Zero Punctuation: Kirby's Epic Yarn

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I never expected him to review a Kirby game...

Ya well Yahtzee suprised me with this one. I never expected him to review a Kirby game either. Still the review was good and I have to completely agree with the difficulty of games now a days. Games should not be afraid to let you know that you F...ed up it builds character and teaches you that practice makes perfect and something along the lines of if at first you don't succeed try try again. I miss the older generation games or at least how they ran them.

Cool...my 4-year old autistic devil-spawn was eyeing this game. Sounds like I wouldn't enjoy it at all. At least Sonic Colo(u)rs that he is playing now looks rather interesting. I never played a Kirby game I liked anyways.

Bla bla bla..

But did you like it Yahtzee?

You know, sometimes with these reviews, I have to wonder if you really even like anything...

Okysho:
Wow! Didn't see this one coming... I thought Yahtzee was too professional to review Epic Yarn...

Ah well now my suspicions are completely right! Nintendo is officially on it's last legs. If Skyward Sword blows, I'm melting my console.

Also, it looks like Epic Yarn took everything Sakurai couldn't put into SSBB adventure mode and threw it into one big game. I know HAL entertainment are notorious for secrets and backtracking, but FUCK!

Melting your console, thus reducing supply without any impact on demand (on consoles or games, as if you wanted to melt it I take it you weren't about to buy more games for it), and as such increasing the amount that Nintendo is able to charge, or at the very least increasing retail values, and thus insentivising more people to buy Wiis.

If you want to punish Nintendo, sell your console with all of its games. Demand for consoles and games, as well as their retail values, will be reduced.

You could go further by producing bad press for them. Perhaps start a rumour that the Wii killed a kitten.

Blibbax:

Okysho:
Wow! Didn't see this one coming... I thought Yahtzee was too professional to review Epic Yarn...

Ah well now my suspicions are completely right! Nintendo is officially on it's last legs. If Skyward Sword blows, I'm melting my console.

Also, it looks like Epic Yarn took everything Sakurai couldn't put into SSBB adventure mode and threw it into one big game. I know HAL entertainment are notorious for secrets and backtracking, but FUCK!

Melting your console, thus reducing supply without any impact on demand (on consoles or games, as if you wanted to melt it I take it you weren't about to buy more games for it), and as such increasing the amount that Nintendo is able to charge, or at the very least increasing retail values, and thus insentivising more people to buy Wiis.

If you want to punish Nintendo, sell your console with all of its games. Demand for consoles and games, as well as their retail values, will be reduced.

You could go further by producing bad press for them. Perhaps start a rumour that the Wii killed a kitten.

I was joking.... slightly... The Wii is the only system I own besides a PC so I'm not about to give it up...

I like your kitten idea though...

...
...
...

I'm not evil...

OniYouji:
You know, sometimes with these reviews, I have to wonder if you really even like anything...

He does. Along with the top 5 games of 2010 video that shows some of the games he liked, he also likes Half Life 2 and Silent Hill 2.

MB202:

Kanazuchi:
Is it me, or is Kirby the brand name Nintendo sticks on their more innovative (i.e. not another bloody Mario/Zelda/Metroid) games? I'm looking over the few Kirby games I have on hand, and they don't play like each other.

Funnily enough, Kirby is one of Nintendo's best-selling franchises, and is right behind Mario, Pokemon, Zelda, and Metroid in terms of popularity.

Whoops, quoted the wrong post >_>

MB202:
Alright, so I didn't really expect anything different from a review of a game like this from a guy like Yahtzee, but one thing I do want to complain about was his portrayl of Kirby in this review. It sucks.

And I don't mean that in a "lol Kirby literally sucks up stuff" sort of way, I mean it's a lame representation of what Kirby's supposed to look like.

Yeah, he should've just drawn the head with the arms sticking out of that instead.

Yeah, I know about his love for SotC, Silent Hill 2 and whatnot, but his standards seem to be way too high, nitpicking everything in everything and is disappointed that the games he plays aren't equally as amazing. Maybe it's just because of his insane level of snark, (because some of his "awards" in 2010 were still condescending) but it seems like he only likes one or two games a year and hates everything for not quite being up to his standards.

Again, not saying he doesn't have some legitimate reviews where the game he hates does pretty much deserve it, but he can't seem to enjoy most games as they should be.

Electrogecko:
[Yahtzee] needs to play Bit.Trip Beat/Flux.

No he does not. Bit.Trip Flux is harder than diamond-enfused concrete. Too hard to be any fun. Beat, probably, but how can we convince him?

I don't watch episodes of ZP if it's a Wii game =/

Jailbird408:

Electrogecko:
[Yahtzee] needs to play Bit.Trip Beat/Flux.

