Zero Punctuation: Nintendo 3DS

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I wonder who are the lucky gits who got his Mii?

Holy crap, 3DS games are $60? That's... that's too much.

wait a minute . . . THIS ISN'T PORTAL 2 !

You know that pilot wings was a game for the SNES, right? and the jetpack was unbearable to control then too.

I've said it before, but the 3D was really not the best thing for Nintendo. The 3DS itself is a great system with a vast amount of potential, albeit currently untapped. It's just that the dialogue surrounding the device is almost exclusively centered around the 3D. People just can't see past it for some reason. And while that isn't entirely bad from a marketing perspective, it remains that the 3D itself is a mixed bag and to many underwhelming.

It's unfortunate that this seems to draw attention away from the fact that it is still the DS 2. It is still the next generation handheld, powerful and and waiting to show off. I can't help but think it would have been better off dropping the 3D and just being the DS 2, plain and simple. Of course, an Xbox 360 playing Halo 1 isn't very impressive, and likewise the 3DS has nothing to show for what it is. Yahtzee is entirely correct about the current titles being horrible, but the system will come into its stride.

Three things that will redeem the 3DS.

Final Fantasy V 3DS.

Final Fantasy VI 3DS.

and best of all:

Cave Story 3DS.

Wow, this video had very little substantial criticism.

And I have a feeling he won't be as head over heels for Portal 2 as everybody seems to think he'll be.

Seems to be some confusion about the price of 3ds games. To clarify, they are $40 USD.

I found the jetpack easier to maneuver than the other 2 vehicles after about an hour of practice. To say it handles badly is asinine- you simply are a bad driver.

And I'll say it for about the 1000th time- The Zelda games have more variety between them than just about any major videogame franchise in history. Exactly how can he review about 30 games from this generation that are the exact same concept (shooters) then rip on Zelda for being unoriginal is beyond me.

Oh and the streetpass feature works fine. I don't know what he's going on about during that segment.

40 USD is the price of some DS games (ex Pokemon HG/SS) so that's not so bad.

I still say Cave Story 3DS is going to kick ass. I don't have a 3DS yet, that's what I'm waiting on.

true, less in-depth criticism in this vid than others, but I LLOL'd (litterally LOL'd) with Seņor Koquonfaes and everything that followed. brilliant piece of toilet humour, and probably the only time paedophilia has been made fun of in an adequately funny way. so yeah, all good. :D

oh, and OMG CAVE STORY 3D YESSS that would be awesome

Awesome video! The "Koquonfaes" and kids parts made me to laugh but I held it back so I giggled instead, which made some people look at me like if I were high.

For me any handheld is "utter bollocks". Why? Because I have no interest in them at all and there's no single game I find interesting. I also like to do other things than stare at a screen when not sitting at my computer.

Hell, I barely even watch TV so I have no idea what's even going on in that TV world. Looking forward to Portal 2 next week!

DanDeFool:
And this whole 3DS thing is triple-y lame because now Mega Man Legends 3 is going to be cancelled (probably) due to the fact that nobody wants to buy this gimmicky piece of crap.

For my part, Nintendo has been sliding steadily downhill ever since they decided to release the N64 with a cartridge slot instead of a CD-ROM drive.

People are buying it...

OhJohnNo:
Portal 2 should be an interesting review - "Hey! Let's see how much I can praise this game without losing my fanbase!"

The thing is, the game really does deserve it. Portal 2 is easily my GoTY and they're going to have to try hard to knock it down from its rightful throne.

yeah...Very much disliked the whole webby popup its actually the video you better wait till it loads since your not a subscriber and the site is generally slow with all its ad's no don't close the window because you cant get the video to load in the main page just wait dammit.
just for that you are out of my consideration for webby award voting escapist *actually I was never going to sign up for an account on an aol website anyways*

Quizza:

Someone's butthurt

Butthurt? No. Just tired of Yahtzee forcing the same elitist viewpoint into every Nintendo related review and people not seeing how much of biased drunkard he really is. I will admit right now that Nintendo does make mistakes (The Virtual Boy, the GC Bongo Controller and E3'08. There I just gave you 3 examples in which they fucked up) but I do not watch Yahtzee to act basically like the Seth McFarland of game critics which is basically what he's acting like every time he's reviewed something from Nintendo.

Yahtzee just wondering

did you remember to turn on the WIFI when using street pass?

Assassin Xaero:
Every time they have a success it is followed by a failure? Which was the last failure? I didn't think the Gamecube did that bad, especially with Metroid Prime.

