Zero Punctuation: Fable 3

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Glad to see this one reviewed finally!

I'm wondering if we PC owners will get a chance to play Fable 3 this year.

Ugh... soooo much Yahtzee fan-wank ITT.

I think the ideology during your time as king was to give a feel for the pressures of ruling a kingdom. And the whole good/evil thing is explained as how the world percieves you rather than what you actually are, I just wish your character appearance didn't change accordingly.

That said, the non-Crawler-related quests are kinda slapdash. Fetch-quest missions are just retarded, and who the hell thought the Sanctuary was a good idea?

As for the explain-crawler-attack strategy - it's kinda farfetched that they'd believe that (Also, if Albion's anything like Europe, it's probably full of leftist nuts who'd want to try and negociate with it.)

Mark Heap is an amzing actor! /Doffs caps

Though his choice of 'Lark Rise to Candleford' confuses me, awful show.

he expressed everything i felt

I dont't own any xbox, so I couldn't care less if the fable games are good. But since they enabled another awesome zp rant I'm glad they exist, no matter if they wook pwetty :)

rayen020:
They really need to come up with moral choice systems that don't use the words GOOD and EVIL or any of the synonyms. Good/Bad, rightous/evil, paragon/renegade, sunshine-flowers/darkness-sins of the flesh. i don't think these cover all the bases... Wait let me restate; We know these do not cover all the bases. Moral choice meters and moral choices are a good thing to have but i think they need to more than binary. i think there are many way to implement a system i think game developers are being lazy.

example
Respect
|
|
Rightous----|----Evil
|
|
Fear

See? came up with that in less than five minutes. as a king or ruler or leader or whatever this should be your meter... in fact this should be your meter as any famous adventurer person with access to guns, swords, area of offense spells, biotics, or massed forces of destruction. And even more so you add a Z axis and/or an alpha axis (i think thats what a four dimensional axis is called, honestly idk). I don't know i'm no game designer but i feel that by simply adding another axis to a moral choice meter would make stuff more deep open and less idiotic.

Hey, that's pretty good, mind if I start a discussion based around your idea?

Haderos:

A Tasty Burger:
My name is Marty McFly and that was a great review.

A comment to a 5 minute review within 1 minute of it being posted?
Why not just write 1st?

Anyway, must be china, they don't care about human losses that much. ( ≖‿≖)

Marty McFly, Back To The Future, time travelling? jesus christ you must be like 13 or so

I disliked the new shop interface, seriously now shops only have about two or three items each with they show on a cushion? 0_0

Holy shit I give up. ZP desperately needs closed captions!

JoJoDeathunter:
I've been waiting for this since... November! Thought this day would never come, funny review as always by the way (one of the best for a while imo).

Well, considering the current situation in Australia I can see why Yahtzee holds a grudge against large bodies of water.

Timmons:
Awh man... thats EXACTLY how I felt while playing it. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS the reasons for you making your 'evil' decisions..

Well when there are normal everyday citizens that honestly would probably be not very well educated, they'll most likely think you're lying or not understand when you try to explain that there's this evil black demon/monster thingy that'll kill us unless I get 6 million in Gold.

Or they'll believe you since they might be superstitious, but since magic has pretty much disappeared from the world they might not believe it either.

Robot Overlord:

Haderos:

A Tasty Burger:
My name is Marty McFly and that was a great review.

A comment to a 5 minute review within 1 minute of it being posted?
Why not just write 1st?

Anyway, must be china, they don't care about human losses that much. ( ≖‿≖)

Marty McFly, Back To The Future, time travelling? jesus christ you must be like 13 or so

some references are clever, and some aren't, I would ask why marty mcfly got in the delorian, flew to the future, then came back, to post a comment when all of the above would've taken half an hour of his time.

The only sad thing about this episode is that now I have to wait another damn week for the next one. Good review man!

It's strange, he harps on Final Fantasy XIII for "horrible" choices like walking TOO LOUDLY or the battle system, yet for this game he doesn't mention the atrocious Sanctuary bullshit or how you pretty much have to use magic or guns to not make even combat into a total chore.

