Zero Punctuation: MindJack

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I know my comment may get lost, and believe me, I am NOT defending this game...it sucks.

This is the twelfth time someone has called this a "Square-Enix" game. It's a feelplus game, okay? The guys who did the port for No More Heroes: Heroes' Paradise. Square Enix is the publisher, and while having some sort of (read: little to no) input, they did NOT develop the game.

Second, the voice acting thing. Aside from the "different planes of existence" thing, that IS how most voice acting is done. One person in a booth, recording their lines, then the next actor comes in the booth when the first actor is done. Repeat until lunch break, then repeat until you go home. Usually, voice recording will take more than a few days, and some actors will be done before it ends.

Finally, I know this sounds really stupid, and it is just evidence of bad game design...but you aren't actually meant to "fight" the giant robot. It will stand there, doing nothing, until you fight the massive squadron of enemy mooks behind you. It's an endurance test, not an actual boss fight. Once you kill all those enemies, the robot finally dies and you can advance. It's actually a little embarrassing that you ran out of ideas so fast. I would have been confused at that part, sure, but at least I wouldn't give up after only one tactic.

OniYouji:
... Second, the voice acting thing. Aside from the "different planes of existence" thing, that IS how most voice acting is done. One person in a booth, recording their lines, then the next actor comes in the booth when the first actor is done. Repeat until lunch break, then repeat until you go home...

Actually that jumped out at me too. The reason voice acting in video games tends to be shit most of the time is more due to a lack of direction and input from the writers/developers, so the actors just have to take a rough stab at it without really comprehending the full context of the scene. In videogames and animation its easier and cheaper to deal with one actor at a time and that's how it usually works.

Haha, can't see the killing for my gun! Classic! :)

Sounds like a lame ripoff of Psi-Ops.

Given how panned this was, I'm surprised Yahtzee even bothered reviewing it. But, I guess it's going to be a few slow weeks. Is anything even coming out between now and Duke Nukem Forever? Seriously.

On the upside i'm sure we can expect a Bulletstorm review in a few weeks.

I think I remember Angry Joe mentioning that stupid giant robot boss. As I recall he said something about not having to beat it in order to finish that level, so you gave up because you couldn't see past a giant red herring the game was waving in your face. And I do not blame you for that.

Kurt Horsting:
And this was picked instead of Marvel vs Capcom 3? I feel robbed.

I know that MvC3 wouldn't be his thing at all (with mvc3 being a competitive multiplayer game with almost no story, and having Nolan North voice work for the title) but it would be fun to see him rip into it.

Imho, Mvc3 is the most pure fun game made this year. It is extremely silly and colorful, everything in the game is over the top, the game mechanics are inclusive without sacrificing depth, and has one of the most diverse casts in fighting game history. Also, a majority of the cast on the Capcom side he has done reviews for, so it would be nice to see what he thinks of their translation into a fighting game (Spencer, Ameterasu, Chris, Wesker, Dante, Trish, etc) . Same goes for Spider-man how his web swinging mechanics work in a 2d fighter or what he thinks. I'm just saying it would be interesting.

Instead, this week's review goes to a game no one heard or cared about. And turns out this unknown title is a piece of shit. It was fun to watch, but the review felt like a waste of time. At least I won't make the mistake of buying a shitty 3rd person shooter that I had no intention of playing anyway.

Didn't Yahtzee say previously he's not going to bother reviewing fighting games? They're pretty one-dimensional, not really a lot there to pick at.

I can't imagine why MvC3 would be an exception.

Hahaha this is his best video for a long time!

Well done yahtzee! I will stay clear of this shit sandwhich!

-Joe

"This game is so generic blah blah uncharted 2 blah"

"they have some original game mechanic but it's shit this is why you shouldn't try to be original"

does he even know what hes saying anymore?

..Well, even with a bad game you can learn from it (Extra Credits taught me that). But thanks to Yahtzee's review no sarcasm, I actually noticed that the way he described the game made an impact on me: it was beyond bad and common sense could surpass this game if you put any effort into it from the start.

Like, if you actually feel like you need no guns to make the game fair to the NPCs that are trying to kill you- something is terribly wrong right there. And I literally despise the gun's ammo number being in the way, that happened to me in a few games and always got me killed because it was right in my face.

Great review Yahtzee, most people know when you like a game or dislike.. but clearly you hated this game more then you've ever before. This is the first time I heard you say "Don't buy this game!" to any game.. it must of been horrible. No offense to anyone, but I am a big fan of this series and 95% of what Yahtzee says about games is true so I literally take his words to heart. Glad I didn't buy this game to be honest.. Mm

I felt he was a little bit unclear. He wants us to play it??

Who cares if Yahtzee recommends a game or not? Are people that obsessed with his opinions that they NEED to know if he likes or hates a game? Frankly, I've played most games that Yahtzee hated/liked just because I wanted to see if I have a different experience. Guess what? I often do. Yes, there are some similarities, (Fallout 3 good, Jericho bad) but for instance: I didn't much like Shadow of the Collosus. Not that my opinion means absolutely anything, but he should make every review as absolutely ambiguous as possible, just to fuck with the people who apparently send him messages like "DO YOU LIKE DEAD SPACE? I NEED TO KNOW BECAUSE MY LIFE HAS NO MEANING! I HAVE NO OPINIONS ON MY OWN, I NEED SOMEONE ELSE TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"

Square enix, while occasionally having some great titles- they are few are far inbetween, when I saw the trailer to this I thought it looked bad even compared to some of there worst games. Luckily, when I did a preview for it on youtube, the benefit is I didn't actually ever have to play the game. Now that everything I thought it would be is confirmed, I see no reason to give it a shot.

