Zero Punctuation: Bulletstorm

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Wow. I bought Bulletstorm, and didn't like it quite as much as I thought I would, but couldn't figure out why. And then Yahtzee comes around and explains absolutely everything I couldn't quite place. Who'd think that the most truthful review would come from a satirist?

I really liked this one, as well as both Dead Spaces. And I liked neither of the Bioshocks or Dooms on account of being too dull and repetitive.

Maybe people do look for different things in FPS accoriding to their very own definition of "fun". But then I'm more interested in dynamic gameplay and descent story than the ability to carry around 200 pounds of guns and ammo on your back, while shooting machinegun as steadily as if it were a recoilless rifle.

And, seriously, how can you review Bulletstorm and say nothing about the dialogue? I mean every single one if Sarrano's lines is priceless and all of them combined make you glad he didn't die in the end, so that you have a chance to see him in a sequel and listen to his obscenities some more.

LordOrin:

Pikey Mikey:

LordOrin:
Augh! Thanks Yahtzee, now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head for another 5 years >:(

what song?

He references it in the credits ("I LOST MY HEART AND VARIOUS OTHER THINGS TO A STARSHIP TROOPER"):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TL6MAyTXMRA
Warning: the 70s were WEIRD!

He used the same song as an outro back in the days before he got his own soundtrack, but I can't remember which game it was for.

Levethian:
I suspect it won't - from what I've seen of it, it seems to have a story to tell, which means a carefully constructed narrative linking set-pieces, rather than a 'nonsense' fun shooter.

Well it really depends on what you mean by story. "The aliens are back, and they're trying to steal our women. Kill them." is about all the story amounts to at this point. Also, who's to say that a game can't have nonsense and structure? If it's all nonsense, sure, it's funny, but there's the times where you think "Wow, something like X would have been awesome at point Y,". But if it's all structured, then you get the Halo problem of "I just don't give a shit, game,". A good balance of nonsensical action and structured set-pieces would, theoretically, make for a damn good game.

Besides, it's been repeatedly said that DNF will not just be nonsense shooting all the way through. There will be puzzles, there will be setpieces (Such as a shrunk Duke escaping a casino in an RC car.), and there are 3 "Structured" boss fights within the first 90 minutes. But there will be all that carnage we love, especially since the 2-Gun system helps all the guns become equally awesome without breaking the game. Health-wise, Duke at least knows better than "sucking your thumb behind a wall for a while" to get back health.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxKL1By-6j4

Such as in here. Duke gets battered hard by a pig-cop. The screen begins to resemble blood-shot eyes from Duke's POV, so it's better than jelly on the screen. But he only stops for a second to reload, charges out, and his health is pretty much back by the time he gets to the enemies. What am I saying with all of this? Perhaps that modern conventions aren't necessarily bad, just poorly used.

Helth regen feels restrictive in CoD because of how easily you die. The Weapon limitation feels arbitrary in Halo because, while they may function differently, every gun basically does the same thing aside from a few exceptions. Duke fixes the health issue by mixing health regen with a proper health bar that gets upgraded by playing with the game world. He also fixes the weapon-issue by making each weapon feel actually different to every other one, as opposed to just having them function differently.

Obviously the demo (and you know, the actual game) will need to come out before I can be sure Duke's found the magic formula. But it's looking good to me so far. Hail to the king, bubblegum, When it's done, etc blah blah blah.

Madara XIII:

HankMan:
Forget the angst and homo erotic undertones.

Lets go kill something!

Pfffft I played Bullet Storm 12 years ago....

WHEN IT WAS CALLED WILD 9

image

That was an epic game.

OT: Thought he'd praise it myself, I had a lot of fun with it enough to complete the story twice on normal then very hard. Had some great laughs with my mates on the multiplayer also. The Penetrator is the best. Weapon. Ever.

Madara XIII:

HankMan:
Forget the angst and homo erotic undertones.

Lets go kill something!

Pfffft I played Bullet Storm 12 years ago....

WHEN IT WAS CALLED WILD 9

image

Omg... biggest rush of nostalgia in a long time. Wild 9 was one of my first games on the PS!
Think I only finished three levels or something though. I was 7-8 years old or something and didn't speak english.

