Unskippable: Beowulf

 Pages 1 2 NEXT
 

Beowulf

One of the greatest mythic heroes travels through the vast Uncanny Valley.

Watch Video

I really didn't enjoy this game...

Good Episode though, as usual. Not my favourite, but hey-ho

Well its about time i have to say, its been out for ages.

But anyway nice job again guys.

That was grrrrrrrrrrreat!

... okay, it was kind of long and not overly exciting, but it did have a couple great punchlines.

"If Anthony Hopkins wants to narrate your story, are you going to argue?"

No. No, sir, I will not.

Game is horrible though, like most movie-tie-in games.

So is this skippable or what?

Horrible game, good one show though.

that could have been the shortest episode ever. *opening credits* "Press Start" *presses start* *Closing credits*

Mullahgrrl:
So is this skippable or what?

Its skippable. THey've done a couple you could skip, but those was a button cue that they "missed"

But didnt Brecca beat Beowolf in the story? And then Beowolf was just like, "well, yeah... but I killed EVERY serpent in the water and took five for a sandwich or else I would have totally won" or something like that?

The derpy sea-serpent line got me. 'Cause it's exactly what I was thinking when I saw it. XD

And now, the terrible movie based on a classic story is a terrible video game based on a terrible movie.

*sigh*

Edit: By the way, I do know this game has been out for a while.

Anthony Hopkins as a sea serpent would be pretty awesome. He's already established his talent for eating people =D
Row Monkey, Row
And I bet Beowulf has a huge 'skin bag'

If I had my pick of someone to narrate my life....it would be Laurence Fishburne.

Seems there was a lot of effort to make the cutscenes feel exciting. Makes me wonder how exciting the other bits were.

I've never played this game and I don't plan to. The animations, judging for this video alone, are craptastically bad and that sea serpent DOES look derpy.

Even though, the movie wasn't that good to begin with.

"This is YOUR story, HERO. Now you're pressing the POST button, and now you're drinking some more COFFEE."

Oh man, the Tony the Tiger line slayed me...like a Anthony Hopkins derp-y sea serpent.

Derpy derp, O hai Beowulf, I seeee yoooou!

Yeah, I don't know how they expected us to be terrified of that.

That was the most terrifying sea serpent ever. If a sea serpent popped out that looked like this:

it would be a terrifying beast but not that terrifying in itself because it's what we expect. The derpy look looks straight out of a very bad nightmare.

Nice episode.

okay i have to get this out of my system, WOOO! paul and graham mentioned Denmark, kinda, they said that our women are slutty, good enough.

this was one of the better episodes, its always fun when they give a great actor a terrible script, have ugly graphics and terrible design, its hard not to make it funny.

Graham_LRR:
Beowulf

One of the greatest mythic heroes travels through the vast Uncanny Valley.

Watch Video

When I saw this one I was like "Haven't they done Beowulf already?" Then I realized I had seen the movie, which I ripped apart Unskippable style, so it seemed familiar.

I couldnt help but think that they were stood on the water.

HERPY DERP HERP DERP IMMA SEA MONSTER

emeraldrafael:

Mullahgrrl:
So is this skippable or what?

Its skippable. THey've done a couple you could skip, but those was a button cue that they "missed"

But didnt Brecca beat Beowolf in the story? And then Beowolf was just like, "well, yeah... but I killed EVERY serpent in the water and took five for a sandwich or else I would have totally won" or something like that?

That's pretty much exactly how he told it. Of course, there was no one else to see it, and he didn't provide any proof. But he's the hero of the story, so everyone believes him anyway.

Is it just me, or did Ubisoft totally rip off the God of War music at the start of the rowing part?

Ok, "Danish women, they're grrreatful!" is now my new favourite line! Hmm can't think of a practical real-life use for it though...

Eurgh, let's butcher a classical epic text and make a shitty videogame.
Hrothgar the dragon slayer? What...
I have an idea. Instead of treating mythology and classical literature as a free name stamp, we own up the shitty things that we do ourselves.
Instead of Beowulf we could call this "we will literally do anything to make people buy this and so we hope you recognize the title. Not that you've ever read Beowulf or anything, I know we certainly didn't, but whatever..."

Dear Graham and Paul, I love your work and this too was a very good episode. But could you please find it in your hearts to turn the volume down on the opening and ending sequence? It's like the difference in the levels between them and the talking part is getting greater and greater and I'm quite fond of my eardrums. Please?

emeraldrafael:

But didnt Brecca beat Beowolf in the story? And then Beowolf was just like, "well, yeah... but I killed EVERY serpent in the water and took five for a sandwich or else I would have totally won" or something like that?

Yep. Unferth tells how Breca defeated Beowulf, but Beowulf states that after they swam equally for five nights (with swords and armor), they got separated by the storm, and he went and slayed nine sea monsters who tried to eat him, then washed ashore in Finland, safe and sound. And how neither Breca nor Unferth could do that sort of monster slaying, so swimming isn't really that important.

Proverbial Jon:
Ok, "Danish women, they're grrreatful!" is now my new favourite line! Hmm can't think of a practical real-life use for it though...

Hey dude, theres this danish woman I know, can you tell me a stereotypical fact about danish women that I could use to make fun of her?

Loved the Derpy sea-serpent.

AssassinJoe:
And now, the terrible movie based on a classic story is a terrible video game based on a terrible movie.

*sigh*

Edit: By the way, I do know this game has been out for a while.

Considering how the classic story was horribly botched by the movie, I definitely would have no faith in the game with or without looking at it.

I went to see the movie with friends and then wanted my money back. I found it interesting that they cast Angelina Jolie as Grendel's Mother, since Grendel's Mother is suppose to be an ugly monster, but I'm not complaining because with that look in mind, they chose right. But I was seriously pissed when Beowulf didn't kill her, because that is what was suppose to happen.

The only reason (Not a good one) I could see that they did that is that they wanted to cast Jolie for the part, but she wouldn't play it because it meant that she would be killed in the movie, so they folded and changed the story.

Considering that there are a few other versions of Beowulf in movie form, the interesting thing is that the best one is the original sci-fi channel movie, Grendel. The only problem with it is that they leave out the last part with the dragon, but to make up for it I guess, they gave Grendel's Mother wings. That is a change in the story I can live with. Especially since it did the story right by having Beowulf kill Grendel's Mother.

that episode was Grrreat-full !

Thanks to Paul, "awesomest" is now a word.
It's a fun coincidence that I was watching the Beowulf movie last night.

I love how even video games can't match the epicness of the real Beowolf. If I remember correctly (it's been like 8 years since I read it) he beat up the sea serpents while treading water, for like 3 days.

Graham_LRR:
Beowulf

One of the greatest mythic heroes travels through the vast Uncanny Valley.

Watch Video

Hey now, that sounds like the talk of someone who wants to do more rowing...

LOL. Great video, bad game.

"Come to our party."
"Well, I dunno, I'm kinda busy..."
"There will be feasting"
"I already ate, so..."
"and FORNICATING."
"Oh, wait what? I'm there!"

"Danish women are grrrateful"

so does that mean danish women rather have sex with Vikings instead of their own Danish men??

mekashiyu:
The derpy sea-serpent line got me. 'Cause it's exactly what I was thinking when I saw it. XD

ditto, I feel totally ninja'd

Tony the Tiger is a fornicator?

this episode was great! lol spot on

 Pages 1 2 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Registered for a free account here