Extra Punctuation: Upcoming Games Won't Suck, Hopefully

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I know the games are going to suck.
I just wanted to know how Yahtzee would've slowly and painfully put Mr Caffine out of our misery.

Carnagath:

Arkynomicon:

Another one I'm hyped about is Dark Souls. Pretty much gonna be a more streamlined version of Demon's Souls and apparently harder then the first one. So yeah, I'm probably gonna like it more then anything else released this year.

It was really weird watching Dark Souls's presentation. It was basically 20 minutes of the game's developers trying to kill a normal rhino-type enemy and miserably failing because they couldn't dodgeroll. Either they really fucked up the controls somehow in the sequel, or the people who are making this game are also REALLY bad at it. Gonna wait for some reviews/player opinions before getting it, just in case.

Yeah, I felt like a sportfan watching that. Saying stuff like "The hell are you doing? Dodge more! Why are you leroying?" But the gameplay kinda looks and sorta feel like Demon's Souls, so I remain optimistic.

I just now got around to looking up "I Am Alive" and think it sounds like the shit. Now if only Ubisoft would tell us when the fucking thing is coming out since according to Wikipedia the project wasn't cancelled, Ubisoft is just being tight lipped. Which sucks, i could use a good survival sim.

Yahtzee Croshaw:
Am I the only person who kind of prefers FPS protagonists to be silent?

Nope, I too feel this way, and I don't understand people that think otherwise. Protagonists that waffle on uncontrollably feels jarring and disconnects me from the gaming experience. Same as cutscenes that kick in while you're playing and remove control from your character, like they're saying LOOK HERE YOU FUCKING MORON, SHITS GOING ON.

Strange though, from reading/watching various things by you I was under the impression that you disliked silent protagonists? Call me a person with a poor memory, but didn't you bemoan the lack of voice-over by Isaac in Dead Space?

Assassin's Creed will be just as tedious as the other versions of it, ploughing through endless hours of boring wallpaper quests and getting 2 minutes of exciting exposition every now and again.

RE: Dead Island trailer vs gameplay video. Interesting isn't it, that the impression the first trailer apparently gave thousands of people (i.e. that Dead Island was a Heavy Rain-alike) scared the developers shitless and resulted in the vastly different gameplay trailer that followed. Like NO NO We're not like THAT game! I feel the same way as you, anyway - was hoping for a well-told story about survival on a zombie island, still gonna play the shit out of it even if it is Borderlands-with-zombies (ugh).

Oh and the new Tomb Raider looks shite.

J40kfan15:
It would seem that Yahtzee did not see the E3 gameplay for Skyrim. Besides the original trailer aside from the use of different camera angles and minor editing was all ingame as confirmed by the devs.

Only other game that interests me on your list is Mass Effect 3. Aside from Deus Ex Human Revolution that goes unmentioned.

Yeah....I haven't heard enough smack about human revolution to consider writing it off yet. Give it time, though.

Good article.

Now let's see if these games will deliver like they promised they will.

Oh God....
Yahtzee is feeling a postitive emotion?
May god help us all........

Zhukov:
Y'know, that was nowhere near an venomous as I was expecting.

Also, I strongly agree with him on Dead Island. That trailer that everybody went gaga about suggested some kind of emotional engagement, or at least an attempt at it. But the actual game was revealed to be a zombie-em-up splatterfest nauseatingly reminiscent of Borderlands.

Yeah I got the same feeling when I saw that, it was kinda a let down to be honest. I'm curious to know why they kept giving us such a schizophrenic view on the game before they finally gave us the run down of the game.

OT: With Tomb Raider I'm wondering how that survival mechanic works as well. I've read different things on it and I'm interested in it enough to see how that will work out and if it will change the way the game plays out.

Also, I think I know Yahtzee's feelings about Silent Hill: Downpour since he made no mention of it. I can agree with him on that.

huh... I thought I once heard yahtzee say he's opposed to remakes.
Well... as long as it's HD :P...

Fiz_The_Toaster:
OT: With Tomb Raider I'm wondering how that survival mechanic works as well. I've read different things on it and I'm interested in it enough to see how that will work out and if it will change the way the game plays out.

