Zero Punctuation: World of Warcraft: Cataclysm

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Ah, this was one of the funniest yet! Great video.

Holy aging GeriBATtricMAN. Freebird?
How fucking old are you?

When cataclysm came out my reaction was 'HOLY SHIT! they haven't finished D3 yet for THIS!?' not a shit is given by me about World of Warcraft.

I made reference to this a long time ago in one of the billions of WOW: Cataclysm videos that the escapist have uploaded, and this video just told me all i needed to know. Escapist magazine is being paid off by Blizzard to hype up their shitty games. Poor Yahtzee, forced to sell out...

(expecting a ban)

Yahtzee you ask why ppl raid. Why didnt you try raiding too? u had a guild....might help u see a different side of the game ^^

N didnt you think that the new quests are soo much better than the way old ones worked...
i dont think u gave enough cradit to the changes put in the Cataclysm :X
Tho i agree with the nobody loves me baby scene....too much of that around :X

Mhm It's not a brilliant game but it's somewhat playable, I think this review reflects that surprisingly well.

It's like... if it wasn't so damn addictive the entire thing would just drag, it's like it tricks your mind into thinking it's more enjoyable. Not that that's entirely a bad thing though, it's a damn good time waster.

Ha, good as always.
Just one thing though, Alliance still have the best looking female designs - they have the Draenei.

Yes. Absolutely yes. This is the single best summary of World of Warcraft I've ever seen. What said about the 'grats' spam from achievements, and why people raid, is exactly my perspective on WoW.

I play. But I don't do anything besides dicking around, doing whatever takes my fancy. I don't have a guild, or raid, or battlegrounds... and for some reason people have a problem with this.

You know, given that Yahtzee really makes a point of hating on MMORPG's in past reviews I think he did a really balanced job here. He was certainly fair, and that ending rant was both genius and insightful. As someone who once played MMORPG's (though not WoW) I can say that everything he said about the addictive nature of the game is true. And yes, at the end of the day, does it really have any truly important purpose? Great points, Yahtzee.

Yahtzee in a WoW guild? *universe explodes....and it is awesome*

O.o
God damn it, Yahtzee describes WoW more forgivingly than I do.
That makes me think it's worth it.
That makes me want to go back.
THIS IS A PLOT, ISN'T IT? NO, BLIZZARD, YOU MAY NOT HAVE MY MONEY!

imo funniest ZP in ages

After watching I just had to say to myself "hnnnnnn.....yea pretty much."

Also yes, FUCK the Alliance.

I would like to thank you, Yahtzee, for the insightful review. It was quite enjoyable. ^_^

I am a fervent WoW player. I actually went through a cycle:

1. First, I started playing b/c my husband plays. I slowly leveled a character with his help, enjoying reading the quests and the lore Blizzard has worked so hard on.

2. When I hit level 80 (this was pre-Cata), I began what's called "running heroics" (playing through heroic dungeons that drop superior gear to up the amount of damage/healing/etc. a character can do).

3. After I had enough superior gear on my character (I was a tauren [cow race] druid, with a restoration [healer] spec in my talent tree [enhances abilities you use often in your role]), I moved on to raiding. {And, to a degree, Yahtzee is right: you raid for better gear, which you use for raiding again. The point there is to be able to maximize your ability within that raid, and then you farm it for badges to buy tier gear (the best gear you can get) to prepare for the next raid that will be patched in (this is where end-game content is: not the first raid, but more like the 3rd / 4th raid to be patched into the game). After that, players tend to farm raids for badges to get other useful things that can be bought with them, like mounts (flying or ground), and they far to make money to buy things they want to buy, and they do it to pass the time.} But anyways, I healed through the first Wrath of the Lich King raid (Naxxramas [which was actually a revamped version of the original Naxx that came out before the first two expansions]).

4. I didn't raid for very long: it is very stressful when there are a lot of elitist pigs that play World of Warcraft. When everything gets critiqued, and it becomes an unenjoyable job, it turns you off to playing at all. So I did something new: I switched to a Roleplayer server, created a new character (Night Elf druid) and decided to basically start over to remind myself why I -do- enjoy the game. I leveled her quite quickly, mostly because I wanted her to be an RP character. The reason I ever leveled her was because there was something I found that I liked and wanted her to use or wear for her RP. I downloaded a Storyline addon (MyRolePlay) and filled in her information when I started her.

5. As I continued to level her and get new "RP gear", and occasionally work on achievements that added to the SL (storyline) of my druid, I came across an abandoned tailoring shop in the Park in Stormwind. It was being used by two other players as an "RP base of operations" of sorts: they ran an RP clinic, openly taking in "injured" players and helping to care for them by bandaging wounds, offering water to drink, and even offering to "house" a player overnight in the "upstairs rooms". I found the environment welcoming and relaxing and friendly, and offered my services as a healing druid.