I enjoyed this game up until the final battle. I actually did what he said. Played the lute till I had enough money, bought a store, used the profits to buy another store, and so and and so on. I ended up owning every single building in the entire world. 13 million in the treasury, 7 million in my own pocket. I was set. Then the final boss came. I was expecting some epic battle, and instead I fight just another bandit. Yes, I know it wasn't an actual bandit, but he moved the same and used the same attacks. It was such a let down that I haven't picked the game up sense. From what I understand, Fable II's boss battle could be won by not doing anything. If true, Fable The Lost Chapters is the only game that apparently knows what a final battle should be like. Epic.

Yeah the sudden jump to the ending was just baffling. I was on board until that. Then I just got pissed off.

This review owned, I loved every moment of it of course. The fact You can become King and have to deal with this black goo monster is literally hilarious XD and being good/evil doesn't really seem to suit the game because your reasons of being bad can be good at the end.

Haha! I loved that one guy "Yay" when you stated "everyone praised me, but no one wants to admit that 1/3 of the population was wiped out." Awesome and sorry if I didn't quote it exactly right, but this deserves plenty of praise. Well done Yahtzee!

Doesn't sound like I'm missing much, then. Will probably pick it up if/when I can find it for 20 or less, as I found the previous Fable games okay for at least one playthrough when playing with a budget game mentality, & having forgotten every promise Molyneux made about it (I'm convinced he is gamings George Lucas)

Thank fuck you got that outta the way. I was hoping it would get the beating it so richly deserved and Peter Molyneux is a big fat liar.

Moral choice systems get a lot of flak, but this might honestly be the worst example I've ever seen. How is ignoring mortal danger for an easy present "good" and asking the people to work and sacrifice to avoid that danger "evil"? Are the people that brainless and short-sighted? I guess this game really does have monarchical mindset; the childlike petulance of the people is just another obstacle for the only person with power.

Why would anyone believe that a giant black blob was going to kill them?

"Hey, now that i'm King, i'm going to triple your taxes, destroy the ecosystem for profit and make everyone have 23 hour work shifts. Don't worry though, it's for the better! A giant black blob is going to destroy the world and kill all of you, so I need the money to prepare to fight it, I PROMISE. Oh, and i'm turning the only orphanage into a brothel. PEACE OUT!"

I'm sure ANYONE would believe that!

EDIT: Also, most of the evil decisions are permanent. You can't drain a lake so that you can mine the ground for resources and then just fill it back up. You can't just cut down a gigantic forest for lumber and then act as if nothing happened. Making children work in factories to survive would destroy their chance at education and throw the kingdom into economic repression and possibly a miniture dark age.

Edit again: I liked Fable 3. I'm not going to say that it was a great game, because it wasn't. But it was a good game, and I had fun playing it.

Edit Again AGAIN: I just remembered that my avatar is wearing Fable 3 King armor. :]

"Gold star Peter"

"But no..."

Oh I am glad you did a retrospective on this game, that was a hilarious review

johnzaku:
I wonder why he keeps playing the fables since he's hated them since peter first asked him to review te first one O_o

Perhaps because there's just about fuck-all on the market right now, as he said at the start :( (that's not meant as an aggressive sentence btw). I mean hell, he was reviewing iPhone games a few weeks back.

Game releases seem very shy until March or so. It's gonna be a good year, but most of the good stuff is in Q3/Q4 with several late Spring releases.

Honestly, I loved all of the Fable games.

But Fable 3 was just plain shit. I really have no other way of saying it.

I liked Dragon Age: Origions moral choice system. You don't get good or evil points on a bar, but your decisions change what your companions think of you. The game will never tell you that what you did was really evil or good, but your companions will tell you what THEY think from their own moral perspective.
Say that you find a soldier hiding from a fight you just had with his squad. He begs for his life. You choose to be "Evil"

"Coward. You call yourself a soldier! (Kill him.)"

