Critical Miss: Children of Steam #2

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This. Is. Hillarious!

Very, very slowly, I am starting to like this strip. It has taken a while but it's just starting to wind its way into my affections.

MelasZepheos:
Wow. That wasn't insulting to console gamers at all. I'm just glad to see that when the Escapist magazine sets down guidelines about not sparking off wars by baiting console fanboys they apply equally.

But then again, what do I know? I'm just a console scrub, I don't know my left from right and the only way I can communicate to the people of this website at all is by smashing my head down on this weird thing covered in letters in front of me.

I don't understand how this was a shot at console gamers; if anything it parodies everything but console gamers.

In short let me break it down for you

1. IGN: Only plays consoles and doesn't focus on PC games for the most part. Not insulting the intelligence of console gamers, instead mocking the site.

2. Escapist building: These forums are known for their PC elitism and this comic mocks that

3. Alone in the Dark game: This was a horribly designed game, mocking the game, not the system

So unless I missed something and you would love to point it out so I can correct that, that'd be great

Souplex:
You are aware that PC game sales make up like 7% of the market right?
PC gamers are what I refer to as a "Megaphone minority" a group that despite not reflecting a majority seems like they are bigger than they are by how loud and obnoxious they are.

Can I see the source that supports these numbers?

OT: While this may all happen I have seen the alternative to steam and pc gaming,

Screaming kids on Xbox Live!

image

Hey hey poking fun at console tards this time!

Anyway it really wouldn't be long until someone simply cracks the Steam games so long as you have them installed already.

I don't get the escapist jab, who are they?

Geo Da Sponge:

Pseudonym2:
You come off as incredibly elitist. Only people with powerful computers and connection to the internet can use Steam. Not everyone can afford both of those.

Well for a start, you don't need a powerful PC to use Steam, especially since many of the games on it are quite old and could on just about anything, eg. Fallout 2 or the Commandos series. Secondly, if you don't have an internet connection, how are you reading this webcomic?

Obviously I have a good connection right now, which is why I am able to use Steam. The fact that you assumed I would only be angered at classicism if was on the bottom rung is also worrying.

JeanLuc761:

Steam has a games catalog ranging from early 90s (Doom) to 2011 (Dead Space 2). Every PC on the planet can run at least a dozen games on Steam.

Secondly, while it's true that not everyone has an internet connection, the vast majority do.

I have to check the statistics (Would anyone know where to check? It's been at least a year since I did.) but I'm pretty sure the vast majority of Americans do not have high speed internet access in their homes and about half don't have any connection at all in their houses.

While there are a few good games someone can run on steam with an old computer, there are other sites that have the games DRM free assuming the player can't get a physical copy.

Thank god for Blizzard.

Love your comics, <3 slowbros bit

*looks at his own Steam account*

72 Games...72 in total...

May the gods have mercy on my soul...

The Slowbro thing was hilarious!

perfect use of the slobros

Pseudonym2:

Geo Da Sponge:

Pseudonym2:
You come off as incredibly elitist. Only people with powerful computers and connection to the internet can use Steam. Not everyone can afford both of those.

Well for a start, you don't need a powerful PC to use Steam, especially since many of the games on it are quite old and could on just about anything, eg. Fallout 2 or the Commandos series. Secondly, if you don't have an internet connection, how are you reading this webcomic?

Obviously I have a good connection right now, which is why I am able to use Steam. The fact that you assumed I would only be angered at classicism if was on the bottom rung is also worrying.

JeanLuc761:

Steam has a games catalog ranging from early 90s (Doom) to 2011 (Dead Space 2). Every PC on the planet can run at least a dozen games on Steam.

Secondly, while it's true that not everyone has an internet connection, the vast majority do.

I have to check the statistics (Would anyone know where to check? It's been at least a year since I did.) but I'm pretty sure the vast majority of Americans do not have high speed internet access in their homes and about half don't have any connection at all in their houses.

While there are a few good games someone can run on steam with an old computer, there are other sites that have the games DRM free assuming the player can't get a physical copy.

Are you saying your average Canadian has better internet connection then your average American?

Popcap must be making a KILLING!

Glad to see me investing in a console will keep my occupied during the steam apocalypse. I have to admit though, the loss of those 40 some games on steam will sting quite a bit. TF2 and my beloved Dawn of War games, especially...And then there's Mount and Blade, and CS:S, and Company of Heroes, and all the Unreal Tournament games, and the X-com pack I got last year....Oh god, please let steam stay up and running forever.

Why don't I care about Steam crashing or existing in the first place?
I guess it's a US thing and my home-land is not affected...

zombie711:
does that mean window games is the best on the pc now?

Even in a crisis such as this, that would still come across as a joke.

DTWolfwood:

fuck that i'm joining the horde! i will be feral, maddened, and hungry! GRRRRR Long Live Steam and Long Live Valve!

p.s. i can always fall back to Blizzard, my other great love óż

I will join you in the street. We will break windows and troll the masses.

Or go play Blizzard games........ idk
But a little bit of rioting would be nice.

More to the topic. I love this comic, it always make me laugh in one way or another.
In all reality, I would hope, with Valves last breath (that's just unlikely) they would release a patch that allowed for community hosted support. And the child known as Steam would go on even after the parents death. That or you jump on the de-authentication mod thing.

ok... i kind of liked the IGN joke, and the 2 guys outside the escapist building :P

nice touch

GeorgW:
I don't get the escapist jab, who are they?

Same here. I think they're supposed to be editors, like maybe Funk, or Tito. Only we've never seen them so..... fingers cross for Susan Arendt guest appearance.

