Zero Punctuation: Bulletstorm

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cke:

Wolfram01:
Wait just one second... Bulletstorm has single player?

What? You mean you only played the awfully boring MP? You sad, sad person...

Huh? Why would I play Bulletstorm?* You play Bulletstorm? You sad, sad person...

*sarcasm.

But seriously I've never played it and never care to.

This game seems like it's a missing link between Doomlike and CODlike shooters. I totally agree with some rather strange gameplay merging that just didn't really click right in this game. For example the basic/primary gun that's the only thing you have for the first 30-60 minutes doesn't really offer that much variety in killing and not only that but the thing seems too imprecise to actually do some stuff without luck, for example shooting an enemy in his neck. Not only that, but most of the time enemies attack in bulk or can shoot you from far away, but in that case you'll most likely die unless you use your weapons in most effective way possible.

Plus - damn you UDK, that makes all games look the same even though it's a powerfull modern engine!

Konata Star:
Yahtzee is by far the best reviewer on the web. I also agree with what was said about Bullet Storm. It was alright, not amazing.

Yeah, I think it was the FOX News hype that got me all excited

Didn't think this game would fail but at the same time the developer trolling in search of publicity made me think they were over compensating for something.

I may check this out when its in the 40 dollar range.

Fine fine but Yahtzee, you really should stop praising Painkiller and finally acknowledge that the game that resurrected rampage massacre shooters was Serious Sam, which is also like gazillion times better than that boring crappy copycat Pain in the ass.

CrazyCapnMorgan:
I can now never look at a box of "Grape Nuts" cereal again without bursting into complete laughter.

Indeed and it's even better considering I love that Cereal

I expected him to at least mention the guns which has tits and is on fire. I mean, they put it in only for him.

What a nice review

Are those cadbury eggs in the last screenshot?

... I do love cadbury eggs...

Sweet chocolaty, cream-filled goodness.

Madara XIII:

HankMan:
Forget the angst and homo erotic undertones.

Lets go kill something!

Pfffft I played Bullet Storm 12 years ago....

WHEN IT WAS CALLED WILD 9

image

Did you actually play Wild 9? The whole "torture" thing they used as the marketing gimmick didn't really show up in the game.

Don Reba:
Its called "kill with skill", and a high skill requirement is guaranteed to make Yahtzee very unhappy.

You're taking the marketing tag-line as a genuine indication of the game's nature? Bad idea (see above).

He was surprisingly kind in this review... It looks like he's hating more on what the FPS genre has become, rather than the game itself Besides a couple design flaws, I'd say he liked this game a lot more than others

Doomguy isn't technically a space marine... He is LITERALLY a space marine. He is an actual marine, not some game-world equivalent of the marines, they are actually just called marines. And they send him to an assignment on Mars as a punishment (or just because they need more marines in Doom 3), thus making him a space marine. Doomguy is actually the only true example of a space marine in a game that I'm aware of; it's all the other characters that are only technically space marines.

Anyway, yeah. I know I never said any of that stuff back when I was playing Doom. Hell, I still don't say any of that stuff when I play Doom. As for Bulletstorm, I died in the demo because I didn't stay in cover enough. I guess it was my bad for thinking it was more of a Doom type of shooter rather than a Gears/Uncharted/Killzone/huge list of games that want you to take teh coverz here type of shooter. I still want to try it again on PC though, because I kept feeling I'd have better luck getting good skill shots with a mouse. I was doing quite shit with a controller. Yeah I was still killing dudes, but I wasn't getting any of the fun combos.

So from what I'm taking into the first thirty seconds (or so) of this review is that Epic Games is Master, People Can Fly is Servant?

Bulletstorm looks really fun, IMO. I'll still probably pick it up, like after it goes down a bit in price.

The days of run and gun were great.

This review makes me wonder if Yhatzee ever figured out the run button.
Also he played on the 360, I played bulletstorm on the PC and I didn't have any trouble with it.
Also I can't get the "Splatter Airborne Enemies against a surface with the shotgun" skill for some reason, maybe it is bugged or something?

"Land Speed Record"

I'm trying to get over the fact that there's a somewhat obscure musical reference on this site that I actually get for once. Woooooot for 80s punk!

i called it! i knew he was going to rip Bulletstorm a new one!

well, at least this is better than call of duty :P

Wolfram01:
Wait just one second... Bulletstorm has single player?

All it has is single player. The multiplayer component doesn't even come close to the main campaign.

Story? Single mode? I'm confused...
I really hoped this was gonna be Magicka, any chance he'll do it next week?:<

Could not possibly agree more with this review.

ZZoMBiE13:
I hold no special affinity for the "OLD DAYS" of shooter history. I'm more a fan of the newer design philosophies of today's shooters.

Not sure why we can't have both audiences catered for. They're totally different types of games. Painkiller has more in common with Tyrian than it does with Bulletstorm.

Hm, the review is nearly as positive as the one from JC2 from times to times. I guess it is above average fun, but not mindblowingly game of the year fun.

Critterbot:
Bha, he needs to do Magicka, and fast.

That avatar looks familiar...Knight? Is that you?

Anyways...I wonder how the game's creators will react to this review, especially after the flaming tits skin they gave in his honor?

Meh didnt metion the Tits on fire.

How weird that they mashed up the gameplay like that. If they were going for the self-aware balls-to-the-wall type manly game, why didn't they go the whole 9 yards with it?

