Zero Punctuation: Killzone 3

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 NEXT
 

Oh man, when I saw the review was going to be KZ3, I cringed a little knowing what to expect from Yahtzee.

Anyways, I liked the game, plus it's strange that Yahtzee is complaining about the R1/L1 buttons being used for firing since every shooter on the PS3 sets it up that way.

Oh, and the developers of this game are Dutch, not us Americans. So I don't know what that means, the relations of you Brits and the Dutch, maybe you can explain...lol

So the 3d and motion controls are bad huh?
Color me surprised.
Wait...not really

Good review as always
cheers

Huh, I would have thought the ISA was the IRA not the USA. Well missed that one I guess.

Ah well had a few laughs and proud of Yahtzee to tell Move and 3D to fuck off.

That Guy Who Phails:

TheFPSisDead:
wooo, more yahtzee hating on the US. *yawn*.

Everyone hates on the US nowadays, you guys must really suck or something.
:)

Either that or the rest of the world is sippin some serious haterade.

Well the last FPS i actually enjoyed playing was Counter Strike (old i know),but at least everything worked just fine unlike the new games where its hard to even crouch and aim.But in the end that is hut my opinion :)

Onyx Oblivion:
Why does only HALF of the door break a HALF-second later when I melee it?

Anyway, I find R1 works better than R2 for shooting on PS3.

Since it's "triggers" suck.

R2 works fine for less action focused games like RDR and Mafia 2, but with FPS games on PS3, I prefer R1.

This. R2 is such an incredibly shitty button for shooting. It takes presses more as suggestions than commands, and every time I put it down (say, for a cutscene) and then pick it up, it shoots, which has killed quite a few team-mates in online games.

I'm not sure if it's because this seemed like a genuine rant or what - but this video was one of the more entertaining ones.

BlueInkAlchemist:

Ekonk:
...You do know this game was made by the Dutch, not by Americans, yeah?

So the Dutch are taking the piss out of the US of A?

I can get behind that.

as can I!
But as a brit... what did we do to the Dutch to upset them? Remember Jedward are Irish and have nothing to do with the rest of the British Isles!

Jetpacks again? Is it me or have games been featuring jetpacks since Yahtzee said he had tons of fun with one? Or does he just end up getting games that have jetpacks in them?

I like most of your reviews and the hate comedy on them but if america is so fucking stupid and gay then why do more people move from their countries to ours? The only reason why its hard to get a green card is because we want productive people who can actually help other people in this country and because so many people are flooding toward us faster then a Tsunami in Japan.

If I'm honest I was on the fence on whether or not to buy this game. so thank you Yahtzee, this video made me realise that it would probably be a waste of my hard earned money...

Killzone 3 sucked IMO. Then again, I don't really remember what I was expecting.

Did he try the thing they developed for the PS Move specifically for shooters which emulates a real gun?

Other then that no surprise really, you can just tell by the gameplay what kind of game it is and how many were made in its kind.

Nomanslander:

Oh, and the developers of this game are Dutch, not us Americans. So I don't know what that means, the relations of you Brits and the Dutch, maybe you can explain...lol

There was a period of time where they hated each other and when a fire occured and burned the Queen's palace they blamed it on the Dutch.

GIMMICKS

HURT

GAMING QUALITY

3D, waggle controls and cameras don't do anything but try to distract you from how shitty the game is beyond the expensive effects they're trying to make you think you didn't waste your fucking money on.

Movie theaters used 3D, smell-o-vision, vibrating chair 'sense-o-round', and all that crap in the 50's and 60's because the movies were so bad and poorly put together

So fuck 3D, fuck motion control, and fuck the decisions made by shareholders and douchebags in suits

Not that I had any real interest in Killzone 3 to begin with, but I'm finding Yahtzee to be far less amusing than he's been in the past. Perhaps it's this whole problem with the pattern he's fallen into.

1. Insult Americans.
2. Whiny nitpicks about sequels.
3. Chest-high walls.
4. Sweary bollocks.
5. Dick jokes.
6. Chest-high walls.
7. AAA titles suck.
8. Standard issue FPS complaints. (Yet that's all he ever reviews.)
9. Chest-high walls.
10. Superiority Complex
11. More sweary bollocks.
12. Chest-high walls.
13. Finish with a dick joke.
14. Did I mention chest-high walls?
15. Profit.

