Zero Punctuation: Splatterhouse

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Splatterhouse

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Splatterhouse.

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"In the lobby of his local YMCA"
made me laugh way too much.

O___o Looks..like I'll be saving my money.

I think that I'll just go play Madworld again.

Or at least wait for this to hit the bargain bin. I mean, I got Madworld for basically nothing and had a decent time.

Nice review, but is there really a point in reviewin games other people in The Escapist have already reviewed?

I suppose Yahtzee's hatred of repetition had been crushed under the heel of corporative needs.

No 'bloody' joke? Disappointing.

"Bugged up the butt." Gotta remember that one...

I really don't like this sort of game. There are just far too many of them. Its dull. congrats for not mentioning GOW though...

That was one of his worst ones. One too many REALLY tasteless, not very funny jokes.

I am really bummed about the reviews for this game. I know the original Splatterhouse was kinda crappy, but Splatterhouse 3 was freakin' sweet. I still have nightmares about boreworms eating my girlfriend from the inside out because of that game.

But oh well, not much I can do about it besides have more whiskey I guess.

Surprised at the lack of "Like God Of War, But" stamp

Nice review, Yahtzee. I'm a little disappointed you never reviewed Vanquish, though.

"Always, always love you more if you finish into their face." That's the kind fo stuff we want to hear.

Seriously, I found that hilarious.

I want a poster that says "MISSION STATEMENT: EAT ALL THE PIES"

I didn't mind the mic Yahtzee.
What I did mind was you reviewing a game I couldn't care less about!

Has Yahtzee been having problems with his mic? I haven't noticed. I'm not being sarcastic- I really haven't noticed at all.

Two reviews in a row mentioning Lee Drummand? I see someone has some issues they need to work out...<.<

----
time
event made me lol still i watched other reviews and i still thought it would be sorta nice but with your verbal raiping of it now im shure its shit

Hey Yahtzee, I recommend Sennheiser headsets, great quality.

Yep. It's true. The game gets repetitive with killing, QTE, and platforming full of instant death traps. Too bad. I wanted to give this game a try, but after looking at the gameplay (and ending), I'll skip it...or wait until the price drop. Either way, it's not worth full retail.

But I do admit having the original Splatterhouses included is a plus for some of that gory nostalgia.

Nobody has given a good (or even passable) score to this game... I think it was a poor year for Namco :P

Good review.

Never been that into Hack n' Slashes.

i am not god:
"Always, always love you more if you finish into their face." That's the kind fo stuff we want to hear.

Seriously, I found that hilarious.

I have to agree, in that it was both absolutely horrible and hilarious at the same time.

Shock humor is apparently better than the shock value of the games gore...

The part where Yahtzee said girls will love you more if you splooge all over their face is wrong. It's their HAIR that they love it all over.

So it's some kind of cross between every slasher flick ever made, Hellraiser, and The Mask?

poor, gullible me. There I was thinking Yahtzee went old school and decided to review a really old game in this new age. Turned out it was just another pointless remake. Oh and it's apparently bad.

Nothing against Yahtzee here, the games seem to be dying if that's all they can think about, sad, sad state of affairs

I wish he'd stop reviewing all the currently coming out big titles and review some of the more obscure ones.

I had already seen previews for Splatterhouse and already decided that it looked like crap. I didn't need his review to reinforce that.

How about reviewing some lesser known titles so I can see if I'd rather buy those, eh?

I hope he will do Donkey Kong next week. But he seemed more possitive about this game then some other reviewers. And I Am looking forward to his next award giving episode.

For once me and Yatzee agree on something.

The minute i saw that this game was nothing but boobs and blood, i just stoped caring. I also have the bad feeling that someone is going to blame this game for going on a rampage.

Usually, Yahtzee overexaggerates things in order to make his point, but in this particular case the truth is even worse. Words cannot transmit the pure agony of seeing the same stupid killing animation over and over and you are forced to battle nearly every boss a thousand times, except for the last boss, which you don't battle at all. You press some buttons and there goes your climatic ending.

Developers rush things toward the end because not everyone is going to get to the ending, so why spend all the money on something not everyone is going to see.

So the playthroughs I saw on Mahalo's channel weren't the result of the ever annoying YouTube video and audio desynching problem I see so much of these days, the game's sound really does cut out at times?

I'm not surprised Yahtzee hated this game but what pisses me off is he has the nerve to say the older Splatterhouse games are bad too. Maybe the first one hasn't aged well but the others? Especially the second one?

I hope he will do Donkey Kong next week. But he seemed more possitive about this game then some other reviewers. And I Am looking forward to his next award giving episode.

No, no, Good lord no. The last thing I want is for him to critique that game because I know it's going to end up with the same lame excuses every DKC fanboy had to gripe about: lack of Kremlings, can't use Diddy, I can't work the Wiimote for the 12 hundredth time, blah blah blah.

MirrorSweep:
O___o Looks..like I'll be saving my money.

Sadly....I kinda knew this game would dissapoint.

Oh well. Time to save up for Killzone 3

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