Zero Punctuation: iPhone Games

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iPhone Games

This week, Zero Punctuations reviews some of the popular iPhone games at this time.

Watch Video

Angry birds that all i can think off.

Games don't work o the iPhone. the phone is fine, maybe a bit expensive, but games all suck

angrybirds is over rated.

Haven't watched yet, but I can say I like the device, or platform rather. I own the 4th gen ipod touch, all the functionality but no at&t bill. For a phone I have an Android so I get the best of both worlds.

Most games are poor flash-esq designs but new looks at the 3d engines being designed show a lot of promise from the platform. The problem is the better(*edit - more ccccinematic) the app the more the processor is hit and the shorter the battery life. Not to mention your controller [fingers] often cover what it is you need to do.

The device isn't bad, it has much promise, but developers are hard pressed to design interface options that engage without getting in the way.

my 2 cents.

*edit
Just watched, and I am surprised Yahtzee didn't touch on how a lot of the top 20 free games require you to hide whatever it is your supposed to be doing behind your fingers. Still, I completely agree, Innovation abounds; I would like to see more games take advantage of the accelerometer and gyro (and I don't mean forcing users to shake the device like and epileptic having a fit) but to actually engage you in what your being asked to do.

I'm pronunciing "cinematic" as he does from now on.

i nominate this episode for the "zero punctuation episode with fewest limbs" award. i think it's got a good chance.

I brought an oxygen tank, yahtzee. Duh.

I appreciated the last line. Yes, I don't have an iPhone. The lack of weather's lovely on the red planet. Movie was fun. Thanks.

its quite easy to breath on mars. I just open my mouth and swallow... air...

I found a way to breathe on Mars by taking plants with me and sucking out the oxygen from the leaves. It is nice to get away from mainstream gaming for a bit.

Angry birds ain't too bad, but it is in very real need of an aiming system, see "Learn To Fly". In L2F you unlock (buy) better gear as the game goes on, but it still takes skill to win. Angry Birds requires skill, luck, luck, spam, spam, spam, eggs and luck. Seriously.

Haven't played the other 2, so I will criticize another game: Eliss. The first 3 levels are for learning (and putting in the demo). The next 12 levels get progressively harder. Level 16 is insane. Level 17 requires 3 players, I assume, who have the finger size of a 10 year old. A 10 year old from a very hungry country, not America. Maybe an American newborn. There are supposedly levels in the game after 17, but I assume they are there to taunt me.

Battle for Wesnoth is on iPhone now. Hooray. But it is dog slow on the iPhone 3G.. it may be better on the 4. Its a fun strategy game, but seriously, dog slow.

Well see, the thing about Mars is that there's loads of air there thanks to aliens and the Governator.

Aka I don't have an iPhone.
Also Angry Birds just sounds like a reskinned Sieger to me.

i breath on mars using the money i didnt spend on an iphone to buy a space suit :)

I didn't think the escapist would be kind enough to shell out for an Australian iPhone.

Apart from the Angry Birds, I have the rest of those 4 :3
They're all awesome.

Breathing on Mars is quite easy when you have a space suit, but it does get a little annoying at times.

In all seriousness, very funny review, first time I've actually done a real laugh at a ZP video for a while now.

I was hoping he'd review fable this week, but I guess that's not comming any time soon

I don't have an iphone, itouch, or i anything. And I'll tell you how I breath on mars... I don't. That takes REAL skill.

Still, some of the games coming out for the iphone and such are making me consider getting one. It would be easier then carrying around a DS or PSP all the time.

Great review, but it raises the question:
Will we see a zero punctuation christman special? Like Blackadder's, but more synicle.

I must have evolved gills that turn hydrogen into oxygen. And temperature-resistant skin. And solar wind-resistant eyes.

Hey, i'm kinda proud of myself.

I breathe very well on mars.

Well, this was appealingly unexpected, but what's up with Yahtzee's voice of late?

...And will we ever get a double review of VVVVVV and Super Meat Boy?

Breathing on mars I actually easy, you just use your feets instead of mouth

Hm, looks like I ought to get an iPhone now. The air here on Mars is getting a little stale.

Good ol' Yahtzee, I've been waiting for an iPhone games episode forever, thank you!

i have a droid. most of the games are the same and it's nice to see them other on JUST the iPhone.

and is just me or am i the only one who see's the ZP imp every time i look at the picture of the Droid mascot?

cat+internet = youtube
very true
:) thanks for making me lol today and for once useful reviews

I kinda liked Doodle God. It almost felt like an adventure game at least. By the way, I was expecting Fable III or Red Dead Redemption new DLC review, but this is fun just as well.

Android phones are so much better. :P Heh, but nice reviews. Most of the games have comparable games on the Android (or already exist on the Android phone).

I was expecting a third Peter Molyneux bashing by this point.

Anyway, kinda cool. DoodleGod is actually on Newgrounds.com as well. So for those of us who don't have iphones and live on earth, there's your alternative option. :D

I found a way to breathe on Mars by buying an HTC HD2 and subsequently HTC Desire HD ;/
Great review ,though!

In reference to mars breathing, simple. I am this guy:

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:EGMov0avvgPBcM:http://www.scificool.com/images/2010/08/John-Carter-of-Mars.jpg&t=1

They're making a film about me, called, John Carter of mars.

I kind of see the appeal of iPhone games, but at the same time, they're not really holding. I'd love a 10 hour one, something like a pokemon adventure like thing.

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