Zero Punctuation: Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood

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Is it 9 alley handjobs or 9 alley blowjobs? Continuity error! :p

yahtsee the game is similar but there are some key differences, 1. the assassin's which you mentioned i rather like the idea of sending them everywhere, 2. the multiplayer which yeah yeah DLC so what, 3. the combat is alot better and more fun and differen/fresh e.g. the combos are better to do and more fun to watch, they have amped up the attacking so instead people dont have to rely mainly on the counter which i had to in AC2, 3. there are more stealth been added in this one e.g. the leanardo missions they are mainly stealth, 4. the horses are used more not just for ezio but also the soldiers which can be taken for the combat point, 5. the assassins can be used also for combat and assassionations, so i dont know what your talking about being it another copy its a new one and better, didnt know though that it was a sequal seriously thought is was a spin-off and come on yahtsee i thought you would complain about the beggers and the musicians they are both this one which are so freaken annoying, your being very lazy today lol

SonicWaffle:

AssassinJoe:
I always did see a similarity between Yahtzee and Assassin's Creed's Shawn.

HankMan:
I though he WAS Assassin's Creed's Shawn

Cyanide Christ:
It would seems that Ubisoft's been paying attention to this particular reviewer and in order to please him put him in the game...

mr_rubino:
Oh snarky British community theater college student. I just knew Yahtzee would approve of you.

OK, given up on looking for replies, BUT! The guy playing Shaun (and looking exactly like him IRL, what with one being based on the other) is incredibly funny comedian Danny Wallace. I have to say that I don't know why though - sure, Wallace is funnier than a sack full of weasels being used to beat the homeless to death, but he's also one of the most optimistic and positive comics whose work I've ever read. This is the guy who founded a cult by accident and then set them to doing good deeds. The guy who decided to say yes to everything. It seems weird that his character in the game is 'generic snarky British fellow #12' when he's more optimistic than almost any writer I've read.

The reason he doesn't play sarcastic pessimist very well (as anyone who has played these games can tell) is that it appears to be totally alien to his personality. If people are seeing a clear link between him and Yahtzee then it means Wallace is a good actor, but is overall kinda depressing :-(

I've never seen any of Danny Wallace's movies. What's he in?

Also, how is it depressing? He's a good actor!

Well, a team of Renaissance era assassin's would certainly spice up the World Cup, that's for sure.

Nukeforyou:
so.. i wonder how yhatzee likes the news about ea retiring "offline" games

wait what? what dose that mean then?

As much as I love AC:B, I have to agree that all that fucking building upgrade stuff is BORING AS HELL.

HankMan:
Even if it is just an extension of Ass Creed 2, I'll take any excuse to faf about with 'ol Niccolo: Disregard Morals, Acquire Power!
And it's still a good game, which is nice.

AssassinJoe:
I always did see a similarity between Yahtzee and Assassin's Creed's Shawn.

I though he WAS Assassin's Creed's Shawn

I thought the dude was called Shaun?
And it'll be a miracle that Yahtzee wouldn't like him. They're both sarcastic bastards who spout entertaining dialogue.

I am not sure how he does it most weeks, but that, was an excellent review. Equal parts hilarious and informative.

Thanks!

Kermi:
If your Assassins felt underutilised it's because you weren't using them enough. They're instrumental in several story missions if you're going for 100% synch, they're great fun to call in on guards, pickpockets and Borgia couriers just for the hell of it if you don't feel like dealing with them yourself, and sending them out of missions nets you money early on when you need it - then later on when they're ranked up you can send them on the really tough assignments where they can net you key trade items you need for shop quests.

I meant story-wise, not gameplay wise. They're used once when you hurt the thieves' feelings and you needed a substitute, but that's it. The trailer depicts Ezio walking straight up to Cesare Borgia (in a completely stealthy and assassin way, mind you, with his bright white cloak and belt of knifes) and after killing some guards Ezio and the recruits begin an epic battle with Cesare's soldiers. Does this happen in the game? No. I mean, unless you call them, they don't even bother to show their faces in the final battle.

In any event, I did send them on all those side missions and rank them all up to Assassino way before Claudia's entry into the brotherhood (which I suspect was supposed to come first), but later I only used them for arrow storms and when the game told me to because I remembered I prefer doing the killing myself.

Kermi:
If you think AC:B felt like an expansion, I have no idea what more you could possibly have expected. A new vast city, an excellent continuation of the story, some new gameplay elements, though truthfully they may as well have taken out the pistol when they took the crossbow - I only recall using the pistol once when I ran out of Crossbow bolts, and that was because I wasn't looting corpses as diligently as I should've been. The only other times I heard the pistol go off were during executions, which was unnecessary.

How about a completely different time period? I'm going to go with Critical Miss on this one; you have a special chair that lets you relive the memories of ANY of your genetic ancestors. The opportunities are endless! Ancient Egypt! Victorian England! But instead, Ubisoft just dumped us in the same time period.

I get the very strong impression that AC:B was very rushed out to wring as much money as they could and they didn't spend much time at all trying to think of new ideas. That's why I'm grateful for the news that the series is taking a 2 year break.

