Stolen Pixels #249: Division of Laborer

Stolen Pixels #249: Division of Laborer

Sometimes you just have to get your hands dirty, in more ways than one.

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Why does Isaac go up with this? he should to the shop steward of the Engineer's Union, because there's no way any of this crap is in his contract.

Excellent game idea. Please, Valve, make it.

I would play it.

Actually that sounds like a good idea. A third person puzzle game where you traverse deadly machinery to fix them. Even better if in zero gravity like DS2.

But like hell Valve should make it. The developers of Dead Space came up with it first(and surprisingly good) so they should do it..

InterAirplay:
Why does Isaac go up with this? he should to the shop steward of the Engineer's Union, because there's no way any of this crap is in his contract.

Heh. Well you do get looting and salvage rights. You might have to free those items from some chest cavities first, but that's still pretty decent hazard pay.

Personally, I want to know who designs all these big machines and places. Like the Black Mesa facility. Who on earth thought that would a be a great place to work and navigate?

To be fair, Staying in the safe area playing babysitter didn't exactly work out too well for Ellie either...

I'm sensing a gritty first person Professor Layton reboot ;)

She could at least make him a dam samwich!

InterAirplay:
Why does Isaac go up with this? he should to the shop steward of the Engineer's Union, because there's no way any of this crap is in his contract.

I want to see one of these protagonists scream "WHO BUILT THIS THING???"

Shamus Young:
But the parts of the game that did work for me were the sections where you had to climb around in the ridiculous machinery of the space station and make their bloodthirsty cogs turn. I think you could make an entire game around repairing incredibly hazardous equipment. Some sort of Portal-esque first-person puzzler.

I didn't play either Dead Space game, but that sounds amazing.

InterAirplay:
Why does Isaac go up with this? he should to the shop steward of the Engineer's Union, because there's no way any of this crap is in his contract.

And therein lies an idea for a thread/comic. You could have a protagonist meeting with Mario complaining about carnivorous plants in pipes and flighty women, Shepard moaning that death technically means that he is no longer part of the military, Ezio talking about how there certainly is a lot more (less?) murder in Italian banking and property management these days and so on.

But isn't this really EVERY survival horrer... scratch that, every shooter game ever? Open that door, plant that bomb, go on ahead, bring that back, work that machine, shoot that plane, find those mines, hunt him down, snipe him, fight that, press that button, find this room, use this device, and bring those shields down. I'll open that door over there then go look at porn while I wait.

jakefongloo:
But isn't this really EVERY survival horrer... scratch that, every shooter game ever? Open that door, plant that bomb, go on ahead, bring that back, work that machine, shoot that plane, find those mines, hunt him down, snipe him, fight that, press that button, find this room, use this device, and bring those shields down. I'll open that door over there then go look at porn while I wait.

Every game that gives you missions, is like this. Go save the universe while I stay here doing nothing and being useless.

Armored Prayer:
Actually that sounds like a good idea. A third person puzzle game where you traverse deadly machinery to fix them. Even better if in zero gravity like DS2.

But like hell Valve should make it. The developers of Dead Space came up with it first(and surprisingly good) so they should do it..

OOOOH! OOOOH!...and instead of a gun use an oil can to shoot out of reach gears! To add a "shooter" spin to it.

PS: was expecting more of Fallout New Vegas comedy, but happy to see Spoiler Warning is doing a new series about it. :)

Shamus Young:
Excuse me, I need to go look up the email for Gabe Newell.

If you listen closely you'll catch it.

OT: I loled, why does everyone get to take the safe route while I walk through the swamp of death xD

Wow, you're really getting into these comics again, aren't you?

I like that concept.. I feel really bad for Issac (spite that we, the Gamer plays as him) because he's always doing the hardest and most critical work put out there. The whole spaceship itself ticks me off, it's design is just waiting to kill you.. Haha. Nice comic of course.

All that is needed is for The Incredible Machine to be revived in full 3D graphics. With blood.

And boobs.

GiantRaven:
Personally, I want to know who designs all these big machines and places. Like the Black Mesa facility. Who on earth thought that would a be a great place to work and navigate?

I am inclined to agree with this. Even without resonance cascade scenarios occuring, the place doesn't seem safe.

"There was so much oozing and screaming, and so many spike-limbed monsters lurching about that it felt like a B-movie with above-average production values"

DAMN, SON! WE'RE BRINGING OUT THE BIG GUNS!

No but seriously, if you're going to make fun of something you should probably try harder than "It's totally like this thing its trying to be!"

Isaac Clarke:
This is bullshit. Why do I always have to do the nasty stuff?

'Cause you're the one with the suit.

Yeah, why do I have to do all the work?? ...you know, aside from the fact that it'd be a very boring game if I didn't.

*SPOILER ALERT (sort of)* Well, Ellie does get stabbed in the eye so I guess that makes up for the fact that she's generally f**king useless.

Any fear that there might of been is drastically reduced by the SHEER FUN of chopping monsters up and firing thier own arms back at them. I think that's why Isaac says things like' don't worry I'm going to climb to the top of the evisceration manifold and access the dismemberment grid.' He knows he wants more monsters to chop up, he craves it, as do I.

FINALLY! It's been so long since your last stolen pixel comic.

Issaic: dude i been through hell i dammed hazdered pay.
EU: Sorry not going to happen your just one small incedent.
Issaic: i didn't sign up for this shit i been neverly eaten alive by babies you know!
EU: Nothing i can do what do you meen by eaten alive by baby?
Issaic: FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU-
EU: Hello?
(sound of flesh being cut in half along with gunfire)
Issaic: This is what i mean!(holds up nercomoprh)
and now you know why issaic doesn't go to his union

InterAirplay:
Why does Isaac go up with this? he should to the shop steward of the Engineer's Union, because there's no way any of this crap is in his contract.

There's a very simple reason why:

Radio voice "Issac, you have to go to the Engineer's Union, this is getting too much! But to get there you'll need to go through the Hydroponics area, crawl through the ventilation ducts, get to Central control, repair the rail system AGAIN, take the train to Area 14, shortcut through the barracks, and you'll be there.

Oh, did I mention the air is getting poisoned because of something in the Hydroponics area, something organic has played merry hell with the rail system, the Central Control is one of the first areas to be infected, not to mention you'll be walking right through General Distrust's troops"

Isaac: "FUUUUUUuuuuuuu~"

*hours later*

Isaac: "Alright. I'm here. Where's everyone?"

Radio voice: "well, meet my friend"

Head of Engineer's Union: "Muhahahaha!! You've just done what I wanted you to do, pawn of my overly complex scheme!! I shall now..."

*gets eaten by necromorpth... boss monster appears*

Issac: "Gah, not again"

I guess you might have reasons and I thought I'd try to get used to it, but I'm not a fan of the new format, I can hardly see the images and in the end seem to be just reading the words and using my imagination for the images. I couldn't for instance, tell you from memory what the picture in todays comic is, but I could still tell you what most of the joke was and what your comment about the game was.

 

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