Zero Punctuation: Nintendo 3DS

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when does he say portal 2 review next week

never mind lol in the credits. senor koquonfaes was hilarious

@JackSparrowSucks You're insulting his integrity now? way to lose an argument.

Enlong:

DoctorPhil:
Can't remember the last time I saw such a funny ZP.

Really?

I mean, it was OK, but as someone else said, his Nintendo-based reviews are becoming kinda predictable. It's always "Nintendo is cashing in on weak stuff when it's not failing hard", "Motion Controls are a dying breed", "sequels are horrible", "HAHAHA Zelda", "I'll be proven right" in some order.

I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't biased, but I kinda prefer ones where he's not banging on about Nintendo. Because, whether I agree with them or not, they're more funny.

Pretty much this.
His Nintendo related reviews are so predictable and old now that they're not funny anymore, hell, if they ever were. After being on here for so long, the hate towards Nintendo kinda makes any "criticism" towards them seem like a religious chant. Step into a thread and recite ten "Hail HD," three "Glory be to the DLC," two "Our Achievements," and one "FPS' Creed."

Electrogecko:

Yopaz:

Electrogecko:
Seems to be some confusion about the price of 3ds games. To clarify, they are $40 USD.

I found the jetpack easier to maneuver than the other 2 vehicles after about an hour of practice. To say it handles badly is asinine- you simply are a bad driver.

And I'll say it for about the 1000th time- The Zelda games have more variety between them than just about any major videogame franchise in history. Exactly how can he review about 30 games from this generation that are the exact same concept (shooters) then rip on Zelda for being unoriginal is beyond me.

Oh and the streetpass feature works fine. I don't know what he's going on about during that segment.

A: He didn't say that all Zelda games are the same, but that Ocarina of Time has been released on every console following a different Zelda release. Ocarina of Time was bundles with Wind Waker, and released on the virtual console.
B: He constantly rips on shooters for being generic, gritty, boring and often cover based.

He's not the only one who's had problems with Streepass either.

You're right. He didn't say all Zelda games are the same. He said they're all Ocarina of Time. He didn't touch on the fact that OOT has been released on multiple consoles.

And the cover system is one of the biggest innovations the shooter got this generation. The fact that he rips on it is pretty narrow-minded, but my point remains that he uses this "Nintendo rehashes everything" as the crux of all his anti-Nintendo arguments (along with way too many users of the Escapist) when they are in no way deserving that criticism.

I think there's confusion over the initial setup of Streetpass and the requirements for it to initiate, but neither me nor anybody I know that owns the system has had any trouble with it (not that I've heard of anyway) and I just don't think it's a legitimate criticism. It's not rocket science- you have to have streetpass enabled for w/e titles you want, your wireless switch needs to be on, and it needs to be in sleep mode. (closed w/o being shut down)

I think people put waaaaay too much faith in Yahtzee's words. I'm sure the man is well aware that several of his points are bullshit and there for comedic effect, but the majority of his viewers don't seem to understand this.

OK, I see was wrong with Zelda, and you are right when you say he gives unfair criticism that isn't meant to be taken seriously, but is. Really, I love the 3DS, but he does have several valid points here.
I also mentioned the fact that he complains about cover based shooting because you said he NEVER complains about shooters, when he complains about just about everything. There are actually quite few games he doesn't complain about. You seem to want to disagree with him which makes you just as bad as anyone who wants to agree with him. I agree with him when he makes a valid point, that doesn't mean I share his opinion.
Also, one more question. How is hiding behind a cover, getting up to shoot, hiding, waiting for your health to regenerate, then repeat the process the biggest innovation? You could hide behind covers in Half-Life, that's not a new game.
Also, how stupid do you think I am? Of course I carry the 3DS in sleep mode while walking around in places where there should be someone else with a 3DS while having wi-fi turned on. Having IQ over 80 I understood this as soon as I understood there was something called Streetpass on the thing. It gives you a tutorial that explains everything to you in so much details that you would have to be an idiot not to understand it.

Bleh, 3D. The most useless gimmick since "smell-o-rama". At least in its current state. Not to mention all those migraines a certain percentage of the population get just by watching it.

The first and last 3D movie I ever saw was "Avatar" and it was supposed to have the best 3D around, yet it actually wasn't that good, not to mention the movie was as good as a monkey's arse.

I am yet to play a 3D game though, since I am an Nvidia hater and thus an ATI (now AMD, Intel beats it in the CPU department though) fanboy. Still even if I were an Nvidia fanboy I would still give 3D a pass, since I absolutely despise those retarded 3D glasses! But seeing how looking at the same spot from the same distance is not that much of an improvement, who gives a monkey's arse about it?

