Zero Punctuation: Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II

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Slimshad:
Why have you been reviewing these kinds of games? Like you said in your EP, they're repetitive, and stink of filler before the Christmas season. Review some old games, at least they would be a trifle entertaining.

Because 9/10 people want him to.

So wait... When you clone a Jedi the clone is as powerful as the original??? Well why the hell don't they make a Jedi clone army? In the first movie (by that I mean Ep. 1) they mention that the clones were altered to make them more obedient, so why not take someone (lets say Darth Maul) who is powerful AND a Sith by choice, clone him a bajillion times and make him follow orders really well. Or even alter them to be MORE powerful.

Forget the death star! Send down a Jedi army 10,000 strong and let them wipe the planet clean in a matter of days, leaving the planet and resources still intact. Who would be able to stand up to a huge Jedi army?? Maybe I'm just over-thinking this or something...

I played this on the PC and yeah it wasn't all that great. The demo was fun but basically the game is the demo X5. There were a few good moments but the majority is going room to room killing the same enemies, and moving a few different objects to progress. Given the powers at your disposal environmental puzzles would've been nice. Only thing I can really commend this game on is the graphics and the cutscenes the facial animations were great. The endings were stupid both light and dark. The dark one I predict will just open up for DLC.

qbanknight:
Who still likes Star Wars? Fanboys in denial from hell

This is true. All take 5 seconds to contemplate this.

Bah! Give me a Jedi Knight 4 and then we'll talk!

Akalabeth:

Slimshad:
Why have you been reviewing these kinds of games? Like you said in your EP, they're repetitive, and stink of filler before the Christmas season. Review some old games, at least they would be a trifle entertaining.

Because 9/10 people want him to.

Because 9/10 people want the new games option? Or the other way around? Because most of the people I've heard want him to review their favorite titles, which happens to be older games 80% of the time. It doesn't even have to be older games, they can just be something new, some new material to cover. Just give a break to the mainstream bull#$*@ that splurges out of the sequel machine.

I was hoping this would be Sonic Colors(seeing as it came out in Australia first(seriously, Wtf?)), which most people consider to be a good game. D'oh well. And by the way, I actually kind of like this game. I mean, it's mindless fun, and since when were the controls and visuals bad?

as wrong as it was, I have to admit the Schindler's List oven joke made me laugh

hahaha. the first one was fun thought

Man, am I glad I resisted my friends(?) pressure to buy these two games.

niceguy191:
So wait... When you clone a Jedi the clone is as powerful as the original??? Well why the hell don't they make a Jedi clone army? In the first movie (by that I mean Ep. 1) they mention that the clones were altered to make them more obedient, so why not take someone (lets say Darth Maul) who is powerful AND a Sith by choice, clone him a bajillion times and make him follow orders really well. Or even alter them to be MORE powerful.

Fanboy moment: Mass producing Jedi that are battle-ready from birth tend to leave them mentally unstable. Evidentally the Force is too powerful for technical "newborns" and drives them insane. (The stormtroopers can be breed massively because there are ways to immunize them from reactions to the Force at birth, but that means no Jedi powers.) This exact idea was explored in the sequel book "Heir to the Empire."

But then again, that's pretending the Star Wars universe has continuity. :)

Jesus Christ, that bit at the very end is BLISTERING.

One of the most hilarious reviews in a looong time.

I watched this review just after I watched the reviews Plinkett did of Episode I and II.

The internet has reached maximum awesomeness.

You know what? I used to like Star Wars. I suppose you could call me a reformed fanboy...if there is such a thing. The first three films had the sort of charm that was simple and universally accessible. You can tell that it did because after you think about the first films for a while, you can't put your finger on why they were good, they just were. But as a point that has been raised elsewhere, the longer a property like this goes on, the more material you have to add to it, keep compatible with what came beforehand etc, and you have lost that simplicity that originally made it great.

This shows my ignorance and is perhaps proof of my lost mantle of fanboy, but I was under the impression that Lucas wrote the first three films. Did he not?