Maybe Shooters and the gamers that play them have gotten so use to the style present in GOW, Reach and Black Ops that doing anything else seems like a step backwards now?

That's the thing. In the old days developers made sure the game was fun first and then worried about whether or not any of it made any sense later. That's how we got with a game about a about a yellow ball that eats dots and another about a fowl mouthed orange thing on a pyramid.
So when developing Doom I'm pretty sure the folks at ID Software weren't overly concerned about how realistic it was for one lone space marine to take on the entire legions of hell single-handed and carry and entire armory's worth of munitions on his person. All that mattered was that it was fucking fun!

A nod in Killzone 3 direction? Why, this game is as unrealistic as it gets. I'm not discussing other aspects.
As for Bulletstorm - as expected. Will probably buy it when it's cheap. Since I'm not going to bother with Games For Windows Fuck and they borked the PS3 version too. Amateur programmers at Epic.

Well this is the only review that properly addresses the fundamental problems I have with this game. It's completely tied down by the awful bullshit of modern shooters. You can only carry 3 weapons, the levels are completely linear hallways with all the interesting scenery existing in the skybox outside the level, you have to push the alt fire button to "prepare" shots instead of simply firing them, the game wastes the right trigger on an ADS command, you are crippled by the usual low survivability + regenerating health problem that forces you to squat behind boxes and walls instead of simply running around shooting, and the game constantly tries to pile on the retarded Gears style mantard melodrama. Much of the joy and humor is shoved right out of the game as it wastes time trying to justify mechanics. The game would be better if it shed all these crappy contrivances and sported a completely nonsensical storyline where the characters just drunkenly rampage around the universe for no readily explained reason instead of wasting my time trying to act like a movie.

Modern shooters are shit. They're all about showing off engine effects in the form of forced non interactive scripted sequences and in-engine cutscenes rather than focusing on actual level design and gameplay. They're held down by this dumb ass 12 year old "I want to be in the marines when I grow up daddy" demand for realism. Any sort of fun and creativity evaporates under the corrosive cloud of realism and delusions of story depth. At this point every shooter looks and plays exactly the same. Every single one of them has the same exact military theme, every single one basically plays like a light gun game, and every single one of them is completely stagnate and devoid of any sort of interesting gameplay. You have a bunch of identical machine guns that you shoot at identical men with machine guns and everything is sequestered off into forced hand holding sequences where you're basically putting a square peg in a square hole over and over again. Walk to the end of this hallway and press the use button to put explosives on the thing.

The only modern shooter that really uses these conventions in a good way is Halo. Halo games take you through a series of sandbox battles where the space matters and everything (weapons, vehicles, turrets) is organically integrated into gameplay rather than being sequestered off into pre scripted "set piece moments." Most shooters however just copy gameplay mechanics from Halo without actually using them properly. The vehicles are sequestered off into special vehicle driving levels, the levels are all straight hallways instead of being large battlegrounds, and everything is so static and non dynamic that nothing you do matters. Either go the full dynamic path of Halo and STALKER or be like Doom and Duke Nukem 3d and be as crazy as humanly possible. Bulletstorm could have done the latter, but instead it's ruined by the usual improper co opting of Halo mechanics.

I'm idly wondering whether the motorbike for Painkiller was a Judas Priest reference. Or is it actually in the game? I should probably play it, actually.

Daveeo:
Meh didnt metion the Tits on fire.

It was a bra on fire anyway, so epic failed at that too.

Bloody screen! So real!

I can't bring myself to be surprised that the review is what it is. What I am surprised about is that there's actually a gun with flaming tits? That's cool.

Heh, I guess the flaming boobies weren't enough to sway Yahtzee :D

Actually how I felt playing it, suppose to be a shout from the past, but it's got this stupidly gritty brown and browner realistic modern shooter overlay that drags all fun away, they even put in quick time events... are you F*ing kidding me?!

People Can Fly being beaten into submission seems like a fairly accurate assessment there.

archvile93:
My favorite line in there would have to be, "Now, drop the net, hit him with sticks!" I have to disagree with his review of the gameplay though. Maybe I'm just better than him, but even on hard I spent very little time hiding behind walls. As long as they died before I did I was fine. And kicking an exlpoding bouncy ball was a blast (pun not intended).

I also played it on Hard and I think it was really fun, except for those fucking snipers and the fact that sniping an enemy in the balls was almost impossible (for me), because as soon as the (normal) bullet got near they would just cower and start running to the side, urgh, charge shot was great tough =). I really liked the weapons, but I think that the Thumper cost more than it was worth (cost more than you got from using it around 3-4 enemies). And I think I read somewhere that there would be "Epic battles with Giant bosses"...Yeah there weren't much of that. The Grindwheel wasn't really a boss, the Hecaton wasn't really a boss either (altough they were giant, so point for that maybe?). The plant-like boss was ok.

BrownGaijin:
So from what I'm taking into the first thirty seconds (or so) of this review is that Epic Games is Master, People Can Fly is Servant?

I prefer to think of them as Master and Blaster, respectively.

BrownGaijin:
So from what I'm taking into the first thirty seconds (or so) of this review is that Epic Games is Master, People Can Fly is Servant?

Imagine what could've been if it had been PCF had trapped Epic under the net and beaten them with sticks =) or at least 50/50

This recent obsession with realism in modern video games explains why I haven't bought a single one in the past 365 days, and why I have bought two in the past three years.

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