Just wanted to thank you for bringing back some childhood memories that was since long forgotten!

DanielBrown:

Madara XIII:

HankMan:
Forget the angst and homo erotic undertones.

Lets go kill something!

Pfffft I played Bullet Storm 12 years ago....

WHEN IT WAS CALLED WILD 9

image

Omg... biggest rush of nostalgia in a long time. Wild 9 was one of my first games on the PS!
Think I only finished three levels or something though. I was 7-8 years old or something and didn't speak english.

Just wanted to thank you for bringing back some childhood memories that was since long forgotten!

No problem. Took me forever to find what the name of it was about a year ago when I couldn't remember its name. I actually took the initiative to watch a youtube video listing 200 playstation games looking for it and sure enough there it was.

Fronzel:

Madara XIII:

HankMan:
Forget the angst and homo erotic undertones.

Lets go kill something!

Pfffft I played Bullet Storm 12 years ago....

WHEN IT WAS CALLED WILD 9

image

Did you actually play Wild 9? The whole "torture" thing they used as the marketing gimmick didn't really show up in the game.

Not as much as one would expect, but for its time it was pretty damn fun. Slamming them into walls, using their corpses as bridges over spiked pits and the little dialouge that was in that game was actually pretty damn funny! Fave part had to be escorting around the guy who exploded by sneezing.

I'm not saying I hate bullet storm, but when I saw a considerable amount of similarities I honestly saw no point in FOX news getting so worked up. Plus Steve Blum was probably doing the voice over for Bulletstorm for a quick paycheck.

ZZoMBiE13:
Heaven knows this industry is big enough for all the audiences to be catered to. BulletStorms problem is that it doesn't commit to either. Over the top GUN GUN GUN madness or Dirty Grey Space Opera. Pick one and commit.

Yep, it's downright weird. Perhaps the games we seek will come from indie devs, since AAA's are too concerned with marketing based on graphics, story & violence.

Triforceformer:
But it's looking good to me so far. Hail to the king, bubblegum, When it's done, etc blah blah blah.

Hope you're right ;)

Perhaps the controls could be better configured for PC than they are on Xbox, but I haven't found a way to quickly and efficiently rattle off charged shots either. Especially since the word 'charged' drives me to wait a second before using it after prepping.

Along the lines of realism the relative scarcity of ammo is annoying me as well this first playthrough. Perhaps I'll love it enough to get the knack of 150pt comboing every single enemy the second time through, but for now I can barely afford to load my guns let alone load their charges. I'm wishful for previous Epic games like Unreal Tournament where you'd throw guns away if they had less than 20% ammo just to pick up a new one.

whatever. i enjoy it but that's probably because i'm relatively new to gaming and my standards haven't been raised by games like doom and serious sam

hey he kinda liked it? and that's about as much as I predicted anyway
I could tell the game achieved its goal to a certain degree, but I do felt at times the influence of modern gaming that took away from the retro monster splatterhouse style e.g. why can't these buggers just clump together more often so I can decapitate them all at once??

but anyway, I enjoyed the game, and I think Yahtzee did too
it's just a pity there weren't bizarre situations where I might be dumped into a big room with buttloads of enemies decided to forgo using cover and rush me and my massive-drill gun...delicious xP

Plinglebob:

Aiddon:
I was hoping he'd praise, but ya can't win every time. I still had fun with it. Admittedly I wish they just went into full-blown parody mode instead of trying to act serious; did I mention that this was written by a comic book writer?

This is as close to praise as he ever gets. This review perfectly sums up what I think of the game which is definitely a 1st.

archvile93:
My favorite line in there would have to be, "Now, drop the net, hit him with sticks!" I have to disagree with his review of the gameplay though. Maybe I'm just better than him, but even on hard I spent very little time hiding behind walls. As long as they died before I did I was fine.

