Zero Punctuation: Bulletstorm

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"I named him Waggleton P. Tallylicker, but I never got the chance to tell him. He will be remembered." Saddedst part of the game

I still haven't bought the game although I did play it for a couple of hour at my friends place. Not a bad game but like Ben said it has to get rid of the modern wrap that it is in.

As a resident of Bognor Regis, I love how many Americans will now be looking up Butlins!

But Yahtzee, they put in a reference to you. Your morally obligated to like this game.

I like all the comments about the flaming tit gun.

I really liked this game, I thought it was purely screw-around type of fun.

I completely agree with the review. This game seems to be tuned down for no apparent benefit or reason. Painkiller was all about fighting huge armies of mad enemies with awesome weapons in wildly detailed settings that were not constrained by any story. Bulletstorm is about fighting not so huge armies of not so mad enemies with less awesome weapons in a postapocalyptic and mandatory very brownish world.

There are some moments where Bulletstorm proves it's heritage. Some of the levels cramped into this game are awesome (especially the part inside the miniature city). But these pieces of awesome are rare. Bulletstorm also suffers from the FF13 "it get's better after x hours".

However: I really liked the story. Not because of it's uniqueness, but because of the over the immature top dialoges and the evil general. I think no video game forced you to accompany such an evil bastard.

uhhh, wasnt this the type of game he usually rants on about as being, you know, good?

everything (but the chest high walls) seem to be his style, for the most part its quite good with intensity (provided you play along, no one says you need to use the chest high walls, they are there for the hairier moments), the characters are all a bunch of 8 yr olds mentally (as they would be in real life), the dialog is over the top and there's no one way to do anything but it is still a linear game (which he has already admitting to tolerating).

everybody already knows that the games made with epic's engine are going to most likely be utilizing chest high walls, as that is the way it was designed and it takes a lot of effort to change that while using this engine.

you knew what you were going into, its on the box, can you please stop harping on about the god damn chest high walls? no? aw...

I can't believe he did the whole review without a reference to his personalised easter egg!
(The tits on fire thing)

Not G. Ivingname:

Yahtzee Croshaw:
Snip

Well, at least Serious Sam 3 is coming out this summer.

it's about frickin time!

I was about to ask.. "HAVE YOU PLAYED SERIOUS SAM!!!!?!"

will be interesting to see what the new one is like!

P.S. you can't play fast paced, 'free range' shooters with a controller... thats why.

harvz:

you knew what you were going into, its on the box, can you please stop harping on about the god damn chest high walls? no? aw...

you don't review shit, by saying "its perfectly edible" just because you knew it was shit when you ordered it!

it still tastes SHIT!

also, just fyi, chest high walls is purely gameplay, its not engine related. no, the thing they had to use that restricted gameplay to chest high walls, was not the engine, it was probably the controller...

matt87_50:

harvz:

you knew what you were going into, its on the box, can you please stop harping on about the god damn chest high walls? no? aw...

you don't review shit, by saying "its perfectly edible" just because you knew it was shit when you ordered it!

it still tastes SHIT!

also, just fyi, chest high walls is purely gameplay, its not engine related. no, the thing they had to use that restricted gameplay to chest high walls, was not the engine, it was probably the controller...

wow, nice yahtzee impression, with flawed logic and a hint of idiocy.

what do you think the gameplay is based on, THE ENGINE, i may know as i did a small project using the unreal engine, much of the functionality is based on chest high walls, meaning the requirements to make a non-cover based shooter is harder and requires more balancing that, lets say, developers on a schedule and budget dont have the resources for.

the controller has absolutely nothing to do with it, the game does not require more than 12 buttons (not including start and back), 2 triggers that are very dynamic and 2 joysticks. the only game style that really requires a reduction are RPG's/strategy, anything more is laziness on the devs part, which is besides the point due to that fact that this is a FIRST PERSON SHOOTER.

please at least learn a little about how games work, preferably before you start making a FPS on the engine for peggle.

Why did we start making "not fun" games?
Especially shooters!

I still remember when my dad started playing DOOM...
His stress level dropped SO fast, that he was an actual joy to have around the house!

But then something happened to them :(
Suddenly it wasn't OK to have fun shooting things (even a virtual thing) and shooters (for some reason) became taboo.

