Critical Miss: The Board

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The Board

Submitting a game to the ESRB is like going to court and realizing the judge is Barney the Dinosaur.

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I don't know if I can cope with all the severe language in this comic. I think it needs to be censored more. My poor, sensitive ears just couldn't take it.

Really awesome, it's exactly like that, I always laugh when I read them. And may I notice the art improvement, too?

Hah, that is most excellent. I hope those noble folks do their best to prevent meanies getting cursies to my ears.

Awesome, how come they don't do the same for movies

Hm. I haven't read many ESRB writeups, but the one on Dante's inferno seemed rather maturely written if my memory serves me right.

heyheysg:
Awesome, how come they don't do the same for movies

Oh, they do. The MPAA just doesn't draw as much flak because movies can be "mature" while games still have to be "for kids" in the eyes of the retirement-home gods of public opinion.

Finally, we are rid of that over-redundant and boring episode of Steam.

Finally some LULZ!

All the cursing the today's comic has permanently scarred my fragile psyche and I will now proceed to commit unspeakable acts of violence to innocent people. Good thing you didn't show any nudity as well, because in that case the aforementioned unspeakable acts of violence would be complemented by unspeakable acts of sexual molestation, likely simultaneously... [/sarcasm]

BAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Oh man, I think this one was my favourite comic of yours to date. Nice job!

Straying Bullet:
Finally, we are rid of that over-redundant and boring episode of Steam.

Finally some LULZ!

Here here!

Good comic today. I like the frame asking how bad are the boo boos, and the girl has the loopy sippy straw. Her face is priceless.

Personally, I think the whole concept of "swear words" is just ridiculous. I mean, the only reason these words are considered "more offensive" then others is because WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SAY THEM. It's a paradox. Also, no one should ever say "F you!" Clearly if you aren't willing to swear, you don't have any strong feelings on the matter, and you probably didn't need to say anything in the first place.

What? Oh, right. Uh...Good comic. Actually, to honest, one of the few I've actually laughed at, so....One of the best, I suppose.

Personally I always felt that the ESRB was far to... childlike in their reviews and rating of movies and video games. This just confirms every speculation I had. I also felt an extreme amount of pity when I saw them and I don't know why.

Irridium:
I don't know if I can cope with all the severe language in this comic. I think it needs to be censored more. My poor, sensitive ears just couldn't take it.

If it was so bad your ears couldnt take more I guess its pretty bad.

OT:

ESRB sucks.

Bulletstorm was the most fun I've had in a shooter since DN3D.

This comic is very hit and miss for me, but I'm glad to say that this one made me laugh a lot. Good job

Grey Carter:
Critical Miss: The Board

Submitting a game to the ESRB is like going to court and realizing the judge is Barney the Dinosaur.

Read Full Article

Was that Lance or Chad on the whiteboard?

Reading this made me think of Gamespot.....wonder why :P

We try to be considered as mature and responsible community and then somebody says "Cover your ears kiddies, daddy's gonna drop some F-bombs" provoking laughter from anyone ages 10+. Games like Bulletstorm are good example cause they tend to overuse curses to the point where it can be considered mocking or self-parody, while all the time trying to appear ironic. It ends up being boring and pathetic, like something they did to squeeze out a few extra bucks from impressionable 12 year olds. But if there's anything worse than that it's those idiots working at ESRB. Somebody should teach them the concept of reverse psychology.

EDIT: For good uses of insults and curses see "insult sword fighting" or "litany of curses".

*Gasp* You said a bad word! I'm telling!

Yay for the end of the not-funny Steam arc. I'll miss it, but let's get back to the jokes.

Dick joke factory...10 pts.

That looks like Pintsize form Questionable Content on the whiteboard.

tzimize:

Irridium:
I don't know if I can cope with all the severe language in this comic. I think it needs to be censored more. My poor, sensitive ears just couldn't take it.

If it was so bad your ears couldnt take more I guess its pretty bad.

OT:

ESRB sucks.

Bulletstorm was the most fun I've had in a shooter since DN3D.

Yes. I read with my ears. Doesn't everybody?

Looks like Erin looks girly again.

I've never actually read any of the ESRB's write ups, but I for one am glad for the ESRB because with them around whenever someone whines about games corrupting our children we can just point to the ESRB and say "Shut UP!" ...or rather we could.

I sometimes write it as f*** and stuff... and I want one of those straws...

Chances are my mental age is rather childish. I'm actually sitting cross-legged on a lecture chair as I type this.

"Help! I'm stuck in a dick-joke factory!", the lost Zappa album. How the Bulletstorm devs got a hold of it is beyond me.

Hilarious, the art's looking very stylish as well! :D

P.S. Unicorn cup with a twisty straw!

