Portal 2 Review

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3 times as long as the first game, so 4.5 hours?

So what your saying is that this game was good enough for science, but not aperture science?

Alex Berry:

RedEyesBlackGamer:

dtthelegend:
whats with the "SCIENCE!" thing?

Dr. Insano, most likely. He helped turn SCIENCE! into a meme.

Let's not forget about Thomas Dolby.

Good heavens, Miss Sakamoto, you're beautiful!

OT: If he'd reviewed it on PC, I bet the loading times wouldn't have been an issue.

Paragon Fury:
Wait...so Portal 2 gets 4 stars, but DAII got 5 stars?

What the hell happened here?

Different person doing the review. That means different opinions.

rembrandtqeinstein:
3 times as long as the first game, so 4.5 hours?

I think he (Russ) went to sleep for the night... I really want to know a first hand account of the single player length too. That kinda determines if I buy the game new, or from a friend who bought it on PS3 for the free PC version.

Memo to the fans: Please don't come crying to me when the game doesn't live up to your impossible expectations.

You... played this on Xbox? Really?

Sober Thal:

Russ Pitts:
Portal 2 Review

The indie darling returns in a AAA sequel, but is it still good enough for science?

Read Full Article

Three times the originals length is vague. How long is the single player?

EDIT: Seriously, swear on your companion cube the single player is over 8 hours long. Please??

Well considering that it took me a little over 3 hours to beat the first Portal, and Russ says that each act is as long as the first Portal, I'm willing to bet that the single player is almost 10 hours long. But of course, it is a puzzle game, so it will take as long as how good each player is at solving the puzzles.

Wow that review came out fast for still being a great review! Puzzles aren't as challenging huh? Glados is offline too? Hmmmmmmmmmm Looks like lots of new features though, and a cool co-op mode where you each control a hand? What's that? Jonathan Coulton has a NEW song in this??

SOLD.

Pleaseusethezendrum,pleaeusethezendrum....

Load times virtually non-existent on a decent PC. So you can knock that negative off the list for the smart ones among us. :D

Metcarfre:
Queue immediate complaints that you 'didn't really play it' because this was the 360 version.

What ever, this is nothing. I am so exci ted about play ing Portal 2 with Move be cause that would be awe some.

/sarcastic deadpan voice

;p honestly, my friend got it (for 360) and I will be playing co-op with him in a day's time to see how the sequel measures up

Xzi:
Load times virtually non-existent on a decent PC. So you can knock that negative off the list for the smart ones among us. :D

well excuuuse me if I'm dumb cuz I only own a kinda old laptop that cries if I run anything modern lol

Russ Pitts:
Although the story is full of the same psychotic charm that made the original so much fun, it suffers from having too much game upon which to spread so little. ... But the interaction (or lack thereof) with a succession of disembodied voices wears out its welcome well before the end, leaving the puzzle platforming gameplay and ingenious new touches to carry the weight on their own.

Sir,
While I gather from this that the "soundtrack" became tedious, I otherwise find your review difficult to comprehend.

Paragraph one uses a metaphor, and extends that metaphor successfully. I strongly disagree with your choice of metaphor, but that happens.

Then there is paragraph six. "... too much game to spread so little." What?? What are we spreading? Is it too much game for too little psychotic charm? Or are we spreading fun around on the game? If its too much game and not enough fun, its perfectly acceptable to say that. We won't ridicule you for very long.

You go on to say "... leaving the puzzle platforming gameplay and ingenious new touches to carry the weight on their own." ... wait, what? I've missed something. Did you start a new metaphor? What is the weight in this metaphor? Was there supposed to be something else besides gameplay? If you're trying to say that "puzzle platform gameplay is carrying the weight of gameplay", then sure, I'll probably agree with you. At least until I can sort out whether or not "gameplay" was a metaphor for something else.

I installed the game to my 360, and it only takes about 5 seconds to load between levels.

duchaked:

Xzi:
Load times virtually non-existent on a decent PC. So you can knock that negative off the list for the smart ones among us. :D

well excuuuse me if I'm dumb cuz I only own a kinda old laptop that cries if I run anything modern lol

TBH I can't really count a healthy financial situation as an indicator of ones personal intelligence, I mean look at America... richest country in the world but one of the biggest gatherings of absolute idiots I have ever seen.
And since having an absolutely kickass gaming pc (which in gamer terms is simply "decent") is DIRECTLY tied to ones personal finance, unless that money was actually earned due to actually being some smart uni graduate in a kickass job earning tons of money to make a purchase of said PC actually viable I deem one who claims smartness for such a thing- unsmart indeed

Anyway regarding the review:

I am definitely interested now, I am glad to see that there has been more length added to the single player campaign, however if this transpires to be simple padding or artificial lengthening then I shall be upset, however I do not expect this from valve, my own personal disagreements with them aside, I know they are brilliant developers and a true industry leader, so I am more likely to give them the benefit of the doubt.