Sten approves, because he comes from a strict military order, and any soldier who disobeys orders,(or any warrior who runs from battle) would be executed. Mercy is weakness.

Lelians dissapproves. How could you strike down an unarmed man as he begged for his life? He could have gone, started over. If he was that afraid of fighting, then surely that man would never have fought again.
Mercy is a virtue.

That's pretty much how it worked. You could make them like you a little more by giving them gifts, but it's mostly your decisions that affect their disposition towards you.

So it's like an expansion on Neverwinter Nights 2 then. But about five years late...

Azmael Silverlance:
I love it when Yahtzee makes some uber strong and valid points about the games he is reviewing.
Seriously how is getting money to LIVE an act of EVIL???? :O
IF the population knew what was gona happen they`d freaking throw their money at him....
Anyway this was one of my favorite episodes :)) seems to me yahtzee is going back on track :P

Has anyone ever noticed that LIVE is EVIL backwards and vice versa? Weird, huh?

Anyways, think of it like this yahtzee, now that you've reviewed fable 3, people will shut up about it now, won't they? If anything that's probably the only positive thing you'll get out of playing and reviewing the game.

This one was really fun to watch XD

Especially like the delivery of the last line, and that retarded part about the river!

I'm pretty much on the bandwagon of, "Fable...why play it?" and this excellent review only helps to serve that point. Shallow and annoying NPCs, everything else is mediocre.

Fronzel:
Moral choice systems get a lot of flak, but this might honestly be the worst example I've ever seen. How is ignoring mortal danger for an easy present "good" and asking the people to work and sacrifice to avoid that danger "evil"? Are the people that brainless and short-sighted? I guess this game really does have monarchical mindset; the childlike petulance of the people is just another obstacle for the only person with power.

Okay. You are an ass. YOU are short sighted. If your taxes were raised, your enviornment destroyed, and you were actually FORCED to work double shifts so that you could pay more taxes, with the excuse for it being "A terrible evil from the other side of the world is coming to kill you, I promise!" would you believe it, especially if no proof was presented? Would you destroy your own life on the slim chance that MAYBE a giant black blob was going to destroy your home and kill you? Who follows that kind of logic?

You should be able to balance the need for profit and still make your people happy. Saving everyone would fuck up their lives. They would be alive but they would live in misery.

This put a big smile on my face :) But seriously, I'm glad I didn't shell out 59.99 for this one (I would've, had it been on the PC). Hilarious as ever.

I know this has been brought up already, but why can't I go Julio-Claudian on Reaver's ass (and by that I mean kill him and seize his assets)...
People keep raving about how Fable is all about choice... but when I actually think I'll have the chance to make a choice I've wanted to make since the end of the 2nd game (killing Reaver), it's sadly not there... It's not like it'd even be that evil of an act... I mean, you watch him kill people in cold blood...

also

Why did the world jump 150 game days ahead? Some warning would have been nice... you know... a "pushing this button causes Armageddon"

but yeah, agreed with everything he said

Racecarlock:

Azmael Silverlance:
I love it when Yahtzee makes some uber strong and valid points about the games he is reviewing.
Seriously how is getting money to LIVE an act of EVIL???? :O
IF the population knew what was gona happen they`d freaking throw their money at him....
Anyway this was one of my favorite episodes :)) seems to me yahtzee is going back on track :P

Has anyone ever noticed that LIVE is EVIL backwards and vice versa? Weird, huh?

Anyways, think of it like this yahtzee, now that you've reviewed fable 3, people will shut up about it now, won't they? If anything that's probably the only positive thing you'll get out of playing and reviewing the game.

If he has trouble looking for other games to review, he could review Half Life 2. (He's already reviewed Silent Hill 2. Why not Half Life?)

I got fucked by that 150 day thing too! I had to play the ENTIRE GAME OVER to do it right.

Seriously!? A fucking warning would have fixed it all

Glad to see I'm not the only one wondering why people play Fable:D

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