Duke Nukem Forever Review

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This just in: He also hated on Portal 2. My judgment is reserved, and I'm only here for the game footage.

Anyone else getting the distinct link between the author's continued personal input on the site and the ill-fated Game Dogs series? You should.

Still going to get it, who cares if it got bad reviews, its for Duke fans, so leave it at that.

I guess Yathzee was right all along but still MUST. HAVE. YATHZEE REVIEW.

Bottom Line: Duke Nukem Forever is a deeply flawed game that I would have stopped playing after five minutes were it not a requirement of my job to play longer. Although no amount of money could have convinced me to press on all the way to the end.

Recommendation: If you are stuck on a deserted island with only this game to play, go fishing instead. Worth playing so that you may be able to say that you did, but otherwise imminently forgettable and not worth your time.

Lol that bottom line made me laugh, along with the start of the recommendation. Very funny. Too bad the game is terrible.

I'm not 12, but when this game was announced, I was.

Yep, I played the demo and got the same feeling. Such a shame seeing that I went into it hoping that it would live up to its predecessors standards, but it failed and now I'm left not only disappointed, but very very sad.

Duke Nukem Forever. I wish it'd taken Forever.

Your video should be called '10 things I would like about Duke Nukem if I wasn't a hardcore nerd'.

This game isn't designed for the pretentious hardcore gamers you find on places like the escapist.

I let a few friends (who don't play games) have a go on my computer because it seemed like a game early 20s males would find really funny and we just spent the whole time having a laugh.

The game is not great, but it is better than all the serious clone FPS games that have come out recently. I put it on par with Turok, the graphics are ok, the mechanics are ok, the story is interesting enough to keep you playing and it has some really over the top humour (Duke is such a douche bag).

Not a great game but enjoyable nonetheless.

EDIT: It took you an hour to beat the Queen Alien? Why were you the one reviewing this game...

Notere:
This just in: He also hated on Portal 2. My judgment is reserved, and I'm only here for the game footage.

Anyone else getting the distinct link between the author's continued personal input on the site and the ill-fated Game Dogs series? You should.

Hmmmmm.....interesting. He hated on Portal 2? Well, I'm definitely buying Duke tomorrow then. If you hate Portal 2, you really don't understand the games you're playing.

I knew it was gonna suck for the fact it took so long to be made. Too many people had their hands in its creation and you end up with a bunch of ideas that aren't fully realized.

Why..why...why...WHY!

Why did they have to make it cover-based? Why couldn't they make what it should have been, a Doom/DukeNukem style run n' gun, no cover, no regenerating health bar style shooter? A homage to that era of games? Why even bother to use the modern, generic COD/Gears/Everydamnothergame style shooter, when what we wanted was a trip to nostalgialand?

/headdesk. I wanted this to be good so..very..badly.

Russ Pitts:
-snip-

I seem to recall you saying in that recent podcast that you were not going to review DNF because of your personal feelings about it. I take it that something interfered with your plan and you had to be the one to review it anyway? :s

In any event, I wasn't going to buy this game no matter what scores it got. Bad scores though... certainly make me feel more "right" in that choice. :o

while playing Duke Nukem I had the feeling i was re Playing Half Life 2. Alien invasion, puzzle solving, vehicle riding, the guns style.
The only difference is that half life has a more charming and interesting main character ;P

I feel bad for this game. It's been over 12 years since the game was announced, and now that it's finally being released, it's gets poor reviews. I'm still going to play this game...when I can get it cheap. I plan on buying Alice: Madness Returns tomorrow.

It isn't humor that simply appeals to immature little brats. It's humor that appeals to people who are secure enough with their maturity to be able to laugh at ridiculous "childish" jokes. Quit being insecure. Quit talking about how you're totally older than the little brats who would laugh at this stuff. If you're so damn sophisticated go watch "Yes Minister" and play Europa Universalis. If you're so damn sophisticated this game shouldn't have even been a blip on your radar.

Eh.

Yeah, DNF is a bad game, but it's STILL more fun than most stuff that gets out these days.

