Stolen Pixels #252: Tutorialized

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Outright Villainy:
"The guy"?

That was Bruce Campbell!

And yeah, those were awesome.

I'm not good at recognising voices, which isn't helped by the fact that I've only seen him playing minor parts in the Spiderman movies (and I only knew he starred in those by looking at his Wikipedia page). I don't watch that many B movies.

Paksenarrion:

Andronicus:
TAKE THE JAR OF PEANUT BUTTER! OPEN IT! OPEN IT!! STICK THAT KNIFE INTO THE PEANUT BUTTER JAR! LIFT OUT SOME OF THE PEANUT BUTTER ON THE KNIFE! PUSH THE PEANUT BUTTER AROUND THE SLICE OF BREAD WITH THE SIDE OF THE KNIFE! PUT THE KNIFE DOWN! EAT THE BREAD! EAT THE BREAD!! USE YOUR MOUTH, GODDAMIT! MASTICATE THAT BREAD!

Chertan:
GET INTO THE LAVATORY. HUSTLE! HUSTLE! OPEN THE LID. MY GRANDMOTHER COULD DO BETTER THAN THAT. NOW PULL DOWN YOUR PANTS AND SIT DOWN ON YER KESTER! NOW SHOW ME YOUR KILLFACE!

Cooking Instructor for the Wii: It senses your fear.

Cooking Mama: R. Lee Ermey edition

Stevepinto3:
Drill sergeant voices are 100 times better if imagined as the Soldier from TF2.

In fact, lots of things are better if heard through TF2 voices. Like my Calc teacher with the Heavy's accent.

"Alright cowards, you take function f(x) and the derivative is equal to g(x). What, can't do eet? Entire class is babies!"

Hehe, I couldn't help but to lol, you made my day good sir =)

OT: I knew from the start that it would suck hard, watching the full video of the first level on YouTube was more than enough to give me an idea of how the entire game would be and I definitely skipped all the other videos, in fact, I skipped the entire game.

lesterley:
When I see games like this I always wonder what the designers were thinking when the created the tutorial.

Do they have that little regard for their players?
Did THEY find the gameplay fun?
Were they watching "Regular Ordinary Swedish Mealtime" (http://youtu.be/0L40f39bPII) when they made the tutorial?

I actually did watch that as an example of what NOT to do when making a game tutorial, the tutorial I came up with (for a game I came up with) is much more relaxed, the game starts with the player character about to mug somebody (the PC is poor and desperate) only to find out that he's up against an army major, he is then captured and offered a chance to join a black ops group to avoid going to jail, all of this occurs in a cutscene, after which the tutorial begins...

Since the tutorial occurs in a secret military training facility the tutorial is rather relaxed and the player gets to go at their own pace, and mix things up a bit at some points, for example, the player can choose if they want more targets in the shooting range.

WHICH IS THE "A" BUTTON!?!

This is what I shout when the tutorials are so blatantly mind-numbingly obvious.

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