Stolen Pixels #241: The Gaming Afterlife

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That was one of the best I've seen in awhile.

Valve can be excused for its release schedules. They need time to polish each game till Gabe Newell can see his entire beard reflected on it.

Imagine if all those companies combined forces.... It would be madness! Sheer madness I tell you!

John Funk:
I dunno, I think "I'm an underwater football player created by ghosts who travels through time to fight my dad, who has become Satan" is a better story than "I am a space marine, aliens are bad"...

I'll be throwing my credibility as a gamer out of the window by disagreeing with you, but I still do.

OT: Old joke, but pretty funny nonetheless.

Both jokes are very true and VERY funny.

Great job, Shamus!

Indeed, quite funny. All hail the new King of the Interwebz!

....it is 'the COOKS are French' and 'the lOVERS Italian'.......(no, french aren't good 'lovers', but they make more 'love' than the entire europe)....
....Back to the point....
Square plots are very bad (culture shock maibe?),and their cutscenes to,really it's a bunch of lightning balls and girl with wet clothes..... very original....and $$$$$$$$

demoap:
really it's a bunch of lightning balls and girl with wet clothes

Wait. Wait.

That's BAD?!

I mean, even if you hate girls in wet clothes, the lightning balls would naturally be drawn to them, cancelling out both problems.

Also I disagree, but eh.

demoap:
....it is 'the COOKS are French' and 'the lOVERS Italian'.......(no, french aren't good 'lovers', but they make more 'love' than the entire europe)....

Really? As far as I can tell they are all playing Halo Reach and speaking very quickly into the mic so I have no hope in hell of even a basic translation!

Yeah... its always weird how NPC dialogue in a Bioware game is so much better than the dialog that the PC has... well... except in Dragon Age... its pretty even in that game.

i say, instead of valve, you could have gone with blizzard for the last hell panel (starcraft 2, diablo 3, the list goes on and on). "or 3D realms," says the man on my shoulder.

Freakin' hilarious. Especially the Bioware panel And the joke seems pretty true. British cuisine is terrible but you feel safe in the steets (when I went to England I ended up eating Indian all the time, and in a pub they tried to sell me "Haggis Balls" as a great dish), Italian are disorganized as hell with good cuisine (every time I've goen there is a strike soemwher over something stupid) and French women, if they are half as good as ebd as they look, they are going to rock your world (no first person experience, but the sights are really nice) and in Switzerland everything runs like a clock but people are somewhat unfreindly.

this is the best comic strip about gaming in the history of comic strips about gaming.

TraderJimmy:

demoap:
really it's a bunch of lightning balls and girl with wet clothes

Wait. Wait.

That's BAD?!

I mean, even if you hate girls in wet clothes, the lightning balls would naturally be drawn to them, cancelling out both problems.

Also I disagree, but eh.

shiny things and wet girl??

why dont they hire squarenix to make all the cutscenes again?????

XD Capcom cutscenes. Makes me think of DMC4. "Oh hey, this is pretty cool. Why can't I do this?"

Ha, that was hilarious. The Obsidian ones...so true.

hahaha great comic Shamus. I think 99.9% of all comics suck (web or otherwise) but this one nailed it!

nearly choke on my food.

There's also an old saw about Canadians similar to the European joke that I thought I'd add:

"Canada was in the unique position of being able to enjoy British culture, French cuisine, and American technology. Instead what they got was American culture, British cuisine, and French technology."

Great comic all around Shamus! (I myself would have gone with "only a little" to the ball-punching question, though.)

HentMas:

TraderJimmy:

demoap:
really it's a bunch of lightning balls and girl with wet clothes

Wait. Wait.

That's BAD?!

I mean, even if you hate girls in wet clothes, the lightning balls would naturally be drawn to them, cancelling out both problems.

Also I disagree, but eh.

shiny things and wet girl??

why dont they hire squarenix to make all the cutscenes again?????

Cutscenes tend to demonstrate important pieces of the game design (being it interactive or not), taking the player out of the protagonist posicion, making them a mere spectator. It is a momentary feature of the game and should not be used just to have wet girls on the escrem...

Absolutely brilliant! Especially the last line (We're gonna need more time than that").

Anyway, I've played most Bioware games but I still don't get why they're both the best (well, I do get that) and the worst.

This was probably the funniest Stolen Pixels EVER!

Well that was pretty funny. I have to agree with all your choices for who does what with the game.

"But... zis game iz perfekt!" We can do better than that!"

Of course its entirely true that Valve is extremly bad when it comes to coming out with games at the right time. They are able to come out with Portal, TF2, all the TF2 updates, and both L4Ds but they still have yet to come out with Episode 3 for HL2. The only other company that I can think of that comes out with games so slowly is Blizzard, but then that would ruin the comic.

All in all very funny. And I also liked the little thing on Europeans towards the bottom.

Vorocano:
There's also an old saw about Canadians similar to the European joke that I thought I'd add:

"Canada was in the unique position of being able to enjoy British culture, French cuisine, and American technology. Instead what they got was American culture, British cuisine, and French technology."

Great comic all around Shamus! (I myself would have gone with "only a little" to the ball-punching question, though.)

Renegade!

I found that pretty funny, the square story though.. I liked how it sounded.

That was perfect, best Stolen Pixels I've read in a while.

I thought it was good and the only part where you lost me was the thing about Bioware in the hell deal.

Personally, I think that Swiss cops and German lovers could be worse...

Shamus Young:

Vorocano:
There's also an old saw about Canadians similar to the European joke that I thought I'd add:

"Canada was in the unique position of being able to enjoy British culture, French cuisine, and American technology. Instead what they got was American culture, British cuisine, and French technology."

Great comic all around Shamus! (I myself would have gone with "only a little" to the ball-punching question, though.)

Renegade!

Well, y'see, rumours abound in the dark corners of the Internet that if you're Renegade enough, it'll open the "Only if I get to punch you first" option on that wheel.

I tried. Lord knows I tried. I was so far down the Renegade scale that I once punched Saren in the face, and Liara said "Why don't you pick on someone your own size" and left the party. Even for all that, the other person's genitals remained unpunched.

Our police are pretty good! Unfortuntely, I can add one to that - in hell, the newspapers are British. The police always get a really bad rap from the press. Even when they catch someone, there are questions over whether it was appropriate or not. Give the police a break, they do what they can.

Brilliant.

Cheers! I laughed. For some reason, the crack at valve's QA vs release schedule struck me as particularly funny.

Maybe it's just my way of sublimating crushing disappointment.

That was brilliant.

One of your best ones.

Hail to the king!

John Funk:
I dunno, I think "I'm an underwater football player created by ghosts who travels through time to fight my dad, who has become Satan" is a better story than "I am a space marine, aliens are bad"...

But this is still one of the best you've ever done, Shamus :)

Agreed, Mister Funk, agreed.

OT: I liked the strip, but a few slip-ups notwithstanding, Bioware has excellent dialogue in my humble opinion.

Seems just about right to me. I think I shall use this for the nerdification of my new niece (born yesterday for the launch of Kinect, wow, she's already halfway there!) once I can start influencing her.

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