Zero Punctuation: Portal 2

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I wish I had a portalgun in real life.
Great positive-ish review though!

He loved it... you can tell. Problem is he loved the first one more. I don't think anything is ever gonna trump that for him.

"With one of my fat friends."

After listening to yours and Yug's podcast just prior to watching this review, I found that line all the more amusing.

Apart from being hilarious, this is actually the best review of Portal 2 I've seen. It's fair and balanced and makes accurate critiques instead of just gushing about how brilliant everything is. I agree with everything that's he said, and the mention of the un-replayability of the co-op is an especially frustrating truth.

I began co-op with a friend, and it was marvelous. We got through about 1/3 of it before we had to call it quits.
By the time I was able to get back and play it on another day, the same friend had already played through the rest of co-op with someone else (traitorous swine!). Even so, he agreed to go through my remainder with me. Except the exact thing mentioned in the review happened: since he knew every puzzle already, we blew through them, him dragging me by the hand, which was terribly un-fun and ruined the experience of figuring out the puzzles together. This is the same friend that I can replay the same L4D maps over and over with and have tons of fun, so it's not the person at fault. It's just the inherent flaw in having a linear, static, puzzle game with more than one player.

Why didn't I just play with someone else, you ask? Because within two days of Portal 2 releasing, every friend on my Steam Friends list had already beaten both the single player and co-op. I guess they are all in college or unemployed or something.

I STILL have one level or so left in the co-op that I can't beat because I have no one to play it with because nobody wants to replay it!

Hahahah! You hit the nail of my co-op problem right on the head. I've been playing with my brother all this time, getting through the rooms we haven't before. Then when I switched to playing with a friend of mine, he ended up yelling at me for constantly telling him how to solve rooms, which meant I ended up standing around waiting for him to figure out how to do things that I already knew how to do. It doesn't bother me now, but I can see it getting really old if I keep playing with other friends.

Also: Holy crap, but there were so many moments when I thought to myself, "Geez, ANOTHER test chamber?" I preferred the parts where I was wandering the bowels of Aperture science in such a way that I didn't immediately recognize that I was just trapped in another puzzle room. The dilapidated parts of the facility were a far more interesting sight to me than the sterile test chambers.

I still like this game much more than the first one, though. The story might not be as subtle but it excited me to unravel it.

Yay the Portal 2 review. I'm so glad he picked up on the hat thing (and the absurd length between puzzles, but personally I could live with that). The hats really can just fuck off, they and the items ruined TF2. But while they ruined TF2, I don't hate them cos Valve were experimenting which is more than can be said for most companies, I just wish they stayed away from other good games that don't want ruining.

Also, this means he either got it on PC or PS3, and I'm banking on the PC, so woo (now stop getting games on the XBox if they're not exclusive D:)

Did he just say that there's no potential for new meme's in Portal 2? Have you been paying attention the last few weeks Yahtzee? Does space ring a bell, or lemons?

The really massive puzzles in the middle of the game bugged me at first but I got used to looking for the right spot and in retrospect it makes sense that they'd take full advantage of the "gun" part of the portal gun. Honestly the only thing about the entire experience that I was legitimately disappointed about was that all the really massive levels are all so dark and brown.

When it comes to decent sequels, Portal 2...

You're my favorite poster.

OT: No Memes?
Though you're right, it was a little too spacey. (Eyyy). Especially "The Fall" level, I thought.
Still great though!

What i want to see is a flame war. Come on people put those troll faces on with half of u defending Yahztee and half of u screaming blood murder at him or we can all just scream at him. This video was a dissapointment he has yet to realize that he is just as funny being positive as he is when he is negative.

I'll join the "very fair" chorus. I would have been happy to excuse the easy of the main quest if there was an option for harder stand alone puzzles . . . just like Portal 1. Instead even the toughest puzzles in Portal 2 didn't stand up to the toughest puzzles of the Portal 1 campaign and that was quite disappointing.

Oh come on, this review is so fully agreeable it's boring.