No he does not. Bit.Trip Flux is harder than diamond-enfused concrete. Too hard to be any fun. Beat, probably, but how can we convince him?

Now I'm confused. I never played Beat, but I thought the game did not have checkpoints like Flux does. Flux was designed so that anybody could beat it without too much frustration, and I didn't have too much trouble with it....I think it's easier to beat than Core or Runner, but the difficulty of perfect execution is what makes it compelling, combined with the allure of getting to the top multiplier.

Anyway, my point was Yahtzee shamelessly fails to mention when he experiences proper and unique use of motion controls, like in Kirby's Epic Yarn and Flux and Beat.

Matrixbeast:
I don't watch episodes of ZP if it's a Wii game =/

But you still post about them?

samaugsch:

MB202:
Alright, so I didn't really expect anything different from a review of a game like this from a guy like Yahtzee, but one thing I do want to complain about was his portrayl of Kirby in this review. It sucks.

And I don't mean that in a "lol Kirby literally sucks up stuff" sort of way, I mean it's a lame representation of what Kirby's supposed to look like.

Yeah, he should've just drawn the head with the arms sticking out of that instead.

I know, but then again, I guess Yahtzee doesn't really care for Kirby. Oh well.

Mumrik:

Matrixbeast:
I don't watch episodes of ZP if it's a Wii game =/

But you still post about them?

Apparently I do.
Amazing.

I have to wonder how many people parroting Yahtzee's criticism of the game have actually played it themselves.

inorite

icame:
This game is honestly the only reason I want a wii. That and metroid prime trilogy.

I'll admit I didn't get into the latter 50% but this is an excellent game. If you just want to play a game and have fun it's your choice.

If you want to die over and over and replay the same section repeatedly, hundreds of thousands of other options for that too :).

CriticalGriffin:
I have to wonder how many people parroting Yahtzee's criticism of the game have actually played it themselves.

That would be 0% Mr. Griffin.

"You are closest without going over!" ;D

Art? Wow you know. If a game looks preatty 90% of the time that all it is. Think about it. with so many people tring to make their game look the preaties and the biggest ragedoll effect. They loose the abilty to make good stories and good gameplay mechanices. Look at Dragon Age 2. Total bomb. A game like that would not fly in the late 80's and earily 90's. Most of the best games where on the super nes. Why lack of graphics and physic. Meaning people need to make an epic awsome story. They needed great gameplay or their fans will leave. Like Yahtzee said. Doom and Painkiller where some of the best FPS ever made. I agrea. Why? Mindless killing fun. Not like the garbage we get called Call of Duty. Defently looking forward for Duke Nukem. Which IMO is the father of FPS. Sure Castle wolfenstine was the first FPS.

Duke was the first non Horrow FPS. That open the door to commidy. Action. I think you could use the mouse with it if you set it up correctly. Hell I think it was the first real shooter with muiltiplayer. Sure I know Doom 2 had MP but really no one played that cause it was buggy and badly made. I mean this was good MP from DK. It be nice if this new DK lives up to the past. Which will show younger gamers what a good game is.

Make a third "k" review and check out youtube. :D

man the last few games have been proper shit.

up next crysis 2. i wonder if he can crit it without saying cloak, spam or retards.

The part when the little monster was sitting on yahtzees lap was very very cute.

Yahtzee must of been in a hurry playing this (or is just shit). I was ~80% when I killed the end boss.

I'd also like to agree with other posts here, the ZP form of Kirby could've been so much better.

yahtzee really seems to hate the U.S.
and being an american, i must say; yahtzee is right to hate this place!!!

CriticalGriffin:
I have to wonder how many people parroting Yahtzee's criticism of the game have actually played it themselves.

I highly doubt it. But then again, that's what I find so ironic. The guy makes thought-provoking criticism and openly insults people who can't think for themselves, yet his biggest (or at least LOUDEST) fans are pretty much just that.

Gutterpunk:
Maybe, just maybe, you bought a game for kids? Wanna try Barbie Goes Riding A Horse next and tell us how there is nothing in it for you?

hi gutter, your assumptions offend me. I don't know if you're trying to be insulting, or are just misinformed.

Read this promotional interview with the game's designers.
http://us.wii.com/iwata_asks/kirbysepicyarn/vol1_page3.jsp

they weren't shitting out a game "for kids only." They put a lot of thought into challenging a variety of players, and haggled over the difficulty design. (but in my opinion they ultimately failed, and ended up sending a big fuck you to adults).

the idea that Nintendo would design a flagship game and only kids should play it... is baffling. ... Do you think pac-man is for kids only, because it is brightly colored with simple character design? Do you think Nintendo's skill at game development is best compared to barbie horse-riding cash in games?

