Zero Punctuation: Call of Duty: Black Ops

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Me too, the multi-player is no excuse for a shitty overrated game. This does not mean I am a halo fan either!

I still haven`t bought it yet, but the "story" has me intrigued and i am going to buy it sooner or later,sum time next year but only after playing deus ex, crysis 2, dead space 2, BioShock Infinite, Batman: Arkham City....hmm mabe i wont get it afterall:P

Great Review Yahtzee^_^

Oh my, an anti-US rant...again.

Yahtzee, I love your reviews, but can you calm your anti-America hard-on a little? I realize you get a major erection whenever an opportunity comes to bash "the damn Yanks", or whatver you want to call us, but seriously???

Comparing Call of Duty games to America is like comparing Prince Charles to Brit-land. Do you really think countries are completely characterized by their most hardcore stereotypes and idiots??

Cut us some slack. I don't give a sh*t about CoD, and I'm American. I don't need to go to war to gain some f*cking humility because I've already got enough humility. I never said America was better than England or Australia or any other country.

For the love of God or anything else you hold dear, cut the anti-America bullsh*t from your otherwise excellent reviews! I like hating on things as much as the next guy, but if all you want to do is somehow relate sh*tty games to how much you can't stand the USA, you're going to become an incoherent idiot that only your most hardcore fans will continue to listen to.

Try insulting some other countries for once. Maybe a Middle-Eastern country, if ye have the balls. Heck, I'm giving awards to anyone who can insult Islam with the same passion as they insult Christianity and Judaism. But most people, like you, tend to stick to the safe/tired topics. America sucks. Christians are stupid. HAR DE HAR. You are so clever, once again.

Toguromon you fool. Any point you may have had vanished with your last paragraph when you tell him to insult others instead of your country or relegion. Clearly you are a hypocrite that - as you said - likes hating on things but not when you are the target of the insults. You say 'Do you really think countries are completely characterized by their most hardcore stereotypes and idiots??' and yet I assume you want him to make fun of the middle east and islam for precisely these reasons.

If you can't handle the heat then get out of the kitchen!

America does suck though so you know xD

...
I do not like this review.
Not one bit.
I could not, would not, in a house.
I would not like it with a fox.
I would not like it in a box.
I would not like it here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.
I would not like this review.

Ever.

Because we just need another reason to inflate our huge military budget even more. :/

Not that I don't like CoD games, but they are really overrated. I can play it for a month before getting bored, then go on maybe a month later, but I know friends who played CoD MW2 non-stop every hour of their free moments every day without playing another game since it came out until Black Ops came out. And they had a go at ME when I said this.

This shit $59.99. Anything you get here you don't get anywhere else is Activision-style money grabbing freedom hatred. For $12 or so you get DICE's latest (oh well upcoming) console and consoleized-pc installment. It's a much much better deal don't you think?

All I'm waiting for is for Valve to get their shit together again and DICE to release their PC masterpiece Battlefield 3 and all will be well. All hope is not lost. Well epics like Baldurgate and modding might be an actual dying thing. But let's keep hopes up shall we?

I love playing Black Ops, but I agree - Not really making sense and jumps to much around getting me all confused in the campaign. Real reason why it's awesome is because of the zombies haha! It's also a lot harder too... ...But, worth playing! Glad to see someone take on a huge success of a game and make hilarious comments on it :D

Alright Yahtzee, we get it. You're British. You have a deep-seated envious hatred of America. No need to bring it up every time we get another FPS.

As for BlOPs, I actually thought it had the best CoD campaign of this generation. Sure its linear and heavily scripted. But they all are, especially in the stealth sequences. In CoD4 all you had to do was stick the Captain's ass the entire time and you'd be fine. At least in BlOps, there's a part where you can choose to be stealthy and take out guards with your crossbow when their patrol routes take them away from their allies. But overall, stealth in CoD has always been a tutorial with no actual chance to do your own thing.

But there was that snow mission in MW2 that put you on your own. That's pretty good stealth...the first time you play it. Next time you come back, you already know where everyone is and how to avoid them. But that's Call of Duty for you. Only good once.

Yahtzee's probably just mad because the one mission that has Brits in it has them as the villains and you kill them.

I live in America, and I agree; Somebody really needs to kick the shit out of us.