I like this series a lot more when it was a fresh look at gaming. Now it's simply a rage-fest that's getting repetitive and filled with chest-high walls.

Wow. A little sad how quick you are to jump into anti-American bullshit, especially since this game is Dutch-developed. Who's the bigot again?

There is really no excuse for not having fully customizable controls in games any more , hell both Sony and Microsoft will freely GIVE the minuscule programs to any dev team(we're talking kilobytes here) - it's not like it's a huge programming nightmare to have a screen with a photo of the controller and allow the player to place his/her own controls as he/she wishes.

Really whats scarring the devs teams?

That this will lead to some sort of anarchistic nightmare?

Dev one :"look at OUR players.. they are playing OUR game that WE made their OWN way it's bedlam!!"

Dev two :"I can't stand it..it's It's Anarchy..I'M pulling the plug!!!"

soldier9501:
Yahtzee seemed to miss the fact that this game was made by a company based in Amsterdam.

And you could switch the crouch/aim buttons. It's called the "Alternate" control scheme.

Doesn't change the fact that the game is clearly aimed at Americans and the protagonists are obviously American surrogate characters in their WWII analogy. Hence their American accents and rugged, brown-haired, manly appearance; the default look of practically every Western protagonist.

Jack Phoenix:
I like most of your reviews and the hate comedy on them but if america is so fucking stupid and gay then why do more people move from their countries to ours? The only reason why its hard to get a green card is because we want productive people who can actually help other people in this country and because so many people are flooding toward us faster then a Tsunami in Japan.

I think you're taking his reviews too seriously. He is after-all only reviewing a silly game, and not launching a polemic dissertation against the US.

This is one of the less funny reviews in my opinion. Honestly Yahtzee, we got the fact you hate America! We know you don't like chest high walls! There's also something called "CHANGEABLE INTERFACE". And the triggers on the PS3 kinda suck for shooting anyways.

Yahtzee, with all due respect, China will buy Europe before it buys America. Europe's cheaper!

Helped defeat? You make it sound like it was America that truly beat the axis while the rest of the Allies gave minor contributions.
Britain Canada and France defeated the Nazis America kinda helped but only during the end when Japan Broke their dock. Seriously why do so many people think America was the Big hero in WWII, they showed up at the last minute and Only because Japan attacked I'm pretty sure America was doing trade with Germany.

It could be wurst...

wow He didn't like it I am so shocked. -___- I mean we all knew what kind of game was coming out after you played the first one no need to expect anything else.

I bought KZ2 and got about 20 minutes in before I shelved it. The graphics have potential, but if you peer past the (admittedly nice) post-processing the base textures are alarmingly low resolution. Everything runs together in an uninteresting muddy sameness and lacks sharpness. The characters and setting are poorly realized, unrealistic and unrelateable, and I don't recall being impressed by any animation (particularly facial).

I watched some KZ3 videos to get a grip on how things have changed, but from what I've seen they haven't. :(

Is it just me, or was that one kinda dull? The jokes just weren't as good as usual. But at least it wasn't for another obscure piece of crap nobody's ever heard of. SONIC COLORS FOR THE Wii NOW, PLEASE. PLLLLLEEEEEEAAAAASSSSSEEEEEE!! I want to see it SUFFER!!

Did anyone else cringe at that "sausage slicing machine"-joke?
The stuff of nightmares!

from now on
whenever i see an advert on the escapist i will think,
another buck for Yahtzees Kinect move

Gods damn it, Bulletstorm was NOT a fucking cover based shooter, if you honestly think that Yahtzee, you've approached it the wrong way.

And Killzone sounds about as terrible as I always thought it'd be!

Also, on the topic of the ZP's humour, I personally found that it goes through phases of being extremely funny and then being more serious, Dead Space 2 has started off this unfunny phase, but that's not surprising tbh

Therumancer:

We're talking about pop culture, not the culture in of itself. This revolves around fantasy and how the Britan likes to portray itself, not reality. You'll notice I haven't mentioned ONE source of role-playing games, but tons of differant things all around a similar theme, including one of the longer running comic universes out there.

The point here being is that with all of this stuff being produced, I don't see where there is any room to complain about Killzone, which is just another work of fantasy in a similar vein. The only possible reason to say "well this is differant" is simply because it seems to be being made by someone who isn't British. Sort of like a black person shooting off the "N" word every 15 seconds and then getting all upset when someone else does it.

