Zero Punctuation: Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II

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So true. So, so true. I thought the first one was a waste of my time, really. This one i've actually finished, but it's even less complex than the first and keeps the same amount of stupidity though fixing a few blatantly broken mechanics.

God, nothing can spell exaggerated fanservice more than this game.

Oh, and i'll add Jedi Knight to the "good games" pile next to KoToR.

So did Yahtzee review the 360/PS3 version this time or end up playing the Wii version again? Because I'm not the one to think that Yahtzee ever learns his lesson when it comes to these kinds of things.

I wish I could still like Star Wars stuff. But while I'll never turn away from the original trilogy, everything since has been an insult. And it's an insult we have to pay for. *sigh*

Now excuse me, I've got to go pick up Force Unleashed 2.

Honestly didn't have a huge problem with the first. However as soon as I heard the plot was, "Vader decides to clone Starkiller" My head hit the desk and I vowed not to get this game.

Well... of course he is right about everything, like always, but I still consider this a fun casual game. I like mutilating stormtroopers now and then, and the practically nonexistent story makes it even easier to just jump in and out of the game for a quick fix.

And who needs money after all?

Who still likes Star Wars anyway?

I personally think the Legos are just about the only thing fun about Star Wars these days, although the Lucasfilm-based Legos do make me long for the days when Lego focused on their own original designs instead of solely on licensed IPs... Ah, the good old days of Magnetron, Blacktron, and the original Space Police.

Hell, I watched the original trilogy a few months back, and I remember thinking that (aside from Yoda's lines) most of the dialogue in that movie was only about two notches above prequel trilogy standards.

Although I would have added Jedi Knight II, the TIE Fighter PC game, and the Clone Wars cartoons (the ones made by the creators of Samurai Jack, not the all-CG ones) to the list of good Star Wars stuff, I have to say I'm pretty disappointed. I thought Force Unleashed was a pretty awesome concept, but it's hard to feel awesome about being having nifty powers if you never have any creative ways to use them.

He doesn't consider Jedi Academy or Jedi Outcast good games?!

RAAAAAAR!!!

I like the first one, because it was something PC gaming didn't have for quite a while - Devil May Cry-ish game. Except DMC, of course, there was nothing.

RebellionXXI:
the Clone Wars cartoons (the ones made by the creators of Samurai Jack, not the all-CG ones)

Oh geez, now I know why I liked it so much. SAMURAI JACK IS THE BEST CARTOON MADE EVER! And everything they did turns to gold. Or something like that shiny.

All the Star Wars episodes,endless pile of books(That I haven't read), T.V. shows, Merchandise collectable toys that have not real collectable value, and anything else even slightly Star Wars related is Totally Awesome! Except for The Force Unleashed games of course. If they are gonna piss all over the cannon this badly we might a well be fighting Zombie, Nazi, Ninja, Wookie, Cyborgs that are on fire and fly around in a space gallion. That would be a little bit more interesting then plan old stromtroopers whom Harrison Ford could take out with a tiny "pew pew" laser pistol.

Addendum:

No one blooms that fast....unless its an anime.

at least i now got my friend's riddle on "what does sonic and star wars have in common?".

I absolutely loved the story and the game. It's extremely short yes but the amazing story and best looking graphics ever combined with a fun and great combat system makes this the best game I've played all year. And I've played New Vegas, Mass Effect 2, Fable III and Alpha Protocol among others....sorry I have no taste whatsoever for any shooter game ever.

Very nice, pretty much exactly the way I felt after completing it and I really wanted to like it too. Hell, he didn't even go into the shitty control issues.

My friend wouldn't stop playing this demo, rented it, then told us how heartcrushingly disappointing it was.

nice episode, but my sound was alightly off and I lost a bet about which game you were going to review.

Star wars bountttyy hunnnterrr. I loved that game. Pretty lame, but jango is a badass.

I thought tfu 2 came out a while ago, but I guess that in australia... yeah. Great review. The comparison to Schindler's easy bake oven was wonderfully cringeworthy.

Why was Tie Fighter and X-Wing not on the pile of "Good Stuff From Star Wars"? I mean, I know they're ancient history now, but those were some pretty enjoyable space flight combat simulators, even if it got sort of ridiculous in Tie Fighter in the end where you're something like Grand Fleet Admiral Of the Entire Empire and they're sticking you in a Tie Fighter.

Man, whatever happened to the Space Flight Combat Simulator genre? Those things were awesome.

More on topic: Played the first game for like thirty minutes after buying it when it was cheap during a Steam Sale. The game took approximately an entire day to download as it's something like 20 GB in size (wtf?). I don't mind the loss of the ten dollars, but I do wish I'd spent that day of downloading playing something fun online instead. I expected the sequel to not be any better, which Yahtzee's review seems to confirm.

I'd be more surprised if quality were somehow required for making a Star Wars title.

How do you fowl up being a magic knight with a laser sword?
Shame, cause a good star wars game rocks (rogue squadron, n64)

Dead_Man:
I probably wouldn't mention anything about the 3 Death Stars super glued together to George Lucas. He may end up using that for his next game.

oh God no ....

diggy140892:
I have to agree that this game is the biggest insult to Star Wars fans, WHERE IS BATTLEFRONT 3!!!!!!!!!!!

Even more so then The Old Republic?

I don't understand why 14 year old boys like Justin Bieber get some much criticism on these boards when George Lucas is a 60 year old man who has spent the last 30 years of his life shoving a totally shit franchise down our throats.