The Bay of Pigs was started to try and liberate Cuba; 1.5k former citizens of Cuba who'd fled to America and were trained and sent in.

The dick move was when American landed them and then retracted military support, the survivors winding up in a political prison.

What America needs is the balls to carry our a war; you know, carpet-bombing in Vietnam (or actually crossing the fucking boarder? Maybe?).

Sums it up pretty good to me

Aren't China saying they won't support the North?

I was quite excited about this game, mainly because I thought it would feature Stealth Warfare like COD 4, I just loved the stealth section where you play as Lt. Price (later to be Cpt. Price) in Pripyat.

Also I thought COD:BO would be mainly set in the Vietnam war. The Vietnam war is by far my 'favorite war' (well if you can have a favorite war...) as fiction (like movies).
Also since the Vietnam war was so controversial it can be a great historical setting for a great story!

Alas... COD:BO is not what I expected it to be... I might give it a try when it comes out on discount price :P

Father Time:
Wait why would say the U.S. was a virgin when it comes to war?

Perhaps he meant that the US hasn't fought a real war on american soil since the American Civil War.

One thing is to send troops abroad, another is to figt in your home soil.

black ops was pretty educational. I never knew about the whole Bay of pigs incident

Hey Yahtzee, I know you don't like multiplayer, but you didn't even mention Combat Training! It's all the fun of multiplayer, without the douchebags, and if you so choose, without the difficulty! It's you, playing multiplayer against a chosen number of AI's, not actual people. You can make them as easy or hard as you want, and let's face it, a 1 v 9 match against pants-on-head retarded AI's is hillarious! And if that gets boring, you can always turn up the difficulty. Or you can even have a 6v6 match where 5 of them are on your team. I really think this would help you with your phobia of multiplayer, and you might even have some fun in the process.

When he asked for white Anglo-Saxon tough-guy names, was anyone else thinking of this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFHlJ2voJHY

SilentChief:

Really? I got moderated for saying THAT?

[1] Moderator Edit: Please do not troll other users. Thanks!

mabey my country (Canada) could blow the starting wistel. if the west was doing the genocide thing id join eastern europe. BTW i didnt buy this game.

yahtzee when it comes to our opinions on america you and i are one and the same

Yahtzee they took your advise and blew up Libya see you carry a lot of international pull.

Half this stuff never even happened! We didn't kill Castro in the bay of pigs, and there is no such thing as a shotgun/flamethrower. Battlefield, now that's a game!

best opening ever!
in all possibility though, they might get their wish with the way china's growing right now. stop anyone from rightfully overtaking the US AND give the economy a massive boost with equipment manufacturing.

1. The new desing msut have messed something up because "Game info" window show the first call of duty game instead of Black Ops one. r was that intentional.
2. i actually met people who were insulted by the title and wanted them to rename it "african-american ops". oh the time i wasted explaining them that it had nothing to do with race....

As for WW3, well lybia, afganistan, iraq, egypt, looks like the western intervention eventually start this. after all russia is saying they will attack if americans wont fall back. thne again, they ALWAYS are saying that.

superspartan004:
I have a feeling he never beat the campaign, nor did anyone else bashing the game who has admittedly never played it, especially since he never mentioned Nova 6 or Sgt. Reznov, now Black Ops story isn't novel material but is certainly better than MW2's. The ending really ties all the things together especially with the major plot twist.

I disagree.

The story isn't complicated, but it was told so badly I had to play again to figure out what the fuck was going on (except for the twist), MW2 had a bad story, but I had fun, I knew what was going on, and at least it didn't have Alex Mason.

The twist could have been good, if the game didn't tell me what it was so early, three levels into the game and knew what it was because the game basically showed me:
[iframe] width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/sQHfYion__I" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen>[/iframe]
(Skip to 5: 16, if it doesn't do so automatically.)

Also, Mason was just fucking annoying, if anyone ever wants to have a non-silent protagonist in a Call of Duty game again, kill them, after BO they won't be missed.

And finally, the title is Call of Duty: BLACK OPS, at least Modern Warfare 2 knows what the title implies, warfare with modern technology, whereas BO seems to think "black ops" means the most well know battles of the Vietnam war (if the game's designers ever read this, "black ops" means no one who was not directly involved will ever know it even happened, for a long time if ever, because officially, it never did).

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