Personally I look forward to the return of "fun shooters" and the side-splitting laughs that they'll give use!

Particularly surprised he didn't mention the epidemic of quick-time events.

He didn't even mention the gun that hat tits and was on fire.

Well, i like Bulletstorm.
So..there....>_<

Thanking for showing love to Doom Yahtzee.

It loves you right back.

<3

I loved that he called the kick, "using your MIGHTY BOOT".
It reminded me of sunny days in my youth when I did not go outside.

LordOrin:

Pikey Mikey:

LordOrin:
Augh! Thanks Yahtzee, now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head for another 5 years >:(

what song?

He references it in the credits ("I LOST MY HEART AND VARIOUS OTHER THINGS TO A STARSHIP TROOPER"):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TL6MAyTXMRA
Warning: the 70s were WEIRD!

Good thing, that warning. That was bizarre =|

whtkid6969:
"I named him Waggleton P. Tallylicker, but I never got the chance to tell him. He will be remembered." Saddedst part of the game

Yeah. We will all mourn the loss of W.P. Tallylicker =(

Not to be pedantic, but comparing modern "space marine shooters" with Doom...

what sort of character do you play as in Doom?

True Nero:
i can't play it without three friends cause jumping into a random game with random people who don't have mics is as fun as putting my eyeball under a drill press. there is a level of fun to it, but it needs to be well coordinated

i loled the second i saw that! perfect yahtzee style one liner XD

awesome review yahtzee! imo your funniest yet!

Eh, Yahtzee has a point. Bulletstorm falls somewhere between mass-slaughterfest and QUICK TAKE COVER in design, but that's not a good place to be. It ends up half-assing both of them. I enjoyed the characters, I enjoyed the dialogue, I enjoyed the fact that he knocks his own ass out once an hour at the very least because he's such a moron, but I didn't really enjoy the combat so much, which is the entirety of the gameplay apart from the odd setpiece.

In short, I had a lot of fun, but I'm sure not going to replay it. Epic should stop stuffing Gears into places they don't belong.

Smeagol150:
Entertaining review, but I believe Bulletstorm is not supposed to be thought about very hard.

Well that's a piss poor cop out.

you forgot to mention that you can unlock a skin for one of the guns that has a picture of flaming tits.

A bit late I know, but I just saw this and reminded me of this article about Doom and what sets apart from modern FPSs.

http://vectorpoem.com/news/?p=74

Fun video :)

Maybe I've not had my coffee this morning but... can someone explain the wearing a bin comment to me?

I think I am done caring about his reviews. It seems like he complains just to complain. I honestly love the game, and thought that after his complaining that he would enjoy the feel of it. But he isn't happy with anything so I am done. I guess a guy constantly complaining can only be entertaining for a little bit.

NathanS:
A bit late I know, but I just saw this and reminded me of this article about Doom and what sets apart from modern FPSs.

http://vectorpoem.com/news/?p=74

Nice article.
Oblige + ZDoom2 + Aeons of Death ;) Excellent.

Thomas Guy:
I think I am done caring about his reviews. It seems like he complains just to complain.

Really? I thought it was spectacularly predictable that he would relate Bulletstorm to Painkiller and think 'No'. His disappointment echoes what he's always said about modern shooters.

misterprickly:
Why did we start making "not fun" games?

Probably because better graphics demanded making use of them, tilting everything towards realism.

And yet another poo poo pancake reviewed by Yahtzee...

Yeah...

Marik Bentusi:

misterprickly:
Why did we start making "not fun" games?

Probably because better graphics demanded making use of them, tilting everything towards realism.

I hope that's not the case for Crysis 2. Looks SWEET!

"Realistic"? Honestly? Realistic games incredibly thin on the ground, jeez, give me some more I say. How on earth is GoW realistic, or Bulletstorm? They're about as realistic as the third Rambo movie ... no actually, much LESS realistic. As someone who enjoys realistic games (and has to search around like a detective for them, the unrealistic games I enjoy also, but much less) I find it mildly offensive, it'd be like me saying "I'm sick of all this tasty food!" and you replying "all we have are rocks and the odd piece of corn we pick out of the sewer". But hey, unrealistic games sell :(

halofreak123:
And yet another poo poo pancake reviewed by Yahtzee...