I never said the British were goosestepping through the streets to planning campaigns of facist world domination in reality, simply that there is a definate trend to show that within british pop culture. You can protest it all you want and say that it's contrary to the British mentality as a whole, and that's fine, I believe you that people don't act that way in public or go around screaming that idealogy, but at the end of the day it's a popular escapist concept. I'm sure part of the whole appeal is specifically BECAUSE it's "wrong" sort of like kids wanting to be pirates, or going through a phase where they are interested in criminals and seriel killers. People don't go watch horror movies and cheer for the bad guys (hey it happens) due to some actual desire to go out and committ sadistic acts of murder. People go to see "A Nightmare On Elm Street" to see Freddy Kreuegar kill people in messed up ways, which is why he's iconic, and they sell action figures of him, not of the teen girls who ultimatly defeat him. :)

Yahtzee has no reason to pick on this aspect of things like it's in some way unfair, because it really isn't.

If you want to get technical as well, for all of the "OMG, we suffered so much" stuff from World War II, remember The British Empire was at one time the dominant world power, and engaged in a LOT of very aggressive wars of conquest before overextending itself. For all pretensions of "oh well we grew out of that" it's foolish to try and claim with a straight face that people don't look back at the time when their people were dominant, and the techniques and tactics they used to do it. Because of how relativelty recent he was people will point fingers at Hitler, but on a lot of levels he wasn't all that differant from other conquering powers. You can draw as many analogies between a lot of these really fascist and aggressive British fantasy concepts, and the time of The British Empire. Heck, Kipling probably would have found a lot to like in "Warhammer 40k".

Every nation wants to publically present itself as being peaceful, reactive, and nice guys, well unless they are the dominant world power usually. When fortunes change pretty much every former power goes "Ummm, yeah about all that fascism, racism, conquest and brutality... we're really sorry, we've outgrown that" and then whine about being on the receiving end.

The bottom line is that there is no reason to get defensive about it, or try and deny it, it's all right there so you can't anyway. My point isn't to be judgemental of any point except the hypocricy of the complaint... and again, nobody is saying that the British guy on the street right now is secretly some kind of militant maniac, not even fans of the materials being mentioned, no more than someone who likes horror movies is secretly planning to go on murder rampages.

Well done for not reading my post at all.

Firstly, most of the things you listed aren't supportive of facist regimes, quite the opposite in fact.

Secondly, the Helghast are specifically portrayed to be similar to Nazis, from the uniforms to the German sounding name. It's all fine and dandy talking about the British empire, I'm no apologist, I know the empire was brutal, but it was not in anyway Nazi Germany, nor was it particularly facist, and the point is that the British are portraying the side they fought so hard against. It's like making a game based around the American revolution where the French fight for independance from the Americans.

Finally, are you seriously saying that because 'V for Vendetta' and 'Warhammer 40K' Britain is now asssociated with facism to the general audience? Really?

putowtin:

BlueInkAlchemist:

Ekonk:
...You do know this game was made by the Dutch, not by Americans, yeah?

So the Dutch are taking the piss out of the US of A?

I can get behind that.

as can I!
But as a brit... what did we do to the Dutch to upset them? Remember Jedward are Irish and have nothing to do with the rest of the British Isles!

I get it now. This game is a Dutch plot *puts on sunglasses* to drive a wedge between the USA and UK... *dramatic music*

Also, nice play on words, Yahtzee. "Fuck it right in the cutting edge. ouch!" Classic!

Ekonk:
...You do know this game was made by the Dutch, not by Americans, yeah?

Yeah...

It feels weird getting insulted when it's not your fault. Hah!

In any case, hi-larious review as usual. While I do tease myself with the idea of getting a PS3 for Killzone 3, I keep arguing that it's still a relatively mediocre, run-of-the-mill shooter with an absolutely gorgeous appearance.

Killzone 2 was a really great game...However what killed it for me was the controls. It was virutally unplayable on the highest difficulty setting. As far as i understood the controls had been rewamped for this installment. Seems i was somewhat wrong.

They aren't British.....they are just British actors....
British actors (or at least the British accent) are the generic stand in for all Europeans...current or ancient.
Like in Gladiator...
or Troy...
or Alexander...
or just about any movie set in Europe...

Besides....it's too hard to teach the actors all the other accents

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Registered for a free account here