Zero Punctuation: Call of Duty: Black Ops

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Some fanfiction is written by men, I believe. Not much, but some.

Yet another reason I don't deal with war shooters. Just give me something akin to Serious Sam or Duke Nukem and I'm happy.

Also... "OH BUGGER MY BRITCHES!! THAT was uncalled for!!"

Never thought I'd hear Yahtzee actually get freaked out by needless mutilation, hilarious as it was. And here I am thinking he'd probably love the Higurashi series. :P

If only I could actually PLAY the single player explosion seizure fest. Instead I'm stuck in stutter alley with 90% of the PC community.

Guess Yahtzee played it on a console.


its so weird how much we love to have games set in hypothetical invasion situations when you consider that its sooo unlikely, its much more likely that we would have another civil war

And the tea party conservatives would win. They have all the guns.


Im not sure they know enough to know how to use a gun tho besides, thats why we have tanks

Oh goody. More torture porn in a video game. Why are these games criticised by Fox News again? They're practically 24: The game.

You'd love it if Jack Bauer was doing unspeakable things with glass for God and Country.

Hes right, we do need a war. and i mean a REAL war not this bullshit going on in the mid east, jumping in on a country in the mists of a civil war does not count.

The only thing that was fun about the game was the zombie mode, and I don't even plan on buying this game since I'm not all hype over the CoD series.

Yahtzee Croshaw:

Now we all know what happens when you review this years biggest multiplayer seller of the year, so instead of forcing you to go into this on Extra Punctuation a THIRD time, I will do this for you.


Yahtzee tried to evaluate the game on terms of its single player only. He has a disdain for the rest of the human race, so he doesn't play online multiplayer. He judged the game on what he could play by himself. Judging from the review, he thought the game was average or had the same problem as the Force Unleashed 2 by being to awesome plus utterly schizophrenic.

He WON'T nor will NEVER review a game base on it's multiplayer, with the exception of TF2/Left 4 Dead because 1. it is Valve and 2. both those game don't have a "true" single player experience.

Get over it.

After playing for two hours, I seriously had a migraine! WFT?! I think Yahtzee is so right that this game overwhelms you. I also never got that part, when glass mouth joins my side and is able to speak in normal sentences and move like normal when we've just smashed some glass into his mouth. Seems like this was like a fitness milk shake for him.

A migraine? I just don't think you're epic enough to handle the story then :P (I say that jokingly, of course).

However, I find the second part of your argument a bit petty. I mean's a game? Let's be honest: it wouldn't be much of a level if you're supposed to protect and question a guy who can't walk and isn't able to talk.

Plus, films and television programmes often take liberties in order to advance their story. So it's not like Treyarch has just ruined the entire video game industry because of a discrepancy.

OT: I'm not really sure why we still watch ZP. It seems like nowadays he tries too hard to be funny -- which ultimately fails -- by tearing apart the biggest games. Well, 'tearing apart' would imply that he was actually doing so... perhaps, 'bitching of anything he can make a metaphorical pun about' would be a better description of his job?

As funny as the video is, the review part isn't very good. It doesn't have any descriptions of actual gameplay except the very brief zombie part at the end.

This was a good one i'd say. The war battleground thingie sound like a good idea, wouldn't have to go to expensive concerts to get my adrenaline fix, just turn on the TV! There could be live broadcasting with commentators and stuff aswell! Oh and the virgin metaphor, disturbing.

I find it funny that Yahtzee's review complains about the game being to spastic while the Escapist review complains about it being to uneventful. Just kinda something I noticed.

Well, Yahtzee did say it spazzes out so much that it's never engaging.

Or maybe Russ Pitts really did have an epileptic fit without realising.

Over the past couple of weeks, I'd been wondering if yatzee had lost "it." The reviews were getting kinda "samey." One could argue (as he did) that this was partially due to the games themselves getting samey ... but this particular triumph of spew does it's best to argue otherwise. While Black Ops isn't really that different from the other contenders, this is the first time I've felt the need to replay the ZP review in a long time.

Good review, but I found there to be plenty of parts where the action chills out for a bit. Yahtzee even mentioned the part with JFK.

wow that was just sad

Yeah, Yahtzee, 'cos Black Ops is the first game to feature the Vietnam war.


I know Yahtzee was probably exaggerating in his comparison with a teenage girl but honestly replace America with North Korea and it works perfectly.

America's all ready in a couple wars.

If you like the zombie mode play killing floor very similar but killing floors more in-depth

Father Time:
I know Yahtzee was probably joking about his comparison with a teenage girl but honestly replace America with North Korea and it works perfectly.

America's all ready in 2 or 3 wars.

Probably not good killing what america needs

Yeah, Yahtzee, 'cos Black Ops is the first game to feature the Vietnam war.


yer but that was more tasteful

Vietcong one was a great game, a real underated gem with loads of great ideas and fantastic combat, Vietcong 2 was only half the game that 1 was. They basically took the best bits of Vietcong 1 and removed them all.

Yahtzee Croshaw:
Call of Duty: Black Ops

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Call of Duty: Black Ops.

Watch Video

unlock the hate

Another world war? And we get to be the bad guys this time? Shit, Im in.

I never knew why i liked treyarch more than IW but i guess its just my opinion

Are you sure it's not because they're more of the underdogs in this series?

Honestly, I still think they make crappy games...-_-

No mention of Zork Yahtzee?

Pirate Kitty:
God lord, that virgin metaphor was disturbing.

I am with you on that...

Can't get the image out of my head! WHERE IS MY BRAIN BLEACH?!

A new holocaust with game reviewers would definately improve society.

We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese!

I don't get how the hell America can keep waging war everywhere when they have this massive money debt to China?!

OMG b1@cK 0Ps Is lik teh BEST GAME EVAH!!!!!!
... *Puke*

I'm not gonna ride the gaytrain called the CoD Hype. I'm gonna give other shooters a chance instead of playing the same old thing over and over again. Call Of Duty 1 and 2 were great games! GIVE THEM BACK! ... I'm gonna go play some.
Seriously though, Black Ops is nothing but a Modern Warfare 2 clone that is LESS broken with MORE content and MORE annoying maps. Though it does have a better single player...

The game still sucks though, I don't get why theres so much hype about these games...

TREYARCH/Infinity Ward! Stop releasing a game EVERY FUCKING YEAR and TAKE SOME TIME TO MAKE VARIETY AND IMPROVEMENTS Make something new! Something like Battlefield 1942. They gave us WWII in a great way! Where else do you get to pilot a hangarship/battleship/submarine/jeep/tank/airplane of WWII/mounted turrets/MG's/bombers/kamikaze fighers ALL IN ONE GAME?

Can't wait for Battlefield 3 to be released... As long as it goes along with the style of battlefield 2.


This is only an interactive movie...

Yes let's complain about how friendly AI that can aim, then blame "console tards" about dumbing down when his team didn't move up because there was still one guy left.

Plus you could only get away with that in the first mission.

Didn't even mention the crazy russian 'sidekick'

Now we just wait for all the butthurt CoD fanboys to come crawling out and mention what a poor ZP this is and how he didn't really review the game but just ranted on about nonsense, all this trying to rationalize away their own hurt feelings and doubts.

Especially vitriolic this week. I approve.

This was probably the funniest ZP I have seen in a long time. Seems like Yahtzee has gotten out of his slump.

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