I played it on easy because I'm a pansy and being able to run around without worrying whether or not I'll die certainly made the game more fun.

yeah this review was def a praise to a degree but obviously he's a critique and won't let it go without a smack on the bum

I played on normal I think, and yes there were a few sticky situations where I found myself hiding behind a chest high wall (awkward crouch button btw) thinking "heal heal...jeez this is feeling less like the 90s right now" haha

but then I got the "fire in the hole" skillshot and smiled

and felt a sudden urge to go out and rape people AHA just kidding, not happening the way you said it Miss Bulletstorm-Causes-Rape Fox Psychologist Lady Thing >=P

Crimson_Dragoon:
I'm surprised he didn't mention that they answered his wish to have a gun that had tits on fire on it. Sure, it was just a painting on a gun, but it was a nice little call out to his Painkiller review.

I was hoping he would mention it, but he didn't... I was disappointed.

philosophicalbastard:

baseracer:
Yathzee I blame Halo. Stupid regen health.

The first Halo actually had health bars. I believe it was Call of Duty that first used health regeneration, but I'm not sure.

First COD had health bars.

Halo had shields that recharged.

baseracer:

philosophicalbastard:

baseracer:
Yathzee I blame Halo. Stupid regen health.

The first Halo actually had health bars. I believe it was Call of Duty that first used health regeneration, but I'm not sure.

First COD had health bars.

Halo had shields that recharged.

And Halo also had health bars too, along with its recharging shields.

The reason shooters slowed down is simple: Console gaming.
Analog sticks just aren't good for fast paced shooters.

Now let's kill those dirty console playing peasants for the glory of the PC gaming master race!!!

Madara XIII:

HankMan:
Forget the angst and homo erotic undertones.

Lets go kill something!

Pfffft I played Bullet Storm 12 years ago....

WHEN IT WAS CALLED WILD 9

image

Oh man, you just reminded me of that game, I have a copy of it too and never played it all that much... Fond memories of the demo as a kid.

I know what I'm doing later :P

I'm still waiting on a PC demo, then I'll decide.

On another note the latest Painkiller is not very fun.

Think there's a bit of an issue of him comparing a PC FPS game (Painkiller) and a Console FPS on gameplay style. One of the reasons for the prevalence of chest high wall combat is it matches the console controller more than a totally freewheeling fast paced FPS. So if he wants a change from what's become a combat standard, maybe he needs a game that's made for PC (like Painkiller was) and ported to console (or play it on PC) and not for console and ported to PC.

I hope Duke Nukem Forever can succeed where Bulletstorm fails. And if it doesn't, then maybe Serious Sam 3 will. And if both of those fail, may whatever God presides over gaming have murcy on us all.

After this, i am EAGERLY awaiting the *real* Duke Nukem Forever review :)

I SHOULD like Bulletstorm. I realy really should. I mean I love Serious Sam and I loved Painkiller. I've also been saying for years now that the industry should try and take a step back for a minute and look at how things were done in the past, because at one point it seemed to be getting lost in this "modern" philosophy that games like Halo and Call Of Duty helped push forward. However so far, the game has just failed to grab me. I think its because of this whole "Kill with skill!" mantra. Somehow I think Id like it better if it was "just" a Serious Sam/Painkiller clone. But then again I have only played the demo, so I should probably give it more a chance before dismissing it completely.

Interesting that there's no mention that this game really owes its existence to Yahtzee, since his Painkiller review brought People Can Fly back from the dust with a surge of purchases.

I will say that Bulletstorm was one of the more OTT fares of FPS, now we await Duke Nukem Forever, which should make for a nice paradox review from Yahtzee.

did I miss it or did he not bother to mention the tits on fire gun?

I don't know whether to agree with the video or not...

I've been playing so many "modern" FPS games that when I popped an old MOH CD in and played I hid behind cover to recover health despite having a health bar and I aimed at enemies despite the damage not improving.

I have been completely brainwashed by the new FPS model - I don't think I can go back.

Well I like it so I won't let this get me down.

I love Yahtzee but im beginning to wonder if he doesnt just hate all games because hes s**t at them. Bulletstorm is hardly the most difficult game yet he expects enemys to stand around grouped together for easy slaughter.

Also why complain about having to press another button to charge a shot? Because it requires a little more preparation and skill?

I agree with him a game should be able to stand alone without multiplayer but this makes me think single player because he cant handle anything above easy difficulty.

The Random One:
I hope Duke Nukem Forever can succeed where Bulletstorm fails. And if it doesn't, then maybe Serious Sam 3 will.