WILL STAR WARS NEVER DIE? There are like 4 million episodes of Star Trek and we hear fuck all from them except a movie every 5 years. With Star Wars, a franchise based on 2 decent films, we have a game, a movie, a dvd, a book, a comic released every damn week it seems.

quantumsaint:
I wanted to play it just to play through as Guybrush.

Yeah, how do you play as Guybrush exactly?

Rasputin1:
Is it just me or did the mic/his voice sound a little off?

I don't know, but I know I've had more sex than you!

*tries to correctly guess where your avatar is from by referencing the video I think it's from*

Ashoten:
If they are gonna piss all over the cannon this badly we might a well be fighting Zombie, Nazi, Ninja, Wookie, Cyborgs that are on fire and fly around in a space gallion. That would be a little bit more interesting then plan old stromtroopers whom Harrison Ford could take out with a tiny "pew pew" laser pistol.

Actually, that'd be an improvement compared to the stuff Star Wars is doing now.

Yahtzee is on a roll again!

Fallout New Vegas last week, now this. Great reviews from a great critic. Notice I said critic not reviewer. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE.

No Black Ops? D'awww... anywho, can't say I care too much about this game. Just recently was given TFU1 (friend bought it for me for $6, because why not) and it doesn't seem too bad...then again I've put maybe an hour into it. Meh, never been too big of a star wars fan...the movies (all THREE of them) were all excellent (RotJ less so than the others, though) and like you said, KOTOR was, too. I'd also say the Battlefront, Republic Commando, and Jedi Knight games were all pretty good-great, too, but that's a matter of opinion. Star Wars is still alive for me, but that's really more because I refuse to acknowledge any of it that annoys me.

the only thing star wars related i am slightly interested in stays TOR. But this thing most likely won't come out before i leave the warm embrace of higher learning and actually have to work for money so fuck that

btw i want that easy bake oven with Liam Neesons voice telling me my brownies are ready

I wish I didn't....but I have to agree with pretty much every point he made.

Repetitive, unchallenging, and WAY too damn short.
And just like Episode 2, if we cut out any inference of the annoying 'love interest' angle (yeah yeah...we get it.....you HAVE to find her)....I might have hated it less.

There was a few bright spots.....like grabbing a Tie Fighter out of the air and crushing it like a tin can. But even that got boring after a while.

Hopefully all Jedi in the new Star Wars MMO are as powerful as Starkiller here.....
Cuz a couple of thousand of these demigods running around are gonna completely sink the franchise in the first week of launch.

' )

Do you have to defend the prequel trilogy and all the other garbage Lucas has spewed out at us in the past decade to be a true Star Wars fan? Because I consider myself a fan and I hate over 90% of all Star Wars related media. I thought that's how it was for most fans. Live and learn.

As for The Force Unleashed, the first game was pretty fun even though the gameplay needed a lot of polish and the story was fucking retarded. I was hoping they'd make things work in TFU2 yet I've heard nothing but bad things about it. That's extremely disappointing.

I guess we'll just have to hope The Old Republic is good.

I'm glad I decided to distance myself from Star Wars as a whole after Jedi Academy 1 & 2 (which I actually enjoyed, don't hurt me!), so I wouldn't have to deal with all of this on a personal level, but I still find myself amazed about just how much it has been milked. I'm strugling to even come close to anything else that has been milked this furiously, can you?
OO

(Sigh) I'm sure I will be added to his list of people who he mocks and have no idea what they're talking about, but I love the books. Well, the ones that take place after Return of the Jedi anyway (that makes me a fan boy, doesn't it?). Invincible, the one he showed at the beginning, was one of my favorite ones of this "new generation."

This review was still hilarious though. Thank you for clearing up how someone who DIED at the end of the first game is suddenly alive and well. I was baffled by that, and since I refuse to play these games--or take two seconds to look it up on the internet--that bit of info was appreciated. Kind of shows how bad the writing can be in the Star Wars universe.

harv3034:
I kind of enjoyed the first, mostly for the utter insanity of it (and the fact that force lightning is pretty much the games "oh fuck this" button).

I'm not surprised about this, he absolutly tore the first one into an unrecognizable pile of gorey chunks so the fact that he did the same again is par for the course.

I'd like to know what console he played it on. Did he play it the Wii againg for the sake of consistancy or on 360 or PS3 in another of his ever so subtle attempts to tell the Wii to go fuck it self?

I'd think he would've learned his lesson from buying games for the Wii instead of PS3.

Abedeus:
SAMURAI JACK IS THE BEST CARTOON MADE EVER!

I have to disagree. Batman: The Animated Series was the best cartoon ever made.

OT: Why did you even subject yourself to this torture Yahtzee? I mean seriously, if you hated the first, it is a proven fact in the Star Wars universe that whatever comes after will only be a bucket of twice digested dog crap with fanboy packaging. Yes, I'm talking about the second "trilogy" that I wasted money on seeing. (I'm still mad at Lucas for that)

I don't know what games that have come out, but I played the demo for this, and I wish I'd have warned you to stay away from it. In the end though, I laughed anyways so your pain is my humor.

First two films and KoToR. wtf

Yahtzee doesn't like RoTJ? Sure, it was overall the worst of the three, though the scenes in the throne room were some of the best in the trilogy, and the ewoks suck, but it's by no means a bad film overall.

Other than that I agree with everything he said about everything else star wars related beyond KoToR and the OT, being shit.

Also, good review etc blah blah blah

I'm kind of surprised batman and darth vader haven't fought yet. They are both over hyped and boring.

George Lucas vomiting through a pen

LOL, that's a good one. I would like to add my vomit to it as well. I got the first one, but not the second one. After playing the demo for the second one, I was thinking it couldn't fool me again.

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