Zero Punctuation: Pokemon White

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Onyx Oblivion:

Falseprophet:

Onyx Oblivion:
Besides, "catching them all" is no longer viable...or even the point, really. It's all about competitive play, with the advent of wi-fi in D/P/P.

Pokemon is now the middle school version of COD and Halo?

Do you know what Pokemon REALLY is?

It's secretly the deepest competitive strategy game ever.

IT HAS TIER LISTS

http://www.smogon.com/dp/articles/intro_comp_pokemon

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah... wait you aren't kidding.

Yu-Gi-Oh! has tier lists too. That doesn't really indicate anything.

Yu-Gi-Oh! is still way better than pokemon actually. I don't know why it gets so much hate while pokemon doesn't.
Also, at least Yu-Gi-Oh! DOESN'T HAVE FUCKING LAND CARDS so I don't really see why MTG gets so much more respect than it either.

Onyx Oblivion:

image

The bane of Yahtzee's existence.

I hope you're happy, because I can't read three posts in these comments without running into a picture of an Emolga.

Unexpected title this week,but was very funny.

Great review.

Yeah, I've always wondered what happened to the education system in Pokemon.

wc alligator:

Yu-Gi-Oh! has tier lists too. That doesn't really indicate anything.

Seriously, bro, Pokemon has probably the most complicated mechanics of any turn-based game ever. Like, seriously, so many secret stats, random variables, it's ridiculous. And Yu-gi-oh has a pretty damn near-indecipherable rule-set.

I think there's nothing better than Pokémon to use as an example of everything I hate about JRPGs.

Tried to play it a couple times, got bored out of my skull before I even beat the first gym. When the average low-budget MMO offers the exact same gameplay with less battle transitions, something went terribly wrong somewhere.

Maclennan:
Heres the question he missed, what do the people in that world eat since every animal and most of the damn plants are pokemon?

I think a miltank would be quite tasty. Pikachu would probably be kind of stringy. They will probably resort to "iceberg lebtuce" soon.

Actually I think you would be shocked by the taste of Pikachu. To be honest though, I think it may actually taste quite good. Mice are small agile creatures and that means they need to have tender meat... not that I have ever eaten a mouse... or a Pikachu...

OT: I was surprised to see him review Pokemon, but man a great review. I think the game is good, but the Pokemon in it are pretty lame, I'll admit that, actually, I'll shout it out and defend that opinion, it's the lamest looking generation ever.

Heh, I'll be getting White, too. Even though the only games I played were Blue and the original Gold, but hey, they're calling B/W a good "jump back in" point, so that's what I'm doing.

I cracked up whenever he ragged on N, though. All the other big antagonist dudes from the other generations are always the typical nasty villain types, but from what I've gathered, N is more like some sort of nature-loving hippie who wants to be friends with everyone and tries to do so in exactly the wrong way and the whole ferris wheel bit in the video cements that image for me. I can't wait until I see for myself just exactly what he's talking about.

It is really like he said. The innovations over the generations of pokemon is lackluster at best. They added two new types from gen 1 to gen 2, okay pretty good. But since then its just been fluff and really making new combos. With probably 80% of the pokemon being useless in combat for serious players it limits that 600+ number down significantly to much fewer.
Still, I have played each generation (except this one) to date. I always tell myself that I wont buy the next generation and hopefully I wont this time. Pokemon is an RPG on training wheels in my opinion.

Loop Stricken:

Onyx Oblivion:
You got your game strategy thrown off by EMOLGA enough to complain about it? Pokemon wasn't EASY enough for you that a Gym Leader you COULDN'T sweep with one move is a negative point against it?

image

The bane of Yahtzee's existence.

Yeah but she had TWO of the little bastards! And they switched out every time they used whateverthefuck move it is she has.

Orwellian37:
I like how he complained about the effects that YOU CAN TURN OFF. I still like the games though.

I like how he complained that a function of a Japanese game works better in Japan. That's just crazy.

Also...it took him 3 times to beat N?

Yahtzee you are doing something wrong man, you gotta save more often, visit centers more frequently and spend your money efficiently on the correct potions based on your pokemon with the most hp!

I disagree with him, but I enjoyed the review.

Ace IV:

wc alligator:

Yu-Gi-Oh! has tier lists too. That doesn't really indicate anything.

