Zero Punctuation: Duke Nukem Forever (for real this time)

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Duke Nukem Forever (for real this time)

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Duke Nukem Forever... again.

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Hmmmm, this wasn't actually as scathing as I expected after all the bad stuff I've heard on other reviews, though the overall feel was still clear and what we all should have expected really: that this game was always going to be a mess. It's a shame as I'd really like an amusing FPS that focused more on single-player rather than shoving all of the resources into a multiplayer I barely use but alas this wasn't to be.

Pretty good review - honest if nothing else.

But its true, DNF is a sad attempt to make up for somehting they never had a snowballs chance in hell to achieve

Who is that guy that appears in almost all of these reviews? (obviously I am not referring to stick Yahtzee I mean the picture used as Dukes cover)

I did not expect this review to be so kind. But I guess that since all the other reviewers went balistic on the game already there was no point in doing it again.

This is the first time I've heard him sound kinda depressed about being forced to hate on a game.

JoJoDeathunter:
Not actually as negative as I expected after all the bad stuff I've heard on other reviews.

I disagree. It was not as hard but a thousand times more dissapointed than any other review ever by zp. It was just so anti climatic that it hurt. Sure, the EGO was fun and all and at least it was honest with itself but really - bringing nothing new what so ever and STILL belittle other, and more successful I might add, games? Thats just sad.

I never actually got into the "Duke Nukem" franchise growing up. And from the looks of things, I never will. (Unless I can buy it really, really cheap and get some easy trophies out of it.)

That... pretty much sums up my views of the DNF experience so far (I'm about 75% in.) So disappointing it's rather sad.

Nice review by Yahtzee...more even handed than I would have been, but great nonetheless. The game is zero fun, ugly and the so-called humour is utter crap. Might have been fine when you were ten, but nowadays it's embarrassing.

Swing on his legs! I vote for swinging.

I think his review perfectly illustrates what's wrong with the game. That it's not just bad, but so abysmally bad that it's actually saddening. Like you expected it to be comically bad as a final punchline to this endless joke, only for it to be tragically bad.

There's just no fun to be had ripping it apart.

I don't care if DNF is an outdated relic and how it compares to modern games. Is it as good as DN 3d? Because DN 3d is a good game regardless of graphics.

In DN 3d, duke's character was in the background, coming out only in the occasional oneliner or cutscene. That game was memorable for its great and varied level design; its true successor is the Half-Life series. Now DNF is criticized for bad level design, while the character of Duke Nukem is front and centre during every minute of the game. DNF may have failed due to misprioritization.

Ahh Yahtzee, you wild lovable rogue, honesty has never been funnier!

JoJoDeathunter:
Hmmmm, this wasn't actually as scathing as I expected after all the bad stuff I've heard on other reviews, though the overall feel was still clear and what we all should have expected really: that this game was always going to be a mess.

Let's just put it this way, when the popular jock takes a basketball or what have you to the junk, it's funny because it's humanizing. When the same thing happens to a kid who rides the short bus, you don't laugh.

Eh. Still going play this game...just not on the consoles since the PC version is better based on most of the reviews I've seen and heard lately. It was worth it to see Yahtzee's video of the real Duke Nukem Forever for the laughs.

seeing Yahtzee disappointed kinda hurts, especially since i feel the same way, i never thought this game was good, i just hoped it would not suck as bad.

Some people claim that Yahtzee's popularity has been dwindling... I don't think those people try to access the site on the days he releases a video...

Ugh...

Hah, good one ZP. I would have to agree, this game just blows...itself a new hole in the head.

EtherealBeaver:

JoJoDeathunter:
Not actually as negative as I expected after all the bad stuff I've heard on other reviews.

I disagree. It was not as hard but a thousand times more dissapointed than any other review ever by zp. It was just so anti climatic that it hurt. Sure, the EGO was fun and all and at least it was honest with itself but really - bringing nothing new what so ever and STILL belittle other, and more successful I might add, games? Thats just sad.

I can see what you mean, there was a tone of utter disappointment in his voice.

Moriarty70:

JoJoDeathunter:
Hmmmm, this wasn't actually as scathing as I expected after all the bad stuff I've heard on other reviews, though the overall feel was still clear and what we all should have expected really: that this game was always going to be a mess.

