Critical Miss: Noobgrues

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Noobgrues

The average Call of Duty player is about as well equipped to play Zork as I am to eat the sun.

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It's weird they should put Zork in. Why would the average CoD player want to play a text-based game, even as just a diversion? Or, better still, would the average CoD player even know what a text-based game is, or how to play one?

"Quickscope Grue"

I actually scared the cat from laughing so hard.

Andronicus:
It's weird they should put Zork in. Why would the average CoD player want to play a text-based game, even as just a diversion? Or, better still, would the average CoD player even know what a text-based game is, or how to play one?

I resent that! I am an average CoD player and have played a couple of text-based games in my time.

OT: "Quickscope Grue" made me laugh

Goddamn GRUES man, they just hide in darkness, waiting for you to walk in without any obvious light sources and DEVOUR YOU.

Plus, they're like, totally 0 ping, so they've devoured you even though you've already emptied an entire clip of ammo straight into their face seconds before!.

ALSO, they've got fucking MARATHON + COMMANDO + LIGHTWEIGHT EQUIPPED, so they fucking run around killing people without using guns. HOW DARE THE DEVELOPERS PURPOSEFULLY DESIGN AND INTEGRATE AN OBVIOUS HACK INTO THEIR GAME.

ha zork... what a classic!
id have probably got black ops if id known Zork was on there... mind you it is free to play online somewheres

I was playing Zork over at a friends yesterday and he and his brother where finding it rather strange that I was enjoying it, they just wanted to play zombies...uncultured fools.

You average Cod player is barely adequatly equipped to do up his own fly, i don't think 90% of the CoD audience will be aware adventure games ever existed, nevermind text adventure games or something demanding creative thought or any kind of reasoned choice.

I know people who have given up on Half Life 2 becuase it dosen't tell you exactly where to go and hold your hand and every monent. I mean Half Life 2 isn't exactly the least linier game in human history and they can't even cope with that. Nevermind that most people think if you aren't shooting at something RIGHT NOW the game is "Boring". I would love to see the results of a CoD head attempting to survive in the zone of exclusion. There's no regenerating health here boy, quite the opposite if you hit radiation.

I guess to get to a wider audience things need to be acessible and i do get that (that's the main point of motion controls, simplicity. but people MUST realise that for more complex tasks a controller/ M=KB are infinitely better) but there is 'acressible' and down right 'played for you'

Scrumpmonkey:
You average Cod player is barely adequatly equipped to do up his own fly, i don't think 90% of the CoD audience will be aware adventure games ever existed, nevermind text adventure games or something demanding creative thought or any kind of reasoned choice.

I know people who have given up on Half Life 2 becuase it dosen't tell you exactly where to go and hold your hand and every monent. I mean Half Life 2 isn't exactly the least linier game in human history and they can't even cope with that. Nevermind that most people think if you aren't shooting at something RIGHT NOW the game is "Boring". I would love to see the results of a CoD head attempting to survive in the zone of exclusion. There's no regenerating health here boy, quite the opposite if you hit radiation.

I guess to get to a wider audience things need to be acessible and i do get that (that's the main point of motion controls, simplicity. but people MUST realise that for more complex tasks a controller/ M=KB are infinitely better) but there is 'acressible' and down right 'played for you'

I think people have given up on Half-Life 2 because Ep. 3 is about a billion years late.

Poor Gabe Newell, if only he hadn't discovered the all-you-can-eat buffet down the road...

"Quickscope Grue" Made me laugh out loud, also, scored 290 at Zork when I finished it... or to be accurate, when it finished me =3

But I have to admit I laugh to the irony, a non linear game hidden in a linear game? Too genious to be a coincidence.

The_root_of_all_evil:
"Quickscope Grue"

I actually scared the cat from laughing so hard.

I was laughing too....until I found out I couldn't quickscope...

Did they really include Zork? I think this is some kind of Critical Miss joke I'm not getting (again x_x)

The last frame in this is incredible.

Best comic so far IMO

GeneticallyModifiedDucks:
Did they really include Zork? I think this is some kind of Critical Miss joke I'm not getting (again x_x)

Indeed they did include Zork. I have absolutely no idea why.

Scrumpmonkey:
You average Cod player is barely adequatly equipped to do up his own fly, i don't think 90% of the CoD audience will be aware adventure games ever existed, nevermind text adventure games or something demanding creative thought or any kind of reasoned choice.

I know people who have given up on Half Life 2 becuase it dosen't tell you exactly where to go and hold your hand and every monent. I mean Half Life 2 isn't exactly the least linier game in human history and they can't even cope with that. Nevermind that most people think if you aren't shooting at something RIGHT NOW the game is "Boring". I would love to see the results of a CoD head attempting to survive in the zone of exclusion. There's no regenerating health here boy, quite the opposite if you hit radiation.

I guess to get to a wider audience things need to be acessible and i do get that (that's the main point of motion controls, simplicity. but people MUST realise that for more complex tasks a controller/ M=KB are infinitely better) but there is 'acressible' and down right 'played for you'

People gave up on HL2? Seriously?

I'm one of the worst people for getting lost on games, and I only used a walkthrough once.

Half-Life 1 on the other hand... :P

It's got Zork? Now I'm interested in playing the game.

Muddy-Brown, just the way Grues like it...

*snork*

Yet another one to add to my "must print out and hang up" list.

Another brilliant Critical Miss! "Quickscope Grue" and "Fucking [grue] campers!" FTW.

Heh heh. "Quickscope Grue" "I don't know the word 'quickscope'" Take that quickscopers! Quickscoping is dead! Long may it rest!