This is a first-person shooter in which players assume the role of a space pirate who must escape a planet populated by mutant cannibals. Players use futuristic machine guns, shotguns, magnum revolvers, assault rifles, and chain guns to perform over-the-top kills that dismember and decapitate foes. Injured enemies emit large sprays of blood that stain the ground and surrounding walls. Specialty kills (i.e., Skillshots) represent the most intense instances of violence: enemies can be dismembered with explosives; impaled on spikes; and drilled into walls, resulting in body parts breaking into pieces. During the course of the game, players can consume alcohol and kill enemies in order to receive an Intoxicated Skillshot; the screen turns blurry during these sequences. The dialogue contains numerous jokes and comments that reference sexual acts, venereal diseases, and having sex with one's mother (e.g., 'Guess I know where the ol' gal got that limp.'). The names of some Skillshots are infused with sexual innuendo (e.g., Gag Reflex, Rear Entry, Drilldo, Mile High Club); one Skillshot (i.e., Fire in the Hole) allows players to shoot at enemies' exposed buttocks. Language such as 'f**k,' 'sh*t,' 'p*ssy,' and 'c*ck' can be heard in dialogue.

Is anyone arguing that Bulletstorm doesn't have all this? "Childish" language aside, I think it's a fair measurement of the mature content of the game.

88chaz88:

This is a first-person shooter in which players assume the role of a space pirate who must escape a planet populated by mutant cannibals. Players use futuristic machine guns, shotguns, magnum revolvers, assault rifles, and chain guns to perform over-the-top kills that dismember and decapitate foes. Injured enemies emit large sprays of blood that stain the ground and surrounding walls. Specialty kills (i.e., Skillshots) represent the most intense instances of violence: enemies can be dismembered with explosives; impaled on spikes; and drilled into walls, resulting in body parts breaking into pieces. During the course of the game, players can consume alcohol and kill enemies in order to receive an Intoxicated Skillshot; the screen turns blurry during these sequences. The dialogue contains numerous jokes and comments that reference sexual acts, venereal diseases, and having sex with one's mother (e.g., 'Guess I know where the ol' gal got that limp.'). The names of some Skillshots are infused with sexual innuendo (e.g., Gag Reflex, Rear Entry, Drilldo, Mile High Club); one Skillshot (i.e., Fire in the Hole) allows players to shoot at enemies' exposed buttocks. Language such as 'f**k,' 'sh*t,' 'p*ssy,' and 'c*ck' can be heard in dialogue.

Is anyone arguing that Bulletstorm doesn't have all this? "Childish" language aside, I think it's a fair measurement of the mature content of the game.

I gotta admit, I kinda missed this one myself. I could have sworn the ESRB write-ups were mainly geared towards those mothers who know nothing about game ratings. Hence the reason they seem so childish to us.

88chaz88:

This is a first-person shooter in which players assume the role of a space pirate who must escape a planet populated by mutant cannibals. Players use futuristic machine guns, shotguns, magnum revolvers, assault rifles, and chain guns to perform over-the-top kills that dismember and decapitate foes. Injured enemies emit large sprays of blood that stain the ground and surrounding walls. Specialty kills (i.e., Skillshots) represent the most intense instances of violence: enemies can be dismembered with explosives; impaled on spikes; and drilled into walls, resulting in body parts breaking into pieces. During the course of the game, players can consume alcohol and kill enemies in order to receive an Intoxicated Skillshot; the screen turns blurry during these sequences. The dialogue contains numerous jokes and comments that reference sexual acts, venereal diseases, and having sex with one's mother (e.g., 'Guess I know where the ol' gal got that limp.'). The names of some Skillshots are infused with sexual innuendo (e.g., Gag Reflex, Rear Entry, Drilldo, Mile High Club); one Skillshot (i.e., Fire in the Hole) allows players to shoot at enemies' exposed buttocks. Language such as 'f**k,' 'sh*t,' 'p*ssy,' and 'c*ck' can be heard in dialogue.

Is anyone arguing that Bulletstorm doesn't have all this? "Childish" language aside, I think it's a fair measurement of the mature content of the game.

Wherever that quote came from they forgot dicktits.

OT: Read that then thought of the health and safety idiots who wont let us have public custard pie fights anymore...

Oooooooooo, you talked about pee-pees...

Very nice, I didn't realize the ERSB was so childish at times. It would be better if they figured out the context of such "mature" content. Bulletstorm does seem to use "mature" content like a teenager though.

Onyx Oblivion:
Yay for the end of the not-funny Steam arc. I'll miss it, but let's get back to the jokes.

Dick joke factory...10 pts.

*Head shot someone while they are yelling* - GAG REFLEX 500 points
Actually that's a decent idea...

OT: I actually enjoyed the comic... I now miss silly straws...

I guess one of the things you need to have done to get a job with ESRB is to ride the, as it's been called, Shortbus?

The ESRB "boss" reminds me of Butters :3

Loved it. Best in a little while imo

Should do a comic on the upcoming gargantuan, devastating, epic, universe bending battle between the titans MW3 and Battlefield 3 that will wipe any smaller titles being released around the same time out of existence XD

Fantastic comic. Well done. :D

Irridium:
I don't know if I can cope with all the severe language in this comic. I think it needs to be censored more. My poor, sensitive ears just couldn't take it.

Preach, brother.
On a different note, it's nice to see the jokes returning.

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