Yahtzee has a daughter?

anyway, the only thing I really like about assasin's creed is Ezio. I'm not in a rush to by brotherhood at all. I hope it isn't as bad as my friend described it.

Some Random Tosser:
How about a completely different time period? I'm going to go with Critical Miss on this one; you have a special chair that lets you relive the memories of ANY of your genetic ancestors. The opportunities are endless! Ancient Egypt! Victorian England! But instead, Ubisoft just dumped us in the same time period.
I get the very strong impression that AC:B was very rushed out to wring as much money as they could and they didn't spend much time at all trying to think of new ideas. That's why I'm grateful for the news that the series is taking a 2 year break.

I think they saw an opportunity to capitalise on Ezio's popularity and ran with it. I was frankly grateful for more of this time period despite only having finished AC2 a few months earlier, and there were substantial changes to the game world, and enough detail has gone into the finished product (which I don't think you can really deny was very polished) that I didn't feel like I was playing an expansion.

Now the ending is what throws me off:

Where do they go from there? Sure, playing around with Assassins in different time periods is fun but how does it stay fresh? I'm confident Ubisoft have some great ideas, but they've opened up some great potential for mindbuggery with the endings of AC2 and Brotherhood and that's what I want more of. At this point I can't help but wonder if the reason that we've seen so many differnet alleged concepts come up for a franchise that's supposedly going to wrap up in 2012 in the real world to coincide with the in-game events, is because they're going to have some sort of grand time-period Royal Rumble where Desmond jumps back and forth between a whole bunch of his ancestors.
Then again that's such a horrible idea for a game I'm disappointed I even came up with it, so that can't possibly be it.

I just feel that while Ubisoft are making games like Splinter Cell: Conviction, we don't really need a game that focuses purely on present-day Desmond to any great extent - so what's the rush?

Also, one of us has outdated news. Last I heard, Ubi were planning on releasing the next installment in the Assassin's Creed franchise next year.

psyconinja7:
Yahtzee has a daughter?

Slash fick, Ho!

Also, I hope the next game will be during the french revolution so I can pretend its a Scarlet Pimpernell game.

AssassinJoe:
I always did see a similarity between Yahtzee and Assassin's Creed's Shawn.

Well they are both angry British guys.

calvincaplan:
WHEN IS HE REVIEWING FABLE III?

NOT THIS WEEK.

Brotherhood was a great game, but it could have just as easily been released as DLC. And even if ezio is awesome, UBISOFT seems to be missing the most obvious choice for assassins creed 3, ninjas. they could have just as easily set it in japan, because everyone would rather have them make ninjas then more italians.

Mullahgrrl:

psyconinja7:
Yahtzee has a daughter?

Slash fick, Ho!

Also, I hope the next game will be during the french revolution so I can pretend its a Scarlet Pimpernell game.

BUT NINJAS!!!!

Brotherhood is amazing. Frankly, I don't understand why people call it DLC at all. It's huge, immersive, incredibly detailed, and the story sucks you in immediately. And what's with everyone complaining that it's in Rome?

"We could have been in [insert any place here] but instead Ubisoft dumped us back in Italy!"

Whether it's in Italy or not, it's a great game. And Ubisoft didn't call it ACIII, they called it AC:B, for a reason -- it's a continuation of Ezio's story. They've pretty much stated that ACIII will be in another historical setting, so what's the problem here?

brainslurper:

Mullahgrrl:

psyconinja7:
Yahtzee has a daughter?

Slash fick, Ho!

Also, I hope the next game will be during the french revolution so I can pretend its a Scarlet Pimpernell game.

BUT NINJAS!!!!

They can be in it aswell.

That is why they call it slash fick after all.

Sounds like Yahtzee liked it-- as much as he tends to be willing to admit.

It would be nice to see a few 'positive' reviews for a change, though. I wonder if he's avoiding that because he doesn't think they're funny, or because there just haven't been many great games deserving of one?

At any rate, this was an excellent episode. I'm going to go ahead and say right now, I hope he reviews Skyward Sword after it comes out. That ought to be a fun review. But then, who knows?

WanderingFool:
Yahtzee likes the snarky british member of the merry band of killers? Who woulda thought?

Anyways, was disappointed a little by AC:B, but overall I thought it was a good game. Just hope they change it up for AC3, specially since what happened at the end of Brotherhood.

What is your avatar saying?
I NEED TO KNOW!!!!

what part of "he liked the game" didn't you get? The review is screaming it! Buy it dude

Loved the last joke

Why didn't he even mention how shit the graphics are? It looks like an EARLY PS2 GAME.

AssassinJoe:
I've never seen any of Danny Wallace's movies. What's he in?

The only thing I know of is a brief cameo in Jim Carrey's Yes Man, since it was (very loosely) based on a book by Danny Wallace. He co-wrote 'Are You Dave Gorman?', in which he and his flatmate set out to find 52 people in the world called Dave Gorman. He wrote 'Yes Man', in which he decided to say yes to everything for a month or so. He also started his own country once, and on a different occasion started a cult by accident (which he later dedicated to doing good deeds). As lives go, he seems to have had an interesting one.