You realize that the entire point to ZP is to ruthlessly rage on whatever game happens to be crossing his path, right? Honestly, his videos are 6 minute long sprees of vitriol because anger is the easiest button to push on the day to day Escapist denizen. It's not "another panning", it's ZP where it's all pans all the time.[1]

Marik Bentusi:

misterprickly:
Why did we start making "not fun" games?

Probably because better graphics demanded making use of them, tilting everything towards realism.

By your logic, since everyone seems to have such a nerd-on for classic era games, moving past 8 bit graphics was a mistake. The medium develops and with it the means and talent that can go into them. Saying "Baww, it's pretty so obviously that's why I didn't like it, they spend more time on the graphics than the 'fun'" doesn't suggest a decline in developer priorities, it's an indication that you won't like every game that comes out, even if they're from your favorite genre. If they can make something look great now in the same time it would have taken them to make something look good three years ago, why are you crapping on their initiative to do so?

OT: While I realize arguing against a ZP is about as effective a waste of time as you can get... I'm bored and I enjoy Bulletstorm so what the hell, I'll point out where he's just plain wrong.

On Realism[2]
So sliding twelve feet on your ass and still having enough momentum to send someone end over end with your boot is...
So being able to kick someone across a hotel lobby is...
So being able to put a rope around someone's neck and pull them to you from two stories up is...
So PCF's attempt to have 50% of the color spectrum onscreen at any one time was...
So being able to steer a bullet in flight or separate someone's funzone from the rest of their body, kick a mine without it exploding, slowing time to launch someone into the air then light them on fire and cut them in half is... (and the killer thing is he mentions all of this later on so I'm not sure if he's "taking the piss" or he wrote each half of the episode on two separate days)
On chest-high walls
First, yes there are chest-high walls, but there is no GoW cover system, or ANY cover system for that matter. The environments would be pretty barren without crap littered all over the place (some less chest-high-ier than others) and ducking behind a wall not to get your ass blown off isn't a tired mechanic, it's limiting the chance of getting a superfluous new orifice. They don't need to put platforms covering all the bottomless pits in Mario, you need to jump.
On pacing
There's an entire game mode where you are being timed and rewarded for completing the stage quickly. Who exactly is playing to suggest that Bulletstorm is slow paced? Mice become slow paced if you put them in a freezer first. There's nothing to inhibit you from having a guns-blazing firepower romp through each level. Going on to complain that "enemies don't line up for the charged shots" kind of takes the piss when your kick and leash are all there in order to change how enemies line up, not to mention circle strafing and sliding. The game just won't hold your hand while you do it and the AI isn't as retarded as all hell.

[1] And before someone jumps me on it, yes he has given positive rambles to games (Painkiller and Saintsrow 2 most notably, since he keeps referencing them) but here's the rub; Those games, for whatever reason, rubbed Yahtzee "the right way". Opinions, kickbacks, snobbish non-mainstream attitude, whatever. They're no less flawed than Bulletstorm or any other game he pisses on, he just keeps his criticism saved for a small addendum at the end of the clip to hide that it's still shit.
Painkiller - The story is entirely needless and entirely forgotten during actual gameplay but you wouldn't think it how the way cinematics bang on and on emptying huge wastebins filled with half-baked expositional dialogue onto our screaming faces because they were determined to crowbar this shit in somewhere... the storyline can go fuck itself.
[2] The human enemies are resembling your co-workers, in-laws and probation officers, with their mohawks, tatoos and piercings... wait what?

Yahtzee Croshaw:
Bulletstorm

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Bulletstorm, the combined effort from the two developers who brought us Painkiller and Gears of War.

Watch Video

wait wait what....... you play 2 worlds 2 on a lapto but you play bulletstorm on a console?

*runs off to vent rage for a second*

either the xbox controlls are a mess , or you can't slide on xbox

I was waiting for a joke about how they ripped the "Endless kneeslide if I go in circles" feature from wet and used it to stimulate you to basically move that way the entire game, nonwithstanding if you hit someone whilst doing that they neatly start falling in slow motion being both a meat shield and a target for you to vent your anger on.

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