"wow"

made me go back and play Kirby Superstar -- now that game was awesome. on the snes. when nintendo was still making games that weren't for children and bored housewives.

made me go back and play Kirby Superstar -- now that game was awesome. on the snes. when nintendo was still making games that weren't for children and bored housewives.

-edit-

urgh... triple post thanks to stupid rules update screen followed by captcha, sorry.

theultimateend:

CriticalGriffin:
I have to wonder how many people parroting Yahtzee's criticism of the game have actually played it themselves.

That would be 0% Mr. Griffin.

"You are closest without going over!" ;D

Sad part is, I sometimes feel like I'm starting to act like one of those people. Thankfully, there is one game that I particularly disagree with him on. In fact, I'm not sure if he even played through the whole thing (he probably barely passed Ryan Amusements before calling it quits). He also never mentions the Brute Splicers that were introduced. By now, you probably know what game I'm talking about, but just for the heck of it, I'm going to say I'm talking about Bioshock 2. I've notied that a lot of people complain about having more instances of "defending" a Little Sister when she's gathering. I don't know if they realize this, but the Little Sisters in the 2nd game can't get killed or even abducted by Splicers during those times and the only consequence for a Splicer getting to her is that she stops gathering until you get rid him/her off of her. In several cases, all you need is patience (in some instances, the gather took place under a security cam so all I had to do is sit in a corner somewhere and if a Splicer tries to grab her, the camera will go off and security bots will pump him/her full of lead). The only complaint that I have is that there's no way to restart the game so you can keep all your weapons and plasmids from the last level. I'm not saying that the fact that his opinion differs from mine bothers me. I'm just saying that I don't share all of his opinions. :P

samaugsch:

theultimateend:

CriticalGriffin:
I have to wonder how many people parroting Yahtzee's criticism of the game have actually played it themselves.

That would be 0% Mr. Griffin.

"You are closest without going over!" ;D

Sad part is, I sometimes feel like I'm starting to act like one of those people. Thankfully, there is one game that I particularly disagree with him on. In fact, I'm not sure if he even played through the whole thing (he probably barely passed Ryan Amusements before calling it quits). He also never mentions the Brute Splicers that were introduced. By now, you probably know what game I'm talking about, but just for the heck of it, I'm going to say I'm talking about Bioshock 2. I've notied that a lot of people complain about having more instances of "defending" a Little Sister when she's gathering. I don't know if they realize this, but the Little Sisters in the 2nd game can't get killed or even abducted by Splicers during those times and the only consequence for a Splicer getting to her is that she stops gathering until you get rid him/her off of her. In several cases, all you need is patience (in some instances, the gather took place under a security cam so all I had to do is sit in a corner somewhere and if a Splicer tries to grab her, the camera will go off and security bots will pump him/her full of lead). The only complaint that I have is that there's no way to restart the game so you can keep all your weapons and plasmids from the last level. I'm not saying that the fact that his opinion differs from mine bothers me. I'm just saying that I don't share all of his opinions. :P

If it helps you any I thought Bioshock 2 was exceptionally entertaining and the only part that really disappointed me was the ending.

It felt very empty. As if I had worked so hard for effectively nothing.

The little sister mini game parts were really fun for me. I'd just go batshit with the minigun and mow down every soul that came rushing in. Also turrets were deliciously evil.

Overall his criticisms for it bring me to your conclusion that his job didn't give him more than a few minutes to check it out. And frankly the first 10 minutes were pretty lame.

So yeah, B2 was nice. Not necessary B1 nice but it made me confident that I'll enjoy Bioshock Infinite.

jack583:
yahtzee really seems to hate the U.S.
and being an american, i must say; yahtzee is right to hate this place!!!

Most of America's problems are rooted in a VERY small group of people. About 12 or so people in the last 100 years have really shaped the underbelly of the country for the worse, yet it's the 300 million of the current population that get the blame (albeit a few of that dozen are still alive).

Ironically one of those people is German and goes by the name Fritz Haber. Course he could be happily prodded for being the root of MANY different problems :/.

theultimateend:
If it helps you any I thought Bioshock 2 was exceptionally entertaining and the only part that really disappointed me was the ending.

It felt very empty. As if I had worked so hard for effectively nothing.

The little sister mini game parts were really fun for me. I'd just go batshit with the minigun and mow down every soul that came rushing in. Also turrets were deliciously evil.

Overall his criticisms for it bring me to your conclusion that his job didn't give him more than a few minutes to check it out. And frankly the first 10 minutes were pretty lame.

So yeah, B2 was nice. Not necessary B1 nice but it made me confident that I'll enjoy Bioshock Infinite.

You forgot to mention that considering Kirby's standard attacks, this means that he sucks, blows and swallows.

SUCKS, BLOWS AND SWALLOWS.

Come on, man; this shit writes itself...

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