OT: Will the console people shut up, we Know this isn't statistically correct or wahtever. It's a JOKE. One that i laughed REALLY hard at.

Also, I SO have a crush on badass-survivor-Erin right now. That's one thing that's good about an apocalypse though; Humanity will never die off because in any given doomsday scenario, the few women survivors are so damn hot, by virtue, and hence will never have problems....well, you get the rest. see also, Zoey(L4D) and her fanbase.

HT_Black:
Why do those retarded Ex-capists seem so familiar...?

No, I'm serious. I can't put my finger on it. Does anyone know?

The one on the right is frighteningly attractive.

JeanLuc761:

Souplex:
You are aware that PC game sales make up like 7% of the market right?
PC gamers are what I refer to as a "Megaphone minority" a group that despite not reflecting a majority seems like they are bigger than they are by how loud and obnoxious they are.

The 30 million users on Steam alone would like to have a word with you. Along with the 11 million WoW players. There's probably some overlap between those two groups, but my point still stands.

You do realize that there's probably a billion gamers world wide? The vast majority living in third world countries?

Yeah... 30 something million gamers doesn't seem like a lot anymore, does it?

Pseudonym2:

Geo Da Sponge:

Pseudonym2:
You come off as incredibly elitist. Only people with powerful computers and connection to the internet can use Steam. Not everyone can afford both of those.

Well for a start, you don't need a powerful PC to use Steam, especially since many of the games on it are quite old and could on just about anything, eg. Fallout 2 or the Commandos series. Secondly, if you don't have an internet connection, how are you reading this webcomic?

Obviously I have a good connection right now, which is why I am able to use Steam. The fact that you assumed I would only be angered at classicism if was on the bottom rung is also worrying.

I don't see how that makes my point any less valid. I'll rephrase for the pedantically minded: "Well for a start, you don't one does not need a powerful PC to use Steam, especially since many of the games on it are quite old and could on just about anything, eg. Fallout 2 or the Commandos series. Secondly, if you don't one does not have an internet connection, how are you does one reading this webcomic?

JeanLuc761:

Steam has a games catalog ranging from early 90s (Doom) to 2011 (Dead Space 2). Every PC on the planet can run at least a dozen games on Steam.

Secondly, while it's true that not everyone has an internet connection, the vast majority do.

I have to check the statistics (Would anyone know where to check? It's been at least a year since I did.) but I'm pretty sure the vast majority of Americans do not have high speed internet access in their homes and about half don't have any connection at all in their houses.

While there are a few good games someone can run on steam with an old computer, there are other sites that have the games DRM free assuming the player can't get a physical copy.

Let me rephrase the argument; who, out of the people who actually care what Steam is and are likely to be interested in gaming, will not have an internet connection?

Lolz @ teh slowpokes, though I will admitt if steam ever fell i would be one sad panda, sure there would be replacements, but it wouldn't be the same.........

I think I'm the only person who reads this comic who has truly no idea what's going on. I have some games on Steam, but I've been playing a game on a CD-ROM lately... can someone explain?

The escapist people are the people that make this comic, I thought it was obvious.

I love the people who are taking this seriously, throwing arguments to disprove the validity of this webcomic. Anyway, nice one - keep up the good work!

GrizzlerBorno:

GeorgW:
I don't get the escapist jab, who are they?

Same here. I think they're supposed to be editors, like maybe Funk, or Tito. Only we've never seen them so..... fingers cross for Susan Arendt guest appearance.

OT: Will the console people shut up, we Know this isn't statistically correct or wahtever. It's a JOKE. One that i laughed REALLY hard at.

Also, I SO have a crush on badass-survivor-Erin right now. That's one thing that's good about an apocalypse though; Humanity will never die off because in any given doomsday scenario, the few women survivors are so damn hot, by virtue, and hence will never have problems....well, you get the rest. see also, Zoey(L4D) and her fanbase.

Not true. They, especially Funk, have been in multiple videos.

Love the IGN guys being depicted as Slowbros.

You know, Minecraft isn't on Steam.

Apocalypse solved.

Grey Carter:

HT_Black:
Why do those retarded Ex-capists seem so familiar...?

No, I'm serious. I can't put my finger on it. Does anyone know?

The one on the right is frighteningly attractive.

I dare say that would be you then?

As far as I'm concerned, both PC gaming and console gaming could fall. I'd just go back to board-gaming and table-top RPGing(and for that, I can just make stuff up, even if I don't have the books).

SteelStallion:

JeanLuc761:

Souplex:
You are aware that PC game sales make up like 7% of the market right?
PC gamers are what I refer to as a "Megaphone minority" a group that despite not reflecting a majority seems like they are bigger than they are by how loud and obnoxious they are.

The 30 million users on Steam alone would like to have a word with you. Along with the 11 million WoW players. There's probably some overlap between those two groups, but my point still stands.

You do realize that there's probably a billion gamers world wide? The vast majority living in third world countries?

Yeah... 30 something million gamers doesn't seem like a lot anymore, does it?

Do you have ANY statistics or evidence to back that up? At all?

In America alone, there are (I think) 45 million + Xbox 360's in homes. There are 30 million registered users on Steam. There are 11 million users on WoW. There are over 80 million users who play social games on networks like Facebook. Those are all based off of real, verifiable statistics.

You show me ANY source that verifies there's even close to a billion gamers on this planet, and I'll be happy to lend your argument more weight.

Yea, though I walk through the shadow of the collapse of Steam, I will fear no boredom, for CHARNAME is with me; his swords and spells, they comfort me.

-Psalm 23:4 of the Gamer's Bible

I *actually* LoL'd when I saw the IGN crew.

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