So let me see if I understand this. In multiplayer you "hack" into another player's single player game and take control of one of the enemy mooks? Ok who's brainy idea was that and why do they still have a job (assuming they still do).

Mcface:
"This game is so generic blah blah uncharted 2 blah"

"they have some original game mechanic but it's shit this is why you shouldn't try to be original"

does he even know what hes saying anymore?

The key part is "but it's shit". Originality doesn't make up for shit. "You shouldn't try to be original" doesn't follow from that, and isn't what he said.

Haha, I knew it was gonna be horrible when I saw the Unskipple on it's trailer.

I have to say, the multiplayer does sound kind of interesting, a bit like Demon's Souls. The thing was that in Demon's Souls, you could only get invaded while in body form, and even then it wasn't like ALL the time, you were notified, and they had to come find you.

Man, I want my PS3 back, I miss Demon's Souls.

Harbinger_:
The game does sound bad but the multiplayer option to 'hack' into someone's single player game and screw with them does sound intriguing. Maybe a few tweaks would make it better?

YOUR AVATAR PIC IS EPIC WIN. WoT for life. That is all.

That was the funniest damn review since far cry 2.. WAAHEEEY!

by the way my captcha was 'eetedi makers' and I entered 'Jawas'. How could that possibly be wrong!?

Actually, Yahtzee's most confusing reviews aren't the ones that pick out the bad of a good game, rather the good of a bad game. In particular Dark Void, I mean, he says it's the most disappointing game he's ever played, but he also used the term, "fucking hell, when did this become awesome?"

So is that negative or positive? Not a recontamination of course, but bad game with great bits - especially when the series is meant to showcase what little gold there in a giant pile of shit that is the industry - sounds more like a thumbs up than a thumbs down.

Just sayin'.

Please people, stop saying this game was made by Sqaure Enix! It was not ._. They only published it, but otherwise had nothing to do with the game.
Saying they made this would be like saying EA made Dragon Age when we all know Bioware made it >>

..this has annoyed me just a bit..

Mindjack is the worst Matrix game since that hideouse mutant known at Path of Neo.

Wait a minute, people have trouble telling whether or not Yahtzee likes a game? It has always been crystal clear to me.

Just be thankful that the license to GITS didn't fall into the developers hands when they made this. Then again I've never played any GITS game(s?).

I just have to mention that possessing an enemy and starting a fight/jumping off a cliff was my favorite way to kill in Second Sight.

yabbos is now my new favorite word.

Cheers Yahtzee

This was another good review, but you had no hope of topping Angry Joe's review of this game. I have never seen anyone so eloquently and viciously tear a game apart like he did with Mindjack.

I am curious (and don't mind if someone knows and wants to tell me) if Yahtzees' theory of Jim being controlled by a puppet master entity is true. That sounds like a unique idea. Prop points to the devs IF that is the case. Also being able to jack into someone elses game sounds neat. Two (or just one) prop points for THAT idea!

No more prop points past this line. :\

I remember seeing a trailer for this game. I raised a brow and thought, "this looks awful." I promptly forgot about it until this review.

i wanna get this game cause he said multiplayer you can join other people's singleplayer campain
as the ai i wanna grief so many people.

I enjoyed this review. Shit game is shit.

Android2137:
Actually, isn't that how voice acting is done much of the time? You know, in different rooms on different days and what not? It can be hard to sync schedules and when you're on a deadline, you take every opportunity you can get.

Yes, usually it's done one actor at a time in a sound-proof booth. One of the few times I remember where they had several actors recording at once was the Batman animated series. At best an actor might have video playing to sync something up, but that's it. A lot of bad voice-acting is due to bad voice directors and such

Anyway, good review, though I find Yahtzee's reviews for the moment haven't been as hilarious.

This video doesn't get less funny no matter how many times I watch it.

I want to play this just to see how bad it actually is.

It's not that I think that combining single and multi-player is inheriently unworkable but having other people burst into your single player game seems like the worst way to go about it. Did no one pick that it would be silly in the design phase?

I would like to play "devil's advocate" for a minute here, and raise a few good points about Mindjack (hear me out on this). I also need to clarify that I have never played the game, I'm going solely on the demo videos and brief summaries.

1) At least it's not brown. It's true, gray is not brown. It's still monotonous and boring though.

2) It has a unique premise. I agree that some ideas are inherently shit, but sometimes as an artist you have to do something original simply to be original... just don't expect people to pay money for originality alone.

3) The concept is beautifully sci-fi. Its like that awful movie "Gamer", a game about characters being controlled by an unseen force. And it's literally true: the player, the one with the controller, yes you! (Did I just spoil the big reveal? YOU are the "villain" the in-game characters have been fighting against all along?) Clever doesn't make it good though. Maybe the AI was intentionally bad to give the villainous "player" a sense of superiority over the "mindless drones" you are controlling. As Yahtzee said in a previous review,

Yahtzee:
"...any game designer who sacrifices fun to make an artistic statement is obviously stuck so far up his own ass that he's in danger of choking on his own head."

That being said: screw Mindjack. It is bad. Bad AI in a game that needed realistic character behavior, bad visuals in a game that needed to look lifelike but just a little off to make the player wonder wtf was going on, bad controls which undermine both the sci-fi novelty of all-powerful control and any entertainment value the shooting aspects might have had, crazy plot that could only have worked in a sci-fi novel (though that wouldn't have worked either because you're no longer literally controlling the characters) and was presented poorly anyway so what might have been clever and introspective no longer matters, etc., etc., we all watched the review...

Yahtzee reviews a SUCKY game and surprise, surprise... It SUCKS!
Thanks Yahtzee... I really dodged a bullet!

What happened to you man?!

You used to love this job.

So, just to be clear... Are you saying that you like the game or not? I'm having a hard time telling ;) ;)

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