I can answer that.

It just highlights the interactive elements in a room. Puts a kind of yellowish glow around them. Fairly similar to "runner vision" in Mirror's Edge.

Yeah... I'm guessing that wasn't what you were hoping for. There's a gameplay demonstration out there that includes it, if you want to see for yourself. A quick bit of googling should find it.

EDIT: Ah, screw it, I'll dig it up myself. Here ya go.

So is it ever going to be possible to play Silent Hill 1 without a Playstation, a dodgy emulator, or a mixed-bag Wii remake?

The Silent Hill HD Collection

OH GOD IS THIS THE EMOTION YOU CALL JOY????

Something tells me that Yahtzee didn't hear about the new voice acting.

Also I find it very disturbing that in a year where plenty of new IP's were released and more are still on track to being released, people still complain about the lack of creativity and endless sequels. I suspect it's become sort of a trend at this point. Here are some quick examples from this year's E3: Catherine, Shadows of the Damned, Never Dead, yes even Dead Island and most likely a lot more that I'm forgetting right now. And there's several sequels that look like a drastic departure from the respective originals and might even turn out great. I guess it only depends on what games you want to notice.

Callate:
So is it ever going to be possible to play Silent Hill 1 without a Playstation, a dodgy emulator, or a mixed-bag Wii remake?

I'm pretty sure it's available on PlaystationNetwork in the PSOne classics sections. For PS3 and PSP. Those games tend to work just fine.

Congratulations on discovering joy, Yahtzee, though I wish you had talked about what you thought of Downpour... Oh well, go Revelations!

I'm torn. On the one hand, Serious Sam is going to be another brown shooter with heaping spoonfuls of grit, like every other shooter ever made nowadays. On the other hand, it's abandoning chest-high walls if the tagline is to be believed. Hell, get the mod community on this, and they'll de-grit the game with a colorful coat of paint so we can have a real SS sequel.

Probably the best news is they're HDing the Silent Hill games. Thereby releasing better quality versions of some of the best games ever released. Maybe Henry Mason won't look like a collection of blocks.

CyricZ:
[quote="BlueKite1675" post="6.295707.11672854"]

I was wondering if he'd say something on Hitman: Absolution. No David Bateson (voice of 47), no Jesper Kyd, it appears that Diana Burnwood is now a sexpot (when she was originally a stuffy matron type), and from what I'm understanding, you get bonuses for killing all enemies in an area.

What?? Are you serious? This can't be, the orchestral soundtrack was the one of the best things about the series. haaaroooo

This is the first time I've heard anything about Silent Hill HD remakes. Now I just have to figure out why this here 22 year old guy is emitting noises that sound suspiciously like fangirl squees.

Zhukov:

Fiz_The_Toaster:
OT: With Tomb Raider I'm wondering how that survival mechanic works as well. I've read different things on it and I'm interested in it enough to see how that will work out and if it will change the way the game plays out.

I can answer that.

It just highlights the interactive elements in a room. Puts a kind of yellowish glow around them. Fairly similar to "runner vision" in Mirror's Edge.

Yeah... I'm guessing that wasn't what you were hoping for. There's a gameplay demonstration out there that includes it, if you want to see for yourself. A quick bit of googling should find it.

EDIT: Ah, screw it, I'll dig it up myself. Here ya go.

Thanks for the refresher, now that I've had more time to think about that, I guess I just want to know if it's used for a purpose. Like if it's going to affect the story at all, or something of the like. It's an interesting mechanic and all, but I'm wondering if it's something more other than for a dramatic effect. I don't know what to make of it yet to have any sort of hope for it, other than intrigue.

CT862:
So, no mention of Final Fantasy XIII-2? But its just Final Fantasy XIII again, with quick-time events. I'm sure Yahtzee would love it! :-)

Ha ha ha ha!

>( Oh, very nice. Do you know what you just did?! Now poor Yahtzee will have a nightmare.

Yahtzee: :( FFXIII-2?! I have to review this?!

