Jimquisition: Two Rules For Square Enix

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Two Rules For Square Enix

Square Enix has an addiction, and it won't admit it has a problem. Time for an intervention from the man who knows how to fix everything that has ever gone wrong, with his incredible two-step program.

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The way he said right was funny for some reason, if you watched the vid you know which part.
OT: Does anyone really care about SE at this point?

Am i the only one who thought it was pronounced eeeeenix rather than (en)ix?

Also what game are they currently working on that is in the way of FFVXIII/KH3 so i can destroy it.

I still feel like trolling you, I'm just not sure why anymore

I'm liking the sound of the 'Blocks Cometh' game. I'll be giving that a look.

I didn't realise Square Enix have such a problem announcing upteen billion titles at a time, then again, thats probably because I've only ever played one Final Fantasy ever and aren't reall interested in JRPG's in general

I think Square Enix has more problems than that.

PixelKing:

OT: Does anyone really care about SE at this point?

I... don't think so. I used to love me some Squenix because of my love for Final Fantasies and Kingdom Heartses, but after the PS3/360 generation came out, I haven't cared about anything they've released whatsoever. Perhaps Deus Ex could change that for us?

SoopaSte123:

PixelKing:

OT: Does anyone really care about SE at this point?

I... don't think so. I used to love me some Squenix because of my love for Final Fantasies and Kingdom Heartses, but after the PS3/360 generation came out, I haven't cared about anything they've released whatsoever. Perhaps Deus Ex could change that for us?

Deus Ex 3 isn't being developed by them, simply being published by them.

VGStrife:
Am i the only one who thought it was pronounced eeeeenix rather than (en)ix?

Also what game are they currently working on that is in the way of FFVXIII/KH3 so i can destroy it.

Final Fantasy XIII-2

Personally I think SE should just limit themselves to making 2 games at a time, maybe 3. I know they like to make their Japanese RPGs as well as their Western RPGs.

If they were to ask the fans what we want it would just be FFXIII vs and KH3 and no Final Mix bullshit this time. that serves no other purpose than to piss off the western gamers. Making them buy the game 3 times...

Every KH release I always dread the thought that the NA version gets a bonus feature, because that means the Final Mix version will get 10 bonus features on top of the NA bonus. Just make the game right the first time. They could probably do that if they didn't have their team working on 4 different games.

Jim, I am really trying to help but your not giving me much to work with.

Square Enix, one of the biggest publisher of video games (bigger publisher in Japan than here) with many, many subdivisions, can't afford to only announce two games per year. They release many more than you think, a lot of them small ones like Space Invaders Extreme 2 on the DS. Now the company proper could restrain it self from trying to make to many Final Fantasy games, but trying to force a company to making games to fast is the design philisophy behind movie tie ins and arguably CoD.

As for kicking right up the #@^hole for every cutscene announcement at E3, there are ways that don't make me reach for the eye bleach. Like your write up for E3, ignore what Square Enix did or mention how badly and mishandled their presentation of Final Fantasy CXXXI was and your not going to buy their game. If a majority of the people that go to E3 and other things like it, than Square Enix will fear their INVESTORS will be thinking that too (it is a trade show first and foremost) and start make announcements come with SOME gameplay.

SoopaSte123:

PixelKing:

OT: Does anyone really care about SE at this point?

I... don't think so. I used to love me some Squenix because of my love for Final Fantasies and Kingdom Heartses, but after the PS3/360 generation came out, I haven't cared about anything they've released whatsoever. Perhaps Deus Ex could change that for us?

Not really I mean isn't square enix just producing that game? That doesn't count as much as say the final fantasy games or the kingdom hearts series where it's both produced and developed by them or with there flagship powers.

Final fantasy might be kind of the old king these days. The Rpg front seems to appreciate disgea and persona so much more lately.

You only need one rule
Stop making shitty games

AlternatePFG:

SoopaSte123:

PixelKing:

OT: Does anyone really care about SE at this point?

I... don't think so. I used to love me some Squenix because of my love for Final Fantasies and Kingdom Heartses, but after the PS3/360 generation came out, I haven't cared about anything they've released whatsoever. Perhaps Deus Ex could change that for us?

Deus Ex 3 isn't being developed by them, simply being published by them.

Ah, well nevermind then. I shall continue not caring about Squenix.

Squenix has gone a bit too far into the 'publishing shit for lots of money' spiral for me to even pay attention to what they announce any more, I'm sure many people feel the same.

Although I was never very fond of Japanese style games anyway, they always seem a little childish/ feminine to me.

SoopaSte123:
Perhaps Deus Ex could change that for us?

I wouldn't count on it, just looks like another over priced shooter to me.

Square has multiple teams and attempting to make only two games at once would leave several employs twiddling there thumbs but yes they should at least hold off an announcement till they have a release date. Also unclear and repeated and re-edited content in trailers is universal to video games not just Square.