I saw George Lucas once say how he copes with all this criticism of the new Star Wars things, i.e. he totally shrugs it off. He offers that kids today who had no exposure to the original films only know the property through the Clone Wars et al, and they just love it.

Yahtzee:
Could almost have been written by George Lucas himself.

That may be one of the most insulting things Yahtzee has ever said about any game. Ever.

Kulingile:

eyedonutkair:

Slimshad:
Why have you been reviewing these kinds of games? Like you said in your EP, they're repetitive, and stink of filler before the Christmas season. Review some old games, at least they would be a trifle entertaining.

Agreed. Why not review less popular games that are actually fun to play. I'd give you a list of games I think should be reviewed, but I think I'll put out the flames before they're posted. >.>

Well didn't Yahtzee say that people didn't like it when he talked positively about a game, like his review of Psychonauts. Most people enjoy watching a game get torn to shreds.

Good point. In that case, however, why did he review a game that everyone already knew sucked? :P lol

Well as usual yahtzee hit the nail right on the head. TFU and TFU 2 are the BS of shovelware that made me glad that I only rented TFU for a day and returned it that very same day. Now I just hope to all the forces of good that SWTOR doesn't suck just as bad. *Sigh* Thanks Lucas you jerk.

I am a massive Star Wars fan (probably one of the largest) and i have to say that this thing does for video games what The Star Wars Holiday Special did for movies, sadly.

The_root_of_all_evil:
Star Wars is still a good franchise.

All you have to do is remove EVERYTHING that Lucas had directorial control over.

Leaving you with Star Wars, Empire, bits of Return and a few other good bits from the novels. Maybe the original RPG.
Oh, but remember it's the original, not the Enhanced versions.

Oh, and Tie Fighter.

The rest is ejaculate.

Actually, just get Joseph Campbell and Jim Henson and give them light sabres. That's the good part of Star Wars.

The game? I deleted it after a minute playing the demo. What a waste of time.

You can't make a statement like "it's still a good franchise" and then ignore a ton of the material that makes up the franchise.

That's dangerously close to the definition of denial. Thanks for proving his point.

Mathew Hay:
I am a massive Star Wars fan (probably one of the largest) and i have to say that this thing does for video games what The Star Wars Holiday Special did for movies, sadly.

I love the Holiday Special! I even converted my old betamax tape of it to dvd. It's the perfect thing for clearing a house of guests when you've had enough of them and want to go watch porn play a game. Who doesn't find a coked-up Carrier Fischer tripping over a table funny?

--------------

I still love Star Wars tho, for all the shit it's gotten itself mired in. Two of my fondest childhood memories are seeing Empire and Return in the cinema with my dad. I've still got the complete X-Wing comic and novel series too, and constantly re-read them.

Add Rogue Squadron to that list, Yahtzee. And yes, people do still like Star Wars (Although its starting to get milked like Mario with the success rate of Madden.)

So Starwars rips off the DUNE book series yet again, with "starkiller" plagiarizing from the Duncan Idaho Ghola story line.

Sad hardly anyone but me and George Lucas know about this with Frank Herbert over 20 years dead.

Yes Lucas, I know the truth!

This made my day.

Jaythulhu:

Mathew Hay:
I am a massive Star Wars fan (probably one of the largest) and i have to say that this thing does for video games what The Star Wars Holiday Special did for movies, sadly.

I love the Holiday Special! I even converted my old betamax tape of it to dvd. It's the perfect thing for clearing a house of guests when you've had enough of them and want to go watch porn play a game. Who doesn't find a coked-up Carrier Fischer tripping over a table funny?

--------------

I still love Star Wars tho, for all the shit it's gotten itself mired in. Two of my fondest childhood memories are seeing Empire and Return in the cinema with my dad. I've still got the complete X-Wing comic and novel series too, and constantly re-read them.