AssassinJoe:
Also, how is it depressing? He's a good actor!

It's depressing seeing one of the happiest, most positive people I've ever heard of and seeing him reducing to a snarky, moping git :-P

It just doesn't seem right for him.

hmmmm maybe i buy this when its in the bargin bin. or when it gets the "Greatest Hits" stamp for the PS3.

Some Random Tosser:
What was the point of the first 1 minute 20 seconds?

Yeah, I've always liked Shawn better than everyone else. But Rebecca (the spazzy one that operates the Animus) seems to not be in the spirit as much as she was in II. I checked to see if she had a different voice actor because that's what I got the impression of, but that's not the case.

CD-R:
I get the feeling Ubi Soft is trying to put off giving Desmond his own game as long as possible since they seem to know nobody likes him.

Actually, I get the impression that the ending was made solely for Desmond to have some actual reason for character development in the next game, like in Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time.

DBlack:
WOW and here I thought zero punctuation had finnaly stoped kissing valves ass. I have a question for Mr. Croshaw, Is there a game made by Valve that you dont like? And since you never answer questions lets just pretend its rhetorical.

Don't forget that Yahtzee's still got a lot of beef to pick with Valve's release schedule. In addition, I can't ever call a single game made by Valve 'bad' with a straight face.

jspheonix:
I disagree that Brotherhood is virtually a DLC, I would argue a lot has changed. I was expecting a DLC to be honest but I was impressed with the variation so far, finally desmond can actually DO something, Rome offers so many challenges, and even though you don't see the missions you send your posse on, its a nice touch when building an army

By 'a lot a changed', you probably mean 'a lot more stuff has been tacked on to gameplay'. To me, Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood will always feel like an expansion pack to Assassin's Creed II that I had to pay full price for. At least the first and second games were vastly different with different contexts, but Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood just feels rushed out and the assassin recruits, to me, feel underutilised. It's not like they make much of a difference in the story.

Agian, I disagree. Yes the gameplay is more like 2 than 2 was like one, but it didn't feel rushed, despite me expecting it to. You keep suggesting you were ripped off paying for two games instead of one, but these are long games, taking me weeks to play properly. I would both say worth the money I payed for them. And I'm not a sucker (though still fumming over force unleashed 2)

Thanks for the review. I guess this will wait until it's on sale sometime in the future. Besides which, I haven't finished ACII yet - damn you, Minecraft!!

I'll be waiting for a price drop to pick this up. My only concern is that by then, the multiplayer will be dead as a doornail. Which effectively kills half the value of the game. I think that is what is starting to annoy me most about games these days with a MP aspect. Most of the MP do not have the staying power to make the game a worthwhile investment. After 3 months, it's more or less dead and everyone has moved on to another game.

brainslurper:
Brotherhood was a great game, but it could have just as easily been released as DLC. And even if ezio is awesome, UBISOFT seems to be missing the most obvious choice for assassins creed 3, ninjas. they could have just as easily set it in japan, because everyone would rather have them make ninjas then more italians.

screw ninjas. it wouldn't make any sense. since the story is about desmonds ancestors and they originated in the middle east, moving west. also NONE of the references for later events(templar hitler, edison etc) mentions any eastern activities with the pieces of eden.
The closest we have on that account is gandhi or russia. Also templars never had much influence in the eastern paths, which would lead to a lack of enemies for the assassins.

Swifteye:

Madskull:
I really expected Fable III by now... but I guess you had your share of Fable by now.
Still, a nice review of the newest Assassin's Creed. I can hardly wait to get my hands on it.

I don't think he's going to review the fable three ever seeing as the first fable was just for fun the second fable however was given to him by peter in his attempt to shut yathzee up but seeing as that failed peter probably didn't repeat that performance.

That could be it, although I saw him mention Fable III gameplay or graphics in one of his "Extra Punctuation" columns.

Haha, when I saw Shaun the first two people I thought of were Yahtzee and one of those watcher guys from Buffy. I didn't really watch the show so I'm not sure which one, I think there were two.

Erm, anyway. I still plan on getting the game when I get my ps3 fixed. It definitely looks nice and MP might be a nice distraction since I rarely play it on any game. I really hope ACIII will be with another new historical figure. Altair and Ezio both had their likeable and unlikeable qualities about them, and a new character would be fresh and exciting since Desmond is technically all of them.

Have to agree with Yahtzee on this one, most of the game felt DLC-ish. But equally was a good game.
That being said, I loved the minions, multiplayer is unique and the ending was a complete mind fuck. All welcome additions.
Great review and I loved the Shaun comparison!

that english dude is actually a british tv presenter he done a few documentaries on channel 4 one on the illuminati

Awesome review! I laughed so hard at the british guy part

Evilsanta:
Hmmm...Doesn't sound to bad.

And to play as...Umm, What is the guys name now again...Oh! Desmond doesn't sound to bad but i dont thnik hidden blades are that usefull in the future.

I'd love to see him charge at someone with his hidden blade and just get shot in the face.

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