6. As I played, spending a "shift" in the clinic with another healer, it was interesting. We got different people every evening, and the RP was varied from person to person. It was quite fun. But it got a little monotonous. So I decided to finish leveling her to level 80, and ran heroics a bit, and occasionally got into one of the one-boss raids with other players. I also tried to remember to do daily quests each day to make money, as I was attempting to work on different achievements that require a fair bit of gold-spending.

As I did each new thing in this cycle of changing my activities, I updated and deepened my character's SL. It went from a two-dimensional character to a living, breathing, feeling being that I found I deeply enjoyed role-playing as. Then, when Cata hit, and everything changed, and the new things opened up, I worked fervently to quest in each new zone, reading every single quest to absorb the new / updated lore, until I hit 85. And as I did this, I took in how the world had changed, and I reminisced leveling my druid when I first started her... it was very personal for her SL info, and I updated it a few weeks ago, smiling as I filled in everything that had happened in her "life" within Azeroth.

All in all, WoW is a great game (even though it is indeed insanely evil XD), as long as it's done lightly, and with moderation. As long as you can remember to do ti because you enjoy it, instead of playing it like it's a job, then everything is fine.

Anyways, thank you again, Yahtzee! I love your videos, and while this one was completely unexpected, I'll always be grateful that you were honest about every aspect of World of Warcraft. ~bow~ Elune protect thee. ~.^

Harsh but fair...

Mackheath:
How the hell did you end up in a guild? You're a gloomy misanthropic bugger, the exact opposite the Lords of Blizzard want to see running around incase it upsets the automated responses of the gamers.

Have you played WoW? A large amount of the population is like that.

I find it funny that the first five posts on this forum after Yahtzee put it up were put on probation. :D They're about as offensive as a bunny rabbit squeaky toy.

I can understand why it's an achievement to be killed by Deathwing. I've been around Azeroth and haven't seen him once! Bad timing on my part, I suppose.

No offense, Yahtzee, but if that reason why you stopped is the only one, then you may have other problems. Good attempt at self-esteem, though.

Still, funny stuff. An interesting critique.

Speaking as someone who got bored of WoW before leaving Bloodmyst Isle...

The man speaks truth.

AuroraDreamchild:
I would like to thank you, Yahtzee, for the insightful review. It was quite enjoyable. ^_^

I am a fervent WoW player. I actually went through a cycle:

1. First, I started playing b/c my husband plays. I slowly leveled a character with his help, enjoying reading the quests and the lore Blizzard has worked so hard on.

2. When I hit level 80 (this was pre-Cata), I began what's called "running heroics" (playing through heroic dungeons that drop superior gear to up the amount of damage/healing/etc. a character can do).

3. After I had enough superior gear on my character (I was a tauren [cow race] druid, with a restoration [healer] spec in my talent tree [enhances abilities you use often in your role]), I moved on to raiding. {And, to a degree, Yahtzee is right: you raid for better gear, which you use for raiding again. The point there is to be able to maximize your ability within that raid, and then you farm it for badges to buy tier gear (the best gear you can get) to prepare for the next raid that will be patched in (this is where end-game content is: not the first raid, but more like the 3rd / 4th raid to be patched into the game). After that, players tend to farm raids for badges to get other useful things that can be bought with them, like mounts (flying or ground), and they far to make money to buy things they want to buy, and they do it to pass the time.} But anyways, I healed through the first Wrath of the Lich King raid (Naxxramas [which was actually a revamped version of the original Naxx that came out before the first two expansions]).

4. I didn't raid for very long: it is very stressful when there are a lot of elitist pigs that play World of Warcraft. When everything gets critiqued, and it becomes an unenjoyable job, it turns you off to playing at all. So I did something new: I switched to a Roleplayer server, created a new character (Night Elf druid) and decided to basically start over to remind myself why I -do- enjoy the game. I leveled her quite quickly, mostly because I wanted her to be an RP character. The reason I ever leveled her was because there was something I found that I liked and wanted her to use or wear for her RP. I downloaded a Storyline addon (MyRolePlay) and filled in her information when I started her.

5. As I continued to level her and get new "RP gear", and occasionally work on achievements that added to the SL (storyline) of my druid, I came across an abandoned tailoring shop in the Park in Stormwind. It was being used by two other players as an "RP base of operations" of sorts: they ran an RP clinic, openly taking in "injured" players and helping to care for them by bandaging wounds, offering water to drink, and even offering to "house" a player overnight in the "upstairs rooms". I found the environment welcoming and relaxing and friendly, and offered my services as a healing druid.