Two weapons? Yeah, but still more fun than the myriad of the same SMGs and assault rifles in the COD clones. And shotgun actually feels like a shotgun. And the devastator outdated...? What?

Level design - yes, incomprehensible piece of shit, but STILL better than the non-stop shooting galleries that are other games.

And the humor - no, I'm not 12 and yes sometimes it gets weird, but for fucks sake, it's a fucking GAME and game are supposed to be FUN. Duke is actually trying to be funny and now it's bad?

And while I despise the turret sections and other bland shit like generic physics puzzles, it's seriously no worse than turrets in (again) COD clones and other games.

So at the end, it's a much, much, much better game than, say, HL2 episode 2. I can't see how anyone can see it differently (even if they hate the humor).

i knew this game wouldnt have the same appeal it once did. ya know why i thought duke 3d was so great? its because i was 13 when i played it. duke nukem has not changed, you have. and for the better. it would be pretty fuckin sad if you were in your mid 20s and found duke as funny and appealing as you did when you were going through puberty. i think everyone pretty much knew that this game would be relying completely on nostalgia

GameMaNiAC:

bombadilillo:
I will never understand why so many people are buying this knowing full well its a modernized turd. Sends the wrong message to the developers to put out crap like this.

Im sure they thought...Well lets just put out whatever we have because people will buy this crap just because its been so long.

And you are proving them right. Go buy 3-6 indie games instead that are worthy.

I didn't wait 12 years for nothing. It may be a bad game, but it's probably entertaining too. Reviewers usually compare games to the other games of the generation, and then give them an appropriate score based off of that, not how entertained they were. Surely it's more fun than fishing, I've played the demo. Besides, there have been both bad and positive reviews on several sites. This is probably one of those games you grow up to either hate or love.

Milo Windby:
"I'm not 12 so this game sucks"
Do we really need to act our age all the time? Being adults we are expected to act our age all the time, at work, in public, ect... Acting anything other then as an adult is frowned upon so really... a game that does not take its self seriously and allows you to toss shit at the wall, get drunk and burp and slap wall tits just because you can really lets you just have a small amount of fun time that you can not normally do because... its just not mature to do.

Couldn't have said it better myself. Why does everyone have to be an adult all the time? Do some wacky and dumb shit, live a little!

Did you read the review? It was bad because of broken almost unplayable mechanics. Not dumb but fun! Nobodies bitching thats its bad because its not mature. Thats a strawman outa left field. Im against releasing a shit game with a known ip attached and people buy it. Why crap games get made.

"Hey Duke Nukem!"

Duke:"Ya?"

"Can you spell...BARGAIN BIN?"

Duke: "Yes I can...M..Y...G..A..M..E!"

Ehh, I'll rent it off Gamefly once it's available and judge for myself.
It's not really that this is all the work that lasted for the entire 12 yrs. This is the product of at least 2 years of development from the new studio since 3D Realms is no more.

AssassinJoe:
The king is dead! Long live the king!

Long live the king!

*BFD:
-Long live the king!
-Yeah, long live the king!
-Stop repeating me!
-I'm not, I'm repeating him.*

Women are being tortured while being hung upside-down naked and the game gives the player the option to just kill them? This FPS is not being crass and crude. Bulletstorm was being crass and crude. This is just exploitative. And I don't say any of this as an individual who fancies himself a highly-moral intellectual. I actually wasn't bothered by the games premise of having Duke save Earth's women because they had been abducted by aliens. I just accepted it as part of the protagonists nature as a parody of 1980s style, macho, action heroes. I probably shouldn't be so surprised, but I just did not expect it to cross that line.

Sorry about that rant. As for the actual game? It looks like a messy piece of shit that expects us to excuse it for being a messy piece of shit because of nostalgia and its reputation for being in development for over a decade. I will do no such thing, but I mean no ill will towards anyone who does.

It has indeed got many issues, one thing I can comment on is the multiplayer. It basicaly would not have made the reviewer here score higher, actualy I feel he'd have lowered the score if he sat and played it honestly.

