Shamus Plays WoW #13: Crime and Punishment

 Pages 1 2 NEXT
 

Shamus Plays WoW #13: Crime and Punishment

Much to his dismay, Norman discovers that the people of Westfall are just as nuts as the people of Elwynn Forest.

Read Full Article

Great read again. Probably more fun if you're an ex-WoW player like me. :)

When I was playing WoW (in 2005 / 2006 / 2007) it was always fun, even though the quests didn't always make sense. It was playing with other people that made it interesting. That and the roleplaying and rerolling. But reading this... makes ya wonder. Still, I think I'll give it a try again one of these days.

Until then: keep the Shamus stories coming!

Wow what a great PSA. Remember kids illiterates don't do drugs. Just say no to reading.

Is that 12th picture supposed to be Mad Max reference? Because that's the first thing that sprung to my mind.

I can't wait to see how Norman is going to crack. For the love of all that is holy, this is some funny shit right ere.

The quest text in WoW can sometimes be like a story told by and idiot, full of sound and fury *puts on sunglasses* signifying nothing.

I wonder what Norman's horde equvialent is doing right now?

Oh god that last quest make so sense what so ever!!! That just make all the past quests seen logical.

The darkside beckons i c

O how terrible it must be for some1 to actually read the quest text RoFL

^_^ Best one yet Shamus. That dirt pie quest is an awesome find. Us Horde peeps missed out on Ally brand insanity.

This is why I never liked WoW. The quests were wither completly pointless or existed only as pop-culture jokes. There was no sense of accomplishment in anything besides "loot" and they could not even settle on good vs. evil in the Alliance vs Horde, because they did not want to shoehorn players into one choice or the other. It was just these guys vs. those guys.

Holy crap these quests are significantly more retarded than I remember. Very sad that such stupid thing can be going on in the world's most popular MMO... or is it?

I can't wait to see Norman snap. It seems like he's quickly approaching his wits end.

Westfall really changed with the cataclysm, and not for the better. I recently did this quest on my low level human paladin. It really is there, and it is really this dumb. Normally I try not to think too much about quests like this, but this one literally makes no sense. Why not bring the carcass back for them to butcher and eat? Why not just grab the pumpkins that are sitting not 10 feet away? I won't spoil what happens next, but it's kinda disturbing.

I'm now seriously considering dropping the human storyline on him and going to play with the night elves. At least their quests (for the most part) make sense.

Pugiron:
This is why I never liked WoW. The quests were wither completly pointless or existed only as pop-culture jokes. There was no sense of accomplishment in anything besides "loot" and they could not even settle on good vs. evil in the Alliance vs Horde, because they did not want to shoehorn players into one choice or the other. It was just these guys vs. those guys.

Just like in real life.

Boneasse:
I can't wait to see how Norman is going to crack. For the love of all that is holy, this is some funny shit right ere.

He kills everyone in Westfall and joins the Horde?

Looks like this Mage has became...
*puts on sunglasses*
Dis-enchanted
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Nicolaus99:
^_^ Best one yet Shamus. That dirt pie quest is an awesome find. Us Horde peeps missed out on Ally brand insanity.

The Hoard has a different kind of insanity behind the quests. Really, the only thing that changes is the justification offered. The Alliance justifies murders with justice and duty and all of that hogwash. The Hoard offers survival and maintenance of freedom as excuses. Hell, in some cases the justification itself is crazy, such as any quest given by a gnome standing near machinery or a goblin doing anything.

Wait until you get to Uldum and play through Harrison Jones and the Coffer of Promise. - it's one of the longest quest lines in the entire game and is completely and unabashedly based on the Indiana Jones movies. One of the very first things you do is get blown clear of an explosion inside of a container. One of the last things you see is someone getting their face melted off by the energy released from an ancient, ornate chest.

Laughed from begining to end.

This was one of Warcraft's biggest weaknesses for me when I tried it a few years ago, the fact the quests are just designed to be amusing at best and filler at worst instead of interesting and coherent. I know with the number of quests they have to make they can't all be prizewinners, but I can't think of even one that really stood out as 'hey that was a good story' or 'that was an interesting character.'

Nice to see someone at least can get some value out of what there is though.

See, this is why you NEVER roll Alliance. They're all morons, except for the Draenei and maybe the Night Elves. Horde? They all know what they're supposed to be doing.

Moriarty70:
The quest text in WoW can sometimes be like a story told by and idiot, full of sound and fury *puts on sunglasses* signifying nothing.

WoW's but a walking shadow, a poor player that frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more.

OT: This is a great series. I used to play WoW as well, but I never looked into the actual quest text. These stories are a hilarious reminder of some good old times.

I was always confused when people told me that if I just read the quest descriptions then there is a really good plot to wow, even back in the day it was weird stuff that didnt make any sense, glad to see it still doesnt

nerd51075:

Moriarty70:
The quest text in WoW can sometimes be like a story told by and idiot, full of sound and fury *puts on sunglasses* signifying nothing.

WoW's but a walking shadow, a poor player that frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more.

There are more things in heaven and earth, nerd, than are dreamt of if your patch notes.

Lol, the part about the dirt pie quest at the end was very funny. WoW is full of stupid elements like that.

"'I would not expect a murder investigation to involve killing this many hobos,' Norman says."

Brilliant.

"Next Week: The end is coming!"

I had better be misinterpreting this...

Shamus do you ever just stop in a game and just say "thank you idiot who wrote this, Thank you. i have an article/comic/play-through joke now. Thank you for making my job a little easier."?

Some people seem to think the Pie quest is a parody of the old Westfall quests (which had you get disgusting animal parts to make various food items). It kind of makes sense- now they're explicitly sending you out to get 100% inedible things to make a food item that has no nutritional value, in the middle of a bustling pumpkin patch.

It has to be intentional.

Pooor Norman, come to the dark side :O!!!

Nile McMorrow:
I wonder what Norman's horde equvialent is doing right now?

Running around in the northern Barrens killing countless quilboars because they stole our Kodo/Food/Wife
Maybe that's just me...

Sorry Shamus but the Lotro one is still the best. :)

Farmer_Casper:
Pooor Norman, come to the dark side :O!!!

We have cookies. That we made out of the edible (and even tasty!) parts of plants and animals.

HankMan:
Looks like this Mage has became...
*puts on sunglasses*
Dis-enchanted
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I award you the thread. And now I'm going to go cry in the corner until my brain stops hurting.

These quest lines remind me of Far Cry 2. Your buddies will constantly ask you to wreck the last remaining infrastructure in the country for insanely petty reasons: "I got fired from a job at that water treatment plant. Blow it up for me!" Or maybe "Some guy at the village has been bad-mouthing me. I can't have that. Kill everyone in town."

Worgen:
I was always confused when people told me that if I just read the quest descriptions then there is a really good plot to wow, even back in the day it was weird stuff that didnt make any sense, glad to see it still doesnt

What they meant was 'if you read this, this, and this quest that you get to by doing a bunch of stupid stuff, there is some emotional attachment and coherence that gets put in there!'

. . .that or they meant 'there is a really good plot to warcraft.'

. . .or they just were never exposed to really good plots.

:/

 Pages 1 2 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here