6. As I played, spending a "shift" in the clinic with another healer, it was interesting. We got different people every evening, and the RP was varied from person to person. It was quite fun. But it got a little monotonous. So I decided to finish leveling her to level 80, and ran heroics a bit, and occasionally got into one of the one-boss raids with other players. I also tried to remember to do daily quests each day to make money, as I was attempting to work on different achievements that require a fair bit of gold-spending.

As I did each new thing in this cycle of changing my activities, I updated and deepened my character's SL. It went from a two-dimensional character to a living, breathing, feeling being that I found I deeply enjoyed role-playing as. Then, when Cata hit, and everything changed, and the new things opened up, I worked fervently to quest in each new zone, reading every single quest to absorb the new / updated lore, until I hit 85. And as I did this, I took in how the world had changed, and I reminisced leveling my druid when I first started her... it was very personal for her SL info, and I updated it a few weeks ago, smiling as I filled in everything that had happened in her "life" within Azeroth.

All in all, WoW is a great game (even though it is indeed insanely evil XD), as long as it's done lightly, and with moderation. As long as you can remember to do ti because you enjoy it, instead of playing it like it's a job, then everything is fine.

Anyways, thank you again, Yahtzee! I love your videos, and while this one was completely unexpected, I'll always be grateful that you were honest about every aspect of World of Warcraft. ~bow~ Elune protect thee. ~.^

Since I leveled up (long ago) in a merciless PvP server I feel obliged to do this;
*as I wipe the blood off my Shivs in order to apply a fresh dose of poisons, I momentarily stop to catch a glimpse at your actions. Then, as I go back to my business, I say to myself ; "Ugh (/facepalm)... roleplayers..."

First I never would've expected to see a WoW review on this site.
Second it was no where near as bad as I thought it was gonna be, he actually did say good things, but of course with good comes bad and that is why I watch Yahtzee.

Having played WoW, City of Heroes, Final Fantasy XI, some Everquest, a little Guildwars, etc...I've since given up on this particular model of online play. They're always fun to start. They always do just one thing new or different enough to make me think that, somehow, this time, I've found something different, and worthy of my continued attention and emotional dedication.

But after tearing myself free from these games, they always, 100% of the time, leave me with the nagging feeling that they have served me no other purpose than a monumental time-suck. I feel no fulfillment. I have not made friends. I have not learned anything and nothing has been expressed. I've let another accursed little goblin worm its way into my head and take tiny little bites out of my soul--for no reason.

There is a concept, as a student of game design, of how to make a game more addictive. Lengthen objectives with mini-objectives. Have the rewards lead to new tasks. Have the Big Reward always just over the horizon. Figure out your risk/reward cycle and exploit the hell out of it.

MMO's run headlong at all of these design philosophies and milk them to death until they become cardinal sins. They do this because more time spent playing the game equates to more money given via subscription--or pay-to-play items, or advertising, or what have you. They are money-making machines. Nothing more. Nothing less. There is no art in them but what is derived by accidental consequences of the sheer amount of time and human energy involved in their continued existence.

The thing they forget to tell you when they're arguing about how games have the capacity to tell stories in new, unique ways is that games also have an inherent stranglehold on select human behavioral tendencies, in a way that other mediums of art absolutely cannot imitate. Game designers sit down and ask, "How do I tweak the player's brain to make them think this, and do that?" MMO designers sit down and ask: How do I keep them playing? It's psychological exploitation, plain and simple--and the responsibility cuts both ways, as players who dedicate forty hours of their week to what is at best masturbation and at worst sado-masochistic extortion continually fail to ask, "Why the fuck am I doing this?"

Eventually you just have to take a step back, unplug from the mechanisms they've behaviorally designed to snare you, and ask . . . why the hell am I still playing this game? And when you do, there's this kind of base-level Lovecraftian horror when you realize the weeks and months you've hurled into the void, that you can never have back--that, someday, you will be lying on your deathbed, desperately trying to account for the cumulative 48-hour-period you wasted, vainly hoping to obtain a fucking digital hat. Or growing a digital plant. Or whacking digital monsters with a digital stick, to obtain digital money, to continue buying more of the shiny arbitrary digital macguffins they've laid on your increasingly-endless breadcrumb trail into the abyss . . . and all of it is so hopelessly, ridiculously inconsequential to any kind of objective reality.

It's just a waste of time. Nothing more. Nothing less.

So yeah. I would have to agree. They're evil. WoW is only (inevitably) the oldest, largest, and guiltiest of this breed--and if it wasn't WoW, it would be some other game, occupying the exact same place and doing the exact same thing.

Thank you, Yahtzee, I'm now justified to not buy World of Warcraft.