Still, I might reconsider on two conditions. First: no stupid 3D glasses! And second: being able to experience 3D from a wide variety angles and at a reasonable distance. The first one is already realized by Nintendo. And the second one probably wouldn't be that hard to engineer: all you need is a sensor badge that calibrates 3D on the fly relative to your position. Well of course it would be hard to engineer, but my idea might be worth looking into, and I'm not even an engineer. That idea has one serious drawback though, only you would be able to enjoy that 3D and a spectator behind your back would only see a pixelated smoothie. But for us gamers it's not that important, especially not for DS users.

I have one and I like it a lot. I don't know what the headache talk is about, I've played Samurai Warriors: Chronicles for over an hour (to finish one level, you know how that goes with that game, lol) and never had any eye strain, so maybe it's a "happens to certain people but not everyone" thing.

And, what the hell, Australia? $60 for Pilotwings? EVERY game in the states is $40.

*thumps fist on desk*

PORRRRRTAAAAAAL
...twooooo

Why the hell are people complaining about the 3D? Not only can you turn it off, you can adjust it so it won't cause headaches nearly as often.

Oh wait, I forgot. This is The Escapist. Ignore my previous statement because it actually makes sense, and sense has no place here.

What the hell did these guys get put on probation for?

OT: Nothing other than the obvious.

I'll buy a 3DS when some good games come out for it.

Worgen:
it was rushed out a bit quick, Im annoyed the online store isnt even up yet but its launch titles are about as good as any system launch, almost no modern system has launched with a strong line up of games

The 360 launched with Need for Speed: Underground, which was one of the best in the series, Perfect Dark: Zero, which was decent until you tried multiplayer, and Oblivion. I don't know if I missed anything else, but that's a pretty decent line up.

Ddgafd:
Why the hell are people complaining about the 3D? Not only can you turn it off, you can adjust it so it won't cause headaches nearly as often.

Oh wait, I forgot. This is The Escapist. Ignore my previous statement because it actually makes sense, and sense has no place here.

I was actually hinting at the 3D in the movie theaters in the first half of my post. You can't turn it off there, obviously. And if 3D one day dominates the theaters, it won't be pleasant for the folks suffering from migraines. That problem isn't as uncommon as you think. Besides, you usually go see a movie in a group, what if the only one suffering from migraines is you? Then either you have to suffer, or others that want to watch a 3D version will have to settle for 2D. That creates quite a dilemma, and it will ultimately alienate people suffering from 3D migraines. Here you go, sense on the Escapist is not against the law.

And what's with all the adjust part? "Nearly as often"? Something that's supposed to be fun (a game for example) isn't supposed to cause migraines, period. Does a migraine seem like much fun to you?

- Beware, this might be a statement of the obvious -
Most of your reviews are fun because you point out those little (sometimes a bit bigger) awkward mistakes made in a sarcastic way. In this case it's somehow very sad, because those are the huge horrible mistakes defining the 3DS.
I'm fascinated by the technology and the possibilities... maybe... someday... but the state of the art is "meh"

Ddgafd:
Why the hell are people complaining about the 3D? Not only can you turn it off, you can adjust it so it won't cause headaches nearly as often.

Oh wait, I forgot. This is The Escapist. Ignore my previous statement because it actually makes sense, and sense has no place here.

Main selling point of product can be turned off. Why complain? It's brilliant! Kinda like all the best wii games pretty much ignore the motion controls.

Make a gimmick, then have to work around it. Why haven't Microsoft and Sony tried thi-- oh wait...

siNwrath:

DanDeFool:
And this whole 3DS thing is triple-y lame because now Mega Man Legends 3 is going to be cancelled (probably) due to the fact that nobody wants to buy this gimmicky piece of crap.

For my part, Nintendo has been sliding steadily downhill ever since they decided to release the N64 with a cartridge slot instead of a CD-ROM drive.

People are buying it...

Yes. Yes they are.

Apparently, I'm in denial, as I usually am every time a new game system comes out and people line up for hours to be the first ones to buy it, in spite of the fact that it makes no goddamn sense to do so, especially with as pathetic a launch lineup as the 3DS has.

But then again, objective reality does not have to make sense to me.

I suppose it would have been more accurate to say, "Mega Man Legends 3 is going to be cancelled because its continuation hinges on the success of a marketing ploy to push a feature that not many people will use on a system that there is virtually no good reason to own at this point, both because it is a gimmicky piece of crap, and because it barely has any games available for it, let alone any good ones."

Is that better?

Everytime i click on the video, just the advertisement shows up. Maybe i am just an idiot but can somebody help me?

Absolutely hilarious, especially the part with you waking past the kids and leaving deposits in their trousers.

Ddgafd:
Why the hell are people complaining about the 3D? Not only can you turn it off, you can adjust it so it won't cause headaches nearly as often.