I am looking forward to giving the co-op a spin as it looks like the most fun part of the game, as it appears that we will actually be given characters to play, rather than some random blank slate, which is incidentally my biggest pet peeve with valve games, why are their protagonists silent? it really makes no sense, I have no interest in half life because of this one thing, it ruins the immersion for me. Anyway, I have digressed- yeah the co op looks incredibly entertaining, not just because of the characters (atlas and p-body look hilarious) but also due to the interesting idea of dual portals as you just know that is going to lead to reaction checks where one player has to launch one portal at just the right time mid jump to allow the other player to get further etc, so yeah colour me interested.

I have seen the hats thing and, as always, it seems strange to me, I like the idea behind it, however it just seems a little bit off, given that the player only very rarely sees his avatar in game, and only one other person at a time will see it either, it makes sense in multiplayer games where you have true character customisation, such as in halo: Reach, where you create your own individual identity which makes you identifiable in game, which is important in not only a tactical sense, but also for the simple sake of personalisation, whereas in Tf2 your character customisation is so hamstringed that the primary change is his headwear, and even then you are simply working within the bounds of what you have been given by the game, with very little room to breathe, so personalisation is out, as is the aforementioned tactical identification as noting what the heavy on the enemy team with the most kills has on his head gives little benefit when every heavy looks the same apart from their hat and the hat that is being used was a level 3 achievement so even the low ranking players have it and there could be 3 other heavies on the same team with the same hat, so the system doesn't make any sense to me at all.
But valve ARE geniuses so they probably know something I don't.

Thank Glados it didn't suck

The problem for "Portal 2" is that "Portal 1" did most of what you can do with the portal gun. It's like with "Half-life 2" Gravity gun, every game that came out after that, which had a gravity gun, everyone was already over it. And it's not like the game will be more fun with even harder puzzles, the best we can hope for is that the game has more personality.

I'm picking up my coppie as soon as the game-store opens, and I expect the game to be fun, with some really funny bits to it, the awesome I will save for Duck Nukem.

9_6:
You do not mention the tf2 hats that carry over into portal 2?

I... what... how... this.... sense.......... HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATS!!! I'm gonna get em all in Vintage too!

tombman888:

9_6:
You do not mention the tf2 hats that carry over into portal 2?

I... what... how... this.... sense.......... HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATS!!! I'm gonna get em all in Vintage too!

I'll take 10 for 8$ each :D

Been playing it, got to the second act... I should probably sleep though.

Sylocat:
Memo to the fans: Please don't come crying to me when the game doesn't live up to your impossible expectations.

Why would fans come crying to you? Just curious. Are you an authority on the matter?

OT: I expected it to be easier for more widespread accessibility coupled with the elongated distribution. I just hope that the single player is longer, the servers are strong, and the co-op is super fun.

Nautical Honors Society:
Why would fans come crying to you? Just curious. Are you an authority on the matter?

It's a paraphrased quote from Reddit's r/gaming.

But I can easily picture the fans bellyaching to anyone who will listen (and plenty of people who won't).

OutrageousEmu:

Metcarfre:
Queue immediate complaints that you 'didn't really play it' because this was the 360 version.

What, thats not a fair complaint?

What if a person haqd based their Orange Box review on the Ps3 version, would that still have been fair?

There's a known difference in quality between the 360 and Ps3 & PC versions of this game, so wouldn't that mean a seperate review would be appropriate?

Zenode:
I must ask, why review the 360 version of the game when its a primarily PC version, or even the new PS3 version to see how it stacks up?

OT: I expected the loading times thing because it happens with every Valve game

The PC version wouldn't have even unlocked until tonight. Valve sent out the 360 copy for review to get around that. Most reviews (at least, ones that coincide with launch) will be based around that.

So can someone explain to me the difference between PC and Xbox version? Cuz I've played Portal on 360 and seen it on PC and notice no difference.

Canadish:

Paragon Fury:
Wait...so Portal 2 gets 4 stars, but DAII got 5 stars?

What the hell happened here?

Money dear boy.
Valve doesn't strike me as the type of company to threaten/bribe a website for a good review.
EA does.

Otherwise, the footage looks nice, might pick this one up.
I'll have a look at a few more reviews first though. Not sure I can trust the Escapist anymore for honest reviews.

Or, in a less paranoid world, how about the two were reviewed by different people who have different opinions on things, and we accept that there is no grand unifying objective scale of game development and what one person loves another person might find tiresome and vice versa.

The Escapist has never sold a review score or review in its half-decade of life. We certainly don't plan to start now.

(And, for the record, I'm loving Portal 2. There's that subjectivity at work).

Well, I noticed the abundance of loading screens too. But I'm glad they aren't as long on the PC as they apparently are on the 360 version. They're probably there for 20 seconds max, and that might be exaggerating a bit (I didn't exactly time them). They don't last for minutes though, that's for sure.

Canadish:
Money dear boy.
Valve doesn't strike me as the type of company to threaten/bribe a website for a good review.
EA does.