The Escapist: >) Yes. You do, or we cut off your testicles.

Yahtzee: :( How much do I have to play?

The Escapist: >) All of it....

Yahtzee: O_o.......Noooooooooo!!!!!

(Disclaimer: Never played XIII before, and my current favorite FF is 12.)

The problem I have with silent protagonists is exemplified by the direction the Half-Life story is going. I mean, if Gordon Freeman was an actual human-fucking-being and supposed to be a self-insert of the player, he WOULD be voicing his opinion on what's going on. For example, when Eli Vance was hinting towards how he knew about the G-man, but said it was a discussion for another time, Freeman should have stamped his foot and said: "NO! That fucker was following me around and mind-fucking me for the past 15 GODDAMNED YEARS! You are going to tell me what the fuck is the deal with him RIGHT NOW!"

The silent protagonist as a narrative device worked well for Half-Life 1, but Valve have gotten sloppy as of late when it comes to justifying that trope.

Is anyone else surprised that he didn't talk about Saints Row: The Third? I mean seeing as Saints Row 2 is one of his few favorite games of this generation, you would think that he would at least watch the trailer.

I'm just as excited for all the HD re-releases as the next guy, but has anyone noticed that some of them aren't even texture updates, like the God of War Collection?

From what I've seen on the Konami releases, it just looks like they retooled the aspect ratio to better fit HDTVs, so you can see all of it's pixelated glory on the big screen. Of course, being the complete fucking sheep that I am, I'm still going to buy them all, but it still irks me that some of them look like that last piece of shit they call King of Fighters XIII.

I agree with protagonists with voices. I always felt a little bit of disappointment when games like black ops act out a role for me. Call it pointless if you want but I got a little bit more fun out of portal 2 when I was able to express my reactions to the events in the story using only the analog sticks and the jump button. Also: the character doing nothing but grunting when jumping, being shot, ect. also doesn't count since I feel like my character has a gas problem that shows itself every time he exerts himself.

Honestly, some people just can't let go of the past, can they.

The Silent Hill HD Collection

OH GOD IS THIS THE EMOTION YOU CALL JOY????

Oh, I see what you did there :P

image
Where is this image from?
It doesn't seem to be from any of the games mentioned in the article...

On the I Am Alive forums officials say that the game ain't canceled.

Imp Emissary:

CT862:
So, no mention of Final Fantasy XIII-2? But its just Final Fantasy XIII again, with quick-time events. I'm sure Yahtzee would love it! :-)

Ha ha ha ha!

>( Oh, very nice. Do you know what you just did?! Now poor Yahtzee will have a nightmare.

Yahtzee: FFXIII-2?! I have to review this?!

The Escapist: Yes. You do, or we cut off your testicles.

Yahtzee: I'll go clean the knife.

*Later*

Yahtzee: Fucking worth it.

Fixed for you.

What's with all the Revelations games? Assassin's Creed, Resident Evil, there were at least two others whose name escapes me at the moment...

But...I agree with Yahtzee in that Assassin's Creed needs to go back to the whole 'different time periods' thing instead of just going 'OH LOOK, MORE EZIO AND ALTIAR!' Noone ever gets tired of them!

Somebody tell the Escapist editors they accidentally left off page 3, where Yahtzee talks lovingly and in great depth about Saints Row The Third.

Cutscene-heavy Skyrim trailer? The one I watched, entitled "gameplay trailer" featured mainly gameplay, Yahtzee.

So Yahtzee is more optimistic about the E3 titles than I am.
Oh, what a grim realization that is...

OutrageousEmu:

ZZoMBiE13:

Yahtzee Croshaw:
Extra Punctuation: Upcoming Games Won't Suck, Hopefully

Yahtzee runs down the games from E3 for which he has an inkling of hope.

Read Full Article

You can crow about Halo if you like, but no one EVER said Halo was ending. Bungie never said it, Microsoft never said it, no one ever said that Reach was the LAST HALO. They said it was BUNGIE'S LAST HALO. Note the difference. The studio taking over was established and running long before Reach's release.

