Unskippable: Front Mission Evolved

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"It is I, the Wanzerful Wizard of Woz. I have a speech winpediment."

Freakin'. Gold.

I was frankly shocked and appaled that Graham and Paul didn't make fun og that 'Dylan' fellow, since he's the most bro-ski bro who ever bro'd past the brochure.

Wanzers xD That hard to come up with a cool mech name that is not Gundam ehh?

I have to say that was a terrible cutscene, even by the almost impossibly low bar already set by those featured on Unskippable. Great job Double Helix!

captaincabbage:
I was frankly shocked and appaled that Graham and Paul didn't make fun og that 'Dylan' fellow, since he's the most bro-ski bro who ever bro'd past the brochure.

I hadn't noticed this. I then rewatched the video. My life ambition is now to find the closest approximation to Dylan in real life just to punch him in the side of the head.

emeraldrafael:
A space escalator...

How would that work? Especially at a 45 Degree Angle. you'd have to have support for it (since we obviously dont have hover technology in this game) and jet propulsion would be to costly and pointless. How much of the world would you be covering as you go in your straight line?

And to make matters even worse, you just know that some asshole is gonna stand there in front of you instead of walking up so it'll take like three times as long to get to space.

"Dillooooooooooooon! Like O-M-G W-T-F R U Doing w/ tha Wanzer?! Sasha is going to be sooooooooo P/O'd when she finds out you went to the Wanzer ball without her, ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

...

"BTW, if you're by the warzone later can you pick me up a smoothie? OH!!! Make that a Frozen Frapp! Half soy, half skim, three shots of espresso, the Wanzer schematics, whipped cream - make that half a shot of whipped cream - a dusting of cocoa... and with caramel! Hhhhhhhh!!!! Yum!!!!"

...

"And a pretzel. I want a pretzel, Dillon, because you so had to gank that Wanzer anyway, gosh!"

XMark:

emeraldrafael:
A space escalator...

How would that work? Especially at a 45 Degree Angle. you'd have to have support for it (since we obviously dont have hover technology in this game) and jet propulsion would be to costly and pointless. How much of the world would you be covering as you go in your straight line?

And to make matters even worse, you just know that some asshole is gonna stand there in front of you instead of walking up so it'll take like three times as long to get to space.

Isnt that the point of an escalator though?

Hazard12:
I have to say that was a terrible cutscene, even by the almost impossibly low bar already set by those featured on Unskippable. Great job Double Helix!

No, I'd say that Zoids one was way worse than this.

SelectivelyEvil13:
"Dillooooooooooooon! Like O-M-G W-T-F R U Doing w/ tha Wanzer?! Sasha is going to be sooooooooo P/O'd when she finds out you went to the Wanzer ball without her, ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

...

"BTW, if you're by the warzone later can you pick me up a smoothie? OH!!! Make that a Frozen Frapp! Half soy, half skim, three shots of espresso, the Wanzer schematics, whipped cream - make that half a shot of whipped cream - a dusting of cocoa... and with caramel! Hhhhhhhh!!!! Yum!!!!"

...

"And a pretzel. I want a pretzel, Dillon, because you so had to gank that Wanzer anyway, gosh!"

Ugh, I can't stand girls that talk like that!

Lonely Swordsman:
Wanzer is a goofy name but it's better than the alternative.
It's an abbreviation for "walking panzers". Imagine if they'd gone with just "walking tanks".

Gentlemen! We give you the "Walts"

Classic take on a classic JRPG cutscene. Been a while since I played a Front Mission so its heartening to see the cutscenes haven't improved.

A simple solution to that space escalator space problem: spirals.

sarttan:
Gentlemen! We give you the "Walts"

Damn, had a Dr. Weird quote on the tip of my tongue there.

As a fan of Front Mission, I got this game as soon as it came out fully knowing that I was diving into a vast sea of feces and peanut butter. After six long hours of muttering to myself that it was just like Armored Core and receiving weird and worried looks from my sister, I finished the game, went to Cold Stone and demanded enough ice cream to give me diabetes.

This video unearthed those sad, bitter memories even then I was laughing with enjoyment then slowly gradually turned into head-between-knees sobbing. Why!? Why, Square!? Release this junk into the US, but not Front Mission 5!?

...Anyways, I think the term, Wanzer, is no more odd of a name than Gundam and other numerous terms Japanese use for walking armored vechicles. It was the same for me, when I first started Front Mission games. It's something to get used to though I think the best term so far I've seen would be "mech."

lol! more?? you don't know how happy I am to hear that! :D

Man, I forgot about Front Mission. Kick-ass story on the first, second and third ones. I got really into those.

Clunks:
Wait a minute, wait a minute...Americans know about S-Club 7? Good god.

Glad I'm not the only person a little taken aback by that!

Wugh. More next week? Dear wod. See you then.

I'd ride a space Escalator :D Also, I've never played this game. It looks alot like Armored Core.

Agent Monocle:
As a fan of Front Mission, I got this game as soon as it came out fully knowing that I was diving into a vast sea of feces and peanut butter. After six long hours of muttering to myself that it was just like Armored Core and receiving weird and worried looks from my sister, I finished the game, went to Cold Stone and demanded enough ice cream to give me diabetes.