Basicaly whoever grabs the devastator first, wins, is how it goes down from my experience. It just feels very much shoehorned in (given the games history is expected lets face it), with poor map design, weapon balance and nothing new as far as game modes. Basicaly if you are looking for a great fps multiplayer experience just don't waste your money here. (though this is clearly only my opinion)

Still gonna buy it, haters gonna hate.

I don't care what anyone says. I don't care how much you hate on the game. I just don't fucking care anymore. All that I care about right now is the fact that my Balls of Steel Edition has just been shipped via FedEx and will arrive here tomorrow. People will tell me that it's everything from mediocre to abysmal, but I want to see this game for myself, up close and personal. Also, every single thing you mentioned in that video? Made me want the game even more.

Is it crude? Yes. Is it immature? Also yes. Does it look like alot of fun? Very much yes. Also, just because you go into the red doesn't mean you have to hide behind a rock like that. Personally, I see that as a sign that I need to throw a pipe-bomb or two. I am not going to give up on Duke Nukem until I play the game for myself to see whether or not it is any good. Even then, Gearbox and Triptych can work together to make a better Duke Nukem game if DNF turns out to suck for me, anyway.

So, I leave you with this.

Always. Bet. On. Duke.

While many American gamers have pulled back their chips, I'm going to splash this pot with my $89.99 and am going to fucking enjoy it.

The fact that you're in fact comparing this game to titles like Call of Duty and Halo says plenty to me, in that you have no inkling to what makes a good game anymore or that in all honesty you never really did. That is of course unless you're praising their recycled and re-used mechanics, which quite frankly isn't much better than the previous.

Despite that little tidbit, the thing that steams me the most is your almost non-sensical berating of this game that nobody with a lick of sense was quite frankly expecting too much out of either way, is just over-the-top unnecessary and plain over-kill.

In my personal oppinion of your review, Duke Nukem Forever was a low-browed joke made to be just that, and that you are far too high on your pedastal to have heard and/or gotten it. I guess to be serious about games these days it means we have to forget that they're still GAMES, is that it?

For everyone wondering why this review is so damning and the game still got 2 stars, well if it only got one star what would you do when you had a game like Shadow Harvest: Phantom Ops? Can you give negative stars?

Mendaceum:
Why..why...why...WHY!

Why did they have to make it cover-based? Why couldn't they make what it should have been, a Doom/DukeNukem style run n' gun, no cover, no regenerating health bar style shooter? A homage to that era of games? Why even bother to use the modern, generic COD/Gears/Everydamnothergame style shooter, when what we wanted was a trip to nostalgialand?

/headdesk. I wanted this to be good so..very..badly.

The worst part is, I imagine these changes were made by Gearbox - the ones who "saved" this game. I'm not trying to say it wasn't a mishmash of half-finished ideas before they got it, most of the games flaws no doubt predate Gearbox. But I can't shake the feeling that they didn't try to update the game and get it in line with the times and screw it up even further.

Swifteye:
I guess Yathzee was right all along but still MUST. HAVE. YATHZEE REVIEW.

Oh yes :D

Mendaceum:
Why..why...why...WHY!

Why did they have to make it cover-based? Why couldn't they make what it should have been, a Doom/DukeNukem style run n' gun, no cover, no regenerating health bar style shooter? A homage to that era of games? Why even bother to use the modern, generic COD/Gears/Everydamnothergame style shooter, when what we wanted was a trip to nostalgialand?

/headdesk. I wanted this to be good so..very..badly.

This is a run and gun game. If you're good enough you'll probably never need to regenerate health. Also, a game with no cover? Are you asking for levels that are empty boxes with you and the enemies dumped inside?

00slash00:
i knew this game wouldnt have the same appeal it once did. ya know why i thought duke 3d was so great? its because i was 13 when i played it. duke nukem has not changed, you have. and for the better. it would be pretty fuckin sad if you were in your mid 20s and found duke as funny and appealing as you did when you were going through puberty. i think everyone pretty much knew that this game would be relying completely on nostalgia

So basically you're insulting people such as myself, who despite being in college or older still enjoy Duke Nukem games? It's fine if you don't enjoy this game, but you don't have to insult us for liking it.