I knew Yahtzee wouldn't like it much.But he's right about most of the Portal 1 fans ,they're really annoying with their "the cake is a lie" phrases.I personally enjoyed portal 2 more because it's a little bit harder and the story evolves.

Actually, there was ONE reference to cake in Portal 2, you may not have seen it.

Is it just me or is Yahtzee the Hipster Cat of game reviewers, the less money a game has behind it the better it is I guess. Well in that case QWOP is the best game ever made.

Nice review, good to see Yahtzee finding positive stuff.
Though I don't see Portal 2 inferior to the original. I actually think it had a better ending. However, Portal 1 had it's own pros.
SO they balance out, in some weird way. Anyways, so far the Portal series has been damn enjoyable.

Well that echoed my own review perfectly. I was a bit worried that it wouldn't, though the way I knew Yahtzee, there's no chance he wouldn't have the same opinion about this particular game.

No memes?

Well my response to that is Lemons and Spaaaaaaaaaaaace!

Not nearly as widespread or interesting. Also a bit forced, as if the devs knew what they'd become.

Steve the Pocket:
Very, VERY surprised he didn't complain at all about the shameless retconning of the first game. Given how he feels about shameless sequels, even if Portal 2 doesn't qualify as one by a wide margin, I would think yoinking away a happy ending in a patch, just so there can be a sequel, would be on his top-ten list of biggest dick moves a developer can pull.

Maybe this is just me, but I never thought the original ending to Portal was all that happy...I felt as though I was laying on my back, dying slowly of explosionitus on the ground. Portal 2's ending is a lot more definitively happy and I liked it quite a lot.

You sir are acting as if you were raped by scarlett johansson, telling yourself you didn't love it. but by god you did.

I remember how I was talking to a friend about how my favourite cake was a Victoria sponge when a wild idiot appeared and shouted in my ear: "THE CAKE IS A LIE!"


No I thought Y man might pick up that the "biggest moron ever created" is inexplicably the only person in the Half Life UNIVERSE with a British accent.

As for hats I too was disappointed by the design. I unlocked only the beany hat. Looks fine on my cone head guy as it morphs into a cone shape such as one might imagine it would looked pulled tight on his misshapen pinhead. In the icon it is human shaped but when he wears it BAM its conforms to his head. I like that.

Now when my round fellow wears it it is still cone shaped. Which is odd because he is basically a sphere. After putting the hat on he is a now sphere with an inexplicably stiff woolen cone pasted on top like a party hat. I expected it to be pulled down on his head shaped like half a circle, but they decided to make the hat look the same for both.
o> and O->

I find it annoying that you, self-proclaimed lover of quality in game stories, didn't even bring up the game's thematic depth. A game that actually discusses abusive motherhood is worthy of praise, methinks.

IIRC, the creators of Portal 2 got fucking tired of the fanbase cracking "Cake is a Lie" jokes to them at cons and Q&As about the game, or some shit, so they decided "Fuck it! No cake for you!"

If Portal 3 takes place in space, how would momentum work?

The Experimental Aperture Science Stellar Gravitation and Inertia Simulator? I'm sure they could make a whole bunch of new puzzles based on physics in space.

No memes?

Well my response to that is Lemons and Spaaaaaaaaaaaace!

I personally believe people only found those memes in this game because they were looking for them. They are nowhere near as memorable as the cake.

By the way, I love the doctor who reference in your title thingy :)

Nothing memetic? If reddit is a barometer, Cave Johnson's lemon rant would disagree with you.

Meanwhile, I'll happily laugh at the defective turret dialog by myself, as everyone seems to be ignoring those poor broken turrets.

This was exactly the review I was expecting, Yahtzee.

The 2 issues I have with portal 2 as a whole are that the Co-op mode has 0 replay value once you complete it, and that more than a few of the "backstage puzzles" are all about finding that small area that you can place a portal on.

Fortunately there is true DLC on the way for the game. I just hope that Valve doesn't go hat crazy like they did with TF2.

I feel like this entire review lacks perspective. I actually went back and replayed Portal to compare it to Portal 2.