The way he said "Thank God for me" and the end there made me think there was a person behind that podium. I can't be the only one thinking that, can I?

As for the episode, decent. The first point is something I could see done, but the second one, eeeeh, seems a bit off. I would have said something other than attacking a mans anus with steel as a solution. But then again, I doubt you take that serious.

Also, not that this is a critique or anything, but the way you stand at the podium makes you look like a cult leader.

squeenix never got past the "OMG cinematics ar awesome!!!" mentality from the ps1 era.

the charector designer has ADD and too much free time. If after you've made an interesting cast then get bored and cut a sleeve off, put lace on the hems, sunglasses, eyepatches or a more intricate and un sheathable sword... then go home, or buy a doodle pad because making these people up in your cubicle seems to force writers and developers into action

Off-tpoci for a bit, I can see a point of light reflected in both lenses of his sunglasses this episode and it's particulaly noticable/annoying... it makes it look like the poit of light is his pupil somehow shining through.

I have a simplest solution; stop being such a fuck fanboys.
the player behavior it's a fuel that keeps the publisher going

I like the fact square enix could literally shit in a box, stick the final fantasy logo on it and cringeworthy dumb fanboys will haunt the forums forever insisting its a good game really and just misunderstood.

nope.

Final fantasy as a franchise has been as worthless as a child molester for many many years now.

I think Yahtzee called it right in his review of Final Fantasy XIII. SquareEnix doesn't really want to make games anymore, they just want to make films.

Yo Jim!
It's pronounced Square/E-nick's NOT Square/N-ick's and DEFINITLY not Sqeeeeenks!

I love FF games, but if it helps them release them, make the games shorter. FFX was a perfect length, but if that's just not possible nowadays, make the game shorter and it's fine. Most RPGs can tell a story in 20 hours, most other games can make a game in 10, most films 1 1/2. 60 hours isn't necessary and probably even suits some people better to have a shorter game

Was...was that the final cutscene of FF XIII? Well crap, I was planning on actually finishing that game at some point.

Mangue Surfer:
I have a simplest solution; stop being such a fuck fanboys.
the player behavior it's a fuel that keeps the publisher going

I think you'll find it's money that keeps a publisher going. Still, even the fanboys have got to be struggling to keep this one afloat by now. How can they fund Square-Enix's super shiny madness when there's no product?

As a fangirl myself, I will say only this. Grumble grumble grumble.

Wouldn't they have to make another game to use the plural "games"? Last I checked they only made one game, they update the sprites and tack on another useless system then add 1 to the number. Get over it fanboys(and girls) you bought the same game 17+ times!

Lol so many Jim hater here.
I think this episode was brilliant.

I always thought Enix was run by XIII year old boys. >_>

I mean I was in middle school when they announced Versus XIII....

Oh, and have to:

Enix really blew it with XIII. For those complaining about spoilers...uh....XIII doesn't really have any spoilers of merit. More like facts that build up. ' -' [/done the mean]

And once again, Jim Sterling takes five minutes to say something that much better game critics than him have made in ten seconds as little asides in their videos, and dresses it up with this insufferable Giant Ego Persona™ that has ALSO been done much better elsewhere.

It's sad that The Escapist has become so desperate for pageviews that they're willing to bend over backwards to pander to the misogynistic retard demographic, which has been a negative influence on gaming culture since forever. Remember when this site was devoted to actual constructive discussion about gaming and gaming culture? Those days are long gone.

This might have been (somewhat) tolerable if he ever actually said anything that wasn't copy-pasted from other critics more witty and insightful than him, or if his schtick was actually funny.

It's people like Jim Sterling that are helping prevent gaming from being taken seriously as an art form.

LobsterFeng:
Was...was that the final cutscene of FF XIII? Well crap, I was planning on actually finishing that game at some point.

That was the first part of the trailer for FFXIII-2. Square's doing it wrong, methinks.

Seriously, why not just stick to the part with Lightning's new outfit instead of spoiling half of the entire fucking ending?

skotconcarne:
Wouldn't they have to make another game to use the plural "games"? Last I checked they only made one game, they update the sprites and tack on another useless system then add 1 to the number. Get over it fanboys(and girls) you bought the same game 17+ times!

The same could be said of any series. The games are meant to have fundamentally similar gameplay in order to stay consistent with their predecessors. The same could be said of almost any game sequel.

The video was simply boring. Not funny, not interesting, not productive.

Penix is, as always, interested in looking high-profile and making moneys. Since their games apparently suck these days, their best bet is still to announce neat-sounding crap and show vague cutscenes to appeal to the very same livejournal users who have those stupid names. Because nothing would hurt sales like actually showing gameplay.

Except for Deus Ex. That game is going to rule (and has little to nothing to do with the Japanese division of Wenix).

Eh, whatever. I like their games, enjoyed XIII, bladybladyblah.
I do agree, though, that Versus needs to come out soon.

Square Enix needs to go bust so the people with talent can reform and make a splinter company to get back to making great games again.

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