Let's just put it this way, when the popular jock takes a basketball or what have you to the junk, it's funny because it's humanizing. When the same thing happens to a kid who rides the short bus, you don't laugh.

Good metaphor, I suppose it was good for a change, there's more than enough crappy games being released every month to fulfil a "rip" quota.

Unhappy Crow:
Eh. Still going play this game...just not on the consoles since the PC version is better based on most of the reviews I've seen and heard lately. It was worth it to see Yahtzee's video of the real Duke Nukem Forever for the laughs.

Honestly, dont. Just keep the fond memories of ND3d in the back of your head, prefend that DNF doesnt exist after all and will never be created. Its like a deceased relative. If you see them after they decline and become ill, that will be the image you often remember. If, however, you dont see them after they fall ill, all you will remember are the good times.

I played DNF and I regret it. It's not that it's THAT bad but more that it by no means lives up to the expectations and Duke will never be the same for me.

Again, not <that> bad but just so much less than I expected that it hurts.

Even though I can feel Yahtzee's disappointment with this one, and even though I really like the game simply based off of the "fun factor" and not in actual quality, this was probably one of my more favorite reviews that he's come out with.

I am rather surprised he chose to play the game on a console over a PC though.

EtherealBeaver:
I played DNF and I regret it. It's not that it's THAT bad but more that it by no means lives up to the expectations.

I've said time and time again, if anyone is to actually get into this game they need to quell all of their expectations and biases, it doesn't matter if they're positive or negative, because either way you'll end up disappointed, and I still have this one sinking feeling whenever I play DNF that this is the title I waited for so long.

I really like the game, can't recommend it though, you'll have to be the judge of that on your own. There's nothing to get out of it that excels in general quality. It's objectively worse in that than most other modern shooters of the day, but personally I've had way more actual enjoyment and fun with it than other modern shooters of the day.

Did Yahtzee review just the XBox version or the PC version as well? A lot of the technical gripes (load time, frame rate tanking) only affect the really terrible port to the XBox.

While a lot of the disappointments are still in the PC version, on the PC DNF becomes something that is at least fun to play, whereas it's an unstable wavy frame rate hard to aim mess on the XBox and I imagine not much better on the PS3 except for better loading times and frame rate.

As much as I love Yahtzee....I absolutely fucking HATE how slow the site becomes at this exact time of the week.

Seriously. I Just....CAN'T load this goddamn video. Oh Balls to it, I'll watch it in the morning!

EDIT: It is not yet morning, but i have watched it anyway and...........That was pretty fucking sad, to see how disappointed Yahtzee was.
As dicky as it might seem, I'm with MovieBob on this one.

Meh, I was hoping for a more interesting game... everybody and their dog knows what the deal is with this.

Still, funny though.

lol @ Yahtzee trying to save face after assuming DNF would never come out

It's funny that Yahtzee brings up how Bulletstorm's humor fell flatter than DNF's, because Jim Sterling (another Brit living abroad with a video series on the Escapist, a penchant for cussing, and an iconic bit of accessory) said exactly the opposite: that he liked the humor in Bulletstorm better due to it being so over-the-top and ridiculous.

Just goes to show how incredibly subjective humor can be.

Or that one of them is talking out of their skinny or swollen ass, respectively.

Hacre:
Did Yahtzee review just the XBox version or the PC version as well? A lot of the technical gripes (load time, frame rate tanking) only affect the really terrible port to the XBox.

thats not true. Even on a top end PC it has those issues.

Dang it! I was expecting inFAMOUS 2 since he already reviewed DNF...

Ace IV:
lol @ Yahtzee trying to save face after assuming DNF would never come out

Everyone assumed it would never come out

This wasn't nearly as scathing as I thought it would be. I dare say, Yahtzee, this was more of a lament of disappointment than anything else.

Macrobstar:

Ace IV:
lol @ Yahtzee trying to save face after assuming DNF would never come out

Everyone assumed it would never come out

That's because they didn't bet on Douk

Cool, but now that the obligatory DNF review is out of the way can you do Alice?

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