Well, the GameCube did do terrible, I think it was a good console, but worldwide it was a flop beeaten by everything but DreamCast.

Great review, though I actually like the 3DS.

HankMan:
Fitting that the 3DS has such an in-depth critique.

Whats with you and puns lately?

Lordofthesuplex:

Quizza:

Someone's butthurt

Butthurt? No. Just tired of Yahtzee forcing the same elitist viewpoint into every Nintendo related review and people not seeing how much of biased drunkard he really is. I will admit right now that Nintendo does make mistakes (The Virtual Boy, the GC Bongo Controller and E3'08. There I just gave you 3 examples in which they fucked up) but I do not watch Yahtzee to act basically like the Seth McFarland of game critics which is basically what he's acting like every time he's reviewed something from Nintendo.

You can get a cream for that, you know.

I was considering getting one of these too...I feel like Yahtzee hit the nail on the head.

yes Yahtzee, let's foresee doom after the thing has only been out for two months. His bizarre vendetta once again continues

Lordofthesuplex:

Butthurt? No. Just tired of Yahtzee forcing the same elitist viewpoint into every Nintendo related review and people not seeing how much of biased drunkard he really is. I will admit right now that Nintendo does make mistakes (The Virtual Boy, the GC Bongo Controller and E3'08. There I just gave you 3 examples in which they fucked up) but I do not watch Yahtzee to act basically like the Seth McFarland of game critics which is basically what he's acting like every time he's reviewed something from Nintendo.

That's actually how I'm feeling. His material regarding Nintendo is just, well, STALE at best. Thing is Nintendo's going to have the last laugh with him anyway.

Portal 2's review will be about Load Screens and Puzzle Difficulty (or the lack thereof).
That'll probably be it though.

Korten12:

HankMan:
Fitting that the 3DS has such an in-depth critique.

Whats with you and puns lately?

What can I say?
It's fun to write them.

Electrogecko:
Seems to be some confusion about the price of 3ds games. To clarify, they are $40 USD.

I found the jetpack easier to maneuver than the other 2 vehicles after about an hour of practice. To say it handles badly is asinine- you simply are a bad driver.

And I'll say it for about the 1000th time- The Zelda games have more variety between them than just about any major videogame franchise in history. Exactly how can he review about 30 games from this generation that are the exact same concept (shooters) then rip on Zelda for being unoriginal is beyond me.

Oh and the streetpass feature works fine. I don't know what he's going on about during that segment.

A: He didn't say that all Zelda games are the same, but that Ocarina of Time has been released on every console following a different Zelda release. Ocarina of Time was bundles with Wind Waker, and released on the virtual console.
B: He constantly rips on shooters for being generic, gritty, boring and often cover based.

He's not the only one who's had problems with Streepass either.

PixelKing:
Am I the only one who got the old zp reference in his little paragraph during the credits?

I certainly didn't get it(though I laughed at that part harder than any other). Enlighten me.

"Shouldn't the sky be behind the sea?" That was my favorite part of this whole episode. I simply loved it because if you have the sky in 3D but not the sea itself, it's just going to look weird period. I also tried out the 3DS- It was good but you actually do have to look at a certain angle holding still when it's also motion sensored. The head brace would be a useful yet really odd invention. Great review overall!! But, I wish to include something:

I noticed something about Yahtzee though- he simply seems to be against a lot of companies that makes games and yet he plays them in order to review them. That seems ironic to me, because we love games so much and yet the companies we buy them for seem to rip us off or always doing something that is dislikable. It could be just me, but.. Yahtzee makes good points about Nintendo. They always seem to repeat games constantly without even removing the landscapes or story really- but yet people buy them anyways. ..I'm just baffled by it.

P.S: Also, they release a console that seems to already have flaws to it. I mean, instead of improving the Wii and working on the 3DS longer so that good games can come out at the same time- they just release it and hope it gets going with selling out. I believe they're trying so hard to beat other consoles or PC developments that they aren't really concerned with the Gamers but yet trying to impress us with these quick-paced deals. I don't like that ideal, they should take their time. You can't rush art, nor making something.. so why Nintendo?

DoctorPhil:

PixelKing:
Am I the only one who got the old zp reference in his little paragraph during the credits?

I certainly didn't get it(though I laughed at that part harder than any other). Enlighten me.

Gareth Gobblecock was his character in a mmo he reviewed when he first got the job, he apparently gave him bright pink armour. I think the game was called tabusa something.

