So stick with Dark Corners of the Earth?
Oo, for all space fans..
Space Marine. ^ ^
With any luck twelve hours of extremely violent and bloody repetitive sawing, shooting and punching with no variation whatsoever.
It seems like all of these complaints were just nitpicking for the sake of nitpicking. Necromorphs don't care if they can't play hide and seek at your level, hating monsters for using vents is like saying you hate toast for using the toaster, and I suppose I can forgive you for being so introverted that you don't realize how many children can actually populate a city. I grew up in a town of 7000 and you know how many children went to my school? Over 600. People who get laid tend to have children, keep that in mind the next time you want to complain about your wanker's cramp.
Really I'm just nitpicking about the nitpicking. You could have had a more convincing arguement against the game if you mentioned the Umbrella-esque government conspiracy, the fact that you don't meet an interesting support character until half-way through the game, and your dead girlfriend (despite being DEAD and a major part for Isaac's backstory and motivation in the first game) being reduced to a kind of mustache-twirling villian who is able to break the flow of the game by speaking up every fifteen minutes with a raspy voice like two pieces of cardboard rubbing against one another to tell you what a hopeless nobody you are like she's fucking SHODAN under a red-tinted strobe light.
And this stupid Captcha crap wants me to write out a word in friggin' Greek.
After playing through DS1 and 2, I have to say he's right, but the games are still fun.
I do say that the eyeball poking sequence in this game was about as cringe worthy as the finger slicing one in Heavy Rain.