oooh! Is it cryptogram time? It's cryptogram time! (Clap clap.) Cryptogram time!

(...)

I'm thinking something dirty.

The pelt skinner guy actually used to just ask you to collect pelts. Not entirely sure why they changed it, because it does make his name rather suspect.

Wierd how you go from 40c a quest to 13g a quest in just 67 levels.

It's an improvement, but still needs more funny.

More funny, Shamus! Grab your funny barrel out of the cellar and pop the funny lid. No use keeping it for rainy days, you know.

Nothing more enjoyable on the internet then watching someone get screwed over.

..... or cute animals doing cute things.....

This makes me LOL so hard xD

I have a level 80 Warlock and I imagine his Voidwalker thinks very negatively of him.

nekoali:
Heh.. it could be worse. In one quest for the Dwarves you are asked to go fetch a book from a dwarf in the library... Asked by another dwarf STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO HIM. Within arm's reach.

The best I can figure they had an argument and this was one of those 'I'm not talking to HIM snit, but you tell him...' snits.

It could be worse in darkshire a guy asks you to deliver a letter for him. He's standing outside a house, like right at the open door. To whom does he want you to deliver the letter you ask? TO THE GUY THAT WALKS IN AND OUT OF THE HOUSE AND SOMETIMES STOPS FOR A CHAT WITH THE QUESTGIVER.

I do hope you're planning to move on from ragging on the silly quests though. Devoting TWO Let's Play to it is stretching the joke as it is.

How amusing. well done Shamus!

pffh:

nekoali:
Heh.. it could be worse. In one quest for the Dwarves you are asked to go fetch a book from a dwarf in the library... Asked by another dwarf STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO HIM. Within arm's reach.

The best I can figure they had an argument and this was one of those 'I'm not talking to HIM snit, but you tell him...' snits.

It could be worse in darkshire a guy asks you to deliver a letter for him. He's standing outside a house, like right at the open door. To whom does he want you to deliver the letter you ask? TO THE GUY THAT WALKS IN AND OUT OF THE HOUSE AND SOMETIMES STOPS FOR A CHAT WITH THE QUESTGIVER.

Ahh, but clearly the questgiver has a HUGE secret crush on Wandering Around Guy. I can imagine the text of this letter:

Do U Like ME?

Check 1:

Yes
No

Heh.

But from a gameplay perspective, would it make these inane quests any better if they asked you to deliver the letter to some yahoo waaaaay out in the middle of nowhere? (Preferably one that's a huge pain in the ass to get to, also.)

It'd be overall better writing if, instead of asking you for help, the questgivers ACTED like they were giving you useless make-work BECAUSE YOU ARE A LOW-LEVEL SCHMUCK AND BASICALLY USELESS. I mean, you already WANT to level AND get money just by virtue of the fact that you're playing the game, so it's not like they NEED to pander to your ego by pretending that you killing eight kobolds is some kind of world-saving emergency.

It'd sound so much better if the questgivers said something like: "Oh for crying out loud, not another one of you wet-behind-the-ears snot-nosed kids. Oh well, guess I'd better find SOMETHING for you to do. Wait, here's one that looks to be about your speed--one of the lazy-ass local farmers wants someone to carry 10 buckets of water from the well. I got a whole stack of jobs like this. Tell you what, you do some of these, get up enough cash to buy some basic equipment, and then maybe I can send you on something that might conceivably present some sort of challenge to an epileptic mouse. 'Kay?" They could even add some amusing subtext along the lines that it's a good thing everyone around here is so lazy or you'd NEVER be able to get up enough cash to get out of this stinkin' backwater hole. So the lowbie quests become less about you performing dumb errands and more about you scamming the locals.

Eventually getting some kind of grudging respect from a questgiver like that (after you've finally cleared out all the newbie quests) would be a lot more rewarding than the effusive praise and tiny reward you generally get from the silly makework quests.

I never did get why you couldn't be human and on the side of the horde, it's not like all humans are nice people. I mean, look at Arthas.

Nerf Ninja:
I never did get why you couldn't be human and on the side of the horde, it's not like all humans are nice people. I mean, look at Arthas.

Because neither side is good or bad they are both shades of grey. Besides if you were a human would you want to side with the guys that you and your family has fought several great wars with and from your perspective slaughtered thousands of innocent people?

"No! Stop it! As your master I command you to say something nice about Marshal McBride right now!"

I clear my throat and announce, "Marshal McBride is incredibly talented at screwing you."

Coffee-splurting funny right there.

Got a bit of "Amulet of Samarkand" feel here. It was fun to read.

I loved the conversation revolving around the demon's name :)

Julien Brightside:
Got a bit of "Amulet of Samarkand" feel here. It was fun to read.

Ah yes! I knew it reminded me of something I'd read. I agree. Awesome stuff, Shamus!

Kinda makes me wanna get WOW.

Galad:
I loved the conversation revolving around the demon's name :)

Yeah, but a real demon would never reveal his real name anyway. Although, presumably he'd have to know at least part of it to have summoned him in the first place. Isn't that the rules?

This really does make sense....all quest givers in all MMOs are actually cunning bastards putting the screw to a never-ending horde of self-deluded do-gooders seeking XP.....

Love this series, very funny! Eagerly awaiting when they reach Goldshire. Ah, the merriment to come...

Rensenhito:
Heheh. The thing I love about Let's Play is that it points out the complete nonsense that comprises most MMO "storylines."

Yeah news flash there is no storylines, none, nadda, zip, zero. It is all repetitive moronic quests which if asked to do by a real person they would ignore you and call you a lazy, manipulative, crackpot. Not to mention the fact that NPC's killed always manage to come back to life as if you did not gank them a few moments ago. Yeah the only storelines in MMO's are fan created or specifically engineered events in the higher levels and some of those are repeatable on other characters.

This story was a lot better then last weeks. It just points out that if you really think about the newbie quests that you find in most areas, the guards and people are just screwing you over because they are lazy and won't do the work themselves. When I played a human warlock, honestly I could say I really wished to side with the Burning Legion to kill them all after I was half way to level 10.

This is a very funny series. Keep up the good work!

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