Really. Did you just say that here? Take a look around; this isn't IGN or GameSpot. This is the Escapist. Now please wait there and think about what you've said while I warm up the neurotoxin get the cake.

Metcarfre:
Queue immediate complaints that you 'didn't really play it' because this was the 360 version.

To be fair, the reviewer seems to be reviewing the old one by reading the media rather than knowing anything about the game, so even playing a gimped version of this one is a step up. Indie darling? Like TF2 is an indie darling? Like HL2 is an indie darling?

Russ Pitts:
Portal 2 Review

The indie darling returns in a AAA sequel, but is it still good enough for science?

Read Full Article

You forgot to say it works on Macintosh as well in the "platforms", or do you see PC as Mac and Windows?

Anyhow, nice read. A shame that Portal 2 isn't as awesome as Portal 1, but then, you can't outdo absolute perfection. To bad my current machine can't run it.

John Funk:

OutrageousEmu:

Metcarfre:
Queue immediate complaints that you 'didn't really play it' because this was the 360 version.

What, thats not a fair complaint?

What if a person haqd based their Orange Box review on the Ps3 version, would that still have been fair?

There's a known difference in quality between the 360 and Ps3 & PC versions of this game, so wouldn't that mean a seperate review would be appropriate?

Zenode:
I must ask, why review the 360 version of the game when its a primarily PC version, or even the new PS3 version to see how it stacks up?

OT: I expected the loading times thing because it happens with every Valve game

The PC version wouldn't have even unlocked until tonight. Valve sent out the 360 copy for review to get around that. Most reviews (at least, ones that coincide with launch) will be based around that.

Didn't the PC version unlock about 3 hours ago? (still not enough time for a launch date review I guess)
It would have been interesting to see a PS3 comparison considering valve were bagging out the PS3 up until the Portal 2 announcement.

Maybe a future article relating to the differences in the future, because im still tossing up between the PS3 and PC versions?

John Funk:

Canadish:

Paragon Fury:
Wait...so Portal 2 gets 4 stars, but DAII got 5 stars?

What the hell happened here?

Money dear boy.
Valve doesn't strike me as the type of company to threaten/bribe a website for a good review.
EA does.

Otherwise, the footage looks nice, might pick this one up.
I'll have a look at a few more reviews first though. Not sure I can trust the Escapist anymore for honest reviews.

Or, in a less paranoid world, how about the two were reviewed by different people who have different opinions on things, and we accept that there is no grand unifying objective scale of game development and what one person loves another person might find tiresome and vice versa.

The Escapist has never sold a review score or review in its half-decade of life. We certainly don't plan to start now.

(And, for the record, I'm loving Portal 2. There's that subjectivity at work).

Oooooh but...but...we love conspiracy theories!
Edit: They make us feel smart.

Thedutchjelle:
You forgot to say it works on Macintosh as well in the "platforms", or do you see PC as Mac and Windows?

PC is Mac and Windows. PC is just an acronym for "personal computer", regardless of what Apple's terrible ad campaign tries to tell you. It was for YEARS before Apple started making those stupid commercials, and changing it just because they're snooty and only wait their computers to be referred to as "Macs" isn't going to fly (at least not with me).

Granted, I'm not in charge of the review. But if I was, that's what I would have meant by PC.

Zenode:
Maybe a future article relating to the differences in the future, because im still tossing up between the PS3 and PC versions?

If you have a PS3, get it on PS3. PS3 copies will let you also get a PC copy to play as well (you just have to link up your Steam account to your PSN account, which is apparently only done on a PS3).

Just be aware that you can't play co-op between the free PC copy and the PS3 copy, as they are both tied to your Steam account, and you can't log into it from your PS3 and PC at the same time.

John Funk:

Canadish:

Paragon Fury:
Wait...so Portal 2 gets 4 stars, but DAII got 5 stars?

What the hell happened here?

Money dear boy.
Valve doesn't strike me as the type of company to threaten/bribe a website for a good review.
EA does.

Otherwise, the footage looks nice, might pick this one up.
I'll have a look at a few more reviews first though. Not sure I can trust the Escapist anymore for honest reviews.

Or, in a less paranoid world, how about the two were reviewed by different people who have different opinions on things, and we accept that there is no grand unifying objective scale of game development and what one person loves another person might find tiresome and vice versa.

The Escapist has never sold a review score or review in its half-decade of life. We certainly don't plan to start now.

(And, for the record, I'm loving Portal 2. There's that subjectivity at work).

Lies and slander.

They bought you with a bagel and kind words. :/

And how dare you speak logic. Subjectivity is a nasty, vile word..... To Science.

It was a good review. And it was expected. And what I also expect once the sun comes up and everyone wakes up to read this, the thread will burst into flames because angry members of the Church of Freeman will be angry about two things:

1: It didn't get 5 stars. "Opinion" is a dirty word on the internet...

2: It was played on a console. They won't care if it was PS3 or 360, they will rage that it was on a console, period.

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