Zero Punctuation: Nintendo 3DS

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 NEXT
 

Fuckin' Jackpot!

Lawl.

I like the 3DS. I'm probably going to buy one at some point before the next handheld generation. But I totally agree with Yahtzee on at least one thing:

Having a platform that requires motion controls and the user to remain completely motionless simultaneously is a really, really poor design choice! lol

(Also this episode was hilarious. I actually laughed several times out loud, particularly when he started talking about running into groups of schoolchildren.)

Yahtzee always needs at least two weeks after a game's release to create a review, one week for playing, one for creating the video. No surprise then that Portal 2 didn't get reviewed this week.

I agree that the launch lineup is lame. My game of choice was Samurai Warriors Chronicles which reviewers appear to be allergic to. I like it but since Yahtzee is a reviewer it would likely cause internal bleeding for him.

Am I the only one who got the old zp reference in his little paragraph during the credits?

SSH!
NOBODY TELL YAHTZEE ABOUT THE WII 2!

C14N:
Good enough review but I can never understand Yahtzee's insistence that all the Zelda games are the same. The major home console releases change greatly from one game to the next, especially when put beside a series like Call of Duty or even GTA.

Ocarina was the first 3D one.

Majora's Mask had the "masks" thing and the "3 days" thing added so much to the depth of the game, especially for things like side quests. It wasn't just a time limit on dungeons like I had expected.

Wind Waker had a completely different art direction and overworld (lots of tiny islands with a few big ones instead of a field with a few towns). Once again, it totally changed the way of doing sidequests compared to MM or OoT.

An Twilight Princess, while looking a bit like OoT again in terms of art direction was still very much its own game. It was probably the most like a bigger OoT but there were still the wolf/twilight sections to add something new.

Even the plot changes greatly between the games when you look at it closer than "kid saves world, there's a princess in there somewher". I think Yahtzee just gets annoyed because the standard weapons (sword, bow, boomerang and bombs) show up in every one but even then, every game has introduced a few weapons/items of its own.

Not only the major console games, but almost every single entry in the franchise.

Yahtzee hatred for the "Zelda" series seems to come from somewhere else, because when you really look the games, that kind of claims he does about the franchise are pretty irrational.

Maybe because its a popular AND respected series?

When something you dislike is praised like that, you tend to hate it even more and your mind over exaggerates the flaws it sees.

Assassin Xaero:
Every time they have a success it is followed by a failure? Which was the last failure? I didn't think the Gamecube did that bad, especially with Metroid Prime.

Did we buy the same Gamecube?

But your kinda right. The gamecube only bad but wasn't awful until you compared it to how much fun you were haing on the ps2.

As for the 3DS, i think of it as an upgrade for the ds. I'm really only buying it because i want Pheonix vs Layton and the rest the the new games i would have been getting on the DS if it wasn't for the 3DS.

Heh, I also thought PilotWings was more of a bundle game :P
and also, hurray! Portal 2 review next week 8D

I wonder how long it'll take for someone to go out and make Senor Koquenfaes on their 3DS.
Hell, someone's probably already done it (excluding Yahtzee himself, of course).

LOL! Especially on the end-credit animation.

Toasty Virus:
It did seem like they rushed it out before...you know

ALL THE GOOD GAMES CAME OUT.

Because remember all those great games the first DS came out with...oh...

Actually I'd say the 3DS had a better launch.

I really didn't want Yahtzee to review this so early, it's not really accurate. By that mentality, the PS3 was the worst console ever because it had a terrible launch line up.

C14N:
Good enough review but I can never understand Yahtzee's insistence that all the Zelda games are the same. The major home console releases change greatly from one game to the next, especially when put beside a series like Call of Duty or even GTA.

Ocarina was the first 3D one.

Majora's Mask had the "masks" thing and the "3 days" thing added so much to the depth of the game, especially for things like side quests. It wasn't just a time limit on dungeons like I had expected.

Wind Waker had a completely different art direction and overworld (lots of tiny islands with a few big ones instead of a field with a few towns). Once again, it totally changed the way of doing sidequests compared to MM or OoT.

An Twilight Princess, while looking a bit like OoT again in terms of art direction was still very much its own game. It was probably the most like a bigger OoT but there were still the wolf/twilight sections to add something new.

Even the plot changes greatly between the games when you look at it closer than "kid saves world, there's a princess in there somewher". I think Yahtzee just gets annoyed because the standard weapons (sword, bow, boomerang and bombs) show up in every one but even then, every game has introduced a few weapons/items of its own.

One thing I'd say is art style doesn't count as keeping things fresh. If you pay full retail to see the new Pirates of The Caribbean and it turns out to just be the first one but everyone's wearing fake moustaches you'd be pretty pissed.

Man that having to keep your head completely still thing is such a bummer cause I don't stay still when I'm playing my games.

It's a nifty piece of hardware, sure, but I just wanted some good titles on it. Sadly, we're still in the aftermath of the Casual Schlock Revolution, where every title has to be a colorful collection of stupid minigames. (yes, it's a generalization, but fuck me if my Wii isn't the most useless electronic device I own right after my PSP)
Every other title of note are remakes. *Sigh*

Perhaps a new strategy game or something that doesn't require a dedicated 3D environment camera to play. Incidentally, the 3D effect gimmick is the part I care the least about.