Yureina:

In any event, I wasn't going to buy this game no matter what scores it got. Bad scores though... certainly make me feel more "right" in that choice. :o

Review scores aren't everything, as they too come down to personal taste. The reviewer clearly hated this game, I find it enjoyable. If I can enjoy it, are the numbers wrong? No, because they reflect someone else's taste. Therefore, you can't judge the 'correctness' of the decision on other peoples' reviews. The only way to know for sure if you'd like a game is to watch somebody else playing through it and ask yourself these questions: Do I think I would have fun playing that game? Is there something that destroys the playability of this game?

bombadilillo:

Did you read the review? It was bad because of broken almost unplayable mechanics.

"Broken, almost unplayable mechanics?" I've been watching someone play this game, and from what I've seen there and heard from others there is nothing broken or unplayable in the game.

Fun, albeit sad, comparison. Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude. Didn't come out until about 11 years after the previous real installment of the game. Duke Nukem Forever: 12 years of development hell. MCL: rewards of topless ladies for doing random crap in the game. DNF: rewards of topless ladies for doing random crap in game. MCL: tasteless humor, albeit with surprisingly good writing. DNF: tasteless humor, rarely some pretty decent writing. MCL: panned for terrible, dull and repetitive gameplay. DNF: panned for having a really confusing mishmash of bad and not-well-thought-out or unoriginal gameplay. MCL: hyped for being the continuation of a much-beloved and deservedly so series that had otherwise been lost to the sands of time. Advertising included overly enthusiastic call-backs to the original series, winking references to old-school fans and the game being upgraded, and a flash game in which you did some random things to get pictures of real-life topless ladies. DNF: Ditto. Even down to the flash game.

Sad end: MCL was not actually made by Al Lowe, which in my opinion excuses a lot of its badness. And for all that, I actually kinda enjoyed it once I got through the hell of the minigames.

DNF: actually made by many of the developers of the Duke Nukem franchise. Still bad. I'm still not excited about playing past even the first couple levels (also, screw the pool game. Screw it up its butt). Unless they actually manage to make money off of this somehow, this really should have just stayed an idle fantasy of what might have been.

Edit: Not a major change, but now that I've been playing a bit further there are a few more fun elements. Really, it just kinda plays like a Doom 3. Which is sad, given that that game came out like 7 years ago. But it's not terrible. You'll just feel like you went back in time a ways.

It should have had health packs and armor and the ability to hold more then 2 weapons. Seriously, did gearbox try to understand where this game came from? Those two things would have made the game much much better from what I'm seeing. It seems they forgot what made the old shooters good. Not gonna judge until I play it.

But saying duke nukem is a bad game because its immature is just stupid. Its kinda the point of the whole series.

Kurt Horsting:
It should have had health packs and armor and the ability to hold more then 2 weapons. Seriously, did gearbox try to understand where this game came from? Those two things would have made the game much much better from what I'm seeing. It seems they forgot what made the old shooters good. Not gonna judge until I play it.

But saying duke nukem is a bad game because its immature is just stupid. Its kinda the point of the whole series.

Hopefully they go back to this for future games. And hopefully they make more Duke games.

Petwins:
I think this will go on my long list of games I objectively acknowledge as terrible, but enjoy playing none the less

Me too... I think I actually had more fun here than with Bulletstorm :/

I've only heard awful awful reviews about DN:F... but t'aint gunna stop me gettin' it.

dint like the game my self. first impression was good. had some funny moments in it. but the more i played it, the less i enjoyed it and in the end when i finished it, it was bad.
i enjoy bulletstorm far more then this.
the only good thing i can say about this game, that is has some humor in it. but thats pretty much it.
gameplay wise was just meh. only 2 weapons at once, hiding behind cover until your health recovers? thats not the duke i know either.

It sould like everyone expect the second coming. It stupid fun sometimes that all you want.

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