Zero Punctuation: World of Warcraft: Cataclysm

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I'm one that's loathed by most on WoW: a completely casual player.

By casual, I mean that if I get more than a handful of hours in a week, I've been overdoing it.

I played since Closed Beta. I leveled, participated in guilds (hell, I became the leveling Drill Sergeant for the guild before I become Guild Master). I raided during the old days and helped the guild get to be one of the tops on the server.

Then I got bored and tired of the changing population. This isn't one of those 'things were so much better in the old days' rants. The people I played with changed their attitudes as well. It wasn't just new people--it seemed that EVERYONE got into the quest for the best equipment and numbers.

So, after a few years of dedicated, minimum-8-hours-a-day play: I quit.

Didn't go back for a long while. When the first expansion came out, I bought it and played it...but I changed my play style. I play when I can, here and there--and mostly solo. It means I can't do much in the way of instances, but I can level just fine. I can see the world, play most of the quests...and even check out the lower level instances when I get high enough to solo them.

I played enough to wrap up Outland and then: I quit again.

Same for Lich King. I played the open content, tried new characters--even leveled up new classes to 80. But then I got tired enough and quit.

These days? Well, Blizzard sent me a link for ten free days on Cataclysm. I'm on Day 7, playing a Worgen and a Goblin off and on when I get a few minutes. I've enjoyed the new starting areas and content so far, but I'm not seeing enough to make me re-subscribe when the ten days is up.

As for 'I do it for the social scene.' Sorry, but have you SEEN the social life there? Check out General or Trade. These aren't people I want much to do with in real life, let alone in a game. I do group with folks I meet to help out on quick quests, and I do my best to be polite and helpful. Heck, I've even spent time in the newbie zones during previous releases making bags and distributing them for free.

But dedicating my life to it? Nope. Getting married and having a two year old means that I haven't even got a PS3 or Xbox 360 in the house. First time since the original Playstation that I haven't had systems on launch date.

Blood Elves? Hottest race? Dude, Draenei chicks are WAY hotter!!

Don't believe me? Then check out the artwork of DrGraevling:

Best review ever. Anyone who thinks otherwise is lying to themselves about not being a sheep.

Why were the first 5 posts put on probation? WTF? Whoever that mod was they have the brain of a biased chimp.

They were put on probation for not telling us the secret to time travel and somehow being able to watch a four minute video before posting two minutes after the video was uploaded. Posting without watching the video is useless in terms of discussion value and is only done so that people can be the first to respond to the videos, and resultantly is a form of obnoxious behaviour that we will punish for.

Am I only one who thinks that anyone who says "Alliance sucks!" or "Horde sucks!" or something like that, is an idiot?

Blood Elves? Hottest race? Dude, Draenei chicks are WAY hotter!!

And this. Blood elf females look like Paris Hilton. Freakin female dwarfs look better than them.

yahtzee has a child?

Well, a lot of people play WoW because of the social aspect rather than just the numbers.

Yeah, that's generally the only reason I still play. The game itself isn't much fun after a few years, but talking to the cool people you meet on WoW is!

It was always makes me smile a bit when Yahtzee mentions a game I really, really like like Super Metroid.


The only problem I have with WoW is that in order for a new player to experience the Cataclysm content (IE new races), they have to spend $120 (Vanilla/BC bundle + Wotlk + Cata). They really need bundle vanilla/bc/wotlk all into one $40 bundle and not have WotLK at he same price as Cata.

they did prior to cata launch, don't know if it's still going now tho
think it was $5 for vanilla, $5 for TBC & $10 for WotLK

That lasted for only a week

As someone who plays Alliance, I have to agree somewhat with the "Fuck Alliance" mentality. Horde seem to get cooler mounts, for instance. But you can't play as an long-haired leaping Gnome called Overfed if you are a Horde, so War reference for the win.

I always love his reviews. A lot of them are really spot on.

Never played World of Warcraft myself but he does make you wonder if it's more tedious than fun. Also, it sounds like there isn't much of a story there.

I never thought yahtzee would actually give in.......I am disappoint.....