I'm surprised. Yahtzee actually had a higher opinion of it than I did. That never happens! He always hates things more! Then again, I seem to have some kind of mental WoW armor, because I've tried playing it a couple times and it always utterly fails to suck me in.

It also doesn't help that I consider the game to be irreparably flawed at a fundamental level.

Dragonpit:
I find it funny that the first five posts on this forum after Yahtzee put it up were put on probation. :D They're about as offensive as a bunny rabbit squeaky toy.

Head's up: people who respond to any new video uploads on Escapist before it's physically possible to watch the video all the way through get probated. So if you ever find yourself with an uncontrollable desire to make a witty reply 2 minutes after a 6 minute video is uploaded to the site...try to hold yourself back ;P

I must say, a MUMMORPUGHER of all things? Im shocked. But honestly i just dont get games like WOW. Just dont get them, and I probably never will.

everything he said is true and as an accountant in training i have to say i love numbers

I guess hell has frozen over.

The only reason I have never played WOW is that I am afraid I would like it too much and my life would become a bad country song.

What's a Warcraft?

But seriously, that part on numbers was heart felt and terrifying.

The reason I've never picked up wow is because I dont like the idea of having to depend on other people.
But Yahtzee said this new troll mage can do hard quests on its own?
I might pick the game up now.

thanks for a great review as always Yahtzee.

Anti Nudist Cupcake:
He not only reviewed cataclysm, he said it was quite good...

Now I HAVE To play this, just to see what the fuss is about and because I have been thinking about doing it for quite a while.

Wait, was this what yahtzee was doing during that big flood in Australia?

...

Playing wow? During a flood?

MADNESS!

You might as well play cataclysm during a cataclysm.

He had a good point how stupid ppl are that say GZ for every achievement no matter how effortless it is to get it.

Got farther than I did. I only made it to level 20 before the NUMBAHs lost their appeal to me.

Although that's really how every MMO goes for me. Play it for a bit, bore of it because getting to the top tier requires waaaay to much commitment in time, money, or both.

Exterminas:

Frozengale:

Exterminas:
I am suprised by this shallow opinion.
Wow is bad, because it ruined a few lives?
Doesn't make that gaming bad, because it ruined a few lives?

No, it doesn't. If you let your life get ruined by something as easy as Wow, then there weere clearly problems there before.

Like... oh, lets say: A child, that you didn't want in the first place and that shackles you to your home.

A "few" is an understatement when it comes to WoW. I've watched several people have their lives ruined in some way by this game. If it isn't neglecting their job or their school work, it's neglecting their family and friends and becoming obsessed by increasing their numbers in a silly little game.

Some games are WORTH spending several hours of your life on. Minecraft is not only a game but a very nice creative outlet for example. WoW is just an endless stream of killing the same enemies in the same ways until you get a level to kill them in a slightly different same way. Then you rinse and repeat. Raise your numbers, and at the end of the day find that you you've wasted a large amount of time on something incredibly pointless.

Sorry but, you are reducing a MMORPG to it's gameplay, which ignores the two M.
If Minecraft is a crative outlet, then Wow is a socializing platform.
So what you might have seen as "neglecting friends and family" might actually have been "finding new friends" for the playing person.
I met a lot of people via wow who are now close real life friends. It's a great hobby to do with great people. Playing it alone would result in said parade of numbers.

I don't raid to get a bigger sowrd. I raid to achieve something with friends. It's like building an IKEA-cupboard together. Often frustrating but uniting.

Well if your only reason for WoW is to socialize then you have my pity. Minecraft has social aspects as well. And if you socialize over such a pathetic excuse for a game as WoW then you have many other problems. Seriously?! Why does everyone bring up this as their only and last defense for this game? "It's social" "I play it with my mates" "My girlfriend and I pretend to have sex in the forest with our avatars". Well good golly sweet molly! It's not like there aren't a thousand other games out there for socializing. Most, if not all of them, not so shallow and depressingly life wrenching as World of Warcraft. You are trying to defend a GAME on the fact that it is good because of other people, a completely separate element from the game itself. It would be like saying sawing my arm off is a good social activity because my best friend is the one doing the sawing!

The weak get sucked in, the average get sucked in and eventually escape(some do) and the strong/smart escape before its too late. WoW is good at what it does but Blizzard is evil and i managed to get that dried up husk i cal a soul back before it was too late. To be fair it was a dried up husk prior to WoW but now it smells of other souls from being in the crate with the other souls.

teknoarcanist:
I have not made friends.

Then you probably missed the point. Most of the reason I still play WoW is because of the friends I've made while playing it.

So yahtzee liked it? Wow I did not see that one coming. Guess I can't blame him though, the game has gotten a lot less of get/kill x amount of x. Its not gone but a lot less of that and leveling has gotten tremendously easier. Curse you blizzard for bringing me back.

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