Right now you're the loudest rooster who's crowing shit that EVERYONE ALREADY KNEW-A-DOODLE-DOO. Might want to dial back the cockey a notch. Wait... forgot who I was talking to.

Never mind. :P

Three words dude. Finish the Fight. Reach didn't say it was the last Halo, Halo 3 did - they only got by it by making prequels and interquels.

Which means that the Chief gets to start another fight! and he can just keep fighting!:P

But being serious here, "Finish the Fight" referred to handing the Covenant their asses', and now that that's done, you have to deal with the "Legendary Planet". 343i's franchise director Frank O'Connor had already heavily indicated that they wanted to follow up with Master Chief's story, which I presume will end in either his epic death (fat chance) or a triumphant return to human civilization with the crew of the UNSC Spirit of Fire from Halo Wars and the humans that got trapped inside the shield world of Onyx in "Ghosts of Onyx". For the grand prize, it would end in his epic death while simultaneously insuring the safe return of the aforementioned people.

And just so you know, I am trying to be wary about this, and hope that they actually make this a worthwhile cash-in continuation, rather than a shitty cash-in continuation. If it sucks nuggets, I and likely many others will declare that it does not actually exist.

Have to agree with Yahtzee on every point, especially Assassin's Creed: Revelation. I was hoping that we'd get to play someone new this round, maybe even Desmond, but no, it's another game with Etzio (and supposedly Altair). Feeling a bit strung along now. Even AC:B had the Brotherhood component. This just has ziplines and some new bombs. Waiting on the Used bin for this one, or an Amazon Deal of the Day at the least.

Well Yahtzee, did these feelings come with a pants ripping boner? then yes you have experienced the power of joy

OutrageousEmu:

ZZoMBiE13:

Yahtzee Croshaw:
Extra Punctuation: Upcoming Games Won't Suck, Hopefully

Yahtzee runs down the games from E3 for which he has an inkling of hope.

Read Full Article

You can crow about Halo if you like, but no one EVER said Halo was ending. Bungie never said it, Microsoft never said it, no one ever said that Reach was the LAST HALO. They said it was BUNGIE'S LAST HALO. Note the difference. The studio taking over was established and running long before Reach's release.

Right now you're the loudest rooster who's crowing shit that EVERYONE ALREADY KNEW-A-DOODLE-DOO. Might want to dial back the cockey a notch. Wait... forgot who I was talking to.

Never mind. :P

Three words dude. Finish the Fight. Reach didn't say it was the last Halo, Halo 3 did - they only got by it by making prequels and interquels.

Halo 3 did finish the fight that had been going on. The Flood were defeated and the Covenant War was ended. Going forward it's a new fight and from what I've gathered on Halo fansites, it's one we (Halo fans) are eager to experience. The next chapter of Master Chief's story was even teased at the end of Halo 3.

It was well publicized that 343 Industries were taking up the Halo mantle from Bungie post Reach. So Yahtzee crowing about it is silly and naive. If he (or anyone) honestly expects that MS would walk away from a franchise game that sells millions of copies, they aren't paying much attention to the way the world works.

And then there was my original point that no one ever said Reach was the final Halo, only that it was Bungie's final Halo. Gamers SAY they want originality, but if each sequel didn't sell better than the last these games would not get made, plain and simple. It's one thing to lament this fact as a critic, it's another to crow triumphantly at something that anyone paying even a little bit of attention was already well aware of.

Wow, I didn't really mean to ramble on this long. Sorry about that. Guess I'm in "overly-verbose" mode. :P

"what I've always liked about it is the way it encourages sneaky stealthy thoughtful approaches to quick surgical strikes before slipping off into the crowd. So when the trailer depicts Ezio having a big old crazy scrap with like a hundred guys, my fingers grope for my temples."

AC was only about stealth in the first one. The other two are about Rambo with a sword, and the dev team seems to think its a good direction.

The Silent Hill HD Collection

OH GOD IS THIS THE EMOTION YOU CALL JOY????
Whoa, Yahtzee! What happened to your pledge of pessimism? Although it does seem interesting.

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