Zero Punctuation: Bulletstorm

 Pages 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 NEXT
 

Bulletstorm

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Bulletstorm, the combined effort from the two developers who brought us Painkiller and Gears of War.

Watch Video

I was hoping he'd praise, but ya can't win every time. I still had fun with it. Admittedly I wish they just went into full-blown parody mode instead of trying to act serious; did I mention that this was written by a comic book writer?

Entertaining review, but I believe Bulletstorm is not supposed to be thought about very hard.

Hmm quite an interesting show. I laughed, i remembered the past, i don't think i cried though. Overall a good review. I'd played the demo and liked it so i have no change of opinions here unless you count going from liking to really wanting a change of opinion.

I guess the gun skin that has flaming tits wasn't enough to save this game. Oh well I guess that's why the only shooters I play is Bioshock one and two. Ok Half life 2 and Portal also.

I'm surprised he didn't mention that they answered his wish to have a gun that had tits on fire on it. Sure, it was just a painting on a gun, but it was a nice little call out to his Painkiller review.

Forget the angst and homo erotic undertones.

LET's GO KILL SOMETHING!

I hold no special affinity for the "OLD DAYS" of shooter history. I'm more a fan of the newer design philosophies of today's shooters.

That said, I can't really stand Bulletstorm. And sadly I could not even figure out why. It just had no soul. It felt packaged and synthetic.

So I therefore dub it "BulletFAIL" and move on to playing Fight Night and Dragon Age 2.

HankMan:
Forget the angst and homo erotic undertones.

Lets go kill something!

Pfffft I played Bullet Storm 12 years ago....

WHEN IT WAS CALLED WILD 9

image

A gun w/ flaming tits all for not.

Crimson_Dragoon:
I'm surprised he didn't mention that they answered his wish to have a gun that had tits on fire on it. Sure, it was just a painting on a gun, but it was a nice little call out to his Painkiller review.

probably because to see it you have to play the multiplayer. we all know his opinion on that, but in bulletstorm its almost justified. i can't play it without three friends cause jumping into a random game with random people who don't have mics is as fun as putting my eyeball under a drill press. there is a level of fun to it, but it needs to be well coordinated

Ohh seems the flameing tits gu wasnt enouth to butter Yahtzee up.

i also lost things to a starship trooper.... but i dont want to talk about it.

Yahtzee is by far the best reviewer on the web. I also agree with what was said about Bullet Storm. It was alright, not amazing.

I wonder how much of Yahtzee's love for bullet-painting games comes from the fact that he grew up around them, compared to the breed of gamer that was introduced to shooters around the Halo era. I'd be interested to see how the tastes of people from the same general gaming era compare.

I still find it hard to believe that the same company that brought us the Godlike lightning-fast Unreal Tournament also brought us Gears of War.

Does bulletstorm at least have bots in multiplayer? Does it at least do that!?

Now I think about it I don't remember ANYONE complaining about unrealism in shooters in the 90s.

God I miss the 90s....

I wish I could say I'm surprised, but this really does sound like the bastard child of People Can Fly (who basically say "here are many mans, blow them up how you see fit") and Epic Games (who have founded the nation of ChestHighWallistan). These are two core philosophies that don't combine well normally, and it looks like Bulletstorm is not the magical, mystical exception to the rule.

Still, I'm surprised there wasn't any sort of comment on the gun with flaming tits on it.

Yahtzee Croshaw:
Snip

The lack of people in on the joke is larger then you think.

Remember "Duty Calls?" One of the jokes aimed at modern shooters was your main character could only jump an inch above the ground.

They followed this up by taking away any ability to jump in Bulletstorm.

Well, at least Serious Sam 3 is coming out this summer.

Wait just one second... Bulletstorm has single player?

I can now never look at a box of "Grape Nuts" cereal again without bursting into complete laughter.

My favorite line in there would have to be, "Now, drop the net, hit him with sticks!" I have to disagree with his review of the gameplay though. Maybe I'm just better than him, but even on hard I spent very little time hiding behind walls. As long as they died before I did I was fine. And kicking an exlpoding bouncy ball was a blast (pun not intended).

Dear Escapist,

Your fill-the-screen ad has once again flubbed up my ability to actually watch the video, as it tries to effectively play two of the same video at once and out of synch. Please advertise some other way.

Wolfram01:
Wait just one second... Bulletstorm has single player?

What? You mean you only played the awfully boring MP? You sad, sad person...

Smeagol150:
Entertaining review, but I believe Bulletstorm is not supposed to be thought about very hard.

But the story does quite the opposite.
Perfect review that actually makes constructive criticism about the game and is quite funny too.
The above line is what bulletstorm should have been.

Yeah, the game got bogged down with setpieces and story at times during the campaign when you're just itching to try out that new drill launcher you just bought. The multiplayer mode takes that nonsense away and is all about killing dudes in high scoring ways but the lack of communication (sure, you COULD get a headset but nobody does!) and the terrible netcode (Unreal Engine 3 does its best by making it nearly impossible to hit anything when the lag kicks in) take their toll on it.

I never felt a need to stick to cover though (I think I played on Hard, even), you won't die unless every motherfucker in the whole place gets to take pot shots at you and even then you'll last quite a while. Since the slide is about on par with Vanquish's rocket slide it's easy to run into cover, wait for the red pulsing to go away (health seems to go from zero to full instantly once it starts healing) and get back to making pricked shishkebabs. In MP it's even less problematic because even if you manage to die any other player can revive you instantly with a boot to the head.

Also if you think lining up multiple enemies in the campaign is hard you haven't seen multiplayer where even if you get them lined up some fuckwit on the other end of the map will leash one of them away.

Yathzee I blame Halo. Stupid regen health.

Now i must go and buy some cream-eggs.

Aiddon:
I was hoping he'd praise, but ya can't win every time. I still had fun with it. Admittedly I wish they just went into full-blown parody mode instead of trying to act serious; did I mention that this was written by a comic book writer?

This is as close to praise as he ever gets. This review perfectly sums up what I think of the game which is definitely a 1st.

archvile93:
My favorite line in there would have to be, "Now, drop the net, hit him with sticks!" I have to disagree with his review of the gameplay though. Maybe I'm just better than him, but even on hard I spent very little time hiding behind walls. As long as they died before I did I was fine.

I played it on easy because I'm a pansy and being able to run around without worrying whether or not I'll die certainly made the game more fun.

Yahtzee my man, did Bulletstorm cause you to rape people after you played it? I heard that was a possible side-effect.

That was absolutely hilarious :-D. I loved the part about Epic taking over PCF.

Yahtzee you hipster

I agree with yahzee on this one, I miss the shooters of yesterday. Bullettorm is a step in the right direction thought.

Brutally honest as usual. I would never get tired of the dialogue though, no matter how immature it got

Its called "kill with skill", and a high skill requirement is guaranteed to make Yahtzee very unhappy.

Wasn't the Brisbane Mana bar publicising this like there was no tomorrow" (the game, I mean)

Bha, he needs to do Magicka, and fast.

 Pages 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here