Seriously, bro, Pokemon has probably the most complicated mechanics of any turn-based game ever. Like, seriously, so many secret stats, random variables, it's ridiculous. And Yu-gi-oh has a pretty damn near-indecipherable rule-set.

Civ 4 would like a word with you

I wanted him to review this and i am mad-uwhahahahahaahhooo...

How could a brit not understand tbc?

This was probably the funniest review you've done yet for some reason Yahtzee. I literally loved the part where you stated, "Making a sound like you slammed their tail into the car door-" Haha!! That was the best part because seriously, they do screech like someone just suddenly broke their limb or something, makes me feel weirded out.

Also I couldn't help but smile when Yahtzee explained how all the trainers brutally assult you whenever you get nearby because they are hostile with human contact. I always wondered about that, about why they just suddenly attack you without least talking for I find it rude that these trainers don't even give you a chance to deny their offer so I end up killing fainting their Pokemon.

Great episode overall, I got a great laugh out of all of this. Plus, honestly on my Gameqube I still play Pokemon games. Well, I can't stand the old ones because of the color tone flashing over the screen so I go with with the Ruby version of Pokemon and abuse everything with my Mudkip :) who I don't let it evolve because it'll just have mean eyes after lol.

God I've been waiting for this episode. Well done. Very funny.

Never thought I'd see the day, but why am I not surprised he's not into Pokemon.

Oh well, to each his own- I'll go back to my game now.
I'm trying my first Nuzlocke.

Ace IV:

wc alligator:

Yu-Gi-Oh! has tier lists too. That doesn't really indicate anything.

Seriously, bro, Pokemon has probably the most complicated mechanics of any turn-based game ever. Like, seriously, so many secret stats, random variables, it's ridiculous. And Yu-gi-oh has a pretty damn near-indecipherable rule-set.

Dude, if a game isn't telling you shit you need to know and throws random variables at you that's not a good game. I don't know how Yu-Gi-Oh! rules are now so I won't comment on this.

Onyx Oblivion:

Manji187:

Onyx Oblivion:
You got your game strategy thrown off by EMOLGA enough to complain about it? Pokemon wasn't EASY enough for you that a Gym Leader you COULDN'T sweep with one move is a negative point against it?

image

The bane of Yahtzee's existence.

Besides, "catching them all" is no longer viable...or even the point, really. It's all about competitive play, with the advent of wi-fi in D/P/P.

Heh...someone looks insulted.

What's the matter? Is Pokemon one of your favorite franchises? You have to admit that it's not for everyone. Same with a lot of other games/ activities.

Oh, I understand. I just hate the misinformation that Yahtzee can spread. Like how it hasn't changed in 15 years. Just because it's still turn based. The underlying mechanics have gone through quite a few changes.

He's the FOX News of game reviews.

That is a surprisingly apt comparison. Pokemon is the most deviously complex game I've come across. I tried multiplayer and got beatdown pretty hard (In the days before I knew what EV training was.) I'll just put 80 hours into single player like I usually do.

Onyx Oblivion:
From the infinite TM use of B/W, to the infinite item bag after R/B/Y's STUPID limit, to the addition of Abilites in Gen 3, The Special split in Gen 2, the Special/Physical MOVE split in Gen 4, and even the removal/addition of new HMs for world exploration, to the key item mapping for easy Bike use.

First off, I think we can agree the limitations of the item bag in the early games was simply that the games were older and storage space in the game itself was lower for data and such. It isn't really stupid, just unavoidable back in the old days (the 90's)

Second, I will say that while I'm hoping for White to start getting fun, I have (within the first couple of hours) manage to throw together a sizable list of things that bug me from unskippable tutorials, long "cutscenes", and even the lack of a running option from the word go. They even changed how running works so you can't just select the option on the touch screen like in HGSS games. Why did they take that step backwards when auto-running was just better. There shouldn't even be an option. Just autorun right away and solve the problem entirely. But I'm sure I'll find more to like and hate as I continue playing. :D

Huh... I'd have pegged this as a game he'd simply ignore...

HAHAHA Ben Yahtzee doing a Pokemon review? I didn't even watch it yet and I can already tell it's going to be hilarious!

Rofl, No doubt that emolga took everybody out the first time. You're a filthy liar if it didn't. Great review yahtz, funny as usual. Is there a FC section on escapist?