I still love star wars to but what i mean is that it takes away some of our respect and we need all the respect we can get

I am die hard fan of Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, Return on the Jedi and The Phantom Menace...and the last one only because it had Qui-Gon Jin and Darth Maul. Everything else that has come out with the name Star Wars on it can all go to shit.

I played TFO for like three minutes before I gave up. There is only so much fun you could have with trying to find new ways to kill something. So I'll take Yahtzee's word for it and not even rent the damn thing. I swear the love between Aniken and Amidala is exactly as he says..two chairs going at it. FANBOY RANT OVER.

Ah yes, a Burton with BOA laces. Good choice in snowboard boot Mr. Yahtzee.

I like Star Wars...

...
...
...
...
...yeah.

I really hated the Prequels, the first one was good but the other two sucked. amusing thing is Liam Neeson was Qui Gon Jinn, so they do one thing right and the series immediately becomes shit the minute Leam Neeson is gone, I'm not kidding the movies suck when they aren't either fighting or if Liam Neeson is onscreen even in phantom Menace (Qui Gon leaves to bargain with that blue guy Watto, and they immediately have 8 year old anakin start flirting with Padme, the seeds of love.) While on that topic in the Prequal series you could replace the word love with massive brain damage.
Example:
Anakin thinks Padme is going to die so he joins the Dark side because he loves her.
Anakin thinks Padme is going to die so he joins the Dark side because he has massive brain damage.
It works :)

So... that's a 'dislike' is it?

And I agree. KotOR is possibly another good Star Wars spinoff. As a series, it's had it's high points and low points.

The first was the high point, the second the low point. Apparently.

Slimshad:

Akalabeth:

Slimshad:
Why have you been reviewing these kinds of games? Like you said in your EP, they're repetitive, and stink of filler before the Christmas season. Review some old games, at least they would be a trifle entertaining.

Because 9/10 people want him to.

Because 9/10 people want the new games option? Or the other way around? Because most of the people I've heard want him to review their favorite titles, which happens to be older games 80% of the time. It doesn't even have to be older games, they can just be something new, some new material to cover. Just give a break to the mainstream bull#$*@ that splurges out of the sequel machine.

Well, I think there's probably a demand by most people for Yahtzee to review newer games. While the review is primarily intended to be entertaining, it also has to be relevant to the viewing audience and in many ways, newer games are more relevant. Also Yahtzee I think from his extra punctuation column suggests that he sometimes has to search for games that will spawn interesting reviews.

I personally wouldn't mind if he mixed it up. Though in general I don't enjoy the videos as much as I used to. I come here more for the Doraleous series. I get most of my video game reviews from Reviews on the Run. But ZP is good for a laugh on occasion. Some reviews of older games can be pretty interesting, especially if those games are available via Steam or GoG or XBLA or something like that.

Wait wait wait Yahtzee. You listed "Super Star Wars" as shit? You can't be serious.

"Darth Vader is the giant black cockend Lucasarts is sticking up your butt and you love it"

Well put, Yahtzee. Nothing else needs to be said for those Star Wars fanboys.

Tempest13:
Honestly didn't have a huge problem with the first. However as soon as I heard the plot was, "Vader decides to clone Starkiller" My head hit the desk and I vowed not to get this game.

Pretty much my reaction. I think it could have been pretty cool if they had followed the Dark Side ending and create an alternate time-line... and even then it probably would copped out and been the original Star Wars trilogy with Starkiller in the role of villain.

First Force Unleased game was okay. You were over-powered which led to the development of all sorts of super-Stormtroopers that probably would have come in handy against the Rebels, but game-wise it evened out to a decent challenge level and the story held my interest even if it didn't make sense with anything else in the Saga.

The demo for FU2 pretty much promised a crappy story and no challenge, so I wasn't even tempted to pick this one up.

Yahtzee Croshaw:
Snip

Did you play this game on the Wii like last time or did you go with the 360/PS3 one (as I assume you did)? Ironically, from what I understand from other reviewers that burned the HD console port to a crisp, that the game on the Wii is at least tolerable, even if it badly written and padded like the rest of the versians.

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