"Oh no a lurking grue slithered into the room and devoured you!" "FUCKING CAMPERS!" Eh more like a marthon-lightweight-commando. Shoulda had his akimbo 1887 shotguns ready.

Very nice, very funny.

I heard the PC version of blackops is really bad thanks to the lag problems.

They nerfed quickscoping which fine by me because i never use sniper rifles in MW.MW2 gameplay. I hate quickscopers anyway.

That was a perfect place for the classic "FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

How else to respond to this one other than...
LOL!

That made me LoL

When worlds collide, for sure. Hilarious!

The second I heard they added Zork I new I would be depressed the next day when the kids in my class would start talking about it, and rip on Zork. I was right.

Scrumpmonkey:
You average Cod player is barely adequatly equipped to do up his own fly, i don't think 90% of the CoD audience will be aware adventure games ever existed, nevermind text adventure games or something demanding creative thought or any kind of reasoned choice.

I know people who have given up on Half Life 2 becuase it dosen't tell you exactly where to go and hold your hand and every monent. I mean Half Life 2 isn't exactly the least linier game in human history and they can't even cope with that. Nevermind that most people think if you aren't shooting at something RIGHT NOW the game is "Boring". I would love to see the results of a CoD head attempting to survive in the zone of exclusion. There's no regenerating health here boy, quite the opposite if you hit radiation.

I guess to get to a wider audience things need to be acessible and i do get that (that's the main point of motion controls, simplicity. but people MUST realise that for more complex tasks a controller/ M=KB are infinitely better) but there is 'acressible' and down right 'played for you'

You just perfectly described everyone I know in real life. (With the exception of two people.)
This is why I refuse to get Facebook, because then these people would just annoy me even more when they see what I do in my spare time, and think I'm a loser for liking good games. Thank god they don't have Steam, they're too busy playing Call Of Duty and Halo religiously.

I may have to download Zork, I can't be arsed with buying Black Ops.

I used to love MUDs. That was funny :)

Bek359:

GeneticallyModifiedDucks:
Did they really include Zork? I think this is some kind of Critical Miss joke I'm not getting (again x_x)

Indeed they did include Zork. I have absolutely no idea why.

I have been wondering the same thing. Unless they had extra space on the disk and needed to make it look like they didn't rip you off. You know, like with CDs that have 15 minutes of silence after the last song.

Also, replay value.

Grue.....

image

I apologieze if this offends anyone, but I needed a pivture of "shaking fist in anger" and this is what popped up.

Scrumpmonkey:
You average Cod player is barely adequatly equipped to do up his own fly, i don't think 90% of the CoD audience will be aware adventure games ever existed, nevermind text adventure games or something demanding creative thought

Ah yes the classic creative thought method of clicking random inventory items on random things in the environment in the hopes something will happen because you already tried the things that made sense and they didn't work. And who could forget the classic 'you missed the all important item that there was no indication of it mattering or even that you could pick it up and now you can't go back and get it so the game is unwinnable. have fun starting back at the beginning asshole! Oh, and were not going to tell you where you screwed up either, or even that you screwed up at all.'

TimeLord:

Andronicus:
It's weird they should put Zork in. Why would the average CoD player want to play a text-based game, even as just a diversion? Or, better still, would the average CoD player even know what a text-based game is, or how to play one?

I resent that! I am an average CoD player and have played a couple of text-based games in my time.

OT: "Quickscope Grue" made me laugh

You must be part of a rare breed of high intellectual folks that roam CoD in order to keep some kind of hopeless balance of maturity and sanity. Good luck to you folks.

No amount of multiple zombie shooting, good advertising, and classic text games are going to make me buy this... ohh fuck it. You win Treyarch I'll get it later today.

archvile93:

Scrumpmonkey:
You average Cod player is barely adequatly equipped to do up his own fly, i don't think 90% of the CoD audience will be aware adventure games ever existed, nevermind text adventure games or something demanding creative thought

Ah yes the classic creative thought method of clicking random inventory items on random things in the environment in the hopes something will happen because you already tried the things that made sense and they didn't work. And who could forget the classic 'you missed the all important item that there was no indication of it mattering or even that you could pick it up and now you can't go back and get it so the game is unwinnable. have fun starting back at the beginning asshole! Oh, and were not going to tell you where you screwed up either, or even that you screwed up at all.'

You've been playing Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy, then.

Delusibeta:

archvile93:

Scrumpmonkey:
You average Cod player is barely adequatly equipped to do up his own fly, i don't think 90% of the CoD audience will be aware adventure games ever existed, nevermind text adventure games or something demanding creative thought

Ah yes the classic creative thought method of clicking random inventory items on random things in the environment in the hopes something will happen because you already tried the things that made sense and they didn't work. And who could forget the classic 'you missed the all important item that there was no indication of it mattering or even that you could pick it up and now you can't go back and get it so the game is unwinnable. have fun starting back at the beginning asshole! Oh, and were not going to tell you where you screwed up either, or even that you screwed up at all.'

You've been playing Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy, then.

King's Quest and Space Quest actually. My dad had a few that a tried, I didn't like them. Text games are even worse.

Example: The door to the room I'm in is locked, there is a key on the table.
Me: take key
Game: I can't do that
M: Get key
G: I can't do that
M: Grab key
G: I can't do that
M (starting to get annoyed): pick up key
G: I can't do that
M: Why won't this fucking thing work!? *thinks for a moment* walk over to table
G: You are now in arms reach of the key
M: pick up key
G: I can't do that (I didn't word it right most likely)
M: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-!

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