Zero Punctuation: iPhone Games

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I simply breathe the iron oxide that's everywhere on mars. It just takes a little force of will.

All of these games sound suspiciously similar to games I've played on Kongregate... where they were free, and didn't require an iPhone to play... must be my imagination.

Breathing on Mars is easy.

image

Avoiding the space tigers and wooing the hot princess betrothed to some other Martian berk is the real challenge.

Trainyard Express was a really fun puzzle game.

Also, I just found Rage, by idSoftware is out on iPhone. Looks amazing.

wickes666:
see, i have an iPod, so the whole mars question doesn't really apply to me. thank you middle upper class parents of kid who's iPod i took :)

Are you seriously acting all smart, because you're such a scumbag you stole from someone.

I went to a rather enlightened school... we used to walk around in packs and put people like you in hospital... there's nothing better than seeing the look of gratitude in a someone's eye's as he looks at the smear that used to be the person who victimised him.

I wish adulthood worked that way.

Good one.
Agree with Yahtzee especially on the Cut The Rope easiness. Although a recent update had some pretty tough levels to it.

Now, for this post to be washed away in a sea of smug!

Wolfram01:
Trainyard Express was a really fun puzzle game.

Also, I just found Rage, by idSoftware is out on iPhone. Looks amazing.

Plays like arse. Doesn't even look that good when compared to Infinity Blade.

Been playing angry birds on my android for about 2 months now. It's great entertainment while I'm on the toilet. Looks like fruit ninja and cut the rope are also available.....and I too see the android logo everytime I see a yahtzee imp. Good thing his aren't green or Google might get all angry and suey and stuff.

Well then I better get my iPod touch and internet and tell them to make up and get connected so I can buy games. I have Angry Birds and that is fun. So Assassin's Creed Brotherhood next week maybe? Because I would've like to see Yahtzee rip on Medal of Honor and Fable III. Oh well, I now have an excuse to dust off my iPod.

You know, I only got an iPod touch and not an iPhone.......... SHIT I AM LIVING IN MARS! Oh wait, I can breath because I was forced to watch Naruto, Final Fantasy 12 and Twilight. ... Nice neighborhood I have.

I don't have an iPhone because I'm not a pretentious hipster and hate using phones. As an aside, these videos seem to get worse and worse every week. Maybe I'm just getting tired of hearing one of the aforementioned hipsters bitching about the smallest of things week after week.

Boring as shit.

I don't need a stinkin iPhone.

I'll take a PSP or a DS over apple any day.
None of these top 3 apple games compare to a game like scribblenauts.

nasal convertant spray, its all the rage these days

Am I the only person on earth who actually LIKED Ashley from RE4 (sure, the main reason i liked her was that there was the chance of her getting naked at some point, but still)?

Also, no we don't breath on Mars. It's much easier to live here if you don't have to...

I'm glad he hasn't actually shunned AC:B :D
also, I don't play the iPhone :O but those games look fun ^-^

I was quite surprised that, out of the four games mentioned, three of them are available on Android. and Cut The Rope is due on Android any time soon. I've played the three on Android and I don't really think much of them. They're good for ten minutes then they start getting a bit boring.

I do like how Rovio have made Angry Birds on Android into a free ad-based game (oh, and there's an app for hiding all the adverts if you don't like them).

I used a very, very, very, very, very complex straw that make air out of nothingness or steels it from another dimension or something to breath on mars, now get working on AC brotherhood pls ^^

Nice Review, and those games are handy time wasters, like world of goo.

AAAAAANNNNNNDDDD next week, I'll get to see my much anticipated assassin's creed brotherhood review!

Mars is pretty crowded, if this thread is to be believed.

Populated by pretty nice people too.

I wasn't expecting Yahtzee to review this stuff but frankly I'm glad he did since it doesn't mean a Sonic Colors review and I'd like it to stay that way. The last time Yahtzee reviewed a Sonic game, he completed fucked up his research by reviewing and bemoaning things in the 360/PS3 version of Sonic Unleashed yet decided he needed to flash screens of the Wii version's boxart when that version doesn't even have GoW style QTE finishers or a free roaming hub world. So much for that lesson you said you learned in the Force Unleashed 1 review, eh Croshaw?

Also Sonic Colors is a Wii exclusive and the last thing I want is for him to review a game that gives him the excuse of saying the usual "waaaaah the Wii is the cancer of the gaming society!" bullcrap he's been saying for the past 2 years now. (Even though he took potshots at it in this review anyway)

As for the iPhone, I'll pass and take his word for it for now. I have no interest in things like that to begin with and I doubt that'll change anytime soon. I also find it ironic that he happens to like Ninja Fruit considering that he made jabs at Raiden attacking fruit in the Metal Gear Rising trailer back during E3 this year.

Awwh i was praying to every god i could fucking think of that he would review Assasasins Creeds Brotherhood, after that shit storm 'game' Black Ops. Please be next week xD

Loop Stricken:
Well see, the thing about Mars is that there's loads of air there thanks to aliens and the Governator.

Aka I don't have an iPhone.
Also Angry Birds just sounds like a reskinned Sieger to me.

Nice link :D

I use oxygen sparingly.

"Fuck fruit, sitting around all smug; on trees and in pies."

Ha. ^__^

Madara XIII:

Tharwen:
Why does no-one ever mention Tap Tap Revenge?!

It deserves at least as much of a review as Angry Birds...

Anyway, it's good to see Yahtzee is prepared to criticise outside his standard area of subject meterial.

Oh man I loved Tap Tap revenge. Fun game to play

And they release a free song every week too :D

It gets a bit buggy at times, but sometimes I feel that's due to the limitations of the phone itself more than the game.

Game Traders Robina being mentioned again? Is that what you call a half brick joke?

I'm just waiting for the "Breath on Mars" app to come out on my Android, thanks.

Cyrax023:
angrybirds is over rated.

The iPhone in general is overrated. I'm not saying it's a bad platform; it's an excellent platform. It's just not the holy end-all that many people claim it to be.

Nice one, just after creating wizards in doodle god on my iPhone, I decided to watch ZP on my iPhone. After I write this comment on my iPhone, I will watch a few YouTube videos on my iPhone or watch MST3K episodes thru netflix on my iPhone.

Donīt really get why he is more hostile towards nintendo then to apple.

Nintendo would be as bad as apple if Wiimotes only would function on nintendo exclusive batteries which you have to buy for 20$ each. Thats the apple way of doing thing, well, if they were encased in really cheap plastic and tend to be broken, then its apple.

I planted a lot of trees.

Lordofthesuplex:
Also Sonic Colors is a Wii exclusive and the last thing I want is for him to review a game that gives him the excuse of saying the usual "waaaaah the Wii is the cancer of the gaming society!" bullcrap he's been saying for the past 2 years now. (Even though he took potshots at it in this review anyway)

Uhh... it was on the DS too and in my opinion the DS version was better albeit a bit short.

Enjoyed the video. I liked angry birds but i refuse to get an Iphone because paying $600 to not be able to make phone calls seems a little steep to me.

I have an iPod touch for the simple reason I'm not giving my whole being in to Apple's evil plan for world domination...

Games on the Iphone are not bad, they are something to do while waiting for other things but the just drain the batteries too fast.

About the iPhone.

Come to my country, where the cheapest iPhone costs as much as a very good AMD graphics card and I'll show you around the red wastelands.

I found the simplest way to breath on Mars is to learn how to breath Carbon Dioxide. It's easy! You just have to find a Sage Tree and have it teach you the ways of being a plant!

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