Watching Yahtzee bitch about how much of a headache the 3D effect gives is amusing; it paints him as a pretentious masochist who is incapable of finding the little slider that turns the effect off.
Alternatively, I'm reminded of an analogous scene where a movie critic is bound to his seat by chains while the rest of the movie-going audience leaves in utter disgust.

Just one thing: while Majora's Mask has the same controls and playstyle of Ocarina of Time, and the same Young Link and copies of characters from Ocarina of Time, I'd like to say that everything else is completely different, as it stands along with The Adventure of Link as one of the black sheep of The Legend of Zelda series.

Haha, that was great. Pretty damn spot on too!

The 3d effect on this thing did make my head hurt when I played it so yeah, he's right about that one for damn sure.

Belive me I have been sitting in the big chair on planet "Nintendo is poo" before you Yahtzee.

DJDarque:

HankMan:
Fitting that the 3DS has such an in-depth critique.

You absolutely love making puns, don't you?

OT: Yeah, I wasn't impressed by the 3DS either.

We could just say his humor doesn't have many dimensions

I definitely agree with his diagnosis of Nintendo. It now sucks. First the gamecube,then the Wii and now a shitty handheld console that is more or less the same as an older one (that was shit).

I used to love Nintendo, they broke my heart.

Fucking Japanese bastards. Bring back the good games!

Yes the launch titles sucked and the 3d is meh. Street fighter is really good though and the over the shoulder view takes advantage of the 3d.

Nintendo really needs to take metroid back in house. Other M was a catastrophe.

The last tag by Yahtzee: "I will only be impressed by 3D when it can literally slap my face."

Like so?

Felt like filler for some reason. Maybe because he didn't say anymore than other people had already stated.

jawakiller:
I definitely agree with his diagnosis of Nintendo. It now sucks. First the gamecube,then the Wii and now a shitty handheld console that is more or less the same as an older one (that was shit).

I used to love Nintendo, they broke my heart.

Fucking Japanese bastards. Bring back the good games!

Where have you been the last decade?

How about them nintendogs, eh? :D

CopperBoom:
I worked with the 3DS using it daily for nearly a year and I never got headaches so it just depends on the person.

Games used to be *WAY* more 3D, so consider yourself protected.

3D films, 3D gaming, done it, no real problem, but 3DS really got at me. In any event, 3D doesn't do anything for me, experience wise, especially gaming (being colour-blind does not help, either...).

3D doesn't work properly on smaller TVs, so on a cell-phone sized screen it's abysmal, IMO. I don't like 3D even in movies that much, because I personally can't notice it too much, so it doesn't really alter the experience for me. So meh 3DS.

Your friend needs to accessorise =\

Plus why didn't you give any credit for picturing/inventing the Earth? VALVe did

I still have yet to pick up a game for my new 3DS, and yeah, I thought Nintendo was fucking up ever since the start of the Wii, can we share the big chair? Please? ......fine!

pepitko:
3D doesn't work properly on smaller TVs, so on a cell-phone sized screen it's abysmal, IMO. I don't like 3D even in movies that much, because I personally can't notice it too much, so it doesn't really alter the experience for me. So meh 3DS.

Totally different technologies, those "small TV's" don't use parralax barrier.

If you can't notice 3D in movie theaters, it's possible you're among the 10% or so of people who can't see 3D

I suppose, like many, I was expecting Portal 2, but this was enjoyable as well. Sadly, I was never interested in the 3DS (I think the whole "3D" trend needs to die off in all mediums everywhere), and this review did nothing but enforce that feeling ..... not that that's a bad thing! Cause I still had quite a laugh!

*clears throat* Whine-whine-whine-Portal 2-whine-whine-why didn't you review it-whine-whine-I'm entitled to it-whine-whine.

Holy shit? 60 bucks for that? More like 6 bucks. What the heck.

lol So much truth and so much hilarity all in one video. And let me say that I particularly loved the jab at Nintendo for simply remaking OoT over and over (and over) again.

Dana22:
"The thing about 3D is that I stopped noticing it until it fucks"

Well that only means it works as intended, right ?

This! The fact that he DIDN'T NOTICE IT until it fucked up meant that Nintendo is DOING 3D PROPERLY.

3D that just makes objects jump out at you is terrible, and destroys immersion. 3D that gives games a sense of depth - as well as letting materials appear more realistic because of said depth - are how it's supposed to done. And the thing about that sort of 3D is that you don't notice it if it's working as intended.

3D does more for gaming then motion control. What I mean by that is it helps games, particularly Nintendo games, when you can actually tell how far away something is rather then imagining it. I was quite surprised how different it was playing Pilot Wings on a 3Ds vs. wii sports resort on a wii. It was like the first jump to the third dimension games made during the era of the PS1/N64/Saturn. I am very excited to play Zelda/StarFox/Mario on this thing. Just for the record, I hated the wii, and never saw a bright future for it, but hopefully things will go well for this hand-held.

Also, a new console is only as good as it's launch list? So tell me, what decent games came out with the Xbox 360/PS2 when they launched?

1) I think it's a bit too early to make judgments based on release titles.

2) This was the funniest ZP in a long time I laughed out loud quite a bit.

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Registered for a free account here