Lordofthesuplex:

Quizza:

Someone's butthurt

Butthurt? No. Just tired of Yahtzee forcing the same elitist viewpoint into every Nintendo related review and people not seeing how much of biased drunkard he really is. I will admit right now that Nintendo does make mistakes (The Virtual Boy, the GC Bongo Controller and E3'08. There I just gave you 3 examples in which they fucked up) but I do not watch Yahtzee to act basically like the Seth McFarland of game critics which is basically what he's acting like every time he's reviewed something from Nintendo.

It's meant to be taken with a grain of salt. I'm kind of a Nintendo fanboy but I can laugh about it because there's a core of truth in there. Don't take it too seriously. He's only trying to entertain us, he's not trying to be an uber witty bawler.

PixelKing:

DoctorPhil:

PixelKing:
Am I the only one who got the old zp reference in his little paragraph during the credits?

I certainly didn't get it(though I laughed at that part harder than any other). Enlighten me.

Gareth Gobblecock was his character in a mmo he reviewed when he first got the job, he apparently gave him bright pink armour. I think the game was called tabusa something.

Thanks. I'll look it up sometime, sounds like fun.

Yopaz:

Electrogecko:
Seems to be some confusion about the price of 3ds games. To clarify, they are $40 USD.

I found the jetpack easier to maneuver than the other 2 vehicles after about an hour of practice. To say it handles badly is asinine- you simply are a bad driver.

And I'll say it for about the 1000th time- The Zelda games have more variety between them than just about any major videogame franchise in history. Exactly how can he review about 30 games from this generation that are the exact same concept (shooters) then rip on Zelda for being unoriginal is beyond me.

Oh and the streetpass feature works fine. I don't know what he's going on about during that segment.

A: He didn't say that all Zelda games are the same, but that Ocarina of Time has been released on every console following a different Zelda release. Ocarina of Time was bundles with Wind Waker, and released on the virtual console.
B: He constantly rips on shooters for being generic, gritty, boring and often cover based.

He's not the only one who's had problems with Streepass either.

You're right. He didn't say all Zelda games are the same. He said they're all Ocarina of Time. He didn't touch on the fact that OOT has been released on multiple consoles.

And the cover system is one of the biggest innovations the shooter got this generation. The fact that he rips on it is pretty narrow-minded, but my point remains that he uses this "Nintendo rehashes everything" as the crux of all his anti-Nintendo arguments (along with way too many users of the Escapist) when they are in no way deserving that criticism.

I think there's confusion over the initial setup of Streetpass and the requirements for it to initiate, but neither me nor anybody I know that owns the system has had any trouble with it (not that I've heard of anyway) and I just don't think it's a legitimate criticism. It's not rocket science- you have to have streetpass enabled for w/e titles you want, your wireless switch needs to be on, and it needs to be in sleep mode. (closed w/o being shut down)

I think people put waaaaay too much faith in Yahtzee's words. I'm sure the man is well aware that several of his points are bullshit and there for comedic effect, but the majority of his viewers don't seem to understand this.

no Portal 2?
does this mean he think,s it,s perfect? (he said he really like Portal and Portal improves on the things he likes.)

deadbeat503:
Ya, the 3DS release was kind of underwhelming.

That's the understatement of the year. THE only thing hyping up the 3DS is the Megaman Legends 3: Prologue game, which is being released via the 3DS shop when it starts in May whenever. That's like... $2-3 to justify a $250 brick, that can't handle DS games worth crap at that. My fat DS is still working so no reason to drop it.

And Yahtzee, can I join you on the planet now please? I've been facepalming for Nintendo since they changed the original name of the system to the "Wii", and I always get stopped at the gate by a space monkey. Is it because my dad bought a Wii and I played a game or two with him of Wii Sports to be nice?

Lordofthesuplex:

Quizza:

Someone's butthurt

Butthurt? No. Just tired of Yahtzee forcing the same elitist viewpoint into every Nintendo related review and people not seeing how much of biased drunkard he really is. I will admit right now that Nintendo does make mistakes (The Virtual Boy, the GC Bongo Controller and E3'08. There I just gave you 3 examples in which they fucked up) but I do not watch Yahtzee to act basically like the Seth McFarland of game critics which is basically what he's acting like every time he's reviewed something from Nintendo.

Whenever someone is, inarguably, smart and he offends you; call him an elitist!
ALWAYS!

(Seriously, people say the same shit to the Escapist's community, but it doesn't make it true.

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