I dont play WoW an probably never will.

well, as much as theres a lot of truth in this episode, theres also a misunderstanding.

yes i play wow, but i generally pvp because raiding is somewhat like yahtzee said, although pve is getting a lot more dynamic and fun. pve is improving by leaps and bounds, and previously bored me to death but am having lots of fun in pve. as for pvp, the climbing numbers thing applies, but in a different way. its not "oh we get more numbers for higher numbers" its "i get higher numbers cause i become better at pvp and have more fun". even if you enter a battleground with weak gear, theres almost always someone with less gear then you because of rerolls and casuals, etc.

but the thing thats really missing from this is that the game is actually a very fun game. playing it is fun because of its controls and customizable UI. there is no PC game to date that is as rock solid as wow's engine, which makes it fun. im not talking graphics, or whatever, im talking controls and engine, playstyle and dynamics.

I play wow because i love third person RPGs with lots of keybindings and tight controls, and really... wow is the best at this, as harsh of a truth it is.

for me, damaging numbers are great but only minor, but when I'm not having fun, i dont play. occationally im stuck in a grind, but the end result adds more fun, and most the time was worth it.

really, its all about self control, once you accept that wow is a ridiculous treadmill, you can actually learn to take advantage of it and also use it to know that the game is best when played in bursts. let me explain, once you realize that there will be another wave of easily obtainable gear every two to three months, (if you're smart) you'll see that theres really zero point to bum rush the game only for the sake of getting gear. but if you play and have fun while obtaining gear, then you cant lose.

if you indeed play the game like yahtzee explains it, then you probably arent thinking straight and cant realize why exactly you play this game to begin with.

just my opinion.


Well if your only reason for WoW is to socialize then you have my pity. Minecraft has social aspects as well. And if you socialize over such a pathetic excuse for a game as WoW then you have many other problems. Seriously?! Why does everyone bring up this as their only and last defense for this game? "It's social" "I play it with my mates" "My girlfriend and I pretend to have sex in the forest with our avatars". Well good golly sweet molly! It's not like there aren't a thousand other games out there for socializing. Most, if not all of them, not so shallow and depressingly life wrenching as World of Warcraft. You are trying to defend a GAME on the fact that it is good because of other people, a completely separate element from the game itself. It would be like saying sawing my arm off is a good social activity because my best friend is the one doing the sawing!

Oh, I am not trying to defend Wow. It is doing quite fine without my aid. All I was trying to do is to show yoy a different aspect about the game, you seem to be ignoring. There are of course plenty of other "excuses" to play Wow, as you called it. Here are a few of my personal ones, I am sure there are plent of other:

-I like the warcraft universe. I played the strategy games and enjoyed the lore. Sure you can read all about it on the internet, watch videos of the lore-relevant-boss-fights on youtube, but that's not the same.

-The roleplaying community in wow is pretty large and allows for some decent pping, which I enjoy.

- Wow's basic concept might be boring and easy, but it is hard to master and hard to play perfect. This happens on a level that has nothing to do with items of talents, but with the way you play, with the decisions you make while playing. I can explain that in detail, if you want, but I think doing it preemtively would eat up too much space in the post.

My basic understanding of your position is that you seem to think wow is some kind of evil psycho drug that takes away peoples lives. This is ironic because Blizzard has done a lot over the last years to make the game way LESS addictive. Here are a few changes from classic wow to today's that fall into that category:

-Gold is less important (less motivation to grind yourself stupid)

-A huge portion of your Gear is regulated over points, which have a weekly and daily cap. There is not benefit in playing after you have reached that cap (i.e.: To reach your daily point limt, that you cant get outside of raids, you must play one heroic instance = 1 hour). In classic wow everything was based around drops. You could grind that stuff and you had to (or be really lucky) The raid-instances are a lot faster overall. I remember myself spending eight hours straight in one molten core run, not passing the first three bossses. Today'S radiding content can be done in two to three days per week, each having 4 hours of raiding. So in Summary to play wow at maximum time/reward efficiency (not maximum reward!) you don't need more than 20 hours per week. And with these 20 hours you will already near top on most servers, if done correctly.

-Reputation for the games various factions is now easy and fast to get by running dungeons or doing daily quests (can be done once every day). After that, no benefit. In classic Reputation was a pain in the ass to get and could take several hundred hours of your life.