Didn't realise that Serious Sam 3 is due for release Q3 2011. Croteam are incorruptible, touch wood. Leave em alone, Epic!

Dear Yahtzee..
About the Skillshots that you didn't understand:

1. News bot: Remember mission 1? when you need to headshot a reporter? yeah, the good general don't like reporters, news, and even less paper boy(bots)s... yes, i realize that this is piss sorry reason to justify why the good general wants his solders killing news bots (500 points by the way, that's a lot! you get that when you unlock a new skillshot!) but here is the answer, it's cheezy, but it IS somewhat buy-able.

2. Bugs/plants: ok, the soldiers were sent down to clean out the thugs/cults/mutants, and yes, anything that would endanger this planet to be re-populated by rich folks, and that includes the "electric flies" have you kick a thug in to a group of that? yep, it's pretty deadly, I'm sure that our good general won't like to see the sponsors' costumers' kids getting "Fly Guy" now do we? no need to explain the "man-eaters" they are... well... man-eaters, yeah, general wants that out as well...

3. Booz: notice how some bad guys, and enviroments in this game will make your screen, and movements go "shit mode"? yeh, to show to the good general that you are a solider that can work "under stress" will gain you MORE re-supply! it actually make sense! look, the Booz, basically a joke, that Grayson was a drunker, and out of his alcohol addiction, he found a way to cheat the system, he gets intoxicated with booz, so he can get extra points, to gimp more supplies! Remember act 1? where he was drunk, and he still shot the glass bottle off the bounty hunter's head? (story wise) Gray was a sharp shooter, even when is drunk! and that skill shot just reinforced that part of the plot, where he drunk himself to cheat the system, which "shouldn't" effect his performance, and if a player got killed because he was drunk, then that would mean the player was not "Grayson" enough.

By the way, I am really tire to hear you talk about how the graphic(art style) don't fit your "taste", to me, there is NO big armor on Grayson, nor his sidekick Cranky the Japanese robot... compare to duds from GOW, Grayson is almost skimpy! And just because you lack the skill to use the cannonball charge shot, doesn't make it a bad design, there is a reason why this game puts that weapon's charge shot later, you are supposed to get better at it. The whole thing about spray out enemies, was to actually make this game a worthy challenge! otherwise your review would have gone the other way saying "...the AI were so stupid moving like herds of sheep all I had to do was run around them round them up like a overarmed collie, and..." I think this game is a "forward" even in story, simple, funny, got a point, and voice acting was fine (compared to GOW or UT3).

I was half-expecting Yahtzee to, at some point, either demand a cut from the sales to Bulletstorm or a public apology for it due to the 'shout out' in the game, but whatever. Still, that was a fun 'review.'

even with its not seriously taken story I just dont care for shooters anymore, at all, hell im really surprised we havent reached the point where trey arch hasnt literally burned down due to fan hatred for making another bad CoD game.

I know the shooter age is ending, we all can see it. but the ending has only just started, I just cant wait for it to finally finish, so I can actually enjoy them again when only the peole who REALLY care about the genre are left.

I feel like the only person who doesn't give a shrews teat about this game. Everyone has been talking about it in one way or another for the past month or so, but to me it just feels like yet another average shooter on the bloated shooter market that will be all but forgotten in 2 months. Maybe I'll bother with it once Steam put it in their bargain bin.

It's a good game. But I find the "serious" part to be unappealing. I agree i wish they went full on humor instead of sprinkling "serious" part here and there

mjc0961:
Doomguy isn't technically a space marine... He is LITERALLY a space marine. He is an actual marine, not some game-world equivalent of the marines, they are actually just called marines. And they send him to an assignment on Mars as a punishment (or just because they need more marines in Doom 3), thus making him a space marine. Doomguy is actually the only true example of a space marine in a game that I'm aware of; it's all the other characters that are only technically space marines.

Master Chief

Full title, "Master Chief Petty Officer" a naval rank. USMC was originally part of the Navy. A marine is a member of a marine corps, marine corps defined as a military organization of Marines who are trained and equipped to fight on or from ships.

When the fuck are we gonna get space black ops?

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