Every non-tutorial puzzle provided me with significantly more difficulty than any of the non-challenge portals in the original.

The physics of the game were also much crisper in Portal 2 with the tech behind it receiving major improvements. Playing Portal now seems slightly choppy after playing through Portal 2.

The only complaint I had with the game were the loading screens which broke flow in a big way.

Alexander Sverchkov:
I knew Yahtzee wouldn't like it much.But he's right about most of the Portal 1 fans ,they're really annoying with their "the cake is a lie" phrases.I personally enjoyed portal 2 more because it's a little bit harder and the story evolves.

Maybe watch it again. He loved it, he just didn't love it as much as Portal 1. He even said in the video that were Portal 2 a standalone game he'd be gushing over it like crazy; the only reason he isn't is because of its superior (to him) predecessor.

Wait! I think I have a complaint about Portal!

Regenerating health.

I think Yahtzee was wrong when he said Portal 2 has no memetic appeal. What about the combustible lemons? You know, THE ONES THAT WILL BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!


"This is an action game for non action people". Screw that, it needs more platforming elements and some serious skill to get through them to be enjoyable.

Oh, i'm sorry but not everyone likes to grind as much as you do.
"Oh, I missed that platform, lets try it again"
"Oh, I missed it again, lets try it one more time"
"Missed it AGAIN, this is getting on my nerves"
And after about 10 times this shit happens, most people would just leave the game or cheat through the level.
Think about this for a second- if it's going to be hard as balls for you, most of the people who play this game are going to find it impossible.
And what is this bull about portal 2 being easy? The last bits of every part took me some time to figure out, and the co-op was seriously hard at some points.

Right, so... I got this game yesterday, started playing, and finished

Now, I'm not certain whether or not there's really THAT much difference. "Right...sorry, we have a budget now, so you can have an actual plot.", says the game. You see, there are those who say that regular Portal is good because it's short. Others say that it wasn't long enough, a common complaint about some games.

Portal 2 made me feel right at home (until Wheatly uprooted it), and then it seemed to be going through nostalgia and then...HUWWAH?! You mean the science center can DO THAT?! Nah nah, I liked it, alot. I mean, we get lasers, springboards, anti-gravity, more turrets, a rather disturbing story, and definitely a few twists.

I dunno. I'm not entirely disagreeing. It's good and it's different, and yet also with the same sort of world updated to holy shit levels. At the end of the day, I have to pull a trope out of my hat and say "Your Mileage May Vary". Still, a recommendation, to be sure. This one will definitely cause memetic mutation.

Mark my words, "Space" is the new cake. You will hate this revelation in time.

Was really eager about this video, haha.

Gotta agree with you (except for the Co-Ops since I didn't touch it), I started playing Portal 2 a second time soon after the first run and the intro already got tiring. The first experience was great, but like you said, the story is getting into the way of the gameplay at times, which is sorta surprising given what Valve is known for. For some reason I was almost shocked when the very ending was

Also interesting to see how you reacted to the cosmetics in both this game and TF2, since a lot of people that whine about the whiners whining about the gimmicks think that they're superficial since it doesn't touch the core gameplay - and you're quite focused on gameplay, in a good way I should add, but to me there's more to a good game than that and apparently you share my view here.

Haha, and here thought I was the only one that noticed the difference in style of humor, Valve seems to be going for the "silly" kind of fun both in Portal 2 and with TF2 updates. I don't know what kind of game to expect of Episode 3 anymore, but I can't help but wonder.

Agreed with above user, "Spacelemon is the new cake".

am I the only person to not beat portal and then not care about portal 2?

Steve the Pocket:
I would think yoinking away a happy ending in a patch, just so there can be a sequel, would be on his top-ten list of biggest dick moves a developer can pull.

I'd agree about that...if it was what happened. In reality, they "yoinked away" an ambiguous ending and gave it a more concrete direction. With the original ending for all you know Chell died in the explosion. That's not exactly happy.

Unless you hated Chell, I guess. Did you hate Chell? It's okay. No hard feelings.

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