Oh wait, I forgot. This is The Escapist. Ignore my previous statement because it actually makes sense, and sense has no place here.

because we still need to PAY FOR IT. and paying for things that dont work is stupid.

It seems like the ONLY thing he cared about was the 3D and StreetPass. There are many upcoming titles that aren't tech demos or ports, so give it a chance.

Also, is it just me, or was the horrendous opening and closing music especially loud and obnoxious this week?

Im not to worried the DS dident have that strong of a line up and I think Nintendo just wanted to give 3rd party developers a shot because whats the point of makeing a game for launch if everyone just buys the Zelda game

Ok just got it.
Result: I AM an Idiot

Great episode. I really enjoyed the part about him getting exited over all the school children haha.

Also, I think people really exaggerate the fact that the 3DS need to be held at a specific angle. I've played one, and the angle isn't THAT specific. You can tilt it a bit without the image getting messed up. Overall my opinion of the 3DS is that it's great hardware, but it fails in the software department right now. Hopefully it will end up like the PS3. Not too many games to start with, but over time gathers a totally awesome library.

3DS - normal DS with region locking. Fail Nintendo, fail.

I see that nobody saw that "Portal 2 will be next week, alright" in the credits of the video. Also, I wasn't surprised when he didn't do Portal 2 because he has said in his blog that he finishes all of his reviews a week in advance. This means we have to wait a week or two before he reviews any recent video games.

I figured he would start talking about Nintendo in a negative fashion.

It's like he's got a big list of re-wordings of a nintendo quip and he wants to shoe-horn it in every time the logo appears on the box.

Sapient Pearwood:
3DS - normal DS with region locking. Fail Nintendo, fail.

NGP- A Sony DS that someone sat on and decided to sell.

I've said this before, but not having used my DS for over a year and not having had at any point an interest in upgrading to a DS Lite, DSi or DSiXL, I can't imagine why I'd want a 3DS. I already hate the idea of stereoscopic 3D in gaming. If a bought a 3DS I'd disable the 3D all the friggin time. That would leave me with another $300 paperweight.

PASS.

Aristotle Reed:
I see that nobody saw that "Portal 2 will be next week, alright" in the credits of the video. Also, I wasn't surprised when he didn't do Portal 2 because he has said in his blog that he finishes all of his reviews a week in advance. This means we have to wait a week or two before he reviews any recent video games.

He probably needs to play it a 100th time before he makes a video. You know how much of a Portal fanboy he really is. Either that or "Portal 2" really broke his heart, since he was very skeptical about a Portal sequel in his original Portal review.

love the European comedy. so serious yet so damn funny.

Did anyone else see the dancing imp at the end? That was awesome!

I might get one of these if they can fix the headache issue... and release some decent original titles for it.

one of the funniest ZP in quite a while, well done
I literally spit at my screen from laughter at the "cock face" bit

Great ZP, laughed my ass off.
Your Zp's were starting to lean more to the angry side, then making jokes about their flaws.
Still I have liked them all.

Hey Yatzee, I was wondering if you have ever tried League of Legends? I haven't really seen you mention it in the past and quite enjoy it myself. Doubt you'll ever even see this but if you haven't played it give it a shot, it's got the best free to play model I've seen and once you start learning the core mechanics it's a ton of fun.

CrawlingPastaHellion:
Bleh, 3D. The most useless gimmick since "smell-o-rama". At least in its current state. Not to mention all those migraines a certain percentage of the population get just by watching it.

The first and last 3D movie I ever saw was "Avatar" and it was supposed to have the best 3D around, yet it actually wasn't that good, not to mention the movie was as good as a monkey's arse.

I am yet to play a 3D game though, since I am an Nvidia hater and thus an ATI (now AMD, Intel beats it in the CPU department though) fanboy. Still even if I were an Nvidia fanboy I would still give 3D a pass, since I absolutely despise those retarded 3D glasses! But seeing how looking at the same spot from the same distance is not that much of an improvement, who gives a monkey's arse about it?

Still, I might reconsider on two conditions. First: no stupid 3D glasses! And second: being able to experience 3D from a wide variety angles and at a reasonable distance. The first one is already realized by Nintendo. And the second one probably wouldn't be that hard to engineer: all you need is a sensor badge that calibrates 3D on the fly relative to your position. Well of course it would be hard to engineer, but my idea might be worth looking into, and I'm not even an engineer. That idea has one serious drawback though, only you would be able to enjoy that 3D and a spectator behind your back would only see a pixelated smoothie. But for us gamers it's not that important, especially not for DS users.

I think you're severely overestimating the problem there. Especially on a handheld system. Also remember that its still early days for 3D yet. This is even the first 3D consumer product of its type afaik (glasses free).

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