This video unearthed those sad, bitter memories even then I was laughing with enjoyment then slowly gradually turned into head-between-knees sobbing. Why!? Why, Square!? Release this junk into the US, but not Front Mission 5!?

...Anyways, I think the term, Wanzer, is no more odd of a name than Gundam and other numerous terms Japanese use for walking armored vechicles. It was the same for me, when I first started Front Mission games. It's something to get used to though I think the best term so far I've seen would be "mech."

Some good-doers patched the FM5 iso into english ;)

JonnWood:
Tell me "wanzer" is German or something. Please.

"The Nsrl."

Hey, I think use that shampoo!

Have to dissapoint you it's not german

It's really too bad they didn't pronounce Wanzers with the American pronunciation of Panzer, i.e. Wänzer.

Hilarious episode!

"Walking Panzer... Wanzer!"

"Sir, this only sounds like we're getting out of our way to make it sound ridiculous."

"Ok... ok... we'll go with your idea. Walking Tank... Wank!"

Really, how did you not get this joke in? It was almost begging for it.

Wow that woman's voice was a little hard to listen too.

love it!

Man, that cheer at the "real date". You sound soooo happy. Makes me smile every time.

It's also funny how you immediately came up with a "walking tank thing" when "Wanzer" pretty much means exactly that. I personally like the "Wanzer", but then again I'm not a native English speaker, this may play a role. It's short, iconic, and easy to remember. It doesn't feel forced. Also it is German, so mad science factor.

And Gundams are not "Gundams", of course, but "mobile suits", which is the very definition of a ridiculous name. Make of that what you will.

emeraldrafael:

MaximillionMiles:

emeraldrafael:
A space escalator...

How would that work? Especially at a 45 Degree Angle. you'd have to have support for it (since we obviously dont have hover technology in this game) and jet propulsion would be to costly and pointless. How much of the world would you be covering as you go in your straight line?

I think they meant space elevators. Those are a real possibility and many countries are trying to develop one right now. The main problem seems to be creating a cable that is strong enough to resist the tension. But about the support thing, if you managed to take the end of the elevator and put it in geostationary orbit then it wouldn't need to hover, it would keep floating around the planet like our moon.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_elevator

No no no. At the end, they said Space escalators are where its at.

EDIT:
I get the point of a space elevator, and thats a single shaft. all the support is under it.

Actually, "geostationary orbit" implies no support under it is required... it orbits (falls) around the earth, thus not requiring support, and it is geostationary (positioned in the same location relative to the surface of the earth)... things that make you go hrmmm...

spuddaemon:

emeraldrafael:
Snip

Actually, "geostationary orbit" implies no support under it is required... it orbits (falls) around the earth, thus not requiring support, and it is geostationary (positioned in the same location relative to the surface of the earth)... things that make you go hrmmm...

BUt how would you fight the effects of gravity once you got through the atmosphere without support. Do you know how crazy fast you have to get to keep it in the centrifuge (?) effect

emeraldrafael:

spuddaemon:

emeraldrafael:
Snip Snip

Snip

BUt how would you fight the effects of gravity once you got through the atmosphere without support. Do you know how crazy fast you have to get to keep it in the centrifuge (?) effect

What? What do you mean? Satellites "fall" around the earth all the time...

You position an object in orbit around the earth and it just keeps falling (that's what "in orbit" means)... but as you position it, you ensure that the direction it is falling is such that it is always above a fixed point on earth (just like TV satellites are)... then you can build your stairway to heaven and connect the two. :)

spuddaemon:

emeraldrafael:

spuddaemon:
Snip

BUt how would you fight the effects of gravity once you got through the atmosphere without support. Do you know how crazy fast you have to get to keep it in the centrifuge (?) effect

What? What do you mean? Satellites "fall" around the earth all the time...

You position an object in orbit around the earth and it just keeps falling (that's what "in orbit" means)... but as you position it, you ensure that the direction it is falling is such that it is always above a fixed point on earth (just like TV satellites are)... then you can build your stairway to heaven and connect the two. :)

I mean once it gets into earth's atmosphere. Do you know how much anchoring you need between just those two points before you go back to my main problem which is the support columns that will extend to earth.

Either that or you're gonna such a steep incline that you may as well be standing sideways like T on the stairs.

That ship at 1:45 looks just like Dagat Ahas from FM3.
P.S - Wanzer is a cool name!

Hehehe speech wimpedement made me laugh SO hard :D

Great episode.

Giant mechs that really want to be able to roller skate without having actual roller skates because that would be dumb. Take a shot.

Walking tank... METAL GEAR!

Lonely Swordsman:
Wanzer is a goofy name but it's better than the alternative.
It's an abbreviation for "walking panzers". Imagine if they'd gone with just "walking tanks".

Because the name would be short-handed to "wanks".

Oh I can see it now....
"Private Dick Johnson, of the 102nd Wanker Corps! At your service ma'am!"

The fate of the world in the hands of one snobby kid who thinks a mech compensates for his lack of professional training and one valley girl who didn't install a kill-switch in the case of such an event.

... We're so fucked.

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