I want to know why some people think Pokemon is a super-complex game. Raising Pokemon is complex, but when it comes to battles between similarly-raised Pokemon it's just crossing fingers and hoping the other guy doesn't send out scissors when paper is in play.

You can buy repels and keep spraying the piss all over you if you don't want random encounters.
I keep a bucket full of those around.

randommaster:
You really should have picked up Pokemon Black, Yahtzee. It focuses on story rather than collecting a bunch of critters. At one point you have to choose whether to choose between your friend and your journey, with a branching story for each path. It's pretty much two entirely different games and it puts the Bioware writing staff to shame.

I'm sorry you had to get the wrong version to get back into what has become a great series.

What's the difference between White and Black? I'm pretty sure they're the same game, apart from a few version exclusives and White Forest/Black City.

That was a hilarious and mostly fair review. But you missed a key demographic that plays this game - The metagamers. And hoo boy you coulda had a field day on us. Over 650 types of pokemon and we try to guess which 6 of them will be thrown at us with which 4 moves and which of the 6 stats enhanced. And breeding competitive pokemon is about as entertaining as a good game of Desert Bus. And yet... we do it anyway. ;_;

RedEyesBlackGamer:
That is a surprisingly apt comparison. Pokemon is the most deviously complex game I've come across. I tried multiplayer and got beatdown pretty hard (In the days before I knew what EV training was.) I'll just put 80 hours into single player like I usually do.

I wouldn't say that. Sure, it has literally thousands upon thousands of different possible team combinations but the battles themselves are mundane at best. Setting up your team and trying to aclaim the best 6 is definitely something to work for, but considering how you can only have 1 move per turn, and 4 attacks per character, there's not much strategy you can do during the battles.

You can buy repels and keep spraying the piss all over you if you don't want random encounters.
I keep a bucket full of those around.

Jyggalag:
I wouldn't say that. Sure, it has literally thousands upon thousands of different possible team combinations but the battles themselves are mundane at best. Setting up your team and trying to aclaim the best 6 is definitely something to work for, but considering how you can only have 1 move per turn, and 4 attacks per character, there's not much strategy you can do during the battles.

Lol.
Just lol.
I can tell you never even tried.

jonyboy13:

Onyx Oblivion:

image

Is that a bloody flying Pikachu?

Great episode:D

Yep. We're screwed.

Nice. Finally someone actually puts some truth to Pokemon. I used to like it when I was a kid, but it really hasnt changed in years. Besides, the first couple of arcs where the best anyway.

This is how ive felt. Turn based was ok for the late 90's, but this is 2011 for heavens f-'s sake. Why couldnt they do it as more a real time fighting system, on a 3d plane? You could control the Pokemon you send out and you can move around too try and avoid damage, unstead of just standing still. The R/P/S style clashes with the show, Ive seen well trained Pokemon overcome the elemental barrier or at the very least put up a good fight.

You tell me Nintendo doenst have the vast piles of money to make a real time, 3d combat style Pokemon? Common.

Xman490:
After reading the latest Extra Punctuation, I saw this one coming.

Same here. Well, I knew he would take a number of shots but he does this to every game/series so I couldn't care less. He's Yahtzee and I'm me. Live and let live.

SO much truth. The only really inaccurate statement was that there's only one strategy. Oh, and any school has a million Pokeymans players, even colleges (but it was funnier since he just said middle school, being more specific to act like there were fewer crazy players to play with). Besides that, fuck yeah all the way.

What I still don't get about Pokemon even after playing a number of its games is why SIZE doesn't matter! Or makeup of a creature e.g. Onyx. I mean I beat Onyx, a giant rock snake thing, when I first played pokemon with a bird that must of been a thousand times smaller than it.

OT: Another great ZP which definitely reiterates the flaws of pokemon.

I'm actually surprised to see Yahtzee reviewing a Pokemon game.
Anyway, I'm of the opinion that Pokemon should've come to an end after Generation 2 or possibly 3. You know, quit while you're ahead. But no, big business isn't into that. ¬_¬

First guess why he hadn't until now: took kiddy
Second guess: its a franchise
Third guess: he had better things to do then to do what we ask

I never once thought it was because he didn't want to sound like he liked it.

wish we could have heard about how he felt about the plot, but ah well, shit happens.

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