Open Letter to Duke Nukem PR

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Open Letter to Duke Nukem PR

Trust is important. That's why threatening game reviewers is a dangerous game.

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Im reminded of that scene from Robin Hood: Men in Tights when the sherrif slaps Robin in the face with a leather glove and challenges him to a duel, only for Robin to reply by slapping him in the face with a metal gauntlet and saying, "I accept". :P

Nice work Russ, be interesting to see if he responds though I think the sensible thing for him would be to read it, absorb it and then carry on. If he tries to respond he could end up digging a hole.

The solution, of course, is to not make terrible games in the first place.

The irony is that we both (Journalists and PR people) take many of the same courses to obtain our respective degrees. We are breed to do battle with one another. Journalists are some of the only professionals trained to make will saves against PR jibber-jabber and PR experts learn exactly how to give journalists exactly what they don't want out of a story.

After a long time of not having any opinion of you, Russ, I can now say with confidence that I love you. Your letter is simply beautiful hahaha

I've started a slow clap. This is a justifiably snarky retort ... I love it. :D

Mess with the bull and all the jazz yeah?

If they begin denying reviewers copies because they don't think you'll give them a favourable review, maybe you should band together with other reviewers and blacklist THEM.

A completely justified response. Publishers cannot expect the review process to strictly function as additional advertising. If there are that many awful reviews, perhaps something is amiss.

I'm starting to like this Russ Pitts fellow....

BTW Epic avatar as well. Kane ftw!

I love how this reply is ripe in sarcasm, and dripping in a totally, well needed, retort.

It lets me know, no matter what, the escapist has solid journalistic integrity

Remember. Some forum goers have said that Russ doesn't know how to review games.

Then again these same people enjoy picking up unflushed logs.

Buwahahaha... Your avatar somehow has me reading this in a nefarious, over the top, bad guy monolog-ing voice. Excellent.

Wow acting like a snob to show that the other guy is a complete dick. How mature. Well I hope I don't get banned. We all should have right to our opinions without fear of some higher power cutting us off if it thinks otherwise, right Russ?

This is such a wonderfully patronising letter that I can't help but smile as I read it. Epic!

yayforgiveaway:
Wow acting like a snob to show that the other guy is a complete dick. How mature. Well I hope I don't get banned. We all should have right to our opinions without fear of some higher power cutting us off if it thinks otherwise, right Russ?

To be honest... I agree with this guy.
This response wasn't really needed. It just seemed petty. You could have kept your journalistic integrity without getting into a pissing contest of snark.
Just sayin'.

TheOneandOnly:
The solution, of course, is to not make terrible games in the first place.

Easier said than done. There are a million ways to screw up a digital game. A strong production pipeline that can produce to passable standards of quality and consistency is extremely difficult to establish. Being able to see the forest for the trees and understand how all the pieces come together to make a game is infinitely harder when you're distracted by those technical issues.

Much of game design seems to be taken for granted now adays; "design by checklist," I call it. You take it for granted that if you include every feature from every other game of Genre X that's out there that it'll be good, so instead of writing rules methodically and thoughtfully you just go down that checklist. Of course it takes immense time and effort to implement; no less than if you actually thought out the rules of your game or responded to alpha testing and added or dropped features based on feedback. So, at the end of the day, developers pat themselves on the back anyhow. They worked hard and shed sweat, blood, and tears over their product.

That doesn't change that it's an amateurish way of working that's doomed to abject failure.

GotMurf:

yayforgiveaway:
Wow acting like a snob to show that the other guy is a complete dick. How mature. Well I hope I don't get banned. We all should have right to our opinions without fear of some higher power cutting us off if it thinks otherwise, right Russ?

To be honest... I agree with this guy.
This response wasn't really needed. It just seemed petty. You could have kept your journalistic integrity without getting into a pissing contest of snark.
Just sayin'.

Negative.

Russ simply in an amusing way highlighted the problems with games reviewing.

Or maybe you don't believe this is a problem we have?

....jus sayin

I think it's cute when you guys talk about honesty and trust in reviews, but give Dragon Age II a perfect score.

I'm not saying Duke Nukem's good, I'm saying it's not like the "honest opinion" of this site means a whole lot anyway.

Withard:
Remember. Some forum goers have said that Russ doesn't know how to review games.

Then again these same people enjoy picking up unflushed logs.

What does wood have to do with flus--oh, OHHHH. No, don't pick that up!

I think its also worth seeing this before anyone here has a solid on for attacking Russ

image

This was followed by even more crap which has since been removed...but the power of the internet refuses to let things quietly disappear into the night

"It's one thing to not like a game, it's an entirely different thing to rate it a 2 & b completely mean spirited."

"It's cool to not like something...no need to be mean about it. But, it shows u...it's easier to b funny when being mean."

"Fair is great. Even if the score is poor, as long as the review is fair...I've got zero complaints."

"Bad scores are fine. Venom filled reviews...that's completely different. "

People like this should NOT dictate how things are reviewed. and this quote echoes the feel "It's somewhat of a big deal because media outlets that don't get copies on time obviously struggle to remain competitive as most other major outlets are able to publish reviews on launch day due to having access to titles prior to release."