Of course one could argue that these changes have the effect of "forcing" the player to play every day and therefore are increasing the chance of additiction. But honestly, I don'T buy that. The only stuff in wow that can be done ad infinitum every day are collecting vanity stuff and achievements, which every game has. So this kinda makes the "wow is addictive"-argument invalid for me.

Because frankly, if you manage to get addicted from that, you had problems beforehand.

I can fully understand if you don't like wow, but getting all worked up about how evil it is seems a bit too fox-news-stlye for me.

Ive never played whats wrong with the aliance?

Wait, How did he end up in a guild?

He said not to ask. I woudn't mess with that

Nice job Yahtzee, very funny review, numbers! numbers! numbers! did you join a guild? lol

Of course he didn't spend the whole time ripping it apart. 95% of the internet is WoW players. Imagine the /ragequits and flames. It would tear the world apart.
In any case, thank god someone pointed out how lame it actually is. Wait...I am allowed to have an opinion on which games I think suck or not, aren't I?

Haha I love that review.
I can't even justify WoW to myself really, other than I like my friends I play with and as for raiding, less the stuff (for me) and more the actual completion of the whole freaking thing

To be fair, WoW does have PvP(kinda surprised he didn't touch on that) so that's one reason to raid dungeons for elite gear.

Great review, Yahtzee! Sorry you had to subject yourself to that snorefest of a game but it was entertaining to hear you talk about it.

Well, he didn't hate it which is enough for me. I personally think bragging rights, showing off and having those who do look at you in awe is a reason that is kinda more meaningful and rewarding than what you can get from most other games. Those who play for loot are just loners without friends on WoW.

Personally I like to raid because it's fun, getting better gear is only there to make doing the harder encounters possible. The same with PvP.

Ive never played whats wrong with the aliance?

As far as I understand it: Alliance = sort of good guys, Horde = outcasts. Fill in the blanks with basic psychology. For what it's worth I had much more fun (read: was surrounded by less douchebags) when I played Alliance in my brief experience with WoW. I'd like to give it a proper go but I'm becoming less able to justify the time and expense to myself...

The only thing stoping me from playing WoW is the fact that I have to keep paying for it.

Thanks so much for the laugh! Great review as always.

i can only find one reason for alliance sucking: its all humans! regular humans, british humans(/wolfes), low humans, low humans with beard and purple, pointy eared humans.
I've always thought that horde is more diverse

I couldnt have said it better myself. World of Warcraft is so horrible for end game now cause its just as was said. Its a mindless grind for numbers at least it used to be fun sorta.... I swear I log on and stand around trying to think of what to do and then after a hour of coming to no decsion log out and feel like a twat for wasting an hour.

After this review, i deleted my Rogue.
Thanks for saving my life Yahtzee!

Quite could always get to end game and just raid all the instances once and then quit till the next patch...that's what lots of people do.

Quite a fitting game to be reviewing given the events happening in yours(and my) city.

Awesome review. Certainly one of my favorites now. And honestly, fuck the Alliance.

I'm pretty sure Yahtzee's just angry because his NUMBERS aren't high enough.

Reap on ye fucking reaper man.

Interestingly the "numbers" argument could be used towards just about all MMOs. I mean...In essence why is everything done in EVE Online? The goal is to have the most uber XP character with the most uber flying ship of doom with X amount of uber mods and high powered guns to which you can either go grind your way through missions (in hopes of earning even more credits or loot to build an even more uber character and spaceships) or go PVP in hopes of the same + pulling your wank on some killboard. Sure you can join alliances and try and dominate areas of the map but to what ends? Are you actually creating anything that isn't part of some giant war machine? Nope. No matter how you slice it the game is just Counter Strike with spaceships, just that it takes 10x longer to achieve anything. Seriously, it be nice if EVE or any other MMO would actually allow you to achieve something positive like building a home for your peoples to live in peace and prosperity or maybe a franchise chain of truck stop diners where weary travelers can stop and have a burger and a milkshake.

Really all one ever does in any MMO is grind away endlessly to make a more uber character with more powerful weapons/spells/armor and the like to take on more formidable opponents which leads to a more uber character who is able to buy more powerful weapons/spells/armor...Round and round in a vicious circle.

"Fuck the Alliance." George Fischer

I might get into WoW once they add Skaven and Lizardmen.

Also, have they added Beasts of Chaos yet?

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