I don't think anyone should be suprised by this...in fact ever since the Kane and Lynch controversy it should be obvious that its a constant heavy presence in this industry...

Though one thing that did make me *rolleyes* came from the blog link Pitts posted. The point being made is correct but the writers vision of this situations end game...

I can envision a future in which games reporting is conducted by mainstream outlets like NYT and CNN, who are too big to influence

I mean that makes me LoL...like they are above the influence :P

Thank you, Mr. Pitts, for once again proving that sarcasm and irony are the best counters to bullshit.

If this was the best they could do for Duke Neukem, I wouldn't think you'd want to review any more of his games.

Kudos Russ

Wow, that was just beautiful Russ. If it wasn't for the fact that I was eating something spicy for lunch when I read that, I'd have attributed the tears in my eyes to the emotions that your missive invoked in my otherwise battle hardened persona.

Have a nice day.

ps: R.I.P Duke

To be honest, I think it's a little stupid that anyone expected anything other than immature human and a mind numbing shooter.

What were you expecting from Duke Nukem, exactly?

I understand the game is flat out bad, but the complaint that it's immature is a really, really stupid reason to shoot down the game when it's just basically making fun of itself.

Oh man, I hope your sarcasm isn't lost on your target. PR people everywhere ought to learn a lot from this debacle.

SteelStallion:
To be honest, I think it's a little stupid that anyone expected anything other than immature human and a mind numbing shooter.

What were you expecting from Duke Nukem, exactly?

I understand the game is flat out bad, but the complaint that it's immature is a really, really stupid reason to shoot down the game when it's just basically making fun of itself.

Bulletstorm managed it. So.....the immaturity and the "mind numbing (This is good?) shooting" is supposed to excuse the game for being crap?

Bulletstorm was immature, had swearing, RIDICULOUS but NOT mind numbing shooting and creativity in its set pieces and approach to beefing up the standard shooter. A breath of fresh air.

Seriously if you added Duke Nukem voice over to Bulletstorm you may cry at the opportunity thats been wasted.

Bulletstorm = Immature, Violent, Dakka Dakka! Has the best boot kick ever! VIOLENT!!! Sweary!

Duke Nukem = TRIES the above...becomes boring through trying so hard (Bulletstorm goes out its way but does it in a cartoonish format)...NO innovation in shooting and even Dukes kick has been bested...I mean WTF!!

Oh and before we go you could only carry a certain amount of weapons in Bulletstorm but they were all HELLA fun!

MirrorForTheSun:
I think it's cute when you guys talk about honesty and trust in reviews, but give Dragon Age II a perfect score.

I'm not saying Duke Nukem's good, I'm saying it's not like the "honest opinion" of this site means a whole lot anyway.

We didn't say it was perfect, nor do we say that a 5/5 means a game is perfect. I don't claim to speak for the other reviewers here, but I've yet to play a perfect game, but I've certainly handed out a few 5/5s.

Those of us who played Dragon Age 2 genuinely did enjoy it that much.The review reflects Greg Tito's opinion of the game, and of course your experience with the game may not match his. "Not in agreement with your opinion" does not equate with "dishonest liars."

derek_smart:
Wow, that was just beautiful Russ. If it wasn't for the fact that I was eating something spicy for lunch when I read that, I'd have attributed the tears in my eyes to the emotions that your missive invoked in my otherwise battle hardened persona.

Have a nice day.

ps: R.I.P Duke

Thanks, Derek. Coming from you that's ... man, I'm kind of flabbergasted here. Genuinely.

I mean, we'll still ban you from the forum from time to time, but I appreciate the kind words.

Susan Arendt:

MirrorForTheSun:
I think it's cute when you guys talk about honesty and trust in reviews, but give Dragon Age II a perfect score.

I'm not saying Duke Nukem's good, I'm saying it's not like the "honest opinion" of this site means a whole lot anyway.

We didn't say it was perfect, nor do we say that a 5/5 means a game is perfect. I don't claim to speak for the other reviewers here, but I've yet to play a perfect game, but I've certainly handed out a few 5/5s.

Those of us who played Dragon Age 2 genuinely did enjoy it that much.The review reflects Greg Tito's opinion of the game, and of course your experience with the game may not match his. "Not in agreement with your opinion" does not equate with "dishonest liars."

Whatever helps you sleep at night. The review was full of the euphemism I've come to expect from PR firms, not "honest reviewers." Roleplaying "however you want" does not mean "Mean, nice, or snarky." However you want to rationalize it, I can't help but feel like you folks are using the opportunity of a fairly bad game that is expected by most to be bad anyway as a painless way to appear legitimate to your readers. I never called you liars, I implied that the opinions in the reviews weren't particularly honest. I understand! It's hard to cope with the high profile that comes with hosting Zero Punctuation. You've gotta make nice with the sponsors. (It's actually funny that DNF is plastered all over the site right now. It makes you guys seem like real rebels.) Just don't make yourselves out to be something you're not.

Dear Mr. Pitts,

image

Thank you for saying what needed to be said.

nexekho:
If they begin denying reviewers copies because they don't think you'll give them a favourable review, maybe you should band together with other reviewers and blacklist THEM.

While i can agree in theory, I'm unsure how feasible that is. The different reviewer websites would have to